emeraldon

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emeraldon

1Fucked!

  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Mister
  • Birth Date : Monday 18 December 1989 (26 years old)
  • <3 status : Single
  • Number of visits : 1112
  • Number of comments : 8
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 0 posted

About emeraldon : 21-year old from Norway! Feel free to send a message, I love to chat with new people! :))))))

emeraldon's page activity

Visits<b>heroqucas</b> - the 01/27/2016 at 5:56am<b>fishingforubies2</b> - the 10/13/2015 at 2:50pm<b>TheTshirt</b> - the 07/13/2015 at 11:50am<b>Hiimhaileypotter</b> - the 06/03/2015 at 12:47pm<b>brianb305</b> - the 02/11/2014 at 8:03am<b>yellowpablo</b> - the 02/07/2014 at 12:59am<b>3idiots</b> - the 12/09/2013 at 4:24am<b>siobhan_mcp</b> - the 08/01/2013 at 6:44pm<b>1018blee</b> - the 02/29/2012 at 3:25pm<b>cam1729</b> - the 11/28/2011 at 4:59pm<b>hellokitty3</b> - the 07/18/2011 at 10:42pm

Fucked!<b>TheTshirt</b> - the 07/13/2015 at 5:51pm

emeraldon's FML badges

Why am I up so early?

You commented on an FML between 6 and 7 am.

Judgmental

You’ve now voted that they totally deserved it more than 100 times.

Mobility

You are connected to FML via the mobile site or an app. How modern.

See all of emeraldon's badges

emeraldon's favorite FMLs

Today, I rescued a cactus from a lethal fall. It thanked me with a handful of spines. FML

by Anonymous / 02/29/2012 at 11:52am / United States / Miscellaneous

Today, my mother surprised me with a new alarm clock. It's attached to a toy car which races around my room with obnoxious sirens going at full blast until I crawl out of bed and turn it off. She says this will be a regular thing. FML

by poop / 02/28/2012 at 2:10am / United States / Transportation

Today, after suffering with bad constipation and having to eat special bread to get me to go, I have practically just pooped out a week's worth of food in 15 minutes, and I'm still going. I've passed the ring of fire stage, now I just can't feel my asshole. FML

by awhmaaan / 02/27/2012 at 10:55am / United Kingdom / Health

Today, my mother came home from the grocery store with a 20kg bag of carrots, and nothing else. She then informed me that, for as long as my girlfriend and I keep 'going at it like rabbits', she would be feeding me like one. FML

by Danny / 01/07/2012 at 5:27am / Australia / Intimacy

Today, my blanket got caught on my nose ring and it took my boyfriend over an hour to get it free. Afterwards, he admitted he was trying not to laugh because it reminded him of a bullfight. FML

by Anonymous / 01/06/2012 at 3:36pm / Mexico (Zacatecas) / Miscellaneous

Today, while in bed with my boyfriend, I accidentally let one slip. While thinking "maybe he didn't hear, maybe he's sleeping", the shaking of the bed from his laughter let me know otherwise. FML

by Anonymous / 01/06/2012 at 10:50am / United States / Miscellaneous

Today, while spooning my spouse, I was awakened in the wee hours by a huge, junk-rattling fart. This has happened numerous times since she became a vegetarian. FML

by steve-o / 11/02/2011 at 1:06am / United States / Miscellaneous

Today, was the last day of the prank war between me and my husband. I told him the last prank needed to be the best one. I took a shower and tried to think up my last prank. When I got out of the shower, my hair was green. FML

by mycedes / 10/26/2011 at 1:56pm / United States / Miscellaneous

Today, I introduced my new boyfriend to my parents. Everyone knows he's into the emo scene, but this didn't stop my dad from slowly looking him up and down, then saying, completely deadpan, "You never told us you were a lesbian, honey." FML

by Anonymous / 10/21/2011 at 9:33pm / United States (Pennsylvania) / Love

Today, I wore my brand new Wonderbra to school. When I got home, my dad looked at me and started laughing hysterically. Between breaths, he asked if anyone actually thought my chest was that big and said "You know why it's called a Wonderbra? Guys take it off and wonder where your tits went." FML

by Anonymous / 10/10/2011 at 6:26pm / United States (New York) / Miscellaneous

Today, I was jogging in the neighborhood. My new neighbor who lives three houses down clotheslines me and shouts, "You're the reason my wife won't have sex with me!" He then kicked me in the stomach and walked inside. Now I'm scared to leave my house. FML

by jumpedjogger / 09/14/2011 at 4:34am / United States (Georgia) / Intimacy

Today, while taking a stroll in the park, a kid walked up to me and asked, "Do you believe in unicorns?" I answered, "No." He dunked his ice cream cone on my head, laughed hysterically, and ran off screaming, "BELIEVE!" FML

by unicorn / 09/13/2011 at 5:21pm / United States (Georgia) / Miscellaneous

Today, I realized that the place that my brothers and I would find soggy balloons and blow them up when we were younger is where the prostitutes take their clients. We were blowing up used condoms for a good part of our childhood. FML

by IbetIgotAIDS / 09/12/2011 at 12:15pm / United States (Kentucky) / Intimacy

Today, I asked my Dad if it was true that my mother had a C-section at my birth. He replied "Yeah, so technically you weren't even born, you were surgically removed, like a tumor." FML

by mannydanny / 09/01/2011 at 7:40pm / United Kingdom (Coventry) / Miscellaneous

Today, I walked into my shed to find my daughter's boyfriend asleep and completely duct-taped to the ceiling, with his face painted like a clown. FML

by piece of shed / 08/31/2011 at 10:00am / United States (New York) / Kids