Submit your FML story

  • - Concept: An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
  • - CAUTION: Read your message over. Please don't use text language and avoid making too many spelling mistakes.
  • - Please note that spam and nonsensical stories will result in you being blocked from accessing FML.
Your nick:
Categories :
Man or woman?

emoflopkitteh

Search for a member

emoflopkitteh
  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Not specified
  • Birth Date : Not specified
  • Number of visits : 315
  • Number of comments : 9
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 3 posted

This member hasn't filled in the description.

emoflopkitteh's last visitors

closetrebel

emoflopkitteh's FML badges

How depressing, no badges acquired at all. :/

emoflopkitteh's favorite FMLs

Today, my dad met my fiancé's dad for the first time. My fiancé's dad is a cop. He had arrested my dad for indecent exposure in the past. FML

#17691759
82 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31903) - you deserved it (2365)

On 09/07/2011 at 9:22pm - intimacy - by lolomg (woman) - New Zealand (Wellington)

Today, I was giving a talk in class, when halfway through someone pointed out that my pubes were sticking out my trousers. FML

#17690152
145 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22884) - you deserved it (12097)

On 09/07/2011 at 6:14pm - work - by Sammylad - United Kingdom (London)

Today, I received an email from my boyfriend. It contained a link to a site that was titled "How to Give Head". It also said "Have a nice day!" FML

#17688076
127 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23476) - you deserved it (6685)

On 09/07/2011 at 12:16pm - intimacy - by thismakesmesad (woman) - United States (Oregon)

Today, I lied to my diary about getting laid. FML

#17686832
176 comments

I agree, your life sucks (36752) - you deserved it (25389)

On 09/07/2011 at 4:51am - intimacy - by sadsadperson (woman) - Australia (Victoria)

Today, I gave my boyfriend a blowjob. It gave him a panic attack. FML

#17685496
149 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28569) - you deserved it (4580)

On 09/07/2011 at 12:10am - intimacy - by Nublet (woman) - United States

Today, my roommate got completely wasted. He was so drunk he thought the fridge was talking. He decided to make it stop by unplugging it. Most of our food is basically ruined now. FML

Today, my grandmother pulled down her pants and screamed, "Kiss my ass" in the middle of a packed restaurant. FML

#17669006
138 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27326) - you deserved it (2567)

On 09/05/2011 at 9:00am - misc - by Brie - United States (Georgia)

Today, my dad got into an argument with the cashier about how overpriced the scented tampons were. FML

#17663031
160 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25010) - you deserved it (2201)

On 09/04/2011 at 5:17pm - misc - by ohaifml - United States (Texas)

Today, I walked in on my boyfriend masturbating furiously. To Star Trek. FML

#17657733
206 comments

I agree, your life sucks (34136) - you deserved it (5080)

On 09/04/2011 at 12:08am - intimacy - by May - United States (New York)

Today, working as a nurse, I asked a 61-year-old patient if he did any physical activity. His reply was, "Well, I do masturbate a lot". He then went on to describe the various techniques he uses. FML

#17643019
82 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25710) - you deserved it (2682)

On 09/02/2011 at 8:47am - intimacy - by rochellamaya - Canada (Alberta)

Today, at work, my boss stared at me from behind while I made hand gestures and noises at a toaster. I was pretending to be Magneto. FML

#17642045
100 comments

I agree, your life sucks (8102) - you deserved it (27163)

On 09/02/2011 at 3:48am - work - by dragos_dgt (man) - Romania (Bucuresti)

Today, I got circumcised by my zipper. FML

#16205540
342 comments

I agree, your life sucks (59359) - you deserved it (9353)

On 05/16/2011 at 12:33pm - health - by Bobby M - Ireland (Carlow)

Today, I noticed that after a month of using my gel, it never seems to empty. I then found out my older brother and his friends had been pumping their man-juice into it. FML

#14838014
208 comments

I agree, your life sucks (65525) - you deserved it (6031)

On 02/04/2011 at 9:08am - intimacy - by theish -

Today, while losing my virginity to my boyfriend, I had my first orgasm. I don't remember much of what I said during, but after it was all over, he looks at me and says, "You have terrible grammar during climax." FML

#8265301
124 comments

I agree, your life sucks (17094) - you deserved it (4589)

On 02/14/2010 at 8:23pm - intimacy - by klsdhjla (woman) - United States (Texas)

Today, when putting something away on a high shelf, something small and black fell down my cleavage. I thought nothing of it and finished the task at hand. When I pulled out the neck of my shirt later to find it and looked down, glaring up at me from my boobs was a large, disgruntled spider. FML

#6401291
57 comments

I agree, your life sucks (16655) - you deserved it (2917)

On 11/22/2009 at 3:35am - intimacy - by Arachnaphobic (woman) - United States (Oregon)



Bénédicte's illustrated FML

The Artist's interview

All illustrated FMLs

FML's blog

  • Bénédicte's Illustrated FML
  • "If drawing stuff is the food of love, then get a better pencil." That's not a real expression, I just made it up because I needed a good opening line. It's not even that good of an opening line, but…

Thursday 10 April 2014

The whole blog

FMyLife, world tour

Available on: