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erynys

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erynys
  • Town/Country : Gainesville, USA
  • Title : Mister
  • Birth Date : Tuesday 9 November 1982 (31 years)
  • Number of visits : 1736
  • Number of comments : 0
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 2 posted

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erynys's favorite FMLs

Today, my girlfriend was spending the day at my place. Later on, I walked in while she was making lunch. She had a jar of mayo in her hand, and I joked, "I have some mayo, but it doesn't come from a jar." She had a bluetooth headset on, and was in a call with her father. 5ML

#21037484
81 comments

I agree, your life sucks (36985) - you deserved it (20300)

On 01/23/2014 at 7:10pm - intimacy - by Anonymous - United States (Alabama)

Today, my husband and I are sick. He keeps whining about how bad he feels. I'm just as sick, as well as 7 months pregnant. I've not only been taking care of his whiny ass: I've cooked, cleaned, and gone to the store several times because the tissues we had were too rough on his nose. FML

#21035436
230 comments

I agree, your life sucks (58632) - you deserved it (8021)

On 01/21/2014 at 8:16pm - health - by AnonWife - United Kingdom (North Lincolnshire)

Today, I found out that even after three years, my boyfriend's mother replies, "Unfortunately" when asked if we are still together. FML

#21034680
75 comments

I agree, your life sucks (37396) - you deserved it (3256)

On 01/21/2014 at 1:25am - love - by monsterinlaw - United States (Ohio)

Today, I was told I looked like Beaker from the Muppets. After doing a side-by-side comparison, I realized it's true. FML

#21032010
73 comments

I agree, your life sucks (36282) - you deserved it (3756)

On 01/18/2014 at 6:09pm - misc - by cjgreer70 - United States (Oregon)

Today, while I was fooling around with my girlfriend, she hurt her hand. It obviously wasn't very serious, so I told her to stop faking it. She responded, "Wanna know what I actually fake? My orgasms." FML

#21031998
126 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30189) - you deserved it (50897)

On 01/18/2014 at 5:55pm - intimacy - by Anonymous - United States (New Jersey)

Today, I bought a new, expensive dress for a date. I left the tag on and hidden in hopes of returning it later. Someone saw it and ripped it off for me to "save me from embarrassment." FML

#21031476
212 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23454) - you deserved it (48718)

On 01/18/2014 at 3:33am - money - by unicorn_skies - United States (California)

Today, I shut one of my breasts in my car door. FML

#21031414
183 comments

I agree, your life sucks (47288) - you deserved it (8637)

On 01/18/2014 at 1:29am - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Colorado)

Today, I went to get my first tattoo. Before we started, the tattooist told me to just relax and embrace the pain. I guess I did that too well; I kept getting an erection throughout. FML

#21030923
127 comments

I agree, your life sucks (38834) - you deserved it (7498)

On 01/17/2014 at 3:56pm - health - by sausages (man) - Macedonia (Karpos)

Today, it was my first day at my new school. I've never been the new girl before, so I asked my best friend for advice. She said, "Whatever you do, do not, under any circumstances, be yourself." FML

#21029148
71 comments

I agree, your life sucks (41805) - you deserved it (4762)

On 01/15/2014 at 8:57pm - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Pennsylvania)

Today, my students unanimously agreed, in front of me, that the only reason they take my course is to look at my ass. FML

#21028396
193 comments

I agree, your life sucks (50542) - you deserved it (11264)

On 01/15/2014 at 12:54am - intimacy - by jseid2 - United States (California)

Today, the sewage pipe busted on the side of our house, spew fecal matter and the condoms I recently flushed. My parents now refuse to talk to me, and won't let my girlfriend anywhere near the house. FML

#21027629
182 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24776) - you deserved it (42499)

On 01/14/2014 at 12:59pm - misc - by ===== (man) - Pakistan (Sindh)

Today, I was laying down with my girlfriend, when she asked me if I'd ever been kicked in the junk. I awkwardly said no, and she replied, "Well maybe that should change." while rubbing my shoulder lovingly. I'm scared. FML

#21027576
99 comments

I agree, your life sucks (39875) - you deserved it (4061)

On 01/14/2014 at 11:15am - health - by Anonymous (man) - United Kingdom (Cheshire)

Today, as I was taking out the trash, I spotted my cute neighbor doing the same. In a rush to get out before he went back inside, I slipped on my iced-over porch. I passed out and woke up with a note on my chest saying, "I unlocked your door but you were too heavy to drag inside". FML

#21027337
118 comments

I agree, your life sucks (43784) - you deserved it (6526)

On 01/14/2014 at 1:48am - misc - by rholt (woman) - United States (Kansas)

Today, I went to the doctor, only to find out I can no longer eat chocolate, my favorite food. When I got home, my boyfriend took the chocolate cake I'd been eating from the fridge, sat down in front of me, and ate the whole thing without breaking eye contact. FML

#21025897
169 comments

I agree, your life sucks (50118) - you deserved it (6309)

On 01/12/2014 at 8:00pm - health - by foreveralone - United States (Illinois)

Today, I was walking home from a horrible day at work, when some idiot emptied a trashcan on my head from his apartment balcony. He cried "Oh shit!" and apologized because I wasn't his intended target. FML

#21025526
67 comments

I agree, your life sucks (44059) - you deserved it (2952)

On 01/12/2014 at 12:28pm - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Massachusetts)



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