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emmy627

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emmy627

0Fucked!

  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Miss
  • Birth Date : Saturday 2 March 1991 (24 years)
  • <3 status : Not specified
  • Number of visits : 421
  • Number of comments : 13
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 1 posted

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emmy627's page activity

Visits<b>TEZZ</b> - the 07/17/2013 at 9:58am

emmy627's FML badges

Beginner

You have looked through 5 pages of the website. That’s a start.

Consolation prize

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emmy627's favorite FMLs

Today, I walked in on my dad introducing his stuffed gorilla to his cat. FML

#19625273
133 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21144) - you deserved it (2636)

On 05/14/2012 at 11:52pm - misc - by Anonymous - United States

Today, I was at the supermarket checkout. I handed over my items, which included some tampons, tissues, and toilet roll. The security guard standing beside the cashier remarked loudly, "I'll be damned; she's flowing from every hole!" FML

#19623439
228 comments

I agree, your life sucks (39525) - you deserved it (4086) - Translated from the french version of FML. Bon appétit!

On 05/14/2012 at 6:23pm - misc - by lafinesse (woman) -

Today, I realized that all the times I checked behind the shower curtain before peeing didn't prepare me for what to do if someone was actually there. FML

#19616275
218 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30579) - you deserved it (3584)

On 05/13/2012 at 11:12am - misc - by Anonymous - United States (Massachusetts)

Today, I asked my dad if my girlfriend could sleep over. He winked at me and agreed. When I brought her home, we went to my room for a quickie. There, I saw that my dad had taped multiple Richard Simmons posters to the wall, causing my girlfriend to suddenly come down with a "headache." FML

#19607447
166 comments

I agree, your life sucks (12787) - you deserved it (20906)

On 05/11/2012 at 2:29pm - love - by cockblocked (man) - United States (South Carolina)

Today, I had to get a prostate exam. Right before the doctor started, he told me that if I found it awkward at all, I should just imagine I was being probed by aliens. FML

#19603388
101 comments

I agree, your life sucks (20738) - you deserved it (2033)

On 05/10/2012 at 5:22pm - health - by Jesse (man) - United States (Washington)

Today, I was at my job in the Halloween store. I had to tell someone, "Please stop hitting the Bieber wig with that pimp cane." FML

Today, I was working the drive-thru at McDonalds, and as I handed out a Diet coke to the customer, the man started growling and yelled "HULK SMASH!" He smashed the cup with two fists and drove off. I was drenched in soda. FML

#16827191
238 comments

I agree, your life sucks (36837) - you deserved it (4605)

On 06/24/2011 at 12:46am - work - by Sam (man) - Canada (Alberta)

Today, I'm in Spain, and told the kids with whom I will be working that I was excited to be working with them. Only the form of excitement I used apparently refers to sexual excitement. Basically, I told the kids I was sexually aroused to be working with them. FML

#30294
53 comments

I agree, your life sucks (45482) - you deserved it (13431)

On 02/12/2009 at 7:14am - intimacy - by thegoldenboy3 (man) - Spain (Andalucia)

Today, while in our communal showers in the highschool football locker room, I started to swing my penis around because it feels good and I was alone. Two minutes later the rest of the team hops into the shower with me. 30 dudes, one self-induced boner. FML

#21808
88 comments

I agree, your life sucks (11337) - you deserved it (69534)

On 02/10/2009 at 7:01pm - intimacy - by JLoistheBomb (man) - United States (New York)



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