About emeraldon : 21-year old from Norway! Feel free to send a message, I love to chat with new people! :))))))
Why am I up so early?
You commented on an FML between 6 and 7 am.
Judgmental
You’ve now voted that they totally deserved it more than 100 times.
Mobility
You are connected to FML via the mobile site or an app. How modern.
Today, after suffering with bad constipation and having to eat special bread to get me to go, I have practically just pooped out a week's worth of food in 15 minutes, and I'm still going. I've passed the ring of fire stage, now I just can't feel my asshole. FML
I agree, your life sucks (118) - you deserved it (2722)
On 02/27/2012 at 10:55am - health - by awhmaaan - United Kingdom
Today, my mother came home from the grocery store with a 20kg bag of carrots, and nothing else. She then informed me that, for as long as my girlfriend and I keep 'going at it like rabbits', she would be feeding me like one. FML
I agree, your life sucks (16141) - you deserved it (28370)
Today, my blanket got caught on my nose ring and it took my boyfriend over an hour to get it free. Afterwards, he admitted he was trying not to laugh because it reminded him of a bullfight. FML
I agree, your life sucks (8723) - you deserved it (18478)
On 01/06/2012 at 3:36pm - misc - by Anonymous - Mexico (Zacatecas)
Today, while in bed with my boyfriend, I accidentally let one slip. While thinking "maybe he didn't hear, maybe he's sleeping", the shaking of the bed from his laughter let me know otherwise. FML
I agree, your life sucks (18794) - you deserved it (6548)
On 01/06/2012 at 10:50am - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States
Today, while spooning my spouse, I was awakened in the wee hours by a huge, junk-rattling fart. This has happened numerous times since she became a vegetarian. FML
I agree, your life sucks (22709) - you deserved it (2493)
On 11/02/2011 at 1:06am - misc - by steve-o - United States
Today, was the last day of the prank war between me and my husband. I told him the last prank needed to be the best one. I took a shower and tried to think up my last prank. When I got out of the shower, my hair was green. FML
I agree, your life sucks (9212) - you deserved it (22744)
On 10/26/2011 at 1:56pm - misc - by mycedes - United States
Today, I introduced my new boyfriend to my parents. Everyone knows he's into the emo scene, but this didn't stop my dad from slowly looking him up and down, then saying, completely deadpan, "You never told us you were a lesbian, honey." FML
I agree, your life sucks (16870) - you deserved it (29239)
On 10/21/2011 at 9:33pm - love - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Pennsylvania)
Today, I wore my brand new Wonderbra to school. When I got home, my dad looked at me and started laughing hysterically. Between breaths, he asked if anyone actually thought my chest was that big and said "You know why it's called a Wonderbra? Guys take it off and wonder where your tits went." FML
I agree, your life sucks (28653) - you deserved it (18156)
On 10/10/2011 at 6:26pm - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (New York)
Today, I was jogging in the neighborhood. My new neighbor who lives three houses down clotheslines me and shouts, "You're the reason my wife won't have sex with me!" He then kicked me in the stomach and walked inside. Now I'm scared to leave my house. FML
I agree, your life sucks (26743) - you deserved it (2339)
On 09/14/2011 at 4:34am - intimacy - by jumpedjogger - United States (Georgia)
Today, while taking a stroll in the park, a kid walked up to me and asked, "Do you believe in unicorns?" I answered, "No." He dunked his ice cream cone on my head, laughed hysterically, and ran off screaming, "BELIEVE!" FML
I agree, your life sucks (22483) - you deserved it (8391)
On 09/13/2011 at 5:21pm - misc - by unicorn - United States (Georgia)
Today, I realized that the place that my brothers and I would find soggy balloons and blow them up when we were younger is where the prostitutes take their clients. We were blowing up used condoms for a good part of our childhood. FML
I agree, your life sucks (71580) - you deserved it (9139)
On 09/12/2011 at 12:15pm - intimacy - by IbetIgotAIDS (man) - United States (Kentucky)
Today, I asked my Dad if it was true that my mother had a C-section at my birth. He replied "Yeah, so technically you weren't even born, you were surgically removed, like a tumor." FML
I agree, your life sucks (29357) - you deserved it (3955)
On 09/01/2011 at 7:40pm - misc - by mannydanny (woman) - United Kingdom (Coventry)
Today, I walked into my shed to find my daughter's boyfriend asleep. He was also completely duct-taped to the ceiling, with his face painted like a clown. FML
I agree, your life sucks (24998) - you deserved it (2203)
On 08/31/2011 at 10:00am - kids - by piece of shed - United States (New York)
Today, I woke up at my girlfriend's house. She was staring at me, holding a knife over my face. She ran away, giggling. FML
I agree, your life sucks (32896) - you deserved it (3156)
On 08/13/2011 at 2:37am - love - by bTOhno - United States (Oklahoma)
Today, my girlfriend freaked out on me because I answered her call on the first ring. According to her, it implies that I'm desperate, always horny, and just want her for the sex. Just last week she got pissed because I waited three rings to answer. Apparently that means I'm cheating on her. FML
I agree, your life sucks (34269) - you deserved it (4574)
Wednesday 15 May 2013
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