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evnflr

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evnflr

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  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Mister
  • Birth Date : Friday 15 March 1996 (18 years)
  • <3 status : Single
  • Number of visits : 1639
  • Number of comments : 12
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 10 posted

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evnflr's page activity

Visits<b>Squtchy</b> - the 06/15/2014 at 7:46pm<b>tyoung94</b> - the 05/21/2014 at 11:35pm<b>breebree893</b> - the 12/25/2013 at 3:57am<b>farhil</b> - the 12/05/2011 at 8:08pm

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evnflr's favorite FMLs

Today, my classmate commented on how quiet I am. I responded with, "Well, nobody plots murder out loud," trying to be funny. My teacher tried to get me arrested. FML

#21318752
76 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30722) - you deserved it (6018)

On 12/16/2014 at 8:54pm - work - by justjoking - United States

Today, I woke up to the lovely sounds of goats having escaped their pen and climbed onto the roof. Again. FML

Today, I got to experience the horror of my wife's pregnancy. She woke me up abruptly at 5 am by throwing up all over me due to her terrible morning sickness, then ate pickles covered in mayonnaise, and later dropped to the floor sobbing when I told her we were out of dog food. FML

#21315694
94 comments

I agree, your life sucks (33541) - you deserved it (4203)

On 12/11/2014 at 4:47pm - health - by Anonymous (man) - United States (California)

Today, my boss at my new call center job said he'd gotten complaints about me. Apparently I sound "too black" and it's "upsetting" some of our customers. I don't know what that even means, but my boss said I need to "tone it down or we're gonna have some problems". FML

#21310827
148 comments

I agree, your life sucks (35217) - you deserved it (3197)

On 12/03/2014 at 4:21pm - work - by WTF - United States (Texas)

Today, a character in the video game I was playing called my character a slut. My boyfriend ripped the controller from my hands, shot him dead, then fired the rest of my ammo into his corpse while yelling "FUCK YOU, BUDDY!" Good to know I'm dating a total lunatic. FML

#21293465
155 comments

I agree, your life sucks (33352) - you deserved it (6448)

On 11/06/2014 at 3:15pm - love - by notsofriendly (woman) - United States (Texas)

Today, I looked at my twelve-year-old daughter's test. One of the question was, "When is a good time to worry about your parents?" Her answer was, "When they take selfies, because selfies aren't made for old people." FML

#21292082
67 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30036) - you deserved it (5585)

On 11/04/2014 at 4:48pm - kids - by The Selfie Parent - Canada (Newfoundland)

Today, I hit a new low point in my life when I stole batteries from a toy at the daycare I work at, and put them in my vibrator. FML

#21286701
110 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24343) - you deserved it (32182)

On 10/27/2014 at 11:40pm - intimacy - by anonymous - United States (Indiana)

Today, my brother got upset at his video game and flung his DS at the wall, just as I was walking by. I got knocked out to the sound of someone crossing the finish line in MarioKart. FML

#21285323
68 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31558) - you deserved it (2515)

On 10/25/2014 at 11:28pm - misc - by Anonymous - United States (Oregon)

Today, my best friend and I, after years of sexual tension, began to have sex for the first time. Things got heated and he decided to abruptly stand up with me around him. I got so nervous, spazzed out, and now have 37 staples in my head courtesy of his bookshelf. FML

#21284031
73 comments

I agree, your life sucks (32733) - you deserved it (5444)

On 10/23/2014 at 9:25pm - intimacy - by anonymous - United States (New York)

Today, I found a book in my attic that I always read when I was a kid. For old times sake I read it again. On the very first page, child me had written, "Go to page 15" so I did. On page 15, in big red letters, it said, "Get bent". I got pranked by myself. FML

#21281163
57 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29513) - you deserved it (7817)

On 10/19/2014 at 3:27pm - misc - by Deadpool434 (man) - Ireland (Dublin)

Today, I walked in on my boyfriend jerking off to what I thought was porn on his phone. He was actually beating it to Siri's voice. FML

#21280577
68 comments

I agree, your life sucks (36293) - you deserved it (3431)

On 10/18/2014 at 5:43pm - intimacy - by fizzie101 - United States (California)

Today, I was at a football game with my boyfriend. I said my hands were getting cold, hoping he'd hold them. He replied, "Uh, they make pockets for a reason..." and physically showed me how to put my hands in my pockets. FML

#21280399
92 comments

I agree, your life sucks (33197) - you deserved it (6550)

On 10/18/2014 at 10:53am - love - by Anonymous - United States (Illinois)

Today, I was boxing up all my brother's old stuff to take to the attic. I came across a box, and without checking what was inside, I took it up, just to have it fall on my head, to then find out it was filled with dead baby hamsters. FML

#21276741
81 comments

I agree, your life sucks (34654) - you deserved it (3225)

On 10/13/2014 at 4:13am - animals - by MissBeyoncé - Namibia (Windhoek)

Today, I got on one knee in front of my girlfriend. I pulled out the ring, uttered the words "Lisa, will you..." then abruptly shat my pants. FML

#21271177
111 comments

I agree, your life sucks (42571) - you deserved it (5136)

On 10/05/2014 at 11:47am - love - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Virginia)

Today, my little sister had her second son. She is 31 and she named her sons after her favorite television characters, Sam and Dean Winchester. She has made it her life goal to make sure her husband never finds out. FML

#21269654
248 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30112) - you deserved it (3822)

On 10/02/2014 at 4:29pm - kids - by mykodu - Canada (Ontario)



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