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emorockerownage's favorite FMLs
Today, I went to pick up my paycheck at the convenience store I work at. While there, two frat boys came in and bought seventeen 30 packs of beer. That comes to about $300. They spent more at the store in one day than I get paid in two weeks. FML
by ditzen / 12/07/2009 at 12:39pm / United States (Arizona) / Money
Today, after complaining to the administration about my roommate, I finally got switched. As I went into the room to meet my new roommate, I found out he was my old roommate's brother. They are exactly the same, and I'm not allowed to switch again. FML
by mylifesuckssomuch3214 / 12/07/2009 at 12:08pm / United States (Florida) / Miscellaneous
Today, my boyfriend asked me why I chose to date him. After going on for five minutes about how unique and funny he is, I ask him the same question. His reply? "You were the first person to ask me out." He then rolled over and fell asleep. FML
by Fluory / 12/07/2009 at 9:43am / United States (Ohio) / Miscellaneous
by Jane / 12/07/2009 at 5:33am / United States (Pennsylvania) / Love
Today, I was doing homework in my room when my roommate started meowing all of a sudden. Not only was he meowing, he started to make loud cat noises that resembled a cat being run over by a car. He's gonna be my roommate for the rest of the year. FML
by SeeMeInTheDark / 12/07/2009 at 3:54am / United States (Maryland) / Animals
by Twiddle / 12/07/2009 at 2:00am / Canada (Ontario) / Miscellaneous
Today, I got a new smart phone and wanted to surprise my girlfriend with a naughty picture with it. A few minutes after sending it, I got a reply back from my girlfriend. And my best friend. And my sister. And everyone on my contacts list. FML
by smart phone mms / 12/07/2009 at 1:36am / United States / Miscellaneous
by CH / 12/07/2009 at 1:06am / United States (Missouri) / Miscellaneous
by proudparent / 12/07/2009 at 12:07am / Canada (Ontario) / Kids
Today, it snowed. So, a guy I like and I decided to go sledding. I really wanted to impress him by going down the hill and casually slowing down at the bottom right at his feet. Instead, I crashed into him and broke his ankle. FML
by Anonymous / 12/06/2009 at 10:32pm / United States (Virginia) / Miscellaneous
Today, I was on a red-eye flight, and the woman beside me was chattering loudly to her friend. I opened my laptop and got to work. Suddenly, one of the women turned to me and told me that the clicking of my keyboard was too loud. She then called me an inconsiderate selfish bitch. FML
by HassledAirfarer / 12/06/2009 at 9:08pm / United States (California) / Transportation
Today, I got a birthday present from my boyfriend's mom. It was ProActiv acne solution. He tried to make me feel better by explaining it's because she wants to be able to include me in family pictures. FML
by Anonymous / 12/06/2009 at 5:13pm / United States (South Carolina) / Love
by Bill / 12/06/2009 at 3:28pm / United States (Minnesota) / Kids
Today, I was at the costume rental shop I work at, when I saw a kid trying to walk out the door wearing what appeared to be one of our fake monster claws, so I chased him down and grabbed it. It wasn't. It was his prosthetic hand. FML
by lolfayce / 12/06/2009 at 1:37pm / United States (Arizona) / Miscellaneous
Today, my 15 year old son told me he had his first kiss. I told him how I was the same age when I had mine, and then I told him all kinds of wild stories about things I did in my childhood and college life. Truth is, I made them all up. I didn't get kissed till I was 24, and laid till I was 28. FML
by Sadface / 12/06/2009 at 12:34pm / United States (Florida) / Kids
- Today, I was making out with my boyfriend and he was fingering me. After he left, my mum says to me… Today, my girlfriend of over a year said she has been faking her orgasms since the first time we've… Today, my boyfriend and I were at his house having sex. After about 30 minutes, his mom came home…