Submit your FML story

  • - Concept: An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
  • - CAUTION: Read your message over. Please don't use text language and avoid making too many spelling mistakes.
  • - Please note that spam and nonsensical stories will result in you being blocked from accessing FML.
Your nick:
Categories :
Man or woman?

esp_superstar

Offline (the 09/21/2014 at 2:43am) | Search for a member

esp_superstar

0Liked!

  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Not specified
  • Birth Date : Not specified
  • <3 status : Not specified
  • Number of visits : 2350
  • Number of comments : 14
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 2 posted

This member hasn't filled in the description.

esp_superstar's page activity

Visits<b>Fidge86</b> - the 02/27/2014 at 7:37pm

esp_superstar's FML badges

Up and coming moderator

It’s nice of you to help us sort out the submissions, using FML’s moderate feature.

Judgmental

You’ve now voted that they totally deserved it more than 100 times.

Why am I up so early?

You commented on an FML between 6 and 7 am.

See all of esp_superstar's badges

esp_superstar's favorite FMLs

Today, I used the staff toilets at school. As I sat down, I heard a sudden plop, followed by the stench of diarrhoea from the next cubicle. It was followed by a "I do apologise!" It was my English teacher. And we continued to chat. FML

#16575897
86 comments

I agree, your life sucks (32808) - you deserved it (6870)

On 06/09/2011 at 9:22am - health - by IPityTheStool (woman) - United Kingdom (London)

Today, I learned that if I don't give my mom attention immediately after she calls my name, she will throw a baseball at me. FML

#16504841
116 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30763) - you deserved it (9963)

On 06/04/2011 at 9:10pm - misc - by wooowmom (man) - Canada (Alberta)

Today, I had to blow up an air mattress using only my lungs. After nearly passing out from lack of oxygen, I realized there was a hole in it. FML

#16454876
76 comments

I agree, your life sucks (20356) - you deserved it (25815)

On 06/01/2011 at 5:21pm - misc - by ven980 - United States (Oklahoma)

Today, I was giving my boyfriend a handjob for the first time. It took ages for him to get excited, and in the end the only thing that blew up was him, saying, "Oh my god, just stop it already." FML

#16378001
292 comments

I agree, your life sucks (39341) - you deserved it (17270)

On 05/27/2011 at 9:04pm - intimacy - by valerie - United States (Texas)

Today, I contacted my biological father, after not speaking to him for some years, as we had a very strained relationship. I received an automated response. It's probably the best conversation we have ever had. FML

#16328382
76 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26486) - you deserved it (3098)

On 05/24/2011 at 2:28pm - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United Kingdom

Today, I was riding my long board. A few feet from me an attractive girl was riding one too, in the same direction. We made eye contact right as I slammed into a light pole. She then fell because she was laughing so hard. FML

#16136002
152 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31050) - you deserved it (8953)

On 05/11/2011 at 10:01pm - love - by TheNerd (man) - United States (California)

Today, I made a cup of tea at work. Whilst talking to a work mate I took a sip of the tea which I had forgotten was boiling hot and laughed at the same time, causing it to come out of my nose. I have blistered my whole mouth and even burnt my nostrils. FML

#16104583
119 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28501) - you deserved it (9565)

On 05/09/2011 at 1:23pm - misc - by Username - China

Today, I actually heard my 14 year old son muse to himself, "If I can drive drunk in Grand Theft Auto, how hard could it be in real life?" FML

#15935332
357 comments

I agree, your life sucks (39104) - you deserved it (12190)

On 04/26/2011 at 3:20pm - kids - by nomorexbox - United States (Georgia)

Today, I dreamed that I was kidnapped by Charlie Sheen. FML

#15912541
302 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31079) - you deserved it (11510)

On 04/24/2011 at 9:10pm - misc - by woahitbechels - United States (Tennessee)

Today, I was on train when an attractive girl got on. There were no free seats and seeing as how my stop was next, I gave her mine. As soon as I did, the train came to an immediate halt, due to "brake problems". I spent the next 40 minutes standing up. FML

#15870372
130 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27767) - you deserved it (11686)

On 04/21/2011 at 5:30am - misc - by Anonymous - Australia (Victoria)

Today, I woke up with my eye swollen half shut. To spare the embarrassment, I asked my mom if I could stay home from school. She said no, but also attempted to make me feel better by saying that with my eye, my acne was unnoticeable. FML

#15796030
58 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30103) - you deserved it (2799)

On 04/15/2011 at 3:13pm - health - by madi - United States (California)

Today, I was cleaning my bathroom, and accidentally spilled bleach, ruining my shower curtain, rugs, and towels. While attempting to wipe up the bleach, I knocked over a bottle of shower cleaner. It read, "WARNING: DO NOT MIX WITH BLEACH." I still can't go in the house. FML

#15657358
125 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30248) - you deserved it (10275)

On 04/05/2011 at 9:52pm - misc - by troublewithbleach (woman) - United States (Utah)

Today, my girlfriend called me and asked what I was doing. I replied, "What I'm always doing." She couldn't think of anything besides eating. FML

#15621344
73 comments

I agree, your life sucks (11941) - you deserved it (29281)

On 04/03/2011 at 1:39pm - misc - by Anonymous (man) - United States (New Jersey)

Today, I found out that my dog is so lazy, she doesn't even get out of my bed in the morning to poop. FML

#15591569
100 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31503) - you deserved it (6353)

On 04/01/2011 at 5:12pm - animals - by poopybed - United States (Illinois)

Today, I woke up to a beautiful sunrise, the smell of bacon in a frying pan, and some dickhead trying to pick the lock on my front door. FML



Zach Stafford's illustrated FML

The Artist's interview

All illustrated FMLs

FML's blog

  • Zach's illustrated FML
  • Everybody's talking about Ebola at the moment. I have trouble keeping up with the latest trends. I'm going to wait until Christmas and see what special offers turn up in the shops, under funky new names…

Friday 17 October 2014

The whole blog

FMyLife, world tour

Available on: