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f_ckml432

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f_ckml432

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  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Miss
  • Birth Date : Not specified
  • <3 status : Single
  • Number of visits : 495
  • Number of comments : 18
  • Number of FMLs : 1 confirmed out of 6 posted

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f_ckml432's page activity

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f_ckml432's favorite FMLs

Today, I was sitting in on a boring presentation at work. I yawned and shifted in my chair, accidentally sitting on my testicles. I shrieked in pain and spent the next five minutes choking back tears, while my boss told me to shut my mouth and stop fucking around. FML

#20066447
168 comments

I agree, your life sucks (19756) - you deserved it (7088)

On 09/10/2012 at 5:20pm - work - by kevcng (man) - United States

Today, I was watching some pretty intense porn on my Macbook. I unplugged the second monitor so I could lie on my bed. Instead of defaulting to the screen, Airplay somehow synced it to the living room TV, where the rest of my family was watching a movie. FML

#20052962
178 comments

I agree, your life sucks (19336) - you deserved it (47004)

On 09/01/2012 at 7:14pm - intimacy - by WhyAppleWhy (man) - United States (Florida)

Today, my dog, who has been specially trained to go for help when I'm having a seizure, went to alert my parents downstairs that I was having an emergency. The "emergency" was me masturbating. FML

#20052579
120 comments

I agree, your life sucks (33020) - you deserved it (10268)

On 09/01/2012 at 1:56pm - intimacy - by thewhompingwillow (man) - United States (Virginia)

Today, my sister, knowing that I'm terrified of his face, taped a picture of Michael Jackson over our toilet. When I entered the washroom, I sprinted back out screaming. Minutes later, while in the shower, I happened to glance up at the ceiling. Guess who was grinning down at me. FML

#19753089
174 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25966) - you deserved it (8210)

On 06/08/2012 at 12:35am - misc - by ugh - Canada (Ontario)

Today, I was on a date with a very intelligent and handsome guy. I was so nervous that when he was telling me about his twin sister, I asked him if they were identical twins. FML

#19731681
178 comments

I agree, your life sucks (14071) - you deserved it (17456)

On 06/04/2012 at 8:45am - love - by boohoo (woman) - Netherlands (Noord-Holland)

Today, I found out that my colleagues had replaced my email auto-responder with a message saying, "I'm away for two weeks in Brazil. Due to the surgery, when I return, please address me by my new name: Crystal." FML

#19710494
119 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28058) - you deserved it (2716) - Translated from the french version of FML. Bon appétit!

On 05/31/2012 at 4:19pm - love - by Monsieur-Madame (man) - France (Champagne-Ardenne)

Today, while I was on the floor stocking a bottom shelf, a man walked up behind me and humped the back of my head. He ran away laughing. This kind of shit happens all the time. I hate my job. FML

#19218186
169 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28056) - you deserved it (2525)

On 03/05/2012 at 12:12am - work - by cero_kewl - United States

Today, was the fifth night I've dreamed of brushing my teeth. I wake up about three times a night because as I spit in my dream, I actually spit on my face as I'm sleeping. FML

#18995010
94 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23116) - you deserved it (2714)

On 02/04/2012 at 7:35pm - misc - by wetdreams - Canada (Alberta)

Today, I had to explain to my boyfriend why having sex with him was like trying to pick up an overcooked noodle with an empty Pringles can. FML

#18772275
102 comments

I agree, your life sucks (13571) - you deserved it (32029)

On 01/11/2012 at 12:42am - intimacy - by bunnyluver4545 - United States (Texas)

Today, I was naked, still deciding what to wear, when the doorbell rang. I grabbed the closest thing to cover up with: my Snuggie. I answered the door, it was kids asking for donations. Without thinking, I turned around to grab my purse. FML

#18259551
157 comments

I agree, your life sucks (13832) - you deserved it (29351)

On 11/15/2011 at 10:17pm - misc - by anonymous - Canada (Saskatchewan)

Today, my 28-year-old brother who has been pranking me all my life, put a chocolate cupcake on my chair. I sat on it, with my white dress. On my wedding day. FML

#18004959
234 comments

I agree, your life sucks (65081) - you deserved it (3926)

On 10/17/2011 at 4:39am - misc - by cupcake_butt - United States

Today, I was chatting with a customer who comes regularly to my job. He sticks his hand out and I put my hand on his, thinking he's giving me a high five. He was just waiting for his receipt. FML

#18002643
88 comments

I agree, your life sucks (13806) - you deserved it (19196)

On 10/16/2011 at 10:50pm - work - by Kate - United States

Today, my social anxiety got so bad that I'm now afraid to add people on Facebook. FML

#17686086
147 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24705) - you deserved it (6416)

On 09/07/2011 at 1:23am - health - by pottie69 - United States (Illinois)

Today, I went shopping with my new "It's true, I'm a Ninja" shirt on. Suddenly an apple comes and hits me right in the eye. A little boy runs up to me, yells "You aren't a Ninja! A Ninja would have caught that!", and runs off. FML

#13756412
181 comments

I agree, your life sucks (20564) - you deserved it (59662)

On 11/07/2010 at 8:13pm - kids - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Texas)



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