Submit your FML story

  • - Concept: An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
  • - CAUTION: Read your message over. Please don't use text language and avoid making too many spelling mistakes.
  • - Please note that spam and nonsensical stories will result in you being blocked from accessing FML.
Your nick:
Categories :
Man or woman?

emeraldon

Search for a member

emeraldon

0Liked!

  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Mister
  • Birth Date : Monday 18 December 1989 (24 years)
  • <3 status : Single
  • Number of visits : 576
  • Number of comments : 8
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 0 posted

About emeraldon : 21-year old from Norway! Feel free to send a message, I love to chat with new people! :))))))

emeraldon's page activity

Visits<b>brianb305</b> - the 02/11/2014 at 8:03am<b>yellowpablo</b> - the 02/07/2014 at 12:59am<b>3idiots</b> - the 12/09/2013 at 4:24am<b>siobhan_mcp</b> - the 08/01/2013 at 6:44pm<b>1018blee</b> - the 02/29/2012 at 3:25pm<b>cam1729</b> - the 11/28/2011 at 4:59pm<b>hellokitty3</b> - the 07/18/2011 at 10:42pm

emeraldon's FML badges

Why am I up so early?

You commented on an FML between 6 and 7 am.

Judgmental

You’ve now voted that they totally deserved it more than 100 times.

Mobility

You are connected to FML via the mobile site or an app. How modern.

See all of emeraldon's badges

emeraldon's favorite FMLs

Today, I rescued a cactus from a lethal fall. It thanked me with a handful of spines. FML

#19188547
130 comments

I agree, your life sucks (8235) - you deserved it (28022)

On 02/29/2012 at 11:52am - misc - by Anonymous - United States

Today, my mother surprised me with a new alarm clock. It's attached to a toy car which races around my room with obnoxious sirens going at full blast until I crawl out of bed and turn it off. She says this will be a regular thing. FML

#19180349
145 comments

I agree, your life sucks (18901) - you deserved it (11466)

On 02/28/2012 at 2:10am - misc - by poop - United States

Today, after suffering with bad constipation and having to eat special bread to get me to go, I have practically just pooped out a week's worth of food in 15 minutes, and I'm still going. I've passed the ring of fire stage, now I just can't feel my asshole. FML

#19174199
278 comments

I agree, your life sucks (34946) - you deserved it (5309)

On 02/27/2012 at 10:55am - health - by awhmaaan - United Kingdom

Today, my mother came home from the grocery store with a 20kg bag of carrots, and nothing else. She then informed me that, for as long as my girlfriend and I keep 'going at it like rabbits', she would be feeding me like one. FML

#18733573
227 comments

I agree, your life sucks (19853) - you deserved it (39107)

On 01/07/2012 at 5:27am - intimacy - by Danny - Australia

Today, my blanket got caught on my nose ring and it took my boyfriend over an hour to get it free. Afterwards, he admitted he was trying not to laugh because it reminded him of a bullfight. FML

#18726895
100 comments

I agree, your life sucks (10702) - you deserved it (26608)

On 01/06/2012 at 3:36pm - misc - by Anonymous - Mexico (Zacatecas)

Today, while in bed with my boyfriend, I accidentally let one slip. While thinking "maybe he didn't hear, maybe he's sleeping", the shaking of the bed from his laughter let me know otherwise. FML

#18725237
155 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24198) - you deserved it (8581)

On 01/06/2012 at 10:50am - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States

Today, while spooning my spouse, I was awakened in the wee hours by a huge, junk-rattling fart. This has happened numerous times since she became a vegetarian. FML

#18135742
170 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28113) - you deserved it (3317)

On 11/02/2011 at 1:06am - misc - by steve-o - United States

Today, was the last day of the prank war between me and my husband. I told him the last prank needed to be the best one. I took a shower and tried to think up my last prank. When I got out of the shower, my hair was green. FML

#18080621
162 comments

I agree, your life sucks (11803) - you deserved it (32874)

On 10/26/2011 at 1:56pm - misc - by mycedes - United States

Today, I introduced my new boyfriend to my parents. Everyone knows he's into the emo scene, but this didn't stop my dad from slowly looking him up and down, then saying, completely deadpan, "You never told us you were a lesbian, honey." FML

#18041675
313 comments

I agree, your life sucks (19975) - you deserved it (33261)

On 10/21/2011 at 9:33pm - love - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Pennsylvania)

Today, I wore my brand new Wonderbra to school. When I got home, my dad looked at me and started laughing hysterically. Between breaths, he asked if anyone actually thought my chest was that big and said "You know why it's called a Wonderbra? Guys take it off and wonder where your tits went." FML

#17953738
432 comments

I agree, your life sucks (34389) - you deserved it (24570)

On 10/10/2011 at 6:26pm - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (New York)

Today, I was jogging in the neighborhood. My new neighbor who lives three houses down clotheslines me and shouts, "You're the reason my wife won't have sex with me!" He then kicked me in the stomach and walked inside. Now I'm scared to leave my house. FML

#17742540
157 comments

I agree, your life sucks (33155) - you deserved it (3214)

On 09/14/2011 at 4:34am - intimacy - by jumpedjogger - United States (Georgia)

Today, while taking a stroll in the park, a kid walked up to me and asked, "Do you believe in unicorns?" I answered, "No." He dunked his ice cream cone on my head, laughed hysterically, and ran off screaming, "BELIEVE!" FML

#17737717
166 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27920) - you deserved it (11461)

On 09/13/2011 at 5:21pm - misc - by unicorn - United States (Georgia)

Today, I realized that the place that my brothers and I would find soggy balloons and blow them up when we were younger is where the prostitutes take their clients. We were blowing up used condoms for a good part of our childhood. FML

#17727595
390 comments

I agree, your life sucks (85060) - you deserved it (13051)

On 09/12/2011 at 12:15pm - intimacy - by IbetIgotAIDS (man) - United States (Kentucky)

Today, I asked my Dad if it was true that my mother had a C-section at my birth. He replied "Yeah, so technically you weren't even born, you were surgically removed, like a tumor." FML

#17638273
50 comments

I agree, your life sucks (34799) - you deserved it (4389)

On 09/01/2011 at 7:40pm - misc - by mannydanny (woman) - United Kingdom (Coventry)

Today, I walked into my shed to find my daughter's boyfriend asleep. He was also completely duct-taped to the ceiling, with his face painted like a clown. FML

#17628781
221 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30879) - you deserved it (2969)

On 08/31/2011 at 10:00am - kids - by piece of shed - United States (New York)



FML's blog

  • FML on vacation #1: Getting there
  • A lot of people will spout off the tired old cliché that the destination isn't as important as the journey itself. Well, what if you're on your way to the Playboy Mansion then?…

Tuesday 22 July 2014

The whole blog

FMyLife, world tour

Available on: