erynys

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Offline (the 08/31/2014 at 7:46pm)

erynys

0Fucked!

  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Mister
  • Birth Date : Tuesday 9 November 1982 (33 years old)
  • <3 status : Not specified
  • Number of visits : 7283
  • Number of comments : 0
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 2 posted

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erynys's page activity

Visits<b>katherhinooo</b> - the 08/10/2014 at 9:50pm<b>winchestinalock</b> - the 08/08/2014 at 11:09am<b>Mons</b> - the 08/07/2014 at 11:42pm<b>BBlah</b> - the 08/04/2014 at 4:32am<b>Ayezed</b> - the 07/31/2014 at 6:30pm<b>Mahak1099</b> - the 07/18/2014 at 4:56pm<b>who_else00</b> - the 06/18/2014 at 2:09am<b>aha_awkward_</b> - the 05/10/2014 at 5:10pm<b>BumbleChick</b> - the 04/30/2014 at 9:30pm<b>alijo1414</b> - the 04/15/2014 at 12:02pm<b>HowieDoIt</b> - the 03/29/2014 at 10:53am<b>NatsuD</b> - the 03/16/2014 at 9:18am<b>Toutejulie</b> - the 02/28/2014 at 5:49pm<b>angelitared</b> - the 02/21/2014 at 11:09pm<b>RockUntilYouDie</b> - the 02/20/2014 at 6:09am<b>Hammer6</b> - the 02/13/2014 at 7:04am<b>MxAxRxCxO</b> - the 02/09/2014 at 12:25pm<b>QuixoticFox</b> - the 01/30/2014 at 2:28am

erynys's FML badges

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Keen reader – Level: student ninja

You have voted for 15% of the entire collection of FMLs to date.

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erynys's favorite FMLs

Today, my son asked me if slavery was ever abolished. He's 19. FML

by Anonymous / 09/16/2013 at 1:42pm / United States (New York) / Kids

Today, I saw an elderly gentleman in the street wearing a shirt with a big QR code on it. Amused, I used an app on my phone to decode it. It gave me a shortened web address, which I followed, only to be faced with a picture of the same gentleman naked, grinning, and giving a thumbs up. FML

by Anonymous / 09/15/2013 at 3:53pm / Romania (Bucuresti) / Intimacy

Today, I was home alone and heard the kitchen tap turn on. Shocked, I turned it off. It continuously kept turning itself on so I set my video phone on it to find out the cause. My cat has learnt to turn it on. I later found said cat teaching another. I have three cats. All my taps are like this. FML

Today, I asked a friend to hang out. I'm so used to people saying no, that when she said yes I burst into tears and had a panic attack. FML

Today, I got fired from my volunteer job. FML

by Volunteer / 09/13/2013 at 6:24pm / United States (Indiana) / Work

Today, I woke up and saw that my alarm clock had fallen on the floor. It read 9:05 am. I panicked because I was late for work. As I frantically got ready, I went to pick my alarm clock up to place it back on my nightstand when I realized it was upside down. The actual time was 5:06. FML

by NoorFML / 09/13/2013 at 9:24am / United States / Miscellaneous

Today, my girlfriend is upset with me for not wanting to sext. I can't sext with her because she adds 'lol' to everything which turns me off. FML

by Anonymous / 09/13/2013 at 2:53am / United States (Oregon) / Intimacy

Today, I had to babysit two kids. It all went well until one of them duct taped a knife to a toy machine gun, lit the barbecue on fire, and ran around like a wild banshee screaming obscenities. The other one got scared and climbed onto the roof of the house. FML

by ellen77 / 09/13/2013 at 1:55am / United States (California) / Work

Today, I was at a coffee shop, when a middle-aged guy called me a "two-timing whore", dumped his coffee on me and walked out in tears. I'm 14 and I have no idea who he was. FML

by Anonymous / 09/12/2013 at 6:43pm / United States (New Jersey) / Miscellaneous

Today, I was standing in line at the grocery store waiting for my husband. After a while, I feel him kissing my neck, so I turn to tell him that it's not appropriate in public. It wasn't my husband. FML

by whyme / 09/12/2013 at 10:44am / United States (Florida) / Love

Today, I officially became a divorced marriage counselor. FML

by natattack / 09/11/2013 at 5:35pm / United States (Texas) / Work

Today, after having recently told my 4-year-old daughter that she won't grow big and tall if she doesn't eat her veggies, she decided to pass this wisdom on to a midget that we passed in the store. FML

by Anonymous / 09/11/2013 at 2:10pm / United States (Florida) / Kids

Today, I was watching a movie on TV. One of the characters has the same name as my dog, and when his name was called, my dog got so excited that he jumped face-first into my TV. FML

by ugh Buck! / 09/11/2013 at 12:57pm / United States / Animals

Today, my mom was sharing the story of how I was born with the umbilical cord around my neck. My sister added that it was God's first attempt to kill me off. FML

Today, my best friend confessed to me that she's a lesbian. She quickly added, "Oh, don't worry, I don't like you. You're not attractive." FML

by ...thanks / 09/07/2013 at 10:17am / United States / Miscellaneous