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emorockerownage's favorite FMLs
Today, I was taking a placement test for the new college I am going to. After the test and picking up a few numbers, I left with great pride. I opened the door and started walking out. I then realized that I had walked into the closet. FML
by Wrongdoor / 12/06/2009 at 9:58am / United States (Michigan) / Miscellaneous
by lol / 12/06/2009 at 9:03am / United Kingdom (North East Lincolnshire) / Health
by flying_vegan / 12/06/2009 at 8:24am / United Kingdom / Transportation
Today, my mom told me that I am going to end up getting myself pregnant. I am 21 and a virgin. She continued to yell at me and call me a liar all night. I don't know which is worse, being a 21 year old virgin or my mother accusing me of lying about it. FML
by virginmary / 12/06/2009 at 3:07am / United States (Maryland) / Miscellaneous
Today, I went to the store to buy some groceries. Several hours later I realize that I can't find my wallet. After looking all over my house and then the store parking lot, I had my credit cards cancelled. On the drive home, I feel something under me. It was my wallet. FML
by life_suxxx / 12/06/2009 at 2:43am / United States (Mississippi) / Money
Today, I got really sick at my boyfriend's house, and barely made it to the toilet in time to throw up. it got on my shirt so I asked if I could borrow one of his. He said I could wear one of his dad's shirts because he didn't want his to get too stretched out. FML
by barfyshirt / 12/06/2009 at 12:25am / United States (California) / Love
Today, my friend and I went to see our favorite band in concert. We walked at least a mile from our parking space and stood in line for two hours. My friend was supposed to have the tickets in her purse. She actually had, but she left her purse in the car. FML
by musiclover / 12/06/2009 at 12:05am / United States (Florida) / Miscellaneous
Today, I realized I've lived alone too long. I read 'How the Grinch Stole Christmas' to my cat. I used expression in my voice, and I made sure he could see the pictures. My son called, and I told him about it. He gave me the number for the local psychiatric ward. FML
by JC / 12/05/2009 at 11:30pm / United States (Iowa) / Animals
Today, I was standing in a long line at the Post Office when my 3 year old son starts rubbing up and down my leg. I asked him what he was doing and he said loudly. "I'm humping you like Simon humps me!" Everyone looks at me in shocked horror. Simon is our dog. FML
by Sissy / 12/05/2009 at 7:04pm / United States (Washington) / Animals
Today, I gave a speech at a charity event in part to help with my shyness. Nobody told me I was standing on top of an air vent. It went on. My skirt flew up, revealing my underwear to 90 people. Nobody remembers the content of my speech. FML
by paula434 / 12/05/2009 at 5:19pm / United States (New York) / Miscellaneous
Today, I was at the beach with my friend for vacation. We were playing Marco Polo in the ocean and I was Marco. I thought I heard my friend, so I lunged forward and grabbed her. Too bad it wasn't my friend, it was an old guy in a pink speedo, and I grabbed his butt. FML
by yoyo22 / 12/05/2009 at 4:04pm / United States / Miscellaneous
by silverlocket / 12/05/2009 at 3:21pm / Dominican Republic (Distrito Nacional) / Love
Today, my girlfriend of two months broke up with me because she said I remind her too much of her first boyfriend and it creeps her out. I've checked with all of her friends and family. I am her first boyfriend. FML
by HellaBomber91 / 12/05/2009 at 2:14pm / United States (West Virginia) / Love
by thewallrules / 12/05/2009 at 9:10am / United States (North Dakota) / Miscellaneous
Today, my family and I noticed that our Christmas tree had been stolen from our front garden. Last night, a group of girls from my village posted a status on Facebook stating how drunk they were, and how they had stolen a Christmas tree. I "liked" it. FML
by Marcella_03 / 12/05/2009 at 8:22am / United Kingdom (London) / Miscellaneous