About emorockerownage : This site owns
50 favourites
Love knows no boundaries. You’ve already got 50 FMLs in your favourites list!
Consolation prize
Your FML was denied. We had to at least give you a badge to cheer you up a bit.
It’s in the can
Hey, you uploaded your photo, and you’re cute as a kitten!
Today, I was talking to my girlfriend on Facebook. She's in the forces, and it was her birthday. I asked her if she liked the flowers I sent her. She thanked me, then asked if she could remove our relationship status. When I asked why, she said, "It's not like we're really going out anymore." FML
I agree, your life sucks (26374) - you deserved it (1660)
On 12/09/2009 at 7:31am - love - by im_not_me (man) - Australia (Victoria)
Today, my greatgrandpa came over for dinner. Halfway through the meal, he pooped himself. My family went through the rest of the meal acting like we hadn't noticed to avoid embarassment. As it was coming to an end, my sister came home and immediately yelled, "Ew! Did someone poop?" He cried. FML
I agree, your life sucks (34999) - you deserved it (1926)
On 12/09/2009 at 2:39am - misc - by PoorGramps - United States (Texas)
Today, I was eating a bag of almonds I got from the bulk food store, picking off what I thought was stringy remnants of their shells. When I finally got down to the bottom of the bag, I found a silk worm circling around the last almond left of a bag of about 200. FML
I agree, your life sucks (23801) - you deserved it (4064)
On 12/09/2009 at 12:25am - health - by somechick (woman) - Canada (Ontario)
Today, I was cleaning out my new guinea pig cage for the first time because one of them had babies last night. After using a spatula to shovel up the 3 inch layer of crap and placenta, I decided to hose it down. The hose came on so hard, it sprayed the dung and birth water all over my face. FML
I agree, your life sucks (8965) - you deserved it (17993)
On 12/09/2009 at 12:07am - animals - by poohead (woman) - Australia (Queensland)
Today, I got stuck in the snow in the middle of street. As I was just beginning to get myself unstuck, the snow plow came by and buried the front end of my car. FML
I agree, your life sucks (18637) - you deserved it (1271)
On 12/08/2009 at 10:03pm - misc - by HoHoSnow (woman) - United States (Nebraska)
Today, I was going to ask my parents for advice on how to get my ex-girlfriend back. I overheard them talking about how glad they were that their plan to break us up worked so well. I don't think I should ask for advice anymore. FML
I agree, your life sucks (24868) - you deserved it (1579)
On 12/08/2009 at 7:44pm - love - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Florida)
Today, while sleeping over at my guy friend's house, I woke up mid-air after falling off his abnormally high loft bed. Luckily, there was a table and 3 shot glasses to break my fall. FML
I agree, your life sucks (16801) - you deserved it (2354)
On 12/08/2009 at 7:23pm - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (California)
Today, I used the bathroom that the high school shares with elementary kids. As I was pulling my pants down, my phone fell out of my pocket into the other stall. As I was reaching for it, the little girl in the other stall took it and ran away. FML
I agree, your life sucks (26390) - you deserved it (3109)
On 12/08/2009 at 5:02pm - kids - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (New York)
Today, I went to the ice cream shop after dinner. I am deathly allergic to nuts so I picked the vanilla. I take one bite and feel something crunchy, and see what I thought was an almond in the cup. I spit out the icecream in a panic. Good news? It wasn't an almond. Bad news? It was a cockroach. FML
I agree, your life sucks (35043) - you deserved it (1535)
On 12/08/2009 at 3:18pm - misc - by Anonymous - United States (Florida)
Today, I was at Target buying four coloring books. As I was in line, the woman behind me said that buying coloring books was a good idea to keep my kids occupied. I smiled and said that it would give me a few minutes to relax. I am a 26 year old guy with no kids. The coloring books were for me. FML
I agree, your life sucks (11290) - you deserved it (25006)
On 12/08/2009 at 1:06pm - kids - by 2old4thiscrap (man) - United States (New York)
Today, I was fired because I skipped a week of work without calling nor telling anyone. His secretary forgot to tell him about my scheduled days off for anticipation for my daughter's birth. My boss had already hired someone else so he gave me his secretary's job. Wrong time for a pay decrease. FML
I agree, your life sucks (28414) - you deserved it (1837)
On 12/08/2009 at 10:30am - money - by solarecliptic (man) - United States (Virginia)
Today, I slipped on the new snow and sprained my ankle. As my mom and I were leaving the emergency room, she says, "You owe me $4 for parking," and she meant it. FML
I agree, your life sucks (20964) - you deserved it (2586)
On 12/08/2009 at 10:19am - health - by redcherries90 (woman) - United States (Illinois)
Today, in aerobics, while stretching, my friend leaned over to pull the long hair off my pants. It was my pubic hair sticking through my pants, and I screamed. FML
I agree, your life sucks (11510) - you deserved it (32015)
On 12/08/2009 at 3:19am - misc - by cookscatastrophy - United States (California)
Today, I was visited by Child Protective Services. Seems someone on my street reported me for neglect because I cloth diaper my children. I moved in less than 6 months ago, so I guess this is how they say, "welcome to the neighborhood" about these parts. FML
I agree, your life sucks (24550) - you deserved it (2402)
On 12/08/2009 at 2:02am - kids - by ClothMom (woman) - United States (Hawaii)
Today, I gave my sister some Lubriderm for a skin condition we share. While she was applying the lotion I joking said "Wouldn't it be funny if it made it worse?" Guess who got punched in the face, twice, because it did. FML
I agree, your life sucks (8480) - you deserved it (15066)
On 12/08/2009 at 1:53am - health - by Anonymous - United States (Oregon)
Wednesday 15 May 2013
The website: FML t-shirts -
Love - Animals - Money - Kids - Work - Health - Intimacy - Miscellaneous - Members
RSS feeds: 
Follow the FML 
Follow the FML blog 
Follow the FML comments
Go on the road: BlackBerry - Android - iPhone/iPod Touch - Windows Phone 7 - Mobile version
Give stuff to people: FML book - FML t-shirts
FML Everywhere: Français - Italiano - Español - Türk - Pусский - Svenskt - Indonesia
