Submit your FML story

  • - Concept: An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
  • - CAUTION: Read your message over. Please don't use text language and avoid making too many spelling mistakes.
  • - Please note that spam and nonsensical stories will result in you being blocked from accessing FML.
Your nick:
Categories :
Man or woman?

erynys

Search for a member

erynys
  • Town/Country : Gainesville, USA
  • Title : Mister
  • Birth Date : Tuesday 9 November 1982 (31 years)
  • Number of visits : 1804
  • Number of comments : 0
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 2 posted

This member hasn't filled in the description.

erynys's last visitors

alijo1414SweetSwedeHowieDoItNatsuDToutejulieangelitaredRockUntilYouDieHammer6MxAxRxCxOQuixoticFoxWelshitektiskool

erynys's FML badges

Socialite

You’ve used FML’s private messaging service for the first time. Will they reply? Wait and see…

Keen reader – Level: master ninja

You have voted for 50% of the entire collection of FMLs to date.

Keen reader – Level: student ninja

You have voted for 15% of the entire collection of FMLs to date.

See all of erynys's badges

erynys's favorite FMLs

Today, my mother kept nagging at me because my 9-month-old daughter only calms down when I play her metal. She demands I use gospel, otherwise she will turn into a "devil-worshipping lunatic like her mother". FML

#20915864
166 comments

I agree, your life sucks (39888) - you deserved it (4371)

On 10/10/2013 at 11:04pm - kids - by SlapAndTickle - United States

Today, I asked my friend to crop me out of her profile picture on Facebook because I look terrible in it. She responded that she wasn't going to, because it made her look better. FML

#20913413
69 comments

I agree, your life sucks (38823) - you deserved it (4818)

On 10/09/2013 at 1:21am - misc - by Anon - New Zealand (Auckland)

Today, my boyfriend accused me of cheating because according to him, our child does not have his hair color, eye color, or other facial features. Our son is five days old, bald and hasn't opened his eyes much. The closest thing I can probably compare him to is an old, wrinkly potato. FML

#20912171
205 comments

I agree, your life sucks (49914) - you deserved it (3733)

On 10/08/2013 at 5:55am - kids - by thisguy (woman) - United States (California)

Today, I got two pieces of mail. One was a fine for not presenting my concession card to ticket inspectors on a train. The other was my concession card. FML

#20912116
44 comments

I agree, your life sucks (35498) - you deserved it (2608)

On 10/08/2013 at 3:09am - money - by Anonymous (woman) - China (Shanghai)

Today, I was playing soccer when a player kicked the ball at my crotch. In pain, I kneeled down. The referee came up to me and whispered, "The smaller they are, the more it hurts." FML

#20911508
112 comments

I agree, your life sucks (40109) - you deserved it (3457)

On 10/07/2013 at 8:21pm - misc - by Agax (man) - United States (California)

Today, I fell asleep while my boyfriend and I were having sex. What's worse is that he didn't even notice. FML

#20910165
140 comments

I agree, your life sucks (44917) - you deserved it (11598)

On 10/06/2013 at 9:34pm - intimacy - by Sleepy head - United States

Today, I moved into a new house, I couldn't help but notice a car alarm going off, so I investigated my neighbors. Turns out it's their bird. It imitates chainsaws, car alarms, and much more. FML

#20908147
76 comments

I agree, your life sucks (40538) - you deserved it (2848)

On 10/05/2013 at 9:51am - animals - by Mike Messenger - United States (Florida)

Today, I pretended to be deaf to a door to door salesman. He knew sign language. FML

#20907982
129 comments

I agree, your life sucks (19744) - you deserved it (45021)

On 10/05/2013 at 2:56am - misc - by Anonymous - United States (Washington)

Today, a cute guy ditched his date and walked up to me, calling me beautiful. Not knowing how to reply, I just blushed. His date got angry and left. "Sorry. I take that back," he then said. "I was just trying to get rid of her. Thanks anyway." FML

#20906907
68 comments

I agree, your life sucks (46868) - you deserved it (2987)

On 10/04/2013 at 5:37am - love - by okaythen (woman) - Egypt (Al Qahirah)

Today, while in bed, my boyfriend pointed to my stomach and said, "Bad fat", then pointed to my boobs and said, "Good fat." FML

#20906869
139 comments

I agree, your life sucks (48615) - you deserved it (6707)

On 10/04/2013 at 4:20am - misc - by f.a.t. (woman) - Australia

Today, I was training at work on proper techniques of physical restraint. As my coworker was practicing on me, I realized this was the first time I've had physical contact with a man in years. I'm ashamed to admit how good it felt to feel his weight pressed into my back as I pretended to resist. FML

#20906772
56 comments

I agree, your life sucks (35872) - you deserved it (3761)

On 10/04/2013 at 1:04am - love - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Utah)

Today, my boyfriend and I went to one of the United States Mints since he enjoys coins. He looked at the money and seriously said, "I have such a hard on". He did. FML

#20905869
86 comments

I agree, your life sucks (40177) - you deserved it (3556)

On 10/03/2013 at 11:38am - intimacy - by EconM - United States

Today, I went to dinner with a guy I like and paid the $120 bill. After joking that he was an expensive date, he replied, "I laugh at how you think this is a date." FML

#20905656
123 comments

I agree, your life sucks (46219) - you deserved it (4869)

On 10/03/2013 at 4:14am - love - by Anonymous - Australia (Victoria)

Today, my girlfriend got mad at me because I slept on the couch last night. She also seems to have forgotten that we had an argument last night, after which she stormed into our bedroom and locked me out. FML

#20905054
56 comments

I agree, your life sucks (35039) - you deserved it (2610)

On 10/02/2013 at 7:16pm - love - by Couch Potato - United States (California)

Today, I was on a dinner date with a guy I really like. I guess I was on my phone too much because halfway through the date he sent me a text saying how much my half of the bill would be. FML

#20904456
312 comments

I agree, your life sucks (14456) - you deserved it (101531)

On 10/02/2013 at 8:43am - love - by Lilly (woman) - United States (Arkansas)



FML's blog

  • Zoé's Illustrated FML
  • Hey there, young whippersnappers. Yes, you, the youth. I’m talking to you, sitting at home, scratching your asses. Why aren’t you doing something more constructive with your lives? Stop watching that shit…

Friday 18 April 2014

The whole blog

FMyLife, world tour

Available on: