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erynys

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erynys
  • Town/Country : Gainesville, USA
  • Title : Mister
  • Birth Date : Tuesday 9 November 1982 (30 years)
  • Number of visits : 426
  • Number of comments : 0
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 1 posted

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erynys's favorite FMLs

Today, I walked into an exam after having stayed up 20 straight hours studying. The professor looked at me and muttered, "Don't bother, I'm failing you either way." FML

#20552400
130 comments

I agree, your life sucks (35867) - you deserved it (3488)

On 03/20/2013 at 4:26pm - misc - by Tired (man) - United States

Today, I realized that the smell of chlorine has started to turn me on, probably because my girlfriend has an indoor pool in her house. Guess who works as a swim instructor. FML

#20552149
52 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31910) - you deserved it (3366)

On 03/20/2013 at 12:08pm - intimacy - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Virginia)

Today, I was talking to my boss and he said I was awesome. He went to fist bump me and I missed. FML

#20552081
75 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23842) - you deserved it (7376)

On 03/20/2013 at 10:31am - work - by missedfistbump - United States

Today, my sink seemed to be filling up with dirty water. Concerned, I turned on the garbage disposal and plunged away. With no change in the water levels, I called a plumber. He reached in, pulled out the drain plug, and give me his bill while chuckling to himself. FML

#20551577
47 comments

I agree, your life sucks (8189) - you deserved it (29375)

On 03/19/2013 at 10:52pm - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Minnesota)

Today, my husband woke up, rolled over, and said, "Good morning, beautiful." He hasn't called me that in months, but as I was about to reply, I realized he was talking to his pet turtle, not me. FML

#20549421
58 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31434) - you deserved it (1968)

On 03/18/2013 at 3:38pm - love - by Maggie - United States

Today, I was dancing with an incredibly sexy man at a club. He was grinding on me when he leaned over and said, "If I was straight, I would make you my queen." FML

#20548252
68 comments

I agree, your life sucks (32062) - you deserved it (3954)

On 03/17/2013 at 8:10pm - love - by noooooooo (woman) - United States (North Carolina)

Today, my girlfriend decided we are to the point in our relationship that it's considered acceptable to take a dump while I'm in there showering. FML

Today, of the two IDs I possess, I handed the cop that pulled me over the fake one. FML

#20545967
85 comments

I agree, your life sucks (7944) - you deserved it (49424)

On 03/16/2013 at 10:58am - misc - by Anonymous - United States (Massachusetts)

Today, I was cleaning a house. While dusting a rickety nightstand, a drawer fell open and a light-up dildo fell out and turned on. I couldn't figure out how to turn it off. FML

#20541893
101 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29395) - you deserved it (2307)

On 03/13/2013 at 9:36am - intimacy - by OptimusVader (woman) - United States

Today, I was helping my father-in-law out at a family barbecue. Somehow, the topic turned to grand-children, at which point I confessed that my wife has been having trouble conceiving. His response was to boom: "Sure you've been putting it in the right hole, son?!" FML

#20541069
112 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28473) - you deserved it (3147)

On 03/12/2013 at 6:43pm - kids - by um... maybe (man) - United Kingdom

Today, my pet parrot learned a new trick. In addition to imitating my dog, and my voice when I call my mother, it can now imitate my sex noises, and likes to screech them whenever someone comes into the room. FML

#20540360
65 comments

I agree, your life sucks (20404) - you deserved it (6221)

On 03/12/2013 at 12:43am - misc - by Anonymous - United States

Today, my brother yelled at me, calling me a "no-good fucking whore", because I couldn't fix his laptop. The same laptop he threw on the floor after screaming "FUCKING HEAL MEEE!" at his game. As ever, my parents took his side, refusing to believe that I can't fix a cracked monitor. FML

#20539298
119 comments

I agree, your life sucks (33174) - you deserved it (1504)

On 03/11/2013 at 7:57am - misc - by cunts, cunts everywhere - Australia

Today, I was caught "experimenting" with my friend at his house. His parents called mine, and my dad came to drive me home. On the way back, he tried to cheer me up by saying, "Son, don't be ashamed. When I was your age, I sucked a few dicks myself." Thanks for the info, Dad. FML

#20539287
185 comments

I agree, your life sucks (39654) - you deserved it (17105)

On 03/11/2013 at 7:33am - intimacy - by ugh (man) - United States (Massachusetts)

Today, I went with my dad to Starbucks. There is this really cute guy who works there and he kept looking over at me, so I went over to say hi. He ended up asking if my dad was single. FML

#20538966
63 comments

I agree, your life sucks (35770) - you deserved it (3342)

On 03/11/2013 at 12:17am - love - by lonely girl - United States

Today, my boyfriend drove me back home. My dad was sitting on the porch in his underwear, with his shotgun in his lap. He stroked the gun, looked my boyfriend dead in the eyes, and slowly shook his head. Now my boyfriend refuses to see me for his own safety. FML

#20538482
144 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28407) - you deserved it (2529)

On 03/10/2013 at 6:37pm - love - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Texas)



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