Submit your FML story

  • - Concept : An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
  • - CAUTION: Read your message over. Please don't use text language and avoid making too many spelling mistakes.
  • - Please note that spam and nonsensical stories will result in you being blocked from accessing FML.
Your nick :
Categories :
Man or woman?

emorockerownage

Search for a member

emorockerownage
  • Town/Country : bayville, United States
  • Title : Mister
  • Birth Date : Friday 8 November 1985 (27 years)
  • Number of visits : 43528
  • Number of comments : 126
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 3 posted

About emorockerownage : This site owns

emorockerownage's last visitors

shorty6823soccermaniac101ugh_zuzuMizzesbestiejmcgee17plaguerdaffyduck16saintlouiebSilverPseudoKing

emorockerownage's FML badges

50 favourites

Love knows no boundaries. You’ve already got 50 FMLs in your favourites list!

Consolation prize

Your FML was denied. We had to at least give you a badge to cheer you up a bit.

It’s in the can

Hey, you uploaded your photo, and you’re cute as a kitten!

See all of emorockerownage's badges

emorockerownage's favorite FMLs

Today, I broke up with my girlfriend because I couldn't trust her after cheating on me with 3 guys. Our friends are sad about it so they're throwing her a pity party. Now I'm single and I have no friends. FML

#6441819
98 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29132) - you deserved it (2650)

On 11/25/2009 at 2:57am - love - by whatthewhat? - United States

Today, I was working at a children's play centre, and my stomach was twisting and turning. Thinking no one was around, I let out a small fart, only to turn and see a little girl running to her mom yelling, "Mommy-mommy that lady just farted and it sounded like daddy!" FML

#6441579
38 comments

I agree, your life sucks (9088) - you deserved it (2534)

On 11/25/2009 at 2:36am - kids - by n/a - United States

Today, my roommate of seven weeks decided to kick me out. He blames me for the stains on his expensive white leather couch, even after a prof cleaner determined it was red wine. I don't drink red wine. He does. FML

#6441828
49 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21157) - you deserved it (1174)

On 11/25/2009 at 2:35am - misc - by Anonymous - United States (Delaware)

Today, I was told by my mother that the reason she quit her job as a counselor and divorced my dad was because she met someone through work. She works in a prison. FML

#6441636
59 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23205) - you deserved it (1302)

On 11/25/2009 at 1:42am - misc - by CT (man) - United States (Nebraska)

Today, while on a vacation, I tried to step out of myself and flirt with this boy who I thought was cute. He was going along with it and nodding so I thought it was working. Then he opened his mouth and I realized he didn't speak English. FML

#6441496
38 comments

I agree, your life sucks (18051) - you deserved it (4660)

On 11/25/2009 at 1:06am - love - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (California)

Today, I was fired by one of my bosses for doing something the other boss told me to do. I work for a family company. Turns out my bosses are going through a divorce and will do anything to prove the other wrong. FML

#6440227
39 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25679) - you deserved it (1070)

On 11/24/2009 at 8:54pm - work - by Anon (man) - New Zealand (Wellington)

Today, I was walking through the streets with my best friend, feeling confident in my new skinny jeans. My friend said, "you really should be wearing a thong with those pants, your underwear line is showing". I was wearing a thong, those lines were just my fat rolls. FML

#6439665
213 comments

I agree, your life sucks (9357) - you deserved it (31622)

On 11/24/2009 at 8:05pm - misc - by xkellybabyyx - United States (Connecticut)

Today, while at work, I was picking up paper in the bathroom. In one stall I saw what I thought was a wadded piece of the brown paper to dry your hands. It wasn't until I realized it was sticking to my bare hand that I realized it was feces. Human feces. FML

#6439619
73 comments

I agree, your life sucks (20066) - you deserved it (10119)

On 11/24/2009 at 8:00pm - misc - by Oddity_C - United States (Florida)

Today, I realized that our generation will be remembered as the kids who liked sparkly vampires. FML

#6439149
352 comments

I agree, your life sucks (61704) - you deserved it (9228)

On 11/24/2009 at 7:08pm - misc - by buhknee - United States (North Carolina)

Today, some girl punched me in the face and left a huge purple bruise. Apparently her boyfriend has been cheating on her with me because she always sees him walking me home. Her boyfriend is my older brother who didn't bother telling her who I was because "he wanted to see what she would do." FML

#6438315
70 comments

I agree, your life sucks (34000) - you deserved it (1595)

On 11/24/2009 at 5:47pm - misc - by DayamyWuzHere (woman) - United States

Today, I felt dizzy and light-headed. So I sat down at the top of my stairs calling my brother who was downstairs, for help because I was scared something was wrong with me. He called back "No, I'm eating." I fainted. When I woke up, I was still alone upstairs and he was still eating downstairs. FML

#6436663
55 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22260) - you deserved it (2282)

On 11/24/2009 at 3:07pm - health - by Foodcomesfirst (woman) - United Kingdom

Today, I watched Paranormal Activity which is known to be the scariest film ever. After the film, I went to brush my teeth and out of the corner of my eye I saw the bathroom door closing by itself. I jumped out of my skin and stabbed myself in the eye with my toothbrush. It was just my dog. FML

#6436100
138 comments

I agree, your life sucks (8679) - you deserved it (3271)

On 11/24/2009 at 1:45pm - animals - by J (woman) - United Kingdom (Somerset)

Today, I finally received a paycheck for the first time in six months. I celebrated by promptly falling down a flight of stairs and losing consciousness. FML

#6422914
50 comments

I agree, your life sucks (17730) - you deserved it (3388)

On 11/23/2009 at 5:12pm - work - by DBR (man) - United States (New York)

Today, I went over to my best friend's house only to have his little brother run up to us and confess his love to me. His little brother is twelve and I've tutored him for a year. I'm seventeen and male. Now my best friend thinks I 'taught' him something weird. He won't talk to me. FML

#6422707
58 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23767) - you deserved it (1606)

On 11/23/2009 at 4:14pm - misc - by Yue (man) - Canada (Ontario)

Today, I was snuggling with my boyfriend on the couch. We ended up falling asleep, and when I woke up I felt a slobberly substance running down my face. It turns out, my boyfriend drooled so much, it filled my ear and overflowed onto my face. FML

#6422671
74 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29916) - you deserved it (2681)

On 11/23/2009 at 4:11pm - love - by TheGirl (woman) - United States (New York)



Allison Myres Perry & Jim Perry 's illustrated FML

Artist's interview

All illustrated FMLs

FML's blog

  • FML’s Roommates from hell
  • If we could, we’d probably all live on our own. Exotic dancers would do our cleaning and housework; bartenders would serve us glamorous cocktails with mini paper umbrellas in them every hour on the dot. We would…

Monday 20 May 2013

The whole blog

FMyLife, world tour

Available on: