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About eternalibra : My name is Mallory.
Users I like:
every1luvsboners
perdix
kingdingaling
pendatik
docbastard
How depressing, no badges acquired at all. :/
Today, I read an article on babies dying after being accidentally left in cars in the sun. On my lunch break, I decided to walk around the parking lot, checking to see that no kids were abandoned in cars. A guy gave me a smack for looking through his car window. FML
I agree, your life sucks (1668) - you deserved it (8730)
On 05/21/2012 at 10:59am - misc - by whytoday -
Today, my colleague yet again misused the word "literally." It's driving me insane. I have to work opposite him and hear him say things like he's just "literally shit himself inside out." FML
I agree, your life sucks (5307) - you deserved it (1164)
On 05/21/2012 at 10:11am - work - by Rebecca (woman) - United States (Texas)
Today, my boyfriend and I went mini golfing with his family. We had a competition going on, and when I managed to get two consecutive holes in one, he started seething and muttered that I'm dangerously close to becoming single. FML
I agree, your life sucks (5946) - you deserved it (635)
On 05/20/2012 at 2:20pm - misc - by Jacquelinez (woman) - United States
Today, I went to the beach. While I was enjoying the sun, an old man with prosthetic leg and no clothes on sat next to me. He took off his fake leg and put it behind his head. Then he opened his legs revealing his "stuff." I will never unsee this. Ever. FML
I agree, your life sucks (6806) - you deserved it (629)
On 05/09/2012 at 12:54am - misc - by aligator1009 - United States
Today, I was at the gym trying to impress a hot girl, so I put an extra 30 pounds on the bar, I lowered, pushed... and pooped. FML
I agree, your life sucks (3294) - you deserved it (10710)
On 05/04/2012 at 8:49am - health - by authorsubmit - United States
Today, while at work as a cashier, I tried to be sweet and ID an elderly man buying a bottle of wine. He responded by calling me a "blind-ass bitch" and calling my manager for "harassing" him. FML
I agree, your life sucks (3556) - you deserved it (6213)
On 04/30/2012 at 5:24am - work - by zomg - United States (Florida)
Today, my wife woke me up by giving my erect penis a Chinese burn. FML
I agree, your life sucks (6308) - you deserved it (681)
On 04/28/2012 at 12:42am - intimacy - by poo4brains - New Zealand (Canterbury)
Today, I was worried about my brother because he said that his new medication was making him hallucinate. I told him he should see a doctor right away. He said it was fine and that he had already seen a doctor. I later found out the doctor he was talking about was a hallucination. FML
I agree, your life sucks (6745) - you deserved it (651)
On 04/27/2012 at 4:22am - health - by PickedOff (woman) - United States
Today, I walked into a public restroom to find that they had set up a free health clinic for the homeless; by that I mean that I found one bum inspecting and cleaning the infected, bloody genitals of another bum. FML
I agree, your life sucks (5415) - you deserved it (602)
On 04/26/2012 at 8:08am - intimacy - by Anonymous - United States (Indiana)
Today, I yet again heard a friend say "YOLO" as if it's a word. It was so annoying that I had to restrain myself from punching him in the face and offering him the chance to suck on one of my turds, since apparently "YOLO." FML
I agree, your life sucks (4928) - you deserved it (1246)
On 04/24/2012 at 12:44am - misc - by Anonymous - United States
Today, I saw a picture of a dude on a Harley on my friend's wall. I asked her if it was Dog the bounty hunter. It wasn't, it was her aunt. FML
I agree, your life sucks (5180) - you deserved it (1188)
On 04/23/2012 at 10:12pm - misc - by GogoTheGreat - United States (Texas)
Today, I was trolling in a chat room when someone said, quote: "He's just a no-life, unemployed loser still living in his mom's basement. Probably spends all day stroking his tiny dong and fantasizing about having a real girlfriend." I actually started crying because it was so accurate. FML
I agree, your life sucks (9182) - you deserved it (30485)
On 04/23/2012 at 6:06pm - misc - by pathetic (man) - Poland (Mazowieckie)
Today, it was my wedding day. With my best friend as the priest, she asked, "Do you take this man to be your lawfully wedded husband?" After saying I do, she then turned to him and asked, "Do you want to bang my friend?" Everyone laughed, except my already disapproving father. FML
I agree, your life sucks (7279) - you deserved it (1148)
On 04/23/2012 at 12:04am - love - by gottalovefriends - United States (New Hampshire)
Today, my girlfriend dragged me along to one of her family's paintball matches. Her father is a former marine, and hates my guts. He kept going well out of his way to hunt me down and pump as many rounds into me as possible without causing a scene. FML
I agree, your life sucks (7308) - you deserved it (906)
On 04/20/2012 at 10:48pm - love - by fuck (man) - United States (Georgia)
Today, my friend was waiting outside the store while I bought a newspaper. Through the window, I saw two guys getting physical with him, so I went outside and they took off. I muttered, "Yeah, I thought so." They then turned around and beat the crap out of us. FML
I agree, your life sucks (12204) - you deserved it (12771)
On 04/20/2012 at 6:55pm - health - by burr415 (man) - Sweden (Stockholms Lan)
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