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erynys

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erynys
  • Town/Country : Gainesville, USA
  • Title : Mister
  • Birth Date : Tuesday 9 November 1982 (31 years)
  • Number of visits : 1762
  • Number of comments : 0
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 2 posted

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erynys's favorite FMLs

Today, during class our teacher asked us, "Who is Uncle Sam?" A girl answered, "He's the guy who founded KFC, right?" I'm in an AP class and have to put up with these morons constantly. FML

#21071374
121 comments

I agree, your life sucks (39812) - you deserved it (3686)

On 02/25/2014 at 4:17pm - misc - by Anonymous - United States (Texas)

Today, my sister finished a project about something she hates. Me. FML

#21069691
40 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30837) - you deserved it (3221)

On 02/23/2014 at 7:34pm - misc - by ninaaaa - United Kingdom (London, City of)

Today, I was babysitting an 8-year-old boy. He was playing with play-doh and made a sculpture that resembled a penis. I tried to cover up and asked if it was an action figure. He looked at me like I was an idiot and said, "It's a DICK." FML

#21069587
105 comments

I agree, your life sucks (40626) - you deserved it (4822)

On 02/23/2014 at 5:27pm - kids - by hot sweet.... not (woman) - United Kingdom (Renfrewshire)

Today, I was back home from work drinking coffee when I heard someone open the door with a key. It was my boyfriend, who obviously didn't expect to see me home. We don't live together, and I never gave him a key. FML

#21067356
118 comments

I agree, your life sucks (44996) - you deserved it (3557)

On 02/21/2014 at 4:59am - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - Russian Federation (Lipetsk)

Today, while getting intimate with my boyfriend, he started sucking on my breast. He ended up popping a pimple on it into his mouth. He threw up and that, as they say, was the end of that. FML

#21064527
158 comments

I agree, your life sucks (40657) - you deserved it (13917)

On 02/18/2014 at 2:49pm - intimacy - by Anonymous (woman) - Virgin Islands, U.S.

Today, the parent of a student called to ask me about a homework assignment. At the end of the call, she told me that I seem to be losing my "Asian accent" from when she first talked to me in the summer. I was born in the US, grew up in NJ and speak perfect English. FML

#21063588
59 comments

I agree, your life sucks (33486) - you deserved it (2652)

On 02/17/2014 at 5:41pm - work - by kdubz23 (man) - United States (Pennsylvania)

Today, my boyfriend yelled at me from the other room for washing the dishes "too loudly". FML

#21063397
145 comments

I agree, your life sucks (39047) - you deserved it (5571)

On 02/17/2014 at 1:28pm - love - by kj1 (woman) - United States (Utah)

Today, I told my husband how frisky I was feeling, and asked him what he was going to do about it. He reached into our fruit bowl, tossed me a banana and told me to work it out, then returned to his video game. FML

#21061692
184 comments

I agree, your life sucks (46615) - you deserved it (6259)

On 02/15/2014 at 5:44pm - intimacy - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Pennsylvania)

Today, I'm stuck in a hotel with my psychotic mom, all because she swore there were "demonic" noises coming from our oven. Yeah, our oven is totally possessed, you idiot. FML

#21061598
103 comments

I agree, your life sucks (35994) - you deserved it (3830)

On 02/15/2014 at 3:51pm - misc - by fuck my goddamn life (man) - United States

Today, I was on a date, when I suddenly choked on my own saliva and coughed so hard that I passed out. FML

Today, a guy called customer support, claiming his internet wasn't working. I asked for his customer details, and he gave his name as Mike Hunt. I recognized the old joke, called him an idiot, and hung up on him. It turned out that was his real name. I'm now on suspension. FML

#21060478
95 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24680) - you deserved it (30204)

On 02/14/2014 at 4:39pm - work - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Florida)

Today, trying to be a responsible parent, I bought my daughter a pack of condoms in case she ever decided to have sex. She turned them into balloon animals and went back to playing video games. FML

#21059009
284 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29682) - you deserved it (45275)

On 02/13/2014 at 10:47am - kids - by Anonymous - United States (Missouri)

Today, in the very middle of the night, my kitten started rubbing against my face. Thinking I saw her face in the darkness, I decided to kiss her before going back to bed. My lips made contact with her butthole. FML

#21058991
133 comments

I agree, your life sucks (45031) - you deserved it (15888)

On 02/13/2014 at 10:20am - animals - by Anonymous - United States (Nevada)

Today, I walked into my house with a couple of friends and I saw my girlfriend doing laundry. I jokingly asked her if she had time to do a load of mine as well. She scoffed and said, "Yeah babe, I'll gladly do your laundry... The same day you learn to wipe properly." FML

#21058908
99 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21079) - you deserved it (46382)

On 02/13/2014 at 7:43am - love - by Anonymous (man) -

Today, during an important exam, I had a huge panic attack and had to run out of the exam hall. Everyone saw me, and now everywhere I go, people keep pretending to have a panic attack and run away from me. I have to spend two more years with these assholes. FML



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