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faildood

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faildood
  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Mister
  • Birth Date : Thursday 13 September 1990 (23 years)
  • Number of visits : 862
  • Number of comments : 0
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 0 posted

About faildood : faildood is fail =)

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faildood's favorite FMLs

Today, I heard my mother and father having sexual intercourse, and I found out that my mother moans the same way as my girlfriend. Guess who I now think about every time my girlfriend moans? FML

#12679955
201 comments

I agree, your life sucks (42299) - you deserved it (5362)

On 08/22/2010 at 8:14am - intimacy - by shawty - Australia (Queensland)

Today, my friend thought it would be funny to dress in all black with a ski mask and use my spare key to break into my house as a joke. He though it was even funnier when I jumped out the window and broke my leg. FML

#5622271
104 comments

I agree, your life sucks (32854) - you deserved it (5121)

On 10/03/2009 at 1:55pm - misc - by Anonymous (man) - United States (California)

Today, I was eating MandMs on a chair when I dropped one and it fell under my crotch. My mom came in to see my hand on my crotch and me muttering, "Where is that little bastard?" FML

#5187635
125 comments

I agree, your life sucks (56330) - you deserved it (14568)

On 09/11/2009 at 2:26pm - misc - by awilson (man) - United States (Massachusetts)

Today, I was on the phone bragging to a friend about losing my virginity last night. When I went downstairs, my 6 year old sister was digging through my purse. She explained that she had overheard my conversation and wanted to help me find my virginity. My mom was in the kitchen with us. FML

#4505034
212 comments

I agree, your life sucks (33405) - you deserved it (76080)

On 08/13/2009 at 4:57pm - kids - by bubbalicious (woman) - Canada (Ontario)

Today, my brother's best friend spent the night and was changing with the door partially open. He's super hot and as I was watching him change, he sneezed. Forgetting he didn't know I was watching him, I said bless you. He called me a freak, slammed the door in my face and told my parents. FML

#4235040
415 comments

I agree, your life sucks (12168) - you deserved it (111855)

On 08/02/2009 at 6:03pm - misc - by jeeperspeepers (woman) - United States (Washington)

Today, I was standing by the bed naked, waiting for my wife to come out of the bathroom. She opens the door and walks over to me, swinging her hips, wearing pratically nothing. About four feet from me, she trips on the edge of the floor mat, and uses my 'junk' to catch herself. FML

#3950301
180 comments

I agree, your life sucks (71646) - you deserved it (5682)

On 07/22/2009 at 10:12am - intimacy - by Gordon (man) - United States (Kansas)

Today, I was working at the gas station. An old lady was watching me fill her gas tank. A really beautiful girl walked by. I lost concentration and overfilled the tank. I quickly pulled it out and squirted the old lady with a bit of petrol. She was smiling and gave a slight moan. FML

#3611861
130 comments

I agree, your life sucks (45115) - you deserved it (11495)

On 07/09/2009 at 1:50pm - intimacy - by Fattie (man) - Malaysia (Sarawak)

Today, I fell asleep while lifeguarding, thinking I could get away with it due to my sunglasses. When I woke up, I saw my boss waving at me. Apparently she'd been trying to get my attention for five minutes. FML

#3477927
148 comments

I agree, your life sucks (4671) - you deserved it (57074)

On 07/04/2009 at 11:24am - work - by Sleepy (man) - United States (Florida)

Today, my boyfriend returned from a 2 month internship in New York. As I saw him exit the plane, I imagined him running to me and kissing/spinning me around passionately like in movies. He got closer and closer, and as I opened my arms to embrace him, he runs past me saying, "BRB, I GOTTA TAKE A SHIT." FML

#3472091
201 comments

I agree, your life sucks (49889) - you deserved it (9127)

On 07/04/2009 at 2:07am - health - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (California)

Today, I was shopping at a supermarket. As I was about to pay for my items, I noticed the cashier was very cute. Trying to be nice, I smiled. She smiled back and said "Hello, how are you?" Instead of saying 'I'm good' or "I'm okay", I said "I'm gay". FML

#1972272
184 comments

I agree, your life sucks (53941) - you deserved it (21840)

On 05/16/2009 at 5:13am - misc - by UncleRory (man) - United States (New York)

Today, I rolled down the windows in my car. When I tried to roll up the passenger side window, it was stuck. Rain was coming so I freaked out and brought it to the dealership to get it fixed. The man pushed the child safety lock button and the entire garage erupted in laughter. FML

#1525819
96 comments

I agree, your life sucks (10792) - you deserved it (55297)

On 05/01/2009 at 2:42pm - misc - by KMilly (woman) - United States (Virginia)

Today, I performed in my school play. Right before my big solo, I noticed a few girls changing backstage and I became aroused. The play was Jesus Christ Superstar, and I was playing Jesus. All I was wearing was a little cloth, so the whole audience saw Jesus get hard during the crucifixion. FML

#981592
239 comments

I agree, your life sucks (91509) - you deserved it (37712)

On 04/14/2009 at 11:27pm - intimacy - by jizzlemonster13 (man) - United States (New York)

Today, I came home a few days early from a 3-month business trip. As I opened my apartment door, hoping to surprise my girlfriend, the man she's apparently been cheating on me with promptly punched me in the face. He thought I was a burglar. FML

#663425
90 comments

I agree, your life sucks (100841) - you deserved it (3808)

On 03/28/2009 at 3:42pm - love - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Massachusetts)



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