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ericnx's favorite FMLs
by Anonymous / 10/04/2013 at 7:36pm / United States (Texas) / Intimacy
by sammieshortcake / 09/14/2013 at 11:30am / United States / Love
Today, as a joke, I hid under my parents' bed, hoping to scare them when they came home. When they finally arrived, they burst through their bedroom door, tearing each other's clothes off. I had to keep my breath in time with my mom's panting and moaning as my dad brutally dominated her. FML
by gir / 07/14/2011 at 3:35pm / United States (Tennessee) / Intimacy
by Canuckster / 07/10/2011 at 5:41pm / Canada (Ontario) / Miscellaneous
Today, my girlfriend and I were taking a shower together. We were fooling around when she takes the shower head and starts spraying my penis with it. I asked her "what are you doing?" Her response: "I'm watering it to make it grow." FML
by Anonymous / 05/29/2011 at 10:04am / United States / Intimacy
by dickface / 03/28/2011 at 4:13pm / Canada (Ontario) / Intimacy
Today, I emailed my potential boss a copy of my résumé. However, I didn't realize until too late that it was my fake resume, created for an English class project. Some of my former jobs included being a certified gangster, as well as the former president of Canada. FML
by Almostfunny / 03/16/2011 at 9:01am / United States (Massachusetts) / Work
by breakinphones / 02/19/2011 at 9:03pm / United States (Arizona) / Miscellaneous
by 2dumb2drive / 02/11/2011 at 11:06pm / United States / Transportation
Today, I toured an art museum. Our tour guide had an obvious lisp, so I tried my best not to laugh. When she asked me a question about a sculpture, I accidentally responded "Yeth ma'am". She ended the tour right there. FML
by Sam / 02/09/2011 at 3:56pm / United States (Massachusetts) / Miscellaneous
Today, while waiting for a job interview, a woman sat down next to me and asked if I was here for the job too. Thinking she was also an applicant, I tried to demoralise her, and said the job was going to be a complete joke. With that, she stood up and said, "Do you still want to go into my office?" She was the interviewer. FML
by parker1993 / 02/03/2011 at 1:53pm / United States / Work
Today, I was in a public restroom taking a dump. It's difficult for me to do it in public, so to make it easier I kept telling myself "Nobody's here, you're all alone." I then heard "No, you're not." I didn't realize I was saying it out loud. And that I wasn't alone. FML
by shit / 12/14/2010 at 4:26am / United States (Colorado) / Health
Today, I was Rizzo in a production of Grease. I sang a line about needing a ring. I've been able to put up my left ring finger for every rehearsal, but today I put up the one next to it. I flipped off the audience. FML
by Anonymous / 12/08/2010 at 9:21pm / United States (Massachusetts) / Miscellaneous
by bribreeeeeezyfreshhh / 12/06/2010 at 12:03pm / United Kingdom / Miscellaneous
by fmylife / 08/26/2010 at 6:09am / Malaysia (Kuala Lumpur) / Intimacy
- 1Today, I took a test. I got up to turn it in, and accidentally bumped into another student. We both… 2Today, I tried to fire the worst worker I've ever had over the phone because he never shows up for… 3Today, it's been two years since I graduated with my master's. It's also been the same amount of…