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Today, leaving the restaurant I work in, the car next to mine was very crookedly parked. I had a hard time backing out. It turned out the whole restaurant was watching me, and they all started to clap as I drove away. FML
I agree, your life sucks (20616) - you deserved it (4066)
On 05/05/2011 at 8:35pm - misc - by parkingisawesome - United States
Today, I brought my girlfriend of four months home for dinner to meet my parents. The first thing my mom says to her? "Oh my God, you're real!" FML
I agree, your life sucks (29850) - you deserved it (3399)
On 05/04/2011 at 11:30pm - misc - by Charlie (man) - United States (Texas)
Today, I had to call the doctor to go and have them remove a tick that had got stuck to my man-parts while fishing. The receptionist laughed, she thought I was prank calling. FML
I agree, your life sucks (23785) - you deserved it (2801)
On 05/04/2011 at 10:38pm - health - by ouchies - United States
Today, my boyfriend asked me how women could urinate with a tampon in. FML
I agree, your life sucks (36013) - you deserved it (5953)
On 05/04/2011 at 7:51am - intimacy - by woah (woman) - United States (West Virginia)
Today, I took my dog for a walk. He started crapping on someone's lawn, then I noticed that the owner was outside and giving me a death stare. Not knowing what to do, I picked up the crap with my bare hands. The man started laughing at me. FML
I agree, your life sucks (12661) - you deserved it (39993)
On 05/01/2011 at 8:21pm - animals - by Cassie -
Today, I had to explain to my girlfriend why being with a girl while being with me is cheating. FML
I agree, your life sucks (31262) - you deserved it (5740)
On 04/30/2011 at 1:06am - love - by Imrickar - United States
Today, while driving with my step mother, she attempted to have phone sex with my dad. FML
I agree, your life sucks (46387) - you deserved it (3213)
On 04/03/2011 at 1:55pm - intimacy - by Hanna (woman) - United States (Texas)
Today, I was let go from my balloon-selling job at the zoo. They put a new monkey cage in my designated spot. I was literally fired so a monkey could take my place. FML
I agree, your life sucks (29393) - you deserved it (3641)
On 03/23/2011 at 7:50am - work - by Anonymous - United States
Today, I was in bed with my boyfriend, in the middle of foreplay, and somehow out of my mouth came, "I want to be inside you." I'm a woman. FML
I agree, your life sucks (16029) - you deserved it (8172)
On 03/14/2010 at 3:54am - intimacy - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (California)
Today, I came home to find a sock I previously used to whack off on my bed with googly eyes and a mouth drawn on it with a note that read "Because you can't find a real girl, I made your current one prettier, Love Mom." FML
I agree, your life sucks (203446) - you deserved it (59400)
On 04/02/2009 at 1:13am - intimacy - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Oregon)
Today, my son said, "Mommy, sometimes my pee-pee goes up like a stick." I replied, "Well, honey, that's normal and okay." I then asked when it happens, to which he said, "Well, sometimes when watching Scooby Doo and Shaggy comes out dressed in lady clothes." FML
I agree, your life sucks (314289) - you deserved it (41287)
On 03/20/2009 at 12:15am - kids - by ScoobieDoo (woman) - United States (Washington)
Today, I was swimming in the ocean with my best friend and a giant wave came and knocked off the bottom of my bikini. My friend told me that she would go get another bottom so I could walk onto the very crowded beach. She left me for half an hour, laughing from the shore with her entire family. FML
I agree, your life sucks (71634) - you deserved it (4343)
On 03/16/2009 at 9:04pm - misc - by paymeinhugs - United States (New York)
Today, I had drunk sex with a girl that I barely know. I didn't have a condom and was nervous about getting her pregnant, but she assured me that I could pull out. Right when I was about to pull out, she wrapped her legs around me and yelled, "BE MY BABY'S DADDY!" I couldn't get out in time. FML
I agree, your life sucks (471098) - you deserved it (584973)
On 03/09/2009 at 6:58pm - intimacy - by RC3Welly (man) - United States (Florida)
Monday 17 June 2013
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