Submit your FML story

  • - Concept: An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
  • - CAUTION: Read your message over. Please don't use text language and avoid making too many spelling mistakes.
  • - Please note that spam and nonsensical stories will result in you being blocked from accessing FML.
Your nick:
Categories :
Man or woman?

f_ckml432

Search for a member

f_ckml432

0Liked!

  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Miss
  • Birth Date : Not specified
  • <3 status : Single
  • Number of visits : 465
  • Number of comments : 18
  • Number of FMLs : 1 confirmed out of 6 posted

This member hasn't filled in the description.

f_ckml432's page activity

Visits<b>sallee23444</b> - the 08/14/2014 at 10:47pm<b>plantedrabbit3</b> - the 07/19/2014 at 6:52pm<b>RoseFox0029</b> - the 05/14/2014 at 5:53pm<b>Tthug</b> - the 03/27/2014 at 11:43am<b>andyhitts25</b> - the 01/14/2014 at 5:12pm<b>Wild_Marco</b> - the 01/07/2014 at 7:41am<b>NandaPanda</b> - the 12/19/2013 at 7:02pm<b>ImmortalBeast</b> - the 12/04/2013 at 9:01pm<b>swampbaby985</b> - the 11/28/2013 at 4:31am<b>missmandersxoxo</b> - the 10/29/2013 at 12:17am<b>klainiac</b> - the 06/15/2013 at 12:26am<b>Darien490</b> - the 06/10/2013 at 5:51pm<b>ImpiaUmbra</b> - the 03/15/2013 at 2:30am<b>TheChelseaSays</b> - the 03/01/2013 at 9:00pm<b>Elle_ShellBelle</b> - the 01/27/2013 at 9:48pm<b>In_some_bullshit</b> - the 01/25/2013 at 3:54am<b>Mornai</b> - the 02/25/2012 at 8:02am<b>opinionmaker</b> - the 01/12/2012 at 3:46am

f_ckml432's FML badges

One ring to rule them all

You submitted an FML that was successfully published on the website. This makes you an exceptional human being.

Back from a party

An FML submitted on a Saturday morning between 5 and 6am can't be a good FML.

Consolation prize

Your FML was denied. We had to at least give you a badge to cheer you up a bit.

See all of f_ckml432's badges

f_ckml432's favorite FMLs

Today, I was sitting in on a boring presentation at work. I yawned and shifted in my chair, accidentally sitting on my testicles. I shrieked in pain and spent the next five minutes choking back tears, while my boss told me to shut my mouth and stop fucking around. FML

#20066447
167 comments

I agree, your life sucks (19701) - you deserved it (7085)

On 09/10/2012 at 5:20pm - work - by kevcng (man) - United States

Today, I was watching some pretty intense porn on my Macbook. I unplugged the second monitor so I could lie on my bed. Instead of defaulting to the screen, Airplay somehow synced it to the living room TV, where the rest of my family was watching a movie. FML

#20052962
178 comments

I agree, your life sucks (19113) - you deserved it (46582)

On 09/01/2012 at 7:14pm - intimacy - by WhyAppleWhy (man) - United States (Florida)

Today, my dog, who has been specially trained to go for help when I'm having a seizure, went to alert my parents downstairs that I was having an emergency. The "emergency" was me masturbating. FML

#20052579
120 comments

I agree, your life sucks (32554) - you deserved it (10156)

On 09/01/2012 at 1:56pm - intimacy - by thewhompingwillow (man) - United States (Virginia)

Today, my sister, knowing that I'm terrified of his face, taped a picture of Michael Jackson over our toilet. When I entered the washroom, I sprinted back out screaming. Minutes later, while in the shower, I happened to glance up at the ceiling. Guess who was grinning down at me. FML

#19753089
174 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25674) - you deserved it (8164)

On 06/08/2012 at 12:35am - misc - by ugh - Canada (Ontario)

Today, I was on a date with a very intelligent and handsome guy. I was so nervous that when he was telling me about his twin sister, I asked him if they were identical twins. FML

#19731681
177 comments

I agree, your life sucks (14022) - you deserved it (17415)

On 06/04/2012 at 8:45am - love - by boohoo (woman) - Netherlands (Noord-Holland)

Today, I found out that my colleagues had replaced my email auto-responder with a message saying, "I'm away for two weeks in Brazil. Due to the surgery, when I return, please address me by my new name: Crystal." FML

#19710494
119 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27978) - you deserved it (2709) - Translated from the french version of FML. Bon appétit!

On 05/31/2012 at 4:19pm - love - by Monsieur-Madame (man) - France (Champagne-Ardenne)

Today, while I was on the floor stocking a bottom shelf, a man walked up behind me and humped the back of my head. He ran away laughing. This kind of shit happens all the time. I hate my job. FML

#19218186
169 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27997) - you deserved it (2521)

On 03/05/2012 at 12:12am - work - by cero_kewl - United States

Today, was the fifth night I've dreamed of brushing my teeth. I wake up about three times a night because as I spit in my dream, I actually spit on my face as I'm sleeping. FML

#18995010
94 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23022) - you deserved it (2709)

On 02/04/2012 at 7:35pm - misc - by wetdreams - Canada (Alberta)

Today, I had to explain to my boyfriend why having sex with him was like trying to pick up an overcooked noodle with an empty Pringles can. FML

#18772275
102 comments

I agree, your life sucks (13525) - you deserved it (31967)

On 01/11/2012 at 12:42am - intimacy - by bunnyluver4545 - United States (Texas)

Today, I was naked, still deciding what to wear, when the doorbell rang. I grabbed the closest thing to cover up with: my Snuggie. I answered the door, it was kids asking for donations. Without thinking, I turned around to grab my purse. FML

#18259551
157 comments

I agree, your life sucks (13799) - you deserved it (29294)

On 11/15/2011 at 10:17pm - misc - by anonymous - Canada (Saskatchewan)

Today, my 28-year-old brother who has been pranking me all my life, put a chocolate cupcake on my chair. I sat on it, with my white dress. On my wedding day. FML

#18004959
234 comments

I agree, your life sucks (64359) - you deserved it (3884)

On 10/17/2011 at 4:39am - misc - by cupcake_butt - United States

Today, I was chatting with a customer who comes regularly to my job. He sticks his hand out and I put my hand on his, thinking he's giving me a high five. He was just waiting for his receipt. FML

#18002643
88 comments

I agree, your life sucks (13770) - you deserved it (19153)

On 10/16/2011 at 10:50pm - work - by Kate - United States

Today, my social anxiety got so bad that I'm now afraid to add people on Facebook. FML

#17686086
146 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24639) - you deserved it (6411)

On 09/07/2011 at 1:23am - health - by pottie69 - United States (Illinois)

Today, I went shopping with my new "It's true, I'm a Ninja" shirt on. Suddenly an apple comes and hits me right in the eye. A little boy runs up to me, yells "You aren't a Ninja! A Ninja would have caught that!", and runs off. FML

#13756412
181 comments

I agree, your life sucks (20133) - you deserved it (58977)

On 11/07/2010 at 8:13pm - kids - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Texas)



FML's blog

  • FML on vacation #2: In slow-moving hell
  • It was once a dream, now it’s come true. We’re at the place that was allocated months ago for preprogrammed, enforced holiday fun time. We’ve put on some cargo shorts, slipped on some of those…

Wednesday 13 August 2014

The whole blog

FMyLife, world tour

Available on: