Submit your FML story

  • - Concept: An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
  • - CAUTION: Read your message over. Please don't use text language and avoid making too many spelling mistakes.
  • - Please note that spam and nonsensical stories will result in you being blocked from accessing FML.
Your nick:
Categories :
Man or woman?

eternalibra

Search for a member

eternalibra
  • Town/Country : south jersey, USA
  • Title : Miss
  • Birth Date : Tuesday 4 October 1988 (25 years)
  • Number of visits : 3639
  • Number of comments : 23
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 0 posted

About eternalibra : My name is Mallory.
Users I like:
every1luvsboners
perdix
kingdingaling
pendatik
docbastard

eternalibra's last visitors

Drag0nb0rnDanny_Boy12MomentoMoribrittany2230fmlgb1625Daaaanibmike22Semperfi92340dotalover

eternalibra's FML badges

I agree, their lives suck

200 votes confirming that their life is crap. It’s what the website is all about.

The Thumb strikes back

You have left your thumbprint on 2500 comments.

Judgmental

You’ve now voted that they totally deserved it more than 100 times.

See all of eternalibra's badges

eternalibra's favorite FMLs

Today, my ex-husband officially became my step dad. FML

#19421919
386 comments

I agree, your life sucks (82648) - you deserved it (4000)

On 04/07/2012 at 4:20am - love - by ladylarni - Australia

Today, I was cleaning the windows at work and a guy walked in so I opened the door for him. After I opened the door, he stood there with his eyes closed and his arms open. I thought he wanted a hug so I hugged him. Apparently he wanted me to spray him with Windex. FML

#19409952
101 comments

I agree, your life sucks (17211) - you deserved it (2538)

On 04/05/2012 at 12:13am - work - by Kait - United States

Today, I noticed a strange lady following me around in the mall. After a while I began to get creeped out, so I confronted her. Apparently she has to make sure everything she buys is better than what I buy. After a long silence she said, "What? You never noticed me before?" FML

#19404370
114 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28494) - you deserved it (1830)

On 04/03/2012 at 11:40pm - misc - by Eliza - United States (Texas)

Today, while my boyfriend and I were getting intimate, he called me "Mom." FML

#19391637
132 comments

I agree, your life sucks (36685) - you deserved it (2744)

On 04/01/2012 at 10:18pm - intimacy - by ohgod... - Canada (Quebec)

Today, I woke up to shuffling noises coming from downstairs. Suspecting the worst, I jumped out of bed, and whispered over my shoulder for my girlfriend to stay quiet. Only after going downstairs and taking a swing in the dark with my bat did I figure out it was just my girlfriend foraging for snacks. FML

#19389998
168 comments

I agree, your life sucks (8938) - you deserved it (20533)

On 04/01/2012 at 5:36pm - misc - by Zack - United States (Pennsylvania)

Today, while on the train to university, I realized it was my stop and quickly stood up to get off. Or I would have, if my leg hadn't gone to sleep and caused me to fall, landing face first into the crotch of the old guy in front of me. FML

#19373619
71 comments

I agree, your life sucks (18624) - you deserved it (2078)

On 03/29/2012 at 11:48pm - misc - by LassieToe (woman) - Australia

Today, I learned that my mother now refuses to drink anything but bottled water because she actually believes that the government is putting a chemical in tap water that lowers pregnancy rates. She is trying for her 5th child. FML

#19372979
161 comments

I agree, your life sucks (19557) - you deserved it (1712)

On 03/29/2012 at 10:16pm - misc - by rusrs - United Kingdom

Today, I wore my new Brazilian thong bikini to the pool for the first time. I was lying face down feeling so sexy, until flies started buzzing my butt. FML

#19344343
206 comments

I agree, your life sucks (7313) - you deserved it (28353)

On 03/25/2012 at 11:34am - misc - by BookBabe (woman) - United States (California)

Today, I started a new blog that I've been planning for weeks. So far, the only comments I've received are a dozen spam links, two people correcting my grammar, and a lady telling me I'm going to burn in hell for calling the Pope a noob. FML

Today, I went down on my girlfriend for the first time. Let's just say pubes and toilet paper residue were the least of my problems. FML

#19330918
322 comments

I agree, your life sucks (43684) - you deserved it (4210)

On 03/23/2012 at 1:55am - intimacy - by mrricecakes (man) - United States (Arizona)

Today, I woke up to the faint memory of being drunk enough to draw dicks on my own face in permanent marker. FML

#19312458
77 comments

I agree, your life sucks (4947) - you deserved it (27259)

On 03/20/2012 at 4:16am - misc - by argh (man) - United States (Texas)

Today, I had a conversation with another patient in my gyno's waiting room. It was about her getting pregnant in a truck while passed out drunk, her therapist's frequent use of a "For Dummies" books, and how she had waxed and oiled everything to impress our doctor. FML

#19306262
94 comments

I agree, your life sucks (17238) - you deserved it (1940)

On 03/19/2012 at 6:37am - misc - by PatientInWaiting (woman) - United States

Today, I have been left home alone, the electricity has cut out, and I am petrified of the dark. I am stuck downstairs making karate noises every few minutes to scare off creepers. FML

#19292918
153 comments

I agree, your life sucks (19280) - you deserved it (11100)

On 03/17/2012 at 8:45am - misc - by belieber101 - United Kingdom (Bedfordshire)

Today, my girlfriend called and said she had great news. Turns out I've cured her of that illness she gets every month. FML

#19276120
248 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27399) - you deserved it (17376)

On 03/14/2012 at 3:51am - misc - by daddy-o - United States (Utah)

Today, my girlfriend and I agreed to tell her parents that she's pregnant. When they started freaking out, instead of dealing with the situation maturely, she went into straight-up Tard Mode and said, "It's okay, I'm not the mom." FML

#19264126
178 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25988) - you deserved it (5669)

On 03/12/2012 at 12:27pm - love - by yamsterr (man) - United States



Bénédicte's illustrated FML

The Artist's interview

All illustrated FMLs

FML's blog

  • Bénédicte's Illustrated FML
  • "If drawing stuff is the food of love, then get a better pencil." That's not a real expression, I just made it up because I needed a good opening line. It's not even that good of an opening line, but…

Thursday 10 April 2014

The whole blog

FMyLife, world tour

Available on: