About emorockerownage : This site owns
50 favourites
Love knows no boundaries. You’ve already got 50 FMLs in your favourites list!
Consolation prize
Your FML was denied. We had to at least give you a badge to cheer you up a bit.
It’s in the can
Hey, you uploaded your photo, and you’re cute as a kitten!
Today, I tried to suck my own penis. Autofellatio. My mother walked in on me and I flipped backwards off the bed. ER and 10 stiches above my eyebrow later, I asked her not to ever bring it up again. FML
I agree, your life sucks (12847) - you deserved it (60645)
On 01/26/2009 at 4:09pm - intimacy - by Boredom - United States
Today, I got a letter from the Navy saying that they accepted my application to join the Navy. I never applied. FML
I agree, your life sucks (27228) - you deserved it (1352)
On 01/24/2009 at 2:14pm - love - by Noname - United States (California)
Today, I was masturbating lying on the lower bed of my brother's and my bunk beds. I finished jacking off and tried to get up to clean myself I hit my head on metal panel of the upper bed and passed out. Later woke up in my bed... found out my parents came home and saw me passed out naked holding a porn mag. FML
I agree, your life sucks (11059) - you deserved it (34323)
On 01/23/2009 at 2:50pm - intimacy - by killmyself - United States (California)
Today, I went to the doctor because I broke my wrist. My mom told the nurse that I broke it while masturbating. FML
I agree, your life sucks (19720) - you deserved it (2754)
On 01/23/2009 at 10:41am - misc - by Nik - United States (Massachusetts)
Today, I was naked in bed. I was eating vanilla yogurt and it spilt. My dad walked in and then apologized that he had walked in on me while I was masturbating. FML
I agree, your life sucks (13230) - you deserved it (6353)
On 01/16/2009 at 5:10pm - misc - by stellarshaun - United States (California)
I agree, your life sucks (15597) - you deserved it (4311)
On 12/14/2008 at 8:14am - intimacy - by james - United Kingdom (London)
Today, I surprise my girlfriend by turning up at her flat on her twenty-fourth birthday. She gets up from the couch as I enter and I shout: "Tonight, my cock is going to stab you twenty-four times!" (Okay, that's not smart). That's when her father glances over from the couch and greets me. FML
I agree, your life sucks (8112) - you deserved it (44780)
On 12/13/2008 at 10:58pm - intimacy - by Mateo - Sent from mobile version
Today, I caught my cat humping my dog while he was asleep. I'm sleeping with the door closed from now on. FML
I agree, your life sucks (25246) - you deserved it (2330)
On 12/11/2008 at 10:31pm - intimacy - by Black - Lebanon (Beqaa)
Today, my boyfriend told me in a very natural way that my mother is better at sex than me. FML
I agree, your life sucks (60975) - you deserved it (2829)
On 12/05/2008 at 3:12am - intimacy - by Mak1 - Belgium (Brabant)
Today, after having waited three long months, my shy girlfriend finally gave me a blowjob. Everything was going really well until I said, "Wow, you're really talented. Anyone would think you've been practicing your whole life." FML
I agree, your life sucks (6309) - you deserved it (40525)
On 12/04/2008 at 12:55am - intimacy - by noname - Sent from mobile version
Today, I was performing the classic 69 position with my girlfriend. I wasn't able to control it : I farted right into her nose. FML
I agree, your life sucks (37279) - you deserved it (18420)
On 11/25/2008 at 11:43pm - intimacy - by USSEYL - United Kingdom (Oxfordshire)
Today, my neighbor turned down his loud music that he's been playing for months, only to turn on a porn movie at maximum volume. FML
I agree, your life sucks (26546) - you deserved it (1649)
On 11/23/2008 at 9:56pm - intimacy - by ptiluinthesky - Sent from mobile version
Today, my girlfriend came home with new condoms: Manix Endurance containing a numbing gel designed to help me "last longer". FML
I agree, your life sucks (26299) - you deserved it (7131)
On 11/21/2008 at 11:03pm - intimacy - by CoCo - Sent from mobile version
Today, my 14-year-old little sister asked me how I felt when I had my first sexual intercourse. I told her it was personal and was none of her business. She then looked at me and said "I thought it was nice". I'm 19 and I'm still a virgin. FML
I agree, your life sucks (39864) - you deserved it (4904)
On 11/21/2008 at 2:23am - intimacy - by KoNi - Sent from mobile version
Today, when I woke up, my husband was already up. Thinking I hear him in the hall I shout out "come on, don't be shy, bring that cock in here right now!". A voice replies: "he's gone out to get some bread". It was my mother in law. FML
I agree, your life sucks (32500) - you deserved it (10893)
On 11/20/2008 at 10:41pm - intimacy - by Tinker-Bell - Sent from mobile version
Monday 17 June 2013
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