About emudance : I am a girl. Yeeeee
How depressing, no badges acquired at all. :/
Today, I was sitting on a bench enjoying the sun, when a guy came and sat next to me. Next thing I know, he farts loudly, then proudly looks my way. I stared back in shock. He says to me, "Yeah, that just happened," and walks off. FML
I agree, your life sucks (49162) - you deserved it (9961)
On 11/03/2010 at 3:27am - misc - by flying13 (woman) - United States (Nevada)
Today, I switched from a pediatrician to an adult doctor. The guy was really persistant about a few personal questions. Then he brought my parents in the room and told them that I have an abnormally small penis and what remedies he knows of to fix it. FML
I agree, your life sucks (46931) - you deserved it (2709)
On 09/08/2009 at 5:17pm - misc - by dude5028 - United States (Ohio)
Today, I ran into my parents bedroom after I heard my name and what sounded like painful screams. When I opened the door my parents were on top of each other laughing hysterically. They needed me to find the key to the handcuffs. FML
I agree, your life sucks (47747) - you deserved it (2176)
On 09/07/2009 at 5:20pm - kids - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (California)
Today, I discovered that I don't have Herpes or Genital warts. I have acne on my penis. FML
I agree, your life sucks (50923) - you deserved it (6814)
On 09/06/2009 at 2:19pm - health - by Curt (man) - United States (Missouri)
Today, I walked in on my parents doing it. Luckily they didn't see me so I slipped out. I looked outside, trying to take my mind of the horrors I had just witnessed, only to realize my dad's car wasn't in the driveway. FML
I agree, your life sucks (61167) - you deserved it (2103)
On 09/05/2009 at 6:11pm - kids - by WTF (man) - United States (Texas)
Today, I went out with my family and boyfriend for dinner. We were all having a good time, and suddenly at the end of dinner he decides to kneel down on one knee, take out an engagement ring, and say "I choose you, Pikachu," with a straight face. He was serious. FML
I agree, your life sucks (97212) - you deserved it (23457)
On 09/04/2009 at 10:19pm - love - by mandy (woman) - United States (California)
Today, my husband and I were in bed, and just as I was about to finish he screamed, "Oh shit! It's 4:15, my strawberries are gonna whither!!!!" and then jumped off me and went to check on his farm on FarmVille. An imaginary farm, on Facebook. FML
I agree, your life sucks (72886) - you deserved it (5696)
On 08/20/2009 at 10:51am - love - by demk (woman) - United States (New York)
Today, I saw a video of me last night, hammered, climbing my wardrobe screaming "I WANT TO GO TO NARNIA" naked. FML
I agree, your life sucks (40092) - you deserved it (122982)
On 08/20/2009 at 10:39am - misc - by ShiriSarah (woman) - United Kingdom (London)
Today, I was at my school's spaghetti dinner with my family. My brother shook up my mom's soda, as a prank. My entire class witnessed my mom waving around an overflowing Diet Coke while my dad yelled, "Come on, put your mouth on it! Suck it! Suck it, Kathy!" FML
I agree, your life sucks (92902) - you deserved it (6034)
On 08/18/2009 at 3:20pm - misc - by gbhlaughingstock (man) - United States
Today, I walked in on my boyfriend humping my stuffed rabbit. I thought he was trying to be funny until I saw that he had an erection. FML
I agree, your life sucks (52107) - you deserved it (3397)
On 08/16/2009 at 9:58am - intimacy - by bunny (woman) - United States (Ohio)
Today, I was with my mom and my boyfriend at lunch. My phone rings and my mom excitedly says "You have friends!" As I'm about to answer it, she pulls out her phone from under the table and says "Kidding, it's just me." My boyfriend starts cracking up, and they exchange a high five. FML
I agree, your life sucks (54791) - you deserved it (5426)
On 08/02/2009 at 1:12pm - misc - by NoFriends - United States (New Hampshire)
Today, it was my wedding day, and while I was standing next to my husband in front of all of our guests, I was rocking on my heels because I was nervous. I rocked too far and fell backward. My husband didn't come to help me up. He just said at the top of his lungs, "FAIL!" FML
I agree, your life sucks (54701) - you deserved it (11469)
On 08/02/2009 at 12:21am - love - by thefailure (woman) - United States (Georgia)
Today, my mom put some bubblewrap on my desk because she thought I would have fun with it. I'm 18. It was awesome. FML
I agree, your life sucks (58994) - you deserved it (30950)
On 06/26/2009 at 2:13am - misc - by Jeweler (man) - United States (California)
Today, In my science class I sit next to my friend Jill. My teacher always gets our names confused calling me Jill and her Liz. She decided to combine our names. I'm now known as Jizz. My teacher clearly has no idea what it means. FML
I agree, your life sucks (113321) - you deserved it (6688)
On 06/12/2009 at 2:50pm - misc - by mcullen21 (woman) - United States (Massachusetts)
Today, my car was in the shop so I borrowed my wife's VW Beetle convertible. It's really embarrassing because it's a girlie car and it's full of little stuffed animals. At a stop light a man asked me if I'd like to borrow one of his testicles because "every man should have at least one." FML
I agree, your life sucks (81121) - you deserved it (15202)
On 06/11/2009 at 8:23pm - misc - by NoBalls (man) - United States (Indiana)
Monday 20 May 2013
The website: FML t-shirts -
Love - Animals - Money - Kids - Work - Health - Intimacy - Miscellaneous - Members
RSS feeds: 
Follow the FML 
Follow the FML blog 
Follow the FML comments
Go on the road: BlackBerry - Android - iPhone/iPod Touch - Windows Phone 7 - Mobile version
Give stuff to people: FML book - FML t-shirts
FML Everywhere: Français - Italiano - Español - Türk - Pусский - Svenskt - Indonesia
