erik1126

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erik1126

0Fucked!

  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Mister
  • Birth Date : Not specified
  • <3 status : Not specified
  • Number of visits : 1049
  • Number of comments : 0
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 7 posted

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erik1126's page activity

Visits<b>KingGeorgeGal</b> - the 07/03/2011 at 2:22am

erik1126's FML badges

Consolation prize

Your FML was denied. We had to at least give you a badge to cheer you up a bit.

erik1126's favorite FMLs

Today, I was humming the Star Wars theme song while on the bus. When my stop came I walked down the aisle only to hear a girl mutter, "The virginity is strong in this one." She's right. FML

by starboy / 03/10/2012 at 1:50am / United States (California) / Miscellaneous

Today, my extremely OCD girlfriend wouldn't have sex with me because my bedroom wasn't "properly symmetrical." FML

by gtfoocd / 12/27/2011 at 10:20am / United States (Connecticut) / Intimacy

Today, I found out that if a cop asks you if you have any weapons, and you reply by saying "only these guns" while flexing your biceps, they won't take it very well. And neither will the cops down at the station. FML

by Anonymous / 12/06/2011 at 12:24pm / Miscellaneous

Today, I saw Santa. He gave me the finger. FML

by moopymoplady / 11/28/2011 at 7:44pm / Canada (Ontario) / Miscellaneous

Today, my dad walked in on me and my girlfriend having sex. His only reaction was to mutter, "Put some back into it, son." before awkwardly sidling out. FML

by ifeeldirty / 10/27/2011 at 8:22am / United States (Illinois) / Intimacy

Today, for my birthday, instead of a cake, my friends surprised me with a castle mainly made out of bacon. I don't want to seem ungrateful, but I fucking hate bacon. FML

by Anonymous / 10/26/2011 at 10:14am / United States (Florida) / Miscellaneous

Today, I decided I wanted to dye my hair a medium brown. Little did I know, some jerk switched the hair dye boxes. My hair is now bright orange. FML

by Hair Fail / 10/22/2011 at 11:32am / United States (Ohio) / Miscellaneous

Today, I went to the store to pick up some tampons. After waiting in line for about 10 minutes, the male cashier looked at me when I was leaving and said, "Have a nice... week!" FML

by sarah / 10/19/2011 at 3:36pm / United States (Maryland) / Miscellaneous

Today, I went to the store to pick up some tampons. After waiting in line for about 10 minutes, the male cashier looked at me when I was leaving and said, "Have a nice... week!" FML

by sarah / 10/19/2011 at 3:36pm / United States (Maryland) / Miscellaneous

Today, my twin boys who are 5 decided to teach each other how to fly off the shed out back. They are still in their pajamas. Batman's arm is broken and Spiderman has a slight concussion. FML

by optimistic2628 / 10/19/2011 at 10:03am / United States / Kids

Today, I was given an entire week of detention for planking on my school desk. FML

by planking champion / 10/17/2011 at 6:05pm / United States (North Dakota) / Miscellaneous

Today, I came home to my empty apartment. My girlfriend had left a note on the floor that said: "Took my stuff and left. Took your stuff and pawned it." FML

by Anonymous / 10/16/2011 at 12:22am / United States (Texas) / Love

Today, my boyfriend informed me that to save money, he's been using the same condom for the last month. FML

by Anonymous / 10/13/2011 at 12:56pm / United States / Intimacy

Today, during my first date with a girl I've liked for awhile, she tells me about some minor disabilities she was born with. Wanting to be honest with her too, I tell her I'm slightly autistic. Her response was, "I'm sorry this isn't going to work. I can't date a retard." I had to eat alone after that. FML

by DyingPlants / 10/09/2011 at 11:27pm / United States (Missouri) / Love

Today, I learned the hard way that your little brother is not joking when he threatens to shave your eyebrows if you don't let him watch cartoons. FML

by hairless / 10/08/2011 at 11:53pm / Canada (Quebec) / Kids