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emorockerownage

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emorockerownage
  • Town/Country : bayville, United States
  • Title : Mister
  • Birth Date : Friday 8 November 1985 (28 years)
  • Number of visits : 45671
  • Number of comments : 127
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 3 posted

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emorockerownage's favorite FMLs

Today, after the church service was over, my two year old granddaughter started to sing into the microphone. She said, "Here Nana, you sing". I picked up the microphone and sang " Jesus Loves Me". She took the microphone back and said, "No he doesn't." FML

#2076493
233 comments

I agree, your life sucks (56044) - you deserved it (7943)

On 05/19/2009 at 10:04am - kids - by nana (woman) - United States (Connecticut)

Today, I went to get the Apple store, my Mac had been making a grinding noise from the fan. The guy put his ear to the keyboard and said there was a CD in the drive so I couldn't hear the grinding from the fan. He ejected the CD. It was porn. FML

#1493509
173 comments

I agree, your life sucks (11213) - you deserved it (74305)

On 04/30/2009 at 3:44pm - intimacy - by cait (woman) - United States (Massachusetts)

Today, I went up to a secluded mountain my boyfriend took me to for our first date. As I saw another couple hooking up in the bushes, I phoned my boyfriend to tell him someone found our secret spot. His Bob Marley ringtone started playing from the bush. FML

#1415688
198 comments

I agree, your life sucks (191865) - you deserved it (9110)

On 04/28/2009 at 2:27am - intimacy - by liveforpeace_ (woman) - Canada (British Columbia)

Today, my friend and I wanted to get some alcohol (we're under 21). We went to a liquor store and asked a random guy to go in and buy us some vodka. After giving him $20, he said he had to go turn off his car, then he'd get us the drinks. He got in his car and drove off, with my $20. FML

#1248718
411 comments

I agree, your life sucks (15639) - you deserved it (216090)

On 04/23/2009 at 3:16am - misc - by danielle (woman) - United States (California)

Today, I performed in my school play. Right before my big solo, I noticed a few girls changing backstage and I became aroused. The play was Jesus Christ Superstar, and I was playing Jesus. All I was wearing was a little cloth, so the whole audience saw Jesus get hard during the crucifixion. FML

#981592
239 comments

I agree, your life sucks (91508) - you deserved it (37711)

On 04/14/2009 at 11:27pm - intimacy - by jizzlemonster13 (man) - United States (New York)

Today, I asked my girl friend of a year and a half to give me a blow job. She replied okay and bent down and blew on my penis. Then she looked up at me and said was that good. She was serious. FML

#909616
297 comments

I agree, your life sucks (62068) - you deserved it (18231)

On 04/11/2009 at 12:12am - intimacy - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Utah)

Today, I was at the mall shoplifting when a girl who looked my age pointed to a shirt I had in my bag. "Stole that, huh?" she asked smiling. She looked pretty cool, so I nodded and asked if she stole the jeans she was wearing, which were from the store. Turns out she didn't, she's the manager. FML

#843065
666 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26378) - you deserved it (453894)

On 04/06/2009 at 8:41pm - misc - by blovesg (woman) - United States (Massachusetts)

Today, I went on a date with a guy for the first time. We went to Starbucks and got coffee. We talked for a while, and we were joking and having a good time. Suddenly, he put his hand on my stomach and said, "Soon, this will be plump with my seed." FML

#836792
907 comments

I agree, your life sucks (329247) - you deserved it (35705)

On 04/06/2009 at 3:39pm - misc - by creepermagnet (woman) - United States (Maryland)

Today, I thought I heard my little sister playing on my brand new grand piano. Angry, I ran downstairs to stop her. My parents were having sex. On my piano. FML

#800425
333 comments

I agree, your life sucks (267781) - you deserved it (17493)

On 04/04/2009 at 2:15pm - intimacy - by GuitarChick42 (woman) - United States (Virginia)

Today, I was on MSN with my friend and my 9 year old brother. My friend asked me for some advice about how to give a guy a good blowjob. I went into great detail, and then realised that I had typed it to the wrong window. I gave my little brother tips on how to perform fellatio. FML

#764991
148 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22428) - you deserved it (102660)

On 04/02/2009 at 11:34am - intimacy - by imsorrytimmy (woman) - United Kingdom (Wolverhampton)

Today, it's my 18th birthday. My parents got me a $5 gift certificate to iTunes. It came for free with the iPhone they just bought my sister for her middle school graduation. FML

#580113
485 comments

I agree, your life sucks (561956) - you deserved it (35270)

On 03/24/2009 at 5:15pm - misc - by happybirthday (woman) - United States (Wisconsin)



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