erynys

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Offline (the 08/31/2014 at 7:46pm)

erynys

0Fucked!

  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Mister
  • Birth Date : Tuesday 9 November 1982 (33 years old)
  • <3 status : Not specified
  • Number of visits : 8766
  • Number of comments : 0
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 2 posted

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erynys's page activity

Visits<b>katherhinooo</b> - the 08/10/2014 at 9:50pm<b>winchestinalock</b> - the 08/08/2014 at 11:09am<b>Mons</b> - the 08/07/2014 at 11:42pm<b>BBlah</b> - the 08/04/2014 at 4:32am<b>Ayezed</b> - the 07/31/2014 at 6:30pm<b>Mahak1099</b> - the 07/18/2014 at 4:56pm<b>who_else00</b> - the 06/18/2014 at 2:09am<b>BumbleChick</b> - the 04/30/2014 at 9:30pm<b>alijo1414</b> - the 04/15/2014 at 12:02pm<b>HowieDoIt</b> - the 03/29/2014 at 10:53am<b>NatsuD</b> - the 03/16/2014 at 9:18am<b>Toutejulie</b> - the 02/28/2014 at 5:49pm<b>angelitared</b> - the 02/21/2014 at 11:09pm<b>RockUntilYouDie</b> - the 02/20/2014 at 6:09am<b>Hammer6</b> - the 02/13/2014 at 7:04am<b>MxAxRxCxO</b> - the 02/09/2014 at 12:25pm<b>QuixoticFox</b> - the 01/30/2014 at 2:28am<b>Welshite</b> - the 01/21/2014 at 10:28am

erynys's FML badges

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Keen reader – Level: master ninja

You have voted for 50% of the entire collection of FMLs to date.

Keen reader – Level: student ninja

You have voted for 15% of the entire collection of FMLs to date.

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erynys's favorite FMLs

Today, I moved into a new house, I couldn't help but notice a car alarm going off, so I investigated my neighbors. Turns out it's their bird. It imitates chainsaws, car alarms, and much more. FML

by Mike Messenger / 10/05/2013 at 9:51am / United States (Florida) / Animals

Today, I pretended to be deaf to a door to door salesman. He knew sign language. FML

by Anonymous / 10/05/2013 at 2:56am / United States (Washington) / Miscellaneous

Today, a cute guy ditched his date and walked up to me, calling me beautiful. Not knowing how to reply, I just blushed. His date got angry and left. "Sorry. I take that back," he then said. "I was just trying to get rid of her. Thanks anyway." FML

by okaythen / 10/04/2013 at 5:37am / Egypt (Al Qahirah) / Love

Today, while in bed, my boyfriend pointed to my stomach and said, "Bad fat", then pointed to my boobs and said, "Good fat." FML

by f.a.t. / 10/04/2013 at 4:20am / Australia / Miscellaneous

Today, I was training at work on proper techniques of physical restraint. As my coworker was practicing on me, I realized this was the first time I've had physical contact with a man in years. I'm ashamed to admit how good it felt to feel his weight pressed into my back as I pretended to resist. FML

by Anonymous / 10/04/2013 at 1:04am / United States (Utah) / Love

Today, my boyfriend and I went to one of the United States Mints since he enjoys coins. He looked at the money and seriously said, "I have such a hard on". He did. FML

by EconM / 10/03/2013 at 11:38am / United States / Intimacy

Today, I went to dinner with a guy I like and paid the $120 bill. After joking that he was an expensive date, he replied, "I laugh at how you think this is a date." FML

by Anonymous / 10/03/2013 at 4:14am / Australia (Victoria) / Love

Today, my girlfriend got mad at me because I slept on the couch last night. She also seems to have forgotten that we had an argument last night, after which she stormed into our bedroom and locked me out. FML

by Couch Potato / 10/02/2013 at 7:16pm / United States (California) / Love

Today, I was on a dinner date with a guy I really like. I guess I was on my phone too much because halfway through the date he sent me a text saying how much my half of the bill would be. FML

by Lilly / 10/02/2013 at 8:43am / United States (Arkansas) / Love

Today, my sex-crazed ex wrote me a letter so bad, it haunts me that I let a guy with such terrible grammar skills touch my boobs. FML

by whatdoesitmatter / 10/01/2013 at 6:47am / India (Tamil Nadu) / Intimacy

Today, I was in an Austrian bar, making polite conversation in my broken German with a slightly odd middle-aged man. He said, winking, that he was near to his pension. I smiled and nodded, thinking he was talking about retirement. My friend later informed me that 'pension' is German for 'apartment'. Ew. FML

by Anonymous / 10/01/2013 at 3:30am / Austria (Wien) / Miscellaneous

Today, I sent my boyfriend a text asking him to come over a little later and have some "fun" with me. He texted back, "WTF babe? Breaking Bad's on tonight. You got a dildo, fucking use it." FML

by -___- / 09/29/2013 at 3:46pm / United States (Illinois) / Intimacy

Today, a girl who's in charge of a group project that I get graded on, asked if Bill Gates was a Founding Father. She was totally serious. I'm screwed. FML

by Anonymous / 09/29/2013 at 1:23pm / United States (Pennsylvania) / Miscellaneous

Today, I broke up with my abusive girlfriend. She responded by breaking into my place and stabbing my hamster with a fork. FML

by Anonymous / 09/27/2013 at 4:33pm / United States (Texas) / Love

Today, while sitting in a crowded waiting room at the doctor's office, my 5-year-old daughter pointed at my 6-year-old son's crotch and boomed, "MOM, WHY DOES ANDY HAVE A FINGER DOWN THERE?" to which he yelled, "IT'S CALLED A COCK!" FML

by SerenityJ / 09/27/2013 at 4:00pm / United States (California) / Kids