esp_superstar

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Offline (the 09/23/2015 at 9:06am)

esp_superstar

0Fucked!

  • Town/Country : Not specified
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  • Birth Date : Not specified
  • <3 status : Not specified
  • Number of visits : 4441
  • Number of comments : 14
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 2 posted

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esp_superstar's page activity

Visits<b>Rolz14</b> - the 12/17/2015 at 1:37am<b>Fidge86</b> - the 02/27/2014 at 7:37pm

esp_superstar's FML badges

Up and coming moderator

It’s nice of you to help us sort out the submissions, using FML’s moderate feature.

Judgmental

You’ve now voted that they totally deserved it more than 100 times.

Why am I up so early?

You commented on an FML between 6 and 7 am.

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esp_superstar's favorite FMLs

Today, I came home crying after my boyfriend dumped me for another girl. My dad told me to come tell him what was wrong. I sat down and let it all out, after which he looked up from his book, into my eyes, and gave me his loving advice: "Just cry about it and move on to another bastard." FML

by bastard magnet / 10/02/2011 at 6:14pm / United States (California) / Love

Today, at work while on the toilet, somebody came into the stall next to me and gave a loud play by play of every fart, plop, and grunt. He then asked loudly who I was and when I didn't answer put his head under the stall to look at me. FML

by Anonymous / 09/26/2011 at 2:52pm / United States / Work

Today, I went to Walmart to pick up some groceries. When I came out, the front end of my car was crushed in. On the window was a note only saying "Sorry I bumped into your car." FML

by This Guy / 09/26/2011 at 1:18pm / United States / Money

Today, while waiting in line at Gamestop, another customer and the cashier started chatting about how Pokémon is for kids, and anyone over 10 who's into it is weird. Embarrassed, I put the new Pokémon game back on the shelf and snuck out of the store. FML

by Anonymous / 09/25/2011 at 3:18pm / United States (Illinois) / Miscellaneous

Today, while I was on the bus, my foot fell asleep. When we arrived at my stop, I stood up and limped to the front of the bus. As I walked down the steps, I tripped, fell, and smashed my nose into the ground. The driver just laughed and drove away. FML

by Anonymous / 09/21/2011 at 11:41pm / United States (Missouri) / Transportation

Today, I woke up in the middle of the night feeling sick. I went to the bathroom and knelt in front of the toilet, waiting to throw up. When I finally did, I violently shit my pants at the same time. I was at my friend's house. FML

by sadddddd / 09/10/2011 at 9:54pm / Canada (New Brunswick) / Health

Today, I had to take my dog to the vet for him to be put to sleep. I could feel the cold, hard shaft of irony slide its way up my ass and slowly fuck me senseless with every step I took on this beautiful National Dog Day. FML

by Anonymous / 08/26/2011 at 1:49pm / United States / Animals

Today, I came in to work looking very tan. I took Friday off to go to a friend's funeral, which was outdoors, and I tan very easily. Now my boss and everyone else thinks I lied about my friend's death to get off work on a Friday. FML

by waytootan / 08/22/2011 at 4:34pm / United States (District of Columbia) / Work

Today, my 4 year old asked to go outside and play in the sprinkler. I told him not right now because I was busy and he's too little to play outside by himself. I came out of the laundry room later to find he'd brought the sprinkler in the house and turned the water on. At least he listened. FML

by Anonymous / 08/20/2011 at 10:08am / United States / Kids

Today, my girlfriend sexted me for the first time in months. Half way through reading it I was getting kind of hot. Then I found a spelling mistake and all I could think to do was correct her. She won't talk to me. FML

by KiDCuSHi / 08/20/2011 at 12:58am / Canada (Ontario) / Intimacy

Today, I wanted to show my teenage daughter what we did when I was her age. We used to breakdance, so I stuck on a Grandmaster Flash track, and tried some old moves on the living room floor. I spun out of control, smacked my head into a wall and pulled a back muscle. FML

by Anonymous / 08/19/2011 at 3:13am / United States (New York) / Money

Today, I bought a $300 gym membership that gives me access to the company's non-premium gyms. The non-premium gyms are all closed due to construction, because they're being turned into premium gyms. FML

by juanjohnfml / 08/11/2011 at 4:17am / United States (California) / Money

Today, I bought a $300 gym membership that gives me access to the company's non-premium gyms. The non-premium gyms are all closed due to construction, because they're being turned into premium gyms. FML

by juanjohnfml / 08/11/2011 at 4:17am / United States (California) / Money

Today, my boss became very angry over her own mistake on a spreadsheet. She lashed out by throwing a can of SpaghettiOs at my head. FML

by Liz / 08/10/2011 at 10:21pm / United States / Work

Today, my boyfriend leaned over and sniffed me like a dog. He does this almost every day, even in front of people sometimes. FML

by Username / 08/10/2011 at 8:36am / United States / Love