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You've looked for Santa absolutely everywhere, and you managed to find him. Well done!
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In "Moderate the FMLs", you voted Yes on a story that was subsequently published. Well done!
emorockerownage's favorite FMLs
Today, I was prank called yet again by someone asking for a game that was released over 10 years ago. The store I work at only sells modern titles, and I angrily slammed the phone down. My boss saw and fired me on the spot. FML
by rashpimplezitz / 09/08/2013 at 12:22am / United States (California) / Work
Today, I went to the pharmacy to buy condoms. My card was declined, and I had to stand and watch in morbid fascination as the man behind me kindly paid for my purchase. His reason was "God forbid a maxed out Visa should get in the way of fucking." FML
by Samprib / 06/01/2013 at 1:09am / United States (Indiana) / Intimacy
by Anonymous / 04/17/2013 at 1:39am / United States (California) / Intimacy
Today, I refused to go down on my boyfriend of 9 months. He then shoved me off the couch and, half crying, yelled that I was the third girl this week to turn him down. After sobbing for a bit, he looked me in the eyes and said, "I need you to do this so I can prove my manhood." FML
by saywhat / 04/09/2013 at 7:05am / United States (Washington) / Intimacy
Today, I awoke to my husband talking to someone on the phone at 2am. I heard him say, "Baby you're making me hard." Immediately, I asked him who he was talking to. His response? "It's Jake, from State Farm." FML
by anonymous / 03/27/2013 at 7:55pm / United States (Hawaii) / Intimacy
by Joel / 08/25/2010 at 3:13pm / United States (California) / Work
by SadFace / 03/07/2010 at 1:54pm / United States (Michigan) / Miscellaneous
by littmild / 03/02/2010 at 8:42am / Norway (Telemark) / Miscellaneous
by Vastu / 02/07/2010 at 12:42pm / Nepal / Money
Today, my mom and I went to the mall to look for some boxer briefs. While looking, I saw two girls I knew from school, so I went over to say hello. At least, that was my plan, but my mom screamed, "Look! These have dinosaurs on them!" They left the store giggling. FML
by dinosaurboy / 02/06/2010 at 3:01pm / United States (Georgia) / Miscellaneous
by fuckmylife / 02/02/2010 at 3:30pm / United States (Maryland) / Kids
Today, while at a party, Journey's "Don't Stop Believin'" started playing. For being the only one who didn't know the lyrics, I had beer thrown on me, my shirt stolen, and I was locked outside for half an hour. It's below freezing. FML
by Anonymous / 01/31/2010 at 12:07pm / United Kingdom (Essex) / Miscellaneous
by Anonymous / 01/31/2010 at 5:16am / United States (Oregon) / Love
by shitface / 01/25/2010 at 5:18am / Australia (Queensland) / Kids
- Today, recently my family has been keeping everything a mouse can get into out of their reach so as… Today, I tried to wake up my boyfriend for morning sex with a Blowjob, he woke up looked at me said… Today,I was walking and I thought I saw a dollar bill. So I bent down to pick it up, only to have…