emeraldisle

Search for a member

Online

emeraldisle

175Fucked!

  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Miss
  • Birth Date : Wednesday 21 November 1990 (25 years old)
  • <3 status : With someone
  • Number of visits : 9870
  • Number of comments : 743
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 4 posted

About emeraldisle : I'm awesome and I love cats.

After being on this site for a while, I've come to realise that sarcasm and humour are lost on a lot of people.

Message me if you could like chat on here. Don't message me if you're going to ask me to chat on another app or ask for nudes.

emeraldisle's page activity

Visits<b>ARetardedSeal</b> - 5 hours ago<b>crazy_bananas</b> - 10 hours ago<b>StormfrontX33</b> - yesterday at 12:08am<b>Vokul_Kulaas</b> - yesterday at 9:24pm<b>DA_JUDGE123</b> - the 08/24/2016 at 12:13am<b>Odin1624</b> - the 08/23/2016 at 6:44pm<b>Supersonic54</b> - the 08/23/2016 at 11:40am<b>robsmit98</b> - the 08/22/2016 at 6:27pm<b>funnyhowthatwork</b> - the 08/21/2016 at 2:33am<b>T_Rex561</b> - the 08/20/2016 at 10:45pm<b>spockadelic</b> - the 08/20/2016 at 9:45pm<b>MofoV</b> - the 08/20/2016 at 8:27pm<b>ames909</b> - the 08/20/2016 at 2:13pm<b>trumpet_girl17</b> - the 08/20/2016 at 2:07pm<b>mas12806</b> - the 08/20/2016 at 11:23am<b>DrafteeSelf</b> - the 08/20/2016 at 10:20am<b>dantecarlson</b> - the 08/20/2016 at 8:58am<b>niallo</b> - the 08/20/2016 at 8:51am

Fucked!<b>Teyros</b> - the 08/20/2016 at 7:53am<b>Willman757</b> - the 08/18/2016 at 3:37pm<b>shiba10</b> - the 08/12/2016 at 4:39am<b>S_Melh</b> - the 08/11/2016 at 7:17am<b>tonyfan00</b> - the 08/04/2016 at 3:38am<b>Junkiegamer</b> - the 07/29/2016 at 1:59am<b>Godzillapro14</b> - the 07/28/2016 at 7:19pm<b>zaidthunder1</b> - the 07/19/2016 at 9:14pm<b>AngusEcrivain</b> - the 07/10/2016 at 10:43am<b>Therid</b> - the 05/26/2016 at 1:03pm<b>alphasmartass93</b> - the 04/27/2016 at 7:00am<b>unicornhugger</b> - the 04/20/2016 at 5:31am<b>ssnow</b> - the 04/02/2016 at 12:09pm<b>dimos4ever</b> - the 03/29/2016 at 9:15am<b>spicypie</b> - the 03/21/2016 at 9:22pm<b>AHzulu</b> - the 03/20/2016 at 9:13am<b>fungi0528</b> - the 03/14/2016 at 9:28pm<b>tin_cup</b> - the 03/14/2016 at 1:06am

emeraldisle's FML badges

Santa Claus

You've looked for Santa absolutely everywhere, and you managed to find him. Well done!

One more and it's business time

You've received 68 likes on your profile. Kinky.

Inception

You read an FML that mentions a badge, and in return you've been awarded a badge. A badge inside a badge.

See all of emeraldisle's badges

emeraldisle's favorite FMLs

Today, I told my husband how frisky I was feeling, and asked him what he was going to do about it. He reached into our fruit bowl, tossed me a banana and told me to work it out, then returned to his video game. FML

by Anonymous / 02/15/2014 at 5:44pm / United States (Pennsylvania) / Intimacy

Today, I'm stuck in a hotel with my psychotic mom, all because she swore there were "demonic" noises coming from our oven. Yeah, our oven is totally possessed, you idiot. FML

by fuck my goddamn life / 02/15/2014 at 3:51pm / United States / Miscellaneous

Today, I ran out of toilet paper. I yelled from the bathroom for my parents to bring me some toilet paper. My dad slipped one tiny piece of toilet paper under the door and boomed, "THE FINAL TEST." FML

by airhead2015 / 02/12/2014 at 12:57pm / United States (Tennessee) / Miscellaneous

Today, someone hit my parked car. The impact caused the front of the car to go up onto the sidewalk, and I got a ticket for parking there. FML

by ccgundum / 02/01/2014 at 2:47am / Canada (British Columbia) / Miscellaneous

Today, I finally finished making my daughter's wedding cake. When I checked on it later, I found a large slice had been cut out. I soon found out that my husband had instagrammed himself eating it, with the caption "#guiltypleasures". FML

by Anonymous / 01/31/2014 at 11:36am / United Kingdom / Miscellaneous

Today, I had an upset stomach all day at work. When lunch break came, I rushed to the bathroom. Just as I turned into an unstoppable human whoopie cushion, a co-worker walked in. He heard the entire arse symphony, and just asked "What the fuck, dude?!" as he left. FML

by Anonymous / 01/30/2014 at 5:46pm / United Kingdom (Lancashire) / Work

Today, my boyfriend proposed: he told me the feeling he gets from being in love with me is the best feeling in the world, even better than the feeling he gets when he poops. FML

by Anonymous / 01/25/2014 at 10:43am / United States (New York) / Love

Today, I was told I looked like Beaker from the Muppets. After doing a side-by-side comparison, I realized it's true. FML

by cjgreer70 / 01/18/2014 at 6:09pm / United States (Oregon) / Miscellaneous

Today, after his sixth beer, my dad looked me in the eye and said "I've never forgiven you for what you did to your mother's vagina". FML

by Anonymous / 01/12/2014 at 1:38am / Australia (Queensland) / Miscellaneous

Today, I was getting ready for a night out with the girls, and without any hint of trickery, just wanting an honest answer, I asked my boyfriend how I looked in the dress I chose. He immediately dropped to his knees, yelled, "NOOOOOOOOO!" and calmly left the room. FML

by -_-" / 01/11/2014 at 6:13pm / United States (New York) / Miscellaneous

Today, I texted my boyfriend of two years and asked if he wanted to go to ball with me. His response was "The person you are trying to message cancelled their phone service and moved to Mexico. Taco taco burrito." I'll take that as a no. FML

by rollergirl13 / 01/11/2014 at 12:55am / United States (Alaska) / Love

Today, I asked my mum when she gets the urge to smoke. The answer I was looking for was "after I eat" or maybe even "when I'm tired". What I got was "every second since you were born". FML

by BornToBeABurden / 01/09/2014 at 11:01am / United Kingdom (London, City of) / Love

Today, I tried to prove to my girlfriend how much I've matured and that our relationship comes before anything else in my life. So I went to delete my character in World of Warcraft. I tried to confirm it, but I couldn't, breaking down in tears instead. FML

by Anonymous / 12/30/2013 at 12:20pm / United States / Love

Today, my 4-year-old daughter figured out how to set a parental code lock on our television so we can't watch football because it scares her when we scream. She won't tell us no matter what we bribe her with. FML

by Anonymous / 12/30/2013 at 7:10am / Australia (New South Wales) / Kids

Today, I went to take a shower. When I turned it on, no water came out. Only ants. FML

by anon / 12/27/2013 at 2:28am / Canada (New Brunswick) / Miscellaneous