Submit your FML story

  • - Concept: An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
  • - CAUTION: Read your message over. Please don't use text language and avoid making too many spelling mistakes.
  • - Please note that spam and nonsensical stories will result in you being blocked from accessing FML.
Your nick:
Categories :
Man or woman?

fai89

Search for a member

fai89

0Liked!

  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Mister
  • Birth Date : Friday 1 July 1988 (26 years)
  • <3 status : Single
  • Number of visits : 502
  • Number of comments : 0
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 0 posted

About fai89 : Im a cool guy

fai89's page activity

Visits<b>princesspooky</b> - the 01/02/2013 at 12:18pm

fai89's FML badges

Socialite

You’ve used FML’s private messaging service for the first time. Will they reply? Wait and see…

Beginner

You have looked through 5 pages of the website. That’s a start.

This isn't what should be happening

You've set the cat off again, he's started pushing fruit out of bodies of water. Well done.

See all of fai89's badges

fai89's favorite FMLs

Today, my husband woke up, rolled over, and said, "Good morning, beautiful." He hasn't called me that in months, but as I was about to reply, I realized he was talking to his pet turtle, not me. FML

#20549421
59 comments

I agree, your life sucks (37838) - you deserved it (3078)

On 03/18/2013 at 3:38pm - love - by Maggie - United States

Today, my boss gave me the task of firing a recently-hired coworker next Friday. This guy spends most of his off-hours working out, probably abusing the fuck out of steroids, and to whom prison is like a bed-and-breakfast. I fear for my life by this point. FML

#20526945
60 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27525) - you deserved it (2374)

On 03/01/2013 at 1:22pm - work - by cthulhu help me (man) - United States (Arkansas)

Today, my brother was arrested for starting a fistfight at a funeral. He didn't even know the deceased; he's just been crashing funerals recently, hoping to hook up with mourners. I'm not sure who's more pathetic: him for doing such a thing, or me for bailing his fucking dumb arse out of jail. FML

#20509476
97 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29568) - you deserved it (6920)

On 02/16/2013 at 1:03pm - money - by an idiot (man) - Australia

Today, I finally confronted my bully. Too bad it was at my high school reunion and he beat the shit out of me. FML

#20505236
84 comments

I agree, your life sucks (32542) - you deserved it (5049)

On 02/13/2013 at 5:29pm - misc - by Anonymous (man) - Canada (Ontario)

Today, after weeks of practice, I proudly did 9 chin-ups on my chin-up bar. As soon as I was done, my 11-year-old daughter came over and banged out 12 of them. Then she wiped her sweaty hands off and did 8 more. Then she gave me pointers on my technique. FML

#20493569
117 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30513) - you deserved it (6676)

On 02/04/2013 at 8:00pm - health - by WeakerThanaLittleGirl (man) - United States

Today, I was dragged to a Super Bowl party. While there, the host's kid threw 3 cups of apple sauce at my feet, which then exploded and covered my jeans. 10 minutes later, the host's wife announced that she was pregnant with twins. All I could come up with was, "You're making more!?" FML

#20492510
90 comments

I agree, your life sucks (33127) - you deserved it (5774)

On 02/04/2013 at 12:15am - kids - by Anonymous - United States (California)

Today, I was cleaning at work when an elderly gentleman walked towards me, paused, and with a wink said, "That's what I like to see: a girl on her knees." This is the same workplace where another old man informed me that my yellow uniform made me look like a "suggestive cheesecake." FML

#20472773
92 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29936) - you deserved it (2611)

On 01/22/2013 at 6:14am - work - by Job Seeking (woman) - Australia (Victoria)

Today, I learned who my dad's new fiancée is. Upon meeting her she exclaimed, "My, I haven't seen you in a while!" She's my ex-boyfriend's mom. FML

#20450908
102 comments

I agree, your life sucks (35713) - you deserved it (2961)

On 01/09/2013 at 10:15pm - love - by wtf dad - United States (Missouri)

Today, I tried to get my boyfriend to roll over while he was asleep. He snores loud enough to wake the neighbors and if he lays on his side he usually stops. Instead of rolling over, he stuck his leg in the air, farted twice, and laughed about it in his sleep. He's still snoring. FML

#20447496
85 comments

I agree, your life sucks (35833) - you deserved it (5175)

On 01/08/2013 at 2:44am - misc - by no sleep for me -

Today, I sat on my own testicles while having a serious and tenderly sweet discussion with my fiancée about our future together. We were both crying, but for very different reasons. FML

#20433657
72 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30465) - you deserved it (5112)

On 12/31/2012 at 6:16am - health - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Washington)

Today, I auditioned for a role in ballet. My stomach was in pain and as I ran to be lifted into the air by my partner, I let out a huge fart. The auditorium was dead silent. FML

#20429501
105 comments

I agree, your life sucks (37028) - you deserved it (4077)

On 12/29/2012 at 4:32am - misc - by gassy - United States (Washington)

Today, I tried to impress a girl at the gym on the squat rack, but let out a big fart. She was grossed out and laughed at me with her friends. Her boyfriend came over and told me I was a dead man, and I'd better leave. I'm now the proud owner of a year membership at a gym I can't go to. FML

#20425068
144 comments

I agree, your life sucks (18950) - you deserved it (24853)

On 12/27/2012 at 1:46am - health - by pipefitter28 (man) - Canada (British Columbia)

Today, my psycho grandma yelled at me for being an "immature brat" by not offering to wash the dishes after dinner. I reminded her that when I offered last time, she raged at me for being "condescending". She responded by faking a heart attack and getting me indefinitely grounded. FML

#20421624
79 comments

I agree, your life sucks (33756) - you deserved it (2604)

On 12/25/2012 at 3:59pm - misc - by really mature, GRAN (woman) - United States (California)

Today, I sold some weights that were way too heavy for me on Craigslist. I felt okay with not being able to lift them when I saw the other man, who was a pretty buff dude; that is until of course he informed me he was buying them for his wife. FML

#20407956
76 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26276) - you deserved it (7776)

On 12/19/2012 at 6:33pm - misc - by Johnny (man) - United States (Tennessee)

Today, a friend informed me that my dog's name means "penis" in Greek. I live in a predominantly Greek neighbourhood, and apparently I've been screaming for "dong" every evening for the past 3 years. No wonder they don't talk to me much. FML

#20405418
124 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30070) - you deserved it (8586)

On 12/18/2012 at 10:30am - misc - by Dog_Lover (woman) - Canada (Quebec)



Emily Chan's illustrated FML

The Artist's interview

All illustrated FMLs

FML's blog

  • Emily Chan's Illustrated FML
  • This week, we landed a spacecraft on a comet. Not FML, though. You've got to admit that the human brain is quite amazing when it comes to resources, creativity and inventing new ways to push things forward. On…

Friday 14 November 2014

The whole blog

FMyLife, world tour

Available on: