![[fr]](http://cdn2.fmylife.com/fmylife/images/flag_fr_hover.gif)
![[it]](http://cdn5.fmylife.com/fmylife/images/flag_it_hover.gif)
![[es2]](http://cdn2.fmylife.com/fmylife/images/flag_es2_hover.gif)
![[tr]](http://cdn1.fmylife.com/fmylife/images/flag_tr_hover.gif)
![[de]](http://cdn3.fmylife.com/fmylife/images/flag_de_hover.gif)
![[ru]](http://cdn5.fmylife.com/fmylife/images/flag_ru_hover.gif)
![[se]](http://cdn4.fmylife.com/fmylife/images/flag_se_hover.gif)
This member hasn't filled in the description.
How depressing, no badges acquired at all. :/
Today, I was on the phone with my best guy friend, who I have loved for years. I was talking about school and all of a sudden he said "I love you." I flipped out saying "Oh my god, oh my god. I love you, too!" He responded with "what?" He was talking to his mom, who was walking out the door. FML
I agree, your life sucks (51705) - you deserved it (10822)
On 06/02/2009 at 4:51pm - love - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Massachusetts)
Today, I was walking out of my front door in the town where I intern. I live alone and know no one. As I'm locking the door, I see a golf ball wedged between my mat and step. I notice that there's writing on it so I pick it up to read, "You look hot when you sleep." FML
I agree, your life sucks (58406) - you deserved it (1882)
On 05/18/2009 at 8:04pm - misc - by emoney (woman) - United States (Michigan)
Today, I had some pretty bad stomach pain, so I went to the bathroom. After a few minutes, two girls walked in, taking stalls next to me. That's when my farts began to get very large and explosive. Not only did they break into laughter, they waited for me to come out. FML
I agree, your life sucks (59753) - you deserved it (3231)
On 05/06/2009 at 3:17pm - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (New York)
Today, my mother called me downstairs to give me what I assumed was going to be "The Talk" (About four years too late). So she sits me down, holds my hands, and with the gentlest, most motherly expression on her face tells me, "Honey, if you ever come home pregnant, I'll kill you and the baby." FML
I agree, your life sucks (91782) - you deserved it (8817)
On 04/19/2009 at 10:09pm - health - by Litterbox (woman) - United States (Texas)
Today, I was walking back to my home in the city in the dark. I'm paranoid, so when I saw movement behind me I clutched my mace. The faster I walked, the closer the person seemed to be. I spun around and sprayed my attacker with mace. It was my shadow and the wind blew the mace back into eyes. FML
I agree, your life sucks (20927) - you deserved it (59911)
On 04/16/2009 at 5:27pm - misc - by Eyesore - United States (Georgia)
Today, I had horrible pains in my stomache area so I went to the doctors. They couldn't find anything wrong and sent me to the Emergency Room for X-rays. After spending the entire day in the hospital, they tell me I'm slightly constipated. I had to pay $400 to find out I had to take a shit. FML
I agree, your life sucks (25232) - you deserved it (38327)
On 04/14/2009 at 4:40pm - misc - by blehh (man) - United States
Today, I ran to a public bathroom because of explosive diarrhea. In the middle of it, I noticed there was no more toilet paper nor paper towels remaining. The smallest bill in my wallet was a 5. I had to pay 10 dollars to wipe my own butt. FML
I agree, your life sucks (72970) - you deserved it (12568)
On 04/01/2009 at 4:16am - misc - by highleyj (man) - United States (California)
Today, while lying in bed with my girlfriend and she was grabbing the fat on my stomach I said to her "stop touching my fat". She replied "so don't touch you at all?" FML
I agree, your life sucks (42436) - you deserved it (17423)
On 03/28/2009 at 1:43am - misc - by justinherass (man) - Canada (Ontario)
Today, our school had tryouts for chorus. Everybody sang a snippet of the song together until the teacher stopped us, saying it sounded awful. He singled me out and told me to sing alone. After I sang the part, he said, "Son, your gift to God will be silence." FML
I agree, your life sucks (55997) - you deserved it (5268)
On 03/17/2009 at 7:06pm - misc - by Sebastian (man) - United States (Ohio)
Today, I was babysitting an eleven year old boy. He decided we should play with nerf guns with velcro tips. I shot him in the crotch accidentally, and the dart stuck on his pants wiggling for about a full minute before his dad walked in to find us both staring at his son's crotch, giggling. FML
I agree, your life sucks (36675) - you deserved it (9398)
On 03/09/2009 at 10:04pm - kids - by xoVioLoveox (woman) - United States (Massachusetts)
Today, I went to the hair salon to cut 6 in. off my hair. When I got there I decided to get my upper lip waxed for the first time. When my boyfriend came to pick me up for our date I asked if he noticed anything different about me, the first thing he said was "I see you got rid of you mustache." FML
I agree, your life sucks (33902) - you deserved it (7470)
On 02/23/2009 at 6:09pm - misc - by hey-o (woman) - United States (Indiana)
Today, I went to the doctor with my parents. When the doctor asked if I was sexually active, I said 'Yes.' My mom laughed and said 'Good one.' My dad, for added effect said, 'Your hand doesn't count.' FML
I agree, your life sucks (52061) - you deserved it (5011)
On 02/21/2009 at 10:16pm - intimacy - by Nails (man) - United States (Illinois)
I agree, your life sucks (31259) - you deserved it (2698)
On 02/14/2009 at 12:35pm - misc - by semi-depressed (man) - Canada (Ontario)
Today, I told my mom I was going through a growth spurt. She said "Yeah, horizontally." FML
I agree, your life sucks (21411) - you deserved it (4691)
On 02/13/2009 at 2:18pm - misc - by shorty (woman) - United States (New York)
Today, I walked past a girl in the cafeteria and she threw up. Naturally, a crowd was drawn. Her friend asked her what was wrong. She pointed at me and said, "Get him away from me!" I had never met this girl. FML
I agree, your life sucks (31038) - you deserved it (1491)
On 02/04/2009 at 11:51am - misc - by disgusting (man) - United States (Virginia)
The website: FML t-shirts -
Love - Animals - Money - Kids - Work - Health - Intimacy - Miscellaneous - Members
RSS feeds: 
Follow the FML 
Follow the FML blog 
Follow the FML comments
Go on the road: BlackBerry - Android - iPhone/iPod Touch - Windows Phone 7 - Mobile version
Give stuff to people: FML book - FML t-shirts
