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emorockerownage

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emorockerownage
  • Town/Country : bayville, United States
  • Title : Mister
  • Birth Date : Friday 8 November 1985 (28 years)
  • Number of visits : 45667
  • Number of comments : 127
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 3 posted

About emorockerownage : This site owns

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emorockerownage's favorite FMLs

Today, I noticed a string was following behind our family cat. After close inspection I realized it was a plastic kite string he partially digested. I had to pull the other three feet of plastic kite tail from his rectum. He purred the entire time. FML

#3456534
194 comments

I agree, your life sucks (63728) - you deserved it (4611)

On 07/03/2009 at 3:06pm - animals - by RachelDC (woman) - United States (West Virginia)

Today, I was talking to my mother about my sex life, telling her "if I want to have sex I'm going to have sex." She looked at me for a moment and said, "You're staying a virgin until you marry". She wasn't ordering me, she was informing me. FML

#3452744
85 comments

I agree, your life sucks (33802) - you deserved it (7346)

On 07/03/2009 at 11:47am - intimacy - by senelbeat - United States (Louisiana)

Today, I was teaching swimming. A small boy said his stomach hurt, so I placed him on my back and carried him to the main building where he could lay down. He then jumped off my back and ran back towards the beach because 'he felt better'. I had explosive diarrhea all over my back. FML

#3375297
96 comments

I agree, your life sucks (54245) - you deserved it (4057)

On 06/30/2009 at 7:26pm - kids - by unluckycounsellor (woman) - Bermuda (Hamilton)

Today, my daughter asked me what is the youngest age at which you should start having sex. Being a good mom, I said that she shouldn't have sex until after she's been married. My daughter then said, "Oh... shoot," and walked away. My daughter is twelve. FML

#3344863
472 comments

I agree, your life sucks (66582) - you deserved it (11161)

On 06/29/2009 at 8:40pm - intimacy - by blazer - United States (Minnesota)

Today, I got beaten up by my ex-girlfriend's older brother who does mixed martial arts, because my ex saw me making out with another girl. We broke up over 6 months ago. FML

#3338347
200 comments

I agree, your life sucks (54374) - you deserved it (4089)

On 06/29/2009 at 3:55pm - misc - by thatCanadianGuy7 - Canada (Alberta)

Today, my girlfriend decided to bribe me to be good since we were going out to dinner with her parents by giving me blowjob. The good news: it was one of the best she had ever given. The bad news: I came on her black dress. She responded by hitting in me in the nuts. Hard. FML

#3176908
276 comments

I agree, your life sucks (44758) - you deserved it (26649)

On 06/24/2009 at 3:15pm - intimacy - by BadBribe (man) - United States (Virginia)

Today, I was cashiering at Target when an old woman came into my checkout line. Her items? Variety pack of pleasuring condoms, a bottle of KY sensual lube, and two colorful thongs. As I'm scanning these, she leans in and whispers, "I love toys." FML

#3129056
164 comments

I agree, your life sucks (46270) - you deserved it (2660)

On 06/22/2009 at 8:21pm - work - by the_captain (woman) - United States (Oregon)

Today, my husband and I were getting it on when we heard a little giggle. I put on my robe and looked outside my room to find that no one was there. So we continued. I later called my seven year old son and out he came crawling from under the bed. FML

#3127990
160 comments

I agree, your life sucks (41000) - you deserved it (7933)

On 06/22/2009 at 7:41pm - love - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (New York)

Today, I was in the basement at my grandma's house. The bathroom is on the ground floor and there's a laundry chute that goes down to the basement. I looked through the chute to see if the bathroom light was on. A pair of shitty underpants came down and landed in my face. They were my grandma's. FML

#3078532
68 comments

I agree, your life sucks (34036) - you deserved it (9780)

On 06/21/2009 at 12:19am - misc - by yuck (woman) - United States (Illinois)

Today, I was in the basement at my grandma's house. The bathroom is on the ground floor and there's a laundry chute that goes down to the basement. I looked through the chute to see if the bathroom light was on. A pair of shitty underpants came down and landed in my face. They were my grandma's. FML

#3078532
68 comments

I agree, your life sucks (34036) - you deserved it (9780)

On 06/21/2009 at 12:19am - misc - by yuck (woman) - United States (Illinois)

Today, at about 1 a.m. I got a drunk text from my girlfriend thanking me for the amazing sex last night. I have been out of town for 3 days. FML

#3068602
115 comments

I agree, your life sucks (59276) - you deserved it (3218)

On 06/20/2009 at 6:54pm - intimacy - by desocrates (man) - United States (Colorado)

Today, my girlfriend sent me a naked picture of herself and I wish she hadn't. FML

#2955411
329 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26460) - you deserved it (68149)

On 06/16/2009 at 9:44pm - intimacy - by MisterSeth (man) - United States (Pennsylvania)

Today, I was on the phone with a prospective blind date. He asked me to describe myself so I said that I was fun, attractive and a little chubby but not fat. My 7 year old sister walked up to me and screamed "Jesus doesn't like it when we lie!". FML

#2914098
127 comments

I agree, your life sucks (46006) - you deserved it (13147)

On 06/15/2009 at 3:11pm - love - by apparentlyugly (woman) - United States



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