Submit your FML story

  • - Concept: An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
  • - CAUTION: Read your message over. Please don't use text language and avoid making too many spelling mistakes.
  • - Please note that spam and nonsensical stories will result in you being blocked from accessing FML.
Your nick:
Categories :
Man or woman?

eternalibra

Search for a member

eternalibra

0Liked!

  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Miss
  • Birth Date : Tuesday 4 October 1988 (25 years)
  • <3 status : Not specified
  • Number of visits : 4263
  • Number of comments : 23
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 0 posted

About eternalibra : My name is Mallory.
Users I like:
every1luvsboners
perdix
kingdingaling
pendatik
docbastard

eternalibra's page activity

Visits<b>punter123</b> - the 07/29/2014 at 7:35am<b>Rizzen</b> - the 06/06/2014 at 9:37am<b>FindingYujin</b> - the 05/04/2014 at 3:27am<b>Morticia</b> - the 04/24/2014 at 10:27pm<b>anoneemoose</b> - the 04/19/2014 at 9:25am<b>Drag0nb0rn</b> - the 04/13/2014 at 8:37pm<b>Danny_Boy12</b> - the 04/07/2014 at 10:41pm<b>dre82</b> - the 02/13/2014 at 7:03am<b>MomentoMori</b> - the 02/07/2014 at 5:40am<b>brittany2230</b> - the 02/02/2014 at 8:48am<b>Daaaan</b> - the 01/22/2014 at 4:50pm<b>aishaa1</b> - the 01/16/2014 at 11:24pm<b>gsaturnglow</b> - the 01/04/2014 at 7:55pm<b>ibmike22</b> - the 12/28/2013 at 4:16pm<b>Semperfi92340</b> - the 12/28/2013 at 8:20am<b>dotalover</b> - the 12/28/2013 at 4:29am<b>Paradoxxxx</b> - the 12/27/2013 at 9:18pm<b>saocrates</b> - the 12/27/2013 at 4:57pm

eternalibra's FML badges

YDI master

That was your 500th “you totally deserved it” vote. We admire your dedication.

I agree, their lives suck

200 votes confirming that their life is crap. It’s what the website is all about.

The Thumb strikes back

You have left your thumbprint on 2500 comments.

See all of eternalibra's badges

eternalibra's favorite FMLs

Today, I was diagnosed with pneumonia. My breathing is short and heavy, and I wanted my boyfriend to comfort me. Instead, he called me Darth Vader, patted me on the head, and said, "Don't worry, the Force will be with you." FML

#20192329
127 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21445) - you deserved it (3711)

On 12/05/2012 at 12:55pm - health - by Emily - United States (Massachusetts)

Today, after having sex, my girlfriend left my apartment after furiously ranting at me, because I made her come "too many times" and that it's "unfair" to her. What? FML

Today, I had the best sex of our relationship with my boyfriend. Afterwards, he took off his condom, looked me sweetly in the eyes for a few moments, then decided to slap me in the face with it. FML

#20168405
140 comments

I agree, your life sucks (37960) - you deserved it (5655)

On 11/18/2012 at 5:53pm - intimacy - by besviken (woman) - Sweden (Uppsala Lan)

Today, I received my first ever hand-job. It would have been great if she didn't wipe it across my face when I had finished and storm out of the room. FML

Today, a homeless man asked me for some money to eat. He ate the five dollars I gave him. FML

#20161582
133 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24623) - you deserved it (3666)

On 11/13/2012 at 6:34am - money - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Pennsylvania)

Today, I was working at the checkout of a nearly empty store, so I picked up an empty box, closed my eyes, and slow-danced with it to the 80s love ballad playing on the radio. I don't know what's worse, dancing with a box, or opening my eyes to see ten or so wary customers waiting to be served. FML

#20161561
84 comments

I agree, your life sucks (6980) - you deserved it (29000)

On 11/13/2012 at 5:23am - work - by foreveralone (woman) - Australia (New South Wales)

Today, I went to see a movie with three of my friends, and I was sharing popcorn with one of them. Halfway through the movie, my friend asked me why I wasn't eating our popcorn. I then realised I'd been taking popcorn from the man sitting next to me. FML

#20160393
83 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25141) - you deserved it (7530)

On 11/12/2012 at 12:27pm - misc - by mm (woman) - United Kingdom (Warrington)

Today, I woke up after a night of drinking to find that while I was passed out someone stole my prosthetic leg. FML

#20160279
142 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30915) - you deserved it (5751)

On 11/12/2012 at 10:10am - health - by poserpilot - United States (California)

Today, I watched my neighbor shake cat food calling, "Come here Mollie" at his back door. I then saw my own cat run into his house. I now know why my cat is so fat and never replies to me calling her Bonnie. I guess I'm being cheated on. FML

#20158567
127 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23887) - you deserved it (2470)

On 11/11/2012 at 5:10am - animals - by kitty - Australia

Today, I delivered a pizza to a guy so high out of his mind that I had to let myself in and set it down on a table, because he'd forgotten how to walk, and was on the ground sobbing. FML

#20157750
197 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24653) - you deserved it (1774)

On 11/10/2012 at 4:14pm - misc - by anon - United States (Washington)

Today, I found a limp head of celery in the fridge. I thought it looked like the squid alien baby from Men in Black. After nursing it for a couple of hours, giving it food, and rocking it to sleep, my parents found me. Then I realised it was just celery. Too bad it took that long for my meds to kick in. FML

#20151986
117 comments

I agree, your life sucks (19553) - you deserved it (6368)

On 11/07/2012 at 12:11am - misc - by Squid (woman) - Australia (New South Wales)

Today, at work my boss called me into his office because he had received multiple complaints from coworkers about a prank sound machine I have been using to make inappropriate fart sounds at my desk. I wish it was a fart machine; I have a condition. FML

#20122062
74 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21508) - you deserved it (2006)

On 10/18/2012 at 2:33am - work - by Anonymous (man) - Canada (Ontario)

Today, my 6-year-old son pooped in the back yard and used a stick to throw it over the fence into my neighbor's yard. FML

#20109382
122 comments

I agree, your life sucks (19924) - you deserved it (3155)

On 10/09/2012 at 6:56pm - kids - by fionnathehuman - United States

Today, my boyfriend learned how to somersault. He now thinks that he's a ninja and somersaults into every room. FML

#20105538
177 comments

I agree, your life sucks (19551) - you deserved it (4189)

On 10/07/2012 at 10:20am - love - by justabitembarrassed - United States (Ohio)

Today, I finally got my hands on the new iPhone 5, after I pulled it out of a patient's rectum. FML

#20098468
392 comments

I agree, your life sucks (32917) - you deserved it (2524)

On 10/02/2012 at 3:39pm - health - by Anonymous - United States (Washington)



FML's blog

  • FML on vacation #1: Getting there
  • A lot of people will spout off the tired old cliché that the destination isn't as important as the journey itself. Well, what if you're on your way to the Playboy Mansion then?…

Tuesday 22 July 2014

The whole blog

FMyLife, world tour

Available on: