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Judgmental
You’ve now voted that they totally deserved it more than 100 times.
Why am I up so early?
You commented on an FML between 6 and 7 am.
Hard at Work
Voting on an FML from the Work category on a Monday between 8 and 9am, how ironic.
Today, I was working my job as the person who checks people in at the gym. A sweaty chubby woman came up to me complaining about how our staff seems so fit. I replied with "we like to hire people who have bodies that motivate our clients!" She gave a blank stare, then said "so how did you get the job?" FML
I agree, your life sucks (47367) - you deserved it (11121)
On 03/15/2009 at 12:32am - work - by Bubbah (woman) - United States (Pennsylvania)
Today, I was at a dance. I was griding with this guy when I felt something move in his pants. I stood up and stepped away. He replied with "Don't flatter yourself, it was my phone". FML
I agree, your life sucks (16961) - you deserved it (41510)
On 03/09/2009 at 8:26pm - misc - by Joe (woman) - Canada (Ontario)
Today, these kids in my math class told me to ask this girl if I could lick her clit. I basically yelled 'what's a clit'? Everyone looked at me. I'm a senior in high school, no one has yet to explain it to me. I had to google it when i got home. FML
I agree, your life sucks (31080) - you deserved it (65754)
On 03/09/2009 at 7:29pm - intimacy - by danmarino (man) - United States (Rhode Island)
Today, I was driving down the road when I got to a red light. I looked over and saw a hot chick in a convertible so I spoke to my window thinking she couldn't hear me "Hey girl, I may have a tiny dick but I make up for it in speed and stamina." She looked over. I forgot about the sunroof. FML
I agree, your life sucks (6026) - you deserved it (64981)
On 03/08/2009 at 12:36am - intimacy - by Smash_Mouth - United States (Florida)
Today, I went to the ER for severe pain in my abdominal area. The doctor comes in after looking at the CT scan and says, "Well it's not your appendix." Thinking I'm in the clear I say, "That's Awesome", the doctor then responded with "It's probably your testicles." FML
I agree, your life sucks (50205) - you deserved it (1598)
On 03/06/2009 at 7:43pm - health - by 06SuFi (man) - United States (North Carolina)
Today, it is my twin sisters and my birthday. We both wanted a day at the spa for our birthday. My sister got a gift certificate to the spa, while I got mouthwash and a $20 gift card to Target. My mom said it would cost too much to make me pretty also. FML
I agree, your life sucks (93456) - you deserved it (3752)
On 03/04/2009 at 4:48pm - misc - by Kensie (woman) - United States (Washington)
Today, I slipped on the ice in front of my apartment, spraining my ankle and cracking a rib. While I laid on the ground immediately after, my neighbor chewed me out for saying "shit" in front of her 4-year-old on my way down. FML
I agree, your life sucks (51568) - you deserved it (2274)
On 03/04/2009 at 12:03pm - misc - by stupidneighbor (man) - United States (Wisconsin)
Today, my boyfriend asked me what I enjoyed most about the weekend we'd spent together. I mention in detail a certain move he had pulled when we made love. When asked what he enjoyed most, he replies "putting my fish tank together". FML
I agree, your life sucks (37460) - you deserved it (4387)
On 03/03/2009 at 12:55am - misc - by lucy (woman) - United States (Missouri)
Today, my husband dropped me off at work. Ten minutes later I got a text saying "I just dropped the b*tch off I'll be there in a few baby, miss you". I asked him about it. He said, "I don't know what you're talking about, Megan". My name isn't Megan. Not even close. FML
I agree, your life sucks (989710) - you deserved it (78776)
On 02/28/2009 at 6:10am - love - by thatsucks (woman) - United Kingdom (Nottinghamshire)
Today, I had a performance evaluation meeting with my boss. He told me I was the best in my department, and that the productivity has never been higher before I started working here. Oh, and he said that because everything is working so well, they don't need me as much, so he's cutting my hours. FML
I agree, your life sucks (47060) - you deserved it (1754)
On 02/26/2009 at 12:05pm - work - by lolgarbl (man) - United States (California)
Today, I called the florist and ordered a flower arrangement for my grandma, who I was told was sick. I said I didn't know what to get her, so just to send her something nice. I got a call from my mom calling me an inconsiderate bastard. They sent my grandma forget-me-nots. She has Alzheimers. FML
I agree, your life sucks (37994) - you deserved it (5894)
On 02/23/2009 at 9:22pm - misc - by Originality18 (man) - United States (Michigan)
Today, I went to get my blood drawn for the first time. After I explained to the nurse how nervous I was, she replied, "Oh honey, don't worry! This is my first time too!" FML
I agree, your life sucks (41133) - you deserved it (1898)
On 02/20/2009 at 9:37pm - health - by trackgurl (woman) - United States (Connecticut)
Today, I saw an elderly man fall in a crosswalk, so I jumped off my bike to help. As I helped him across, the light turned green. I then watched across a 6 lane street as someone stole my bike. FML
I agree, your life sucks (650984) - you deserved it (12041)
On 02/20/2009 at 3:29am - misc - by Mick (man) - United States (Colorado)
Today, I was feeling really upset and called my boyfriend. He said "Can you feel upset a little later? I'm watching a movie." FML
I agree, your life sucks (33844) - you deserved it (4728)
On 02/18/2009 at 3:35pm - love - by noname (woman) - United States (District of Columbia)
Today, I was complaining to my mom about how my sister looked like a barbie doll next to me. I was saying how she was so tan and her hair looked awesome next to mine. She paused for a while and then said "Well you're pretty on the inside." FML
I agree, your life sucks (26276) - you deserved it (6194)
On 02/16/2009 at 6:57pm - misc - by Dasani (woman) - United States (California)
Monday 20 May 2013
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