About emilybailey : I'm a ginger!
And I love dog shows and my Italian greyhound
About emilybailey : I'm a ginger!
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emilybailey's favorite FMLs
Today, I awoke to my husband talking to someone on the phone at 2am. I heard him say, "Baby you're making me hard." Immediately, I asked him who he was talking to. His response? "It's Jake, from State Farm." FML
by anonymous / 03/27/2013 at 7:55pm / United States (Hawaii) / Intimacy
by Anonymous / 02/09/2013 at 3:03pm / United States (California) / Kids
Today, while trying to take my Christmas tree down, I learned that at some point during the last few weeks, it became home to a colony of green ants. I'm now covered in bites and terrified to go anywhere near it. FML
by Anonymous / 12/27/2012 at 5:54pm / Australia / Health
by Anonymous / 09/16/2012 at 11:32am / United States (Massachusetts) / Miscellaneous
by Anonymous / 08/07/2012 at 4:13pm / Canada (Quebec) / Love
Today, I finally got to see my boyfriend, after two months apart. As we hugged, he lifted me up and spun me around like in the movies. It would have been really romantic if I hadn't hit a little boy while he was riding past on his bike. I've just traumatized a little kid. FML
by Jessi / 07/24/2012 at 2:33pm / Canada (Ontario) / Kids
by jnr1234 / 06/19/2012 at 10:15pm / United States (New Jersey) / Animals
Today, I was having a debate with my friend over tattoos. I used the example that you wouldn't put a bumper sticker on a Ferrari. He looked me in the eye and said, "Yeah, but you're no Ferrari. More like a Prius." FML
by kitty shah / 06/17/2012 at 1:01pm / United States / Miscellaneous
by Darwin_Award_Winner / 06/07/2012 at 8:10am / United States (Texas) / Health
Today, I texted my friend and asked her what her sad status on Facebook was about. She texted me back saying her step-mother had passed away. I tried to reply with "awwh" but my phone autocorrected it to "ahaha." FML
by iPhonekid / 05/27/2012 at 3:19am / United States (Texas) / Miscellaneous
Today, it was my birthday. I was heading back to my apartment and I heard noises inside the door. Assuming it was the surprise party I'd hinted at, I flicked on the lights as two heavy guys pushed past me. I was robbed. FML
by Anonymous / 05/10/2012 at 8:28pm / United States / Money
by sockmonkey / 04/30/2012 at 10:21pm / United States (California) / Miscellaneous
by CA19oo / 03/19/2012 at 9:03pm / United States (Georgia) / Animals
by Anonymous / 03/06/2012 at 11:03pm / United States (Florida) / Animals
Today, I was going over to my friend's house for the first time. A creepy-looking old man answered, and smiled at me. I asked "Is this the right house? Does Isaac live here?" He replied "Yes, he's in the basement. Would you like a drink?" Right then, Isaac called and asked me where I was. FML
by Anonymous / 01/01/2012 at 2:34am / United States (Kansas) / Miscellaneous
- Today, I just got done reading all the healthy benefits that come with sex. One of them is higher… Today, I was rushed to the hospital to deliver my child. On the way, I called my husband who was in… Today, my boyfriend still couldn't work out where my clitoris is. It's RIGHT THERE, you idiot. I've…