emeraldisle

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emeraldisle

165Fucked!

  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Miss
  • Birth Date : Wednesday 21 November 1990 (25 years old)
  • <3 status : With someone
  • Number of visits : 8910
  • Number of comments : 726
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 4 posted

About emeraldisle : I'm awesome and I love cats.

After being on this site for a while, I've come to realise that sarcasm and humour are lost on a lot of people.

emeraldisle's page activity

Visits<b>PhantomKitty</b> - the 05/26/2016 at 8:51pm<b>Therid</b> - the 05/26/2016 at 7:03am<b>itsdatboi</b> - the 05/23/2016 at 9:44am<b>Jdawg445</b> - the 05/23/2016 at 3:52am<b>tin_cup</b> - the 05/22/2016 at 10:19pm<b>nomasuras</b> - the 05/22/2016 at 10:17pm<b>michaelm1290</b> - the 05/22/2016 at 5:50pm<b>Shadowvoid</b> - the 05/22/2016 at 3:31pm<b>kentrm</b> - the 05/22/2016 at 2:23pm<b>TheTshirt</b> - the 05/22/2016 at 12:21pm<b>TyroneLeBron</b> - the 05/22/2016 at 4:47am<b>StormfrontX33</b> - the 05/19/2016 at 10:11pm<b>utrax</b> - the 05/14/2016 at 2:28am<b>lolszilla</b> - the 05/13/2016 at 11:02am<b>raven83</b> - the 05/13/2016 at 8:51am<b>Burkiie45</b> - the 05/13/2016 at 8:36am<b>dtut</b> - the 05/03/2016 at 8:32am<b>alphasmartass93</b> - the 05/02/2016 at 8:04am

Fucked!<b>Therid</b> - the 05/26/2016 at 1:03pm<b>alphasmartass93</b> - the 04/27/2016 at 7:00am<b>unicornhugger</b> - the 04/20/2016 at 5:31am<b>ssnow</b> - the 04/02/2016 at 12:09pm<b>dimos4ever</b> - the 03/29/2016 at 9:15am<b>spicypie</b> - the 03/21/2016 at 9:22pm<b>AHzulu</b> - the 03/20/2016 at 9:13am<b>fungi0528</b> - the 03/14/2016 at 9:28pm<b>tin_cup</b> - the 03/14/2016 at 1:06am<b>BeccaRaye</b> - the 03/12/2016 at 5:13am<b>Toonice45</b> - the 03/09/2016 at 11:47pm<b>Feklfekl2222</b> - the 03/05/2016 at 1:01pm<b>aiw14</b> - the 03/01/2016 at 7:39am<b>aliciousness116</b> - the 02/25/2016 at 7:34pm<b>vikky538</b> - the 02/25/2016 at 6:03pm<b>Dieterle</b> - the 02/24/2016 at 1:50pm<b>ndnpride88</b> - the 02/24/2016 at 1:10pm<b>gdeekay</b> - the 02/23/2016 at 10:05pm

emeraldisle's FML badges

Santa Claus

You've looked for Santa absolutely everywhere, and you managed to find him. Well done!

One more and it's business time

You've received 68 likes on your profile. Kinky.

Inception

You read an FML that mentions a badge, and in return you've been awarded a badge. A badge inside a badge.

See all of emeraldisle's badges

emeraldisle's favorite FMLs

Today, after his sixth beer, my dad looked me in the eye and said "I've never forgiven you for what you did to your mother's vagina". FML

by Anonymous / 01/12/2014 at 1:38am / Australia (Queensland) / Miscellaneous

Today, I was getting ready for a night out with the girls, and without any hint of trickery, just wanting an honest answer, I asked my boyfriend how I looked in the dress I chose. He immediately dropped to his knees, yelled, "NOOOOOOOOO!" and calmly left the room. FML

by -_-" / 01/11/2014 at 6:13pm / United States (New York) / Miscellaneous

Today, I texted my boyfriend of two years and asked if he wanted to go to ball with me. His response was "The person you are trying to message cancelled their phone service and moved to Mexico. Taco taco burrito." I'll take that as a no. FML

by rollergirl13 / 01/11/2014 at 12:55am / United States (Alaska) / Love

Today, I asked my mum when she gets the urge to smoke. The answer I was looking for was "after I eat" or maybe even "when I'm tired". What I got was "every second since you were born". FML

by BornToBeABurden / 01/09/2014 at 11:01am / United Kingdom (London, City of) / Love

Today, I tried to prove to my girlfriend how much I've matured and that our relationship comes before anything else in my life. So I went to delete my character in World of Warcraft. I tried to confirm it, but I couldn't, breaking down in tears instead. FML

by Anonymous / 12/30/2013 at 12:20pm / United States / Love

Today, my 4-year-old daughter figured out how to set a parental code lock on our television so we can't watch football because it scares her when we scream. She won't tell us no matter what we bribe her with. FML

by Anonymous / 12/30/2013 at 7:10am / Australia (New South Wales) / Kids

Today, I went to take a shower. When I turned it on, no water came out. Only ants. FML

by anon / 12/27/2013 at 2:28am / Canada (New Brunswick) / Miscellaneous

Today, my car was keyed, while I was still sitting in it. FML

Today, I was at a Christmas party when I noticed someone had taken all of the cash I had from out of my wallet. It was a family gathering. I'm related to the culprit but have no idea who it is. FML

by Anonymous / 12/15/2013 at 11:47pm / United States (Florida) / Money

Today, I woke up and coughed up the spider I thought I'd killed last night. FML

by igotpride / 12/09/2013 at 4:01pm / United States / Miscellaneous

Today, I received a poorly-written letter from my asshole neighbor in which he threatened to "sew" me because my dog shat on his lawn again. I went over, asked if he needed some wool for his sewing, and told him to stop being an idiot. Now he's apparently hiring a lawyer for real. FML

by possibly a sweater / 12/05/2013 at 5:26pm / United States (Texas) / Miscellaneous

Today, a girl and I were flirting and it was going well. Feeling bold, I asked what she would do if I kissed her. She smiled flirtatiously and said "Why don't you try it and find out?" I went in for a kiss, and she slapped me. FML

by smooth / 11/21/2013 at 11:10am / United States / Miscellaneous

Today, I was lying beside my 5-year-old son to help him get to sleep. He turned his head and asked, "Daddy, why do you suck so much?" FML

by I don't know, son / 11/15/2013 at 8:53pm / Canada (Ontario) / Kids

Today, I was watching some episodes of The Walking Dead with my boyfriend, after recently introducing him to the series. A scene involving Carl came on, and my boyfriend said, "God damn. You ever give me a kid that annoying, I'll shoot both of ya right in the head." FML

by kel / 11/08/2013 at 6:50pm / United Kingdom (Coventry) / Love

Today, while teaching juniors about black holes, I said, "Imagine everything being sucked into a black hole." An African-American student shouted, "I'd better start clenching!" Nobody took the lesson seriously after that. FML

by regretsteachinghighschool / 11/05/2013 at 8:22am / United States (Minnesota) / Work