Submit your FML story

  • - Concept: An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
  • - CAUTION: Read your message over. Please don't use text language and avoid making too many spelling mistakes.
  • - Please note that spam and nonsensical stories will result in you being blocked from accessing FML.
Your nick:
Categories :
Man or woman?

failwhatwhat

Search for a member

failwhatwhat

0Liked!

  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Not specified
  • Birth Date : Monday 12 March 1990 (24 years)
  • <3 status : Not specified
  • Number of visits : 7289
  • Number of comments : 41
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 3 posted

This member hasn't filled in the description.

failwhatwhat's page activity

Visits<b>Freeze</b> - the 09/10/2011 at 10:26pm<b>newzealander</b> - the 08/01/2009 at 3:49pm<b>cheer_hottie1294</b> - the 06/21/2009 at 1:14am<b>justillin</b> - the 06/09/2009 at 3:12am<b>Gavik</b> - the 06/04/2009 at 10:08pm<b>DarkMirror</b> - the 06/04/2009 at 6:03pm<b>shoegal808</b> - the 06/04/2009 at 8:20am<b>wienerwagon</b> - the 05/24/2009 at 6:50pm<b>Lbooks93</b> - the 05/20/2009 at 11:41pm<b>funtimez</b> - the 05/19/2009 at 8:04pm<b>KelCee_E</b> - the 05/17/2009 at 11:06pm<b>muffy_da_bear</b> - the 05/15/2009 at 3:36pm<b>alex4digiprod</b> - the 05/14/2009 at 11:57am<b>littlehowl</b> - the 05/14/2009 at 10:00am<b>Phlecks</b> - the 05/14/2009 at 2:25am<b>so_me</b> - the 05/14/2009 at 12:55am<b>djsubdu3</b> - the 05/13/2009 at 4:45am<b>assman266</b> - the 05/12/2009 at 10:50pm

failwhatwhat's FML badges

How depressing, no badges acquired at all. :/

failwhatwhat's favorite FMLs

Today, my dad told me about how my mother had a bad dream last night and began to scream "Don't take me, take my children!" FML

#2116644
128 comments

I agree, your life sucks (62947) - you deserved it (3488)

On 05/20/2009 at 4:49pm - misc - by lm (man) - Ireland (Dublin)

Today, I took my mom out to a fancy restaurant, and spent close to $300 on her Mother's Day present. Later, my little brother drew her a card with crayons on pink construction paper. She cried. He is 20 years old. FML

#1818781
156 comments

I agree, your life sucks (58700) - you deserved it (5691)

On 05/10/2009 at 4:42pm - kids - by Jess-zee (man) - Canada (Newfoundland and Labrador)

Today, while working at a pizza shop near a college campus, I got an order to deliver to the dorms. Extremely busy at work and annoyed that someone wouldn't take 3 minutes to walk over, I spat on the pizza. When I arrived to the dorm, a woman in a wheelchair opened the door. FML

#1767727
693 comments

I agree, your life sucks (15862) - you deserved it (238012)

On 05/09/2009 at 12:43am - work - by pizzagurl (woman) - United States (Georgia)

Today, while working at my tanning salon, a woman came in and I put her in a booth, which are all stand up. After she comes out, I go in to clean it and realize that floor is all wet. I questioned her about it and she replies, "Oh, I peed, that's not a drain?". FML

#1756175
103 comments

I agree, your life sucks (59721) - you deserved it (2350)

On 05/08/2009 at 7:17pm - work - by lover21 (woman) - United States (New York)

Today, I got a call from my child's preschool saying that "Mindy keeps saying she sits on her daddy's lap and plays with his peter." My daughter meant 'puter, as in computer. Now the school is worried my husband is a child molester. FML

#1704585
148 comments

I agree, your life sucks (61887) - you deserved it (2689)

On 05/06/2009 at 9:43pm - misc - by Gumfanatic302 (woman) - United States (Nevada)

Today, my soccer team got our warm up t-shirts that say "You can hit on us, but you can't score." After the game, a guy behind my friend asks, "Hey what does the front of your shirt say?" I replied for her, "You can hit on us." He looked at me and my friend and said, "No thanks." FML

#1593642
88 comments

I agree, your life sucks (40450) - you deserved it (10075)

On 05/03/2009 at 1:46pm - misc - by Anonymous - United States (Virginia)

Today, I overheard my dad's friend complaining to my dad that his new baby boy is a ginger. I continued listening, and heard my dad saying, "Yeah, there's nothing worse than having a ginger." I'm his daughter. I'm a ginger. FML

#1591597
319 comments

I agree, your life sucks (56376) - you deserved it (6429)

On 05/03/2009 at 12:40pm - misc - by Deirbhile (woman) - United States (Massachusetts)

Today, I walked into a restaurant with my parents to celebrate my Mom's birthday. They immediately got a kid's menu and crayons out for me. I'm 15. FML

#1588127
334 comments

I agree, your life sucks (48163) - you deserved it (7796)

On 05/03/2009 at 10:06am - misc - by TooShort (man) - United States (Pennsylvania)

Today, my alarm went off at 6.30. I woke up disorientated, as usual. I looked up and saw a dark, mysterious figure entering my room. Still half asleep, I screamed and dived under my covers. The dark, mysterious figure was my mom. I'm a 21 year old guy. FML

#1564480
105 comments

I agree, your life sucks (18337) - you deserved it (42432)

On 05/02/2009 at 4:44pm - misc - by screamo (man) - United Kingdom (Derby)

Today, my 6 year old daughter asked me, "what would happen to me if you and daddy died?". I told her that she'd probably live with her Uncle Ant and Aunt Ilene. She looked at me and said "You guys can die. I won't cry. I get everything I want over there." FML

#1551610
229 comments

I agree, your life sucks (92463) - you deserved it (9060)

On 05/02/2009 at 4:12am - kids - by Anonymous - United States (North Carolina)

Today, I had my first job interview and didn't have much of an appetite because of the nerves. So I grabbed a brownie that my roommate had left in the fridge and ate it on the train ride in to the city. About 20 minutes into my interview I was so stoned I couldn't speak. FML

#1550190
358 comments

I agree, your life sucks (176972) - you deserved it (45606)

On 05/02/2009 at 2:28am - work - by Dunzo15 (man) - United States (New York)

Today, 3 of the 4 stalls were occupied in the rest room. I took the 4th stall. Upon sitting, I let out one of the longest, loudest farts I have done in a long time. Next, I hear "Hey, how's it going?". I was CORRECTLY identified by a co-worker hearing me fart. FML

#1487277
79 comments

I agree, your life sucks (51236) - you deserved it (10026)

On 04/30/2009 at 10:55am - work - by RckRagman (man) - United States (Massachusetts)

Today, I was taking the subway to work when I saw a really hot girl. Noticing that she, like me, had a Dunkin' Donuts coffee, I tried to start a conversation by saying, "Is that Double Ds you have there?" She didn't pick up that I was talking about the coffee. FML

#1466459
300 comments

I agree, your life sucks (18540) - you deserved it (89289)

On 04/29/2009 at 6:46pm - misc - by Anonymous (man) - United States (New York)

Today, I got kicked in the face at a soccer game. Everybody clapped. FML

#1351695
125 comments

I agree, your life sucks (62497) - you deserved it (8800)

On 04/26/2009 at 11:14am - misc - by Tal (woman) - United States (New Jersey)

Today, I walked into my dorm to find my roommate hanging a voodoo doll of me on a noose. FML

#1346080
151 comments

I agree, your life sucks (82115) - you deserved it (5548)

On 04/26/2009 at 2:13am - misc - by calliefml (woman) - United States (Tennessee)



FML's blog

  • FML on vacation #2: In slow-moving hell
  • It was once a dream, now it’s come true. We’re at the place that was allocated months ago for preprogrammed, enforced holiday fun time. We’ve put on some cargo shorts, slipped on some of those…

Wednesday 13 August 2014

The whole blog

FMyLife, world tour

Available on: