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  • - Concept : An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
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fakechaosx

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fakechaosx
  • Town/Country : Not specified
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  • Birth Date : Not specified
  • Number of visits : 223
  • Number of comments : 4
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 4 posted

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fakechaosx's favorite FMLs

Today, my seven-year-old sister came to stay at my house for the night. She usually just sleepwalks. But tonight she sleep-peed in my clean clothes basket. FML

#7966871 (28)

I agree, your life sucks (15949) - you deserved it (1321)

On 02/07/2010 at 7:31am - misc - by wallbanger - Australia (South Australia)

Today, I was stuck on the toilet with a huge stomachache after eating bad food the day before. I got up to flush when I noticed that there was a cockroach struggling feebly in the pile of crap. I'll never know if it got there before or after I crapped. FML

#7379683 (143)

I agree, your life sucks (25678) - you deserved it (2302)

On 01/16/2010 at 3:19pm - health - by dire-rear (woman) - Singapore

Today, I drove my new car with a manual transmission for the first time by myself. I was at a stoplight and saw a cute guy in the car next to me. He looked my way and gave me "the nod". The light turned green and I tried to go but I stalled out, lurching my car forward right into the car next to me. FML

#7174150 (112)

I agree, your life sucks (4047) - you deserved it (13660)

On 01/06/2010 at 12:06am - misc - by Anonymous - United States (Colorado)

Today, a friend of mine and I were talking about how hygienic we are. She mentioned she hadn't shaved her downstairs in a while. I was looking at the computer when she said this so when I turned to look at her I saw she had pulled down her pants and underwear. I was face to face with hairy muff. FML

#6646693 (102)

I agree, your life sucks (11930) - you deserved it (2289)

On 12/07/2009 at 4:30am - intimacy - by roxyriley - United States (Arizona)

Today, my girlfriend and I decided to try cybersex, because we rarely see each other these days. We only used text. Halfway through, I noticed that she started being more demanding. As it turns out, my girlfriend had left the room and her older brother had walked in and taken over. FML

#6613965 (46)

I agree, your life sucks (6308) - you deserved it (8061)

On 12/05/2009 at 9:19am - intimacy - by Anon - United Kingdom (Leicester)

Today, I finally released my first music album. I dropped out of college to pay for it after my friends who liked my music urged me to. They keep telling me how much they love the CD. I've only sold one copy. Turns out they put it on a sharing site so only one of them would have to buy it. FML

#6546690 (134)

I agree, your life sucks (25626) - you deserved it (9658)

On 12/01/2009 at 1:57am - misc - by Rob (man) - United States (California)

Today, while dining at a restaurant I heard a women choking. I immediately ran to her, wrapped my arms around her and started giving her abdominal thrusts. She freed herself and slapped me. Turns out she wasn't choking, she was just laughing. FML

#6546053 (93)

I agree, your life sucks (9604) - you deserved it (19990)

On 12/01/2009 at 1:15am - misc - by helper (man) - Costa Rica (Heredia)

Today, I spoke with my boyfriend's crazy ex-girlfriend. Actually, she isn't all that crazy. He really did cheat on her with half a dozen other girls. The same girls he's apparently cheating on me with. How do I know for sure? Thank you crazy ex for his email passwords. FML

#6521538 (132)

I agree, your life sucks (31374) - you deserved it (3285)

On 11/29/2009 at 9:06pm - love - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Massachusetts)

Today, my ceiling fan was rocking violently so I turned it off. I stood under it trying to figure out what the problem is, it fell on my face. FML

#6512004 (89)

I agree, your life sucks (23297) - you deserved it (8358)

On 11/29/2009 at 11:57am - misc - by Anonymous (man) - United States

Today, I found out that my dad hides his Viagra from my mom by keeping it in an Aspirin container. Now I have a terrible headache and a boner. FML

#6421239 (130)

I agree, your life sucks (23537) - you deserved it (2805)

On 11/23/2009 at 1:05pm - intimacy - by sickkid (man) - United States (California)

Today, I was really depressed so I talked on the phone with my best friend. She was telling me how a guy she really liked complimented her. I told her it was be nice to get at least one compliment. After a long silence she says, "You're really good with computers." FML

#6312385 (73)

I agree, your life sucks (19236) - you deserved it (3633)

On 11/15/2009 at 12:55pm - misc - by Ugh (man) - United States (Missouri)

Today, I was on my back porch having a cigarette. Not being all that awake yet, I threw the butt, still smoldering, on the ground. Did I remember that there was an ashtray right next to me? No. I did what I would do at work: I stamped it out. Barefoot. FML

#6237961 (156)

I agree, your life sucks (3633) - you deserved it (32917)

On 11/10/2009 at 12:24am - health - by ID10t (man) - United States (California)

Today, my college roommate whom I've never met moved in. Good thing I wasn't completely naked, playing with myself on the couch when he walked in. That would've been awkward. FML

#4983449 (103)

I agree, your life sucks (6196) - you deserved it (23631)

On 09/01/2009 at 7:44pm - intimacy - by mrboston (man) - United States (Texas)

Today, I started my period. I am getting married tomorrow. So, not only am I going to be on my period for my wedding night and honeymoon, my best friend has to help me change my pad because my dress is so big. FML

#1292043 (394)

I agree, your life sucks (61409) - you deserved it (6303)

On 04/24/2009 at 3:50pm - misc - by anonymous (woman) - United States (Missouri)

Today, I was playing with my pet hamster and I decided to put it down my pants for fun. It started running around and I actually got aroused. My mom then walked into my room to see me with an erection and my pet hamster poking his head out of the hole in my boxers. FML

#878433 (735)

I agree, your life sucks (29261) - you deserved it (210183)

On 04/08/2009 at 10:14pm - intimacy - by hammylove (man) - United States (Florida)