erynys

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Offline (the 08/31/2014 at 7:46pm)

erynys

0Fucked!

  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Mister
  • Birth Date : Tuesday 9 November 1982 (33 years old)
  • <3 status : Not specified
  • Number of visits : 7275
  • Number of comments : 0
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 2 posted

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erynys's page activity

Visits<b>katherhinooo</b> - the 08/10/2014 at 9:50pm<b>winchestinalock</b> - the 08/08/2014 at 11:09am<b>Mons</b> - the 08/07/2014 at 11:42pm<b>BBlah</b> - the 08/04/2014 at 4:32am<b>Ayezed</b> - the 07/31/2014 at 6:30pm<b>Mahak1099</b> - the 07/18/2014 at 4:56pm<b>who_else00</b> - the 06/18/2014 at 2:09am<b>aha_awkward_</b> - the 05/10/2014 at 5:10pm<b>BumbleChick</b> - the 04/30/2014 at 9:30pm<b>alijo1414</b> - the 04/15/2014 at 12:02pm<b>HowieDoIt</b> - the 03/29/2014 at 10:53am<b>NatsuD</b> - the 03/16/2014 at 9:18am<b>Toutejulie</b> - the 02/28/2014 at 5:49pm<b>angelitared</b> - the 02/21/2014 at 11:09pm<b>RockUntilYouDie</b> - the 02/20/2014 at 6:09am<b>Hammer6</b> - the 02/13/2014 at 7:04am<b>MxAxRxCxO</b> - the 02/09/2014 at 12:25pm<b>QuixoticFox</b> - the 01/30/2014 at 2:28am

erynys's FML badges

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Keen reader – Level: master ninja

You have voted for 50% of the entire collection of FMLs to date.

Keen reader – Level: student ninja

You have voted for 15% of the entire collection of FMLs to date.

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erynys's favorite FMLs

Today, I was told I looked like Beaker from the Muppets. After doing a side-by-side comparison, I realized it's true. FML

by cjgreer70 / 01/18/2014 at 6:09pm / United States (Oregon) / Miscellaneous

Today, while I was fooling around with my girlfriend, she hurt her hand. It obviously wasn't very serious, so I told her to stop faking it. She responded, "Wanna know what I actually fake? My orgasms." FML

by Anonymous / 01/18/2014 at 5:55pm / United States (New Jersey) / Intimacy

Today, I bought a new, expensive dress for a date. I left the tag on and hidden in hopes of returning it later. Someone saw it and ripped it off for me to "save me from embarrassment." FML

by unicorn_skies / 01/18/2014 at 3:33am / United States (California) / Money

Today, I shut one of my breasts in my car door. FML

by Anonymous / 01/18/2014 at 1:29am / United States (Colorado) / Miscellaneous

Today, I went to get my first tattoo. Before we started, the tattooist told me to just relax and embrace the pain. I guess I did that too well; I kept getting an erection throughout. FML

by sausages / 01/17/2014 at 3:56pm / Macedonia (Karpos) / Health

Today, it was my first day at my new school. I've never been the new girl before, so I asked my best friend for advice. She said, "Whatever you do, do not, under any circumstances, be yourself." FML

by Anonymous / 01/15/2014 at 8:57pm / United States (Pennsylvania) / Miscellaneous

Today, my students unanimously agreed, in front of me, that the only reason they take my course is to look at my ass. FML

by jseid2 / 01/15/2014 at 12:54am / United States (California) / Intimacy

Today, the sewage pipe busted on the side of our house, spew fecal matter and the condoms I recently flushed. My parents now refuse to talk to me, and won't let my girlfriend anywhere near the house. FML

by ===== / 01/14/2014 at 12:59pm / Pakistan (Sindh) / Miscellaneous

Today, I was laying down with my girlfriend, when she asked me if I'd ever been kicked in the junk. I awkwardly said no, and she replied, "Well maybe that should change." while rubbing my shoulder lovingly. I'm scared. FML

by Anonymous / 01/14/2014 at 11:15am / United Kingdom (Cheshire) / Health

Today, as I was taking out the trash, I spotted my cute neighbor doing the same. In a rush to get out before he went back inside, I slipped on my iced-over porch. I passed out and woke up with a note on my chest saying, "I unlocked your door but you were too heavy to drag inside". FML

by rholt / 01/14/2014 at 1:48am / United States (Kansas) / Miscellaneous

Today, I went to the doctor, only to find out I can no longer eat chocolate, my favorite food. When I got home, my boyfriend took the chocolate cake I'd been eating from the fridge, sat down in front of me, and ate the whole thing without breaking eye contact. FML

by foreveralone / 01/12/2014 at 8:00pm / United States (Illinois) / Health

Today, I was walking home from a horrible day at work, when some idiot emptied a trashcan on my head from his apartment balcony. He cried "Oh shit!" and apologized because I wasn't his intended target. FML

by Anonymous / 01/12/2014 at 12:28pm / United States (Massachusetts) / Miscellaneous

Today, after his sixth beer, my dad looked me in the eye and said "I've never forgiven you for what you did to your mother's vagina". FML

by Anonymous / 01/12/2014 at 1:38am / Australia (Queensland) / Miscellaneous

Today, my fiancé texted me, saying he'd been masturbating to pictures of me. I told him that I couldn't wait to get home and take care of him. He replied, "Nah, don't bother, I got this." Now I'm horny and sad. FML

by Anonymous / 01/09/2014 at 12:59pm / United States (Missouri) / Intimacy

Today, I had to explain to one of my high school students that the importance of Pearl Harbor was not, in fact, because the Japanese stole the US pearl supply. FML

by tpj24 / 01/07/2014 at 7:00pm / United States (Iowa) / Work