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Today, I had to listen to yet another delusional fuckface at school bitch about how a girl he's interested in put him in the "friend-zone". I really couldn't focus on my work, so I tried to shut him up by saying he's an idiot, not least because she already has a boyfriend. I now have a black eye. FML
I agree, your life sucks (30128) - you deserved it (14010)
On 05/16/2013 at 4:31pm - health - by getafucktoysomewhereelsedude (man) - Canada (Ontario)
Today, I had to explain to my friend that the hot girl he's been sending nudes to and cybering with for the past month is probably a bored, fat-as-fuck, balding male living in his mum's basement. The look on his face after I proved that "her" pictures were fake broke my heart. FML
I agree, your life sucks (36305) - you deserved it (6977)
On 04/26/2013 at 7:58pm - misc - by sanoria51 (woman) - United Kingdom (London, City of)
Today, it was my wedding day. My new husband and I, for a laugh, did our first dance to LMFAO's "I'm sexy and I know it" with stupid moves and everything. 200 guests. Nobody laughed. FML
I agree, your life sucks (42146) - you deserved it (23010)
On 04/24/2013 at 6:29pm - love - by Anonymous (woman) - United Kingdom (Gloucestershire)
Today, it's my only day off work in a while. I told my boss I'd be available via phone in case of emergencies. So far I've been called three times: To ask how the fax works, to let me know it's a slow day, and to ask me where the letter R is on a keyboard. FML
I agree, your life sucks (41964) - you deserved it (4796)
On 04/19/2013 at 6:17am - work - by Anonymous - Germany (Berlin)
Today, I met my new girlfriend at her house for the very first time. And her 17 cats, whose names all begin with the letter "K", because they're all "kewl kats." FML
I agree, your life sucks (47114) - you deserved it (7547)
On 04/18/2013 at 10:37am - love - by obnum - United States
Today, I walked in on my husband eating cat food out of the cat bowl dressed in a cat costume. FML
I agree, your life sucks (45612) - you deserved it (4128)
On 04/06/2013 at 7:42am - misc - by confusedcatlover (woman) - United Kingdom (London, City of)
Today, my dad yet again uttered the words "well, that escalated quickly," while watching the news. He uses this godforsaken meme multiple times a day. I lost my shit and told him to just shut up already. He slowly turned to face me, raised an eyebrow, and said, "well, that escalated quickly." FML
I agree, your life sucks (17028) - you deserved it (45929)
On 03/30/2013 at 2:17pm - misc - by fuck you dad (man) - Ireland (Monaghan)
Today, I got dumped during sex. FML
I agree, your life sucks (53128) - you deserved it (5535)
On 03/28/2013 at 6:02am - intimacy - by Bigfatfailure (man) - United States (California)
Today, my German Shepherd decided to bark at, then attack, a painted rock. At least I know I'm protected from inanimate objects. FML
I agree, your life sucks (21225) - you deserved it (1885)
On 03/26/2013 at 5:17pm - animals - by whykarma (woman) - United States (North Carolina)
Today, four days after our fridge-freezer broke down, my husband staggered home with three bags of ham. He drunkenly bought it with most of what little money we have, so now not only is our food budget gone, we also have a metric cunt-load of ham, and nowhere to store it. FML
I agree, your life sucks (25644) - you deserved it (2646)
Today, I walked into what I thought would be a surprise birthday party. It wasn't. It was my parents staging an intervention over my cat obsession. FML
I agree, your life sucks (13637) - you deserved it (22880)
On 03/04/2013 at 3:02pm - misc - by DM - United States (Massachusetts)
Today, my mum came to my ballet class. She spent the whole lesson sitting at the back yelling at me to "stop sticking your butt out". My ballet instructor had to ask her several times to pipe down. FML
I agree, your life sucks (21015) - you deserved it (1266)
On 02/06/2013 at 1:57pm - misc - by embarassinggg (woman) - United Kingdom (East Sussex)
Today, my girlfriend found out you can use food coloring in anything. Everything she cooks is now in bright neon colors. I feel like I'm in a Dr Seuss book. FML
I agree, your life sucks (26206) - you deserved it (3970)
On 01/23/2013 at 8:44pm - misc - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Maryland)
Today, my school's theatre decided to produce Les Misérables. I got the part of Éponine. My boyfriend, being a talented performer, could have gotten any part he wanted. However, he only wanted to play the soldier responsible for killing Éponine. FML
I agree, your life sucks (24676) - you deserved it (3874)
On 01/23/2013 at 1:03pm - love - by Anonymous - United States
Today, I saw a woman breast feeding her child at the local park. That would have been just fine if the child wasn't at least 8 years old. FML
I agree, your life sucks (29142) - you deserved it (3123)
On 01/23/2013 at 3:33am - misc - by TheLastSerenade (man) - Australia (New South Wales)
Monday 20 May 2013
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