[fr]
[it]
[es2]
[tr]
[de]
[ru]
[se]

Submit your FML story

  • - Concept : An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
  • - CAUTION: Read your message over. Please don't use text language and avoid making too many spelling mistakes.
  • - Please note that spam and nonsensical stories will result in you being blocked from accessing FML.
Your nick :
Categories :
Man or woman?
Email notification?

fatman1970

Search for a member

fatman1970
  • Town/Country : West Midlands, United Kingdom
  • Title : Mister
  • Birth Date : Wednesday 14 January 1970 (42 years)
  • Number of visits : 1261
  • Number of comments : 120
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 1 posted

About fatman1970 : Balding, overweight and ugly!

fatman1970's last visitors

lmc94xoxPatrinaperdixFreezeerpaderpEnEl_InfiernoRiileyBallsMcLongcock4KiddNYC1ODale_xD

fatman1970's FML badges

Fingerprints everywhere

You’ve used your thumb on 1000 comments.

Judgmental

You’ve now voted that they totally deserved it more than 100 times.

Checking you out

You checked out the profile page belonging to one of the last people to have a look at your profile.

See all of fatman1970's badges

fatman1970's favorite FMLs

Today, my kitchen nearly burned down because the fire alarm didn't detect the plumes of smoke wafting through the kitchen. This is the same alarm that wails when I use the toaster. FML

#18825531 (197)

I agree, your life sucks (6796) - you deserved it (853)

On 01/16/2012 at 3:18pm - misc - by Lea (woman) - Denmark (Sjelland)

Today, my mother came home from the grocery store with a 20kg bag of carrots, and nothing else. She then informed me that, for as long as my girlfriend and I keep 'going at it like rabbits', she would be feeding me like one. FML

#18733573 (254)

I agree, your life sucks (4746) - you deserved it (8067)

On 01/07/2012 at 5:27am - intimacy - by Danny - Australia

Today, after rocking my one-year old daughter for nearly two hours, she finally fell asleep. As I went to leave her room, I stubbed my toe. I now have a broken toe, a screaming child, and a wife who will be so proud that her daughter's first word is "FUCK!" FML

#18531059 (198)

I agree, your life sucks (24594) - you deserved it (3693)

On 12/16/2011 at 9:29pm - kids - by DocBastard - Reserved

Today, my dad had his "sixteen years overdue" vasectomy. I'm fifteen. FML

#18367915 (131)

I agree, your life sucks (18999) - you deserved it (1561)

On 11/27/2011 at 4:41pm - misc - by davidh5012 (man) - United States (North Carolina)

Today, my son told me he was afraid of monsters under his bed. When I poked my head under to show him nothing was there, the family cat sprang out and clawed me in the face. Now I have a gash on my chin, and my son refuses to go anywhere near his bed. FML

#18336712 (100)

I agree, your life sucks (23148) - you deserved it (2151)

On 11/24/2011 at 12:07pm - kids - by Anonymous - United States (New York)

Today, I found Jesus. The bad news, he was in the form of a concrete statue falling on my car. FML

#18316439 (136)

I agree, your life sucks (24210) - you deserved it (2040)

On 11/22/2011 at 12:18pm - misc - by religionbites621 - United States (Tennessee)

Today, my buddy told me he was going to get an HIV test at the health department. Without thinking, I told him to "think positive". FML

#18216431 (114)

I agree, your life sucks (8895) - you deserved it (2079)

On 11/11/2011 at 3:42am - health - by devinchi (man) - United States

Today, my baby son latched onto my nipple for a feed, after a month of having to be bottle fed because he wouldn't latch. This would be fantastic, if it weren't for the fact that I'm his father, not his mother. FML

#18191670 (185)

I agree, your life sucks (29369) - you deserved it (2556)

On 11/08/2011 at 9:01am - kids - by possiblyoverweight (man) - United Kingdom (Bristol)

Today, I locked myself out of my own shop. And I'm a locksmith. FML

#18102402 (180)

I agree, your life sucks (9966) - you deserved it (3038)

On 10/29/2011 at 10:07am - work - by joser6969 - United States

Today, my dad walked in on me and my girlfriend having sex. His only reaction was to mutter, "Put some back into it, son." before awkwardly sidling out. FML

#18087484 (216)

I agree, your life sucks (9643) - you deserved it (2139)

On 10/27/2011 at 8:22am - intimacy - by ifeeldirty (man) - United States (Illinois)

Today, I saw my upstairs neighbor outside getting the mail. She asked how my day was, and then apologized that the sound of her baby's crying through the walls kept me up last night. Apparently she heard me when I yelled at 2am for her fucking demon spawn to shut up. FML

#18086804 (223)

I agree, your life sucks (4229) - you deserved it (9948)

On 10/27/2011 at 2:41am - misc - by Deborah - United States

Today, after a stressful series of events, I went to the beach to unwind. I sat on the sand, breathed in deeply and closed my eyes, trying to find some sort of inner peace. Then a seagull shat on me. FML

#18021693 (115)

I agree, your life sucks (21886) - you deserved it (2055)

On 10/19/2011 at 5:40am - misc - by targe - Australia (New South Wales)

Today, for the first time, I beat my brother in a game of CoD. Not being a gamer, I was ecstatic. Later, when I was in the shower, my brother snuck in the bathroom, yelled "Napalm strike!" and threw our cat over the shower curtain like a furry grenade from hell. FML

#17981940 (262)

I agree, your life sucks (34878) - you deserved it (3401)

On 10/14/2011 at 12:11pm - kids - by MLGreco - United States

Today, I asked my Dad if it was true that my mother had a C-section at my birth. He replied "Yeah, so technically you weren't even born, you were surgically removed, like a tumor." FML

#17638273 (61)

I agree, your life sucks (25877) - you deserved it (3077)

On 09/01/2011 at 7:40pm - misc - by mannydanny (woman) - United Kingdom (Coventry)

Today, my boyfriend thought it would be sexy if he bit me on the lips. Normally, I would have enjoyed it, if the lips in question were the ones on my face. FML

#17591992 (218)

I agree, your life sucks (27841) - you deserved it (2935)

On 08/27/2011 at 2:08am - intimacy - by RainCl0ud - United States (California)