Submit your FML story

  • - Concept: An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
  • - CAUTION: Read your message over. Please don't use text language and avoid making too many spelling mistakes.
  • - Please note that spam and nonsensical stories will result in you being blocked from accessing FML.
Your nick:
Categories :
Man or woman?

emeraldisle

Online | Search for a member

emeraldisle

9Liked!

emeraldisleemeraldisle
  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Madam
  • Birth Date : Friday 21 November 1986 (28 years)
  • <3 status : With someone
  • Number of visits : 3961
  • Number of comments : 594
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 3 posted

About emeraldisle : I'm awesome.

Message me if you wanna chat. I love meeting new people. Don't be shy.

After being on this site for a while, I've come to realise that sarcasm and humour are lost on a lot of people.

emeraldisle's page activity

Visits<b>8liroliro8</b> - the 01/28/2015 at 2:13am<b>gurbism</b> - the 01/27/2015 at 4:23pm<b>andy594328</b> - the 01/27/2015 at 1:52am<b>nephilim241</b> - the 01/26/2015 at 6:53pm<b>olpally</b> - the 01/18/2015 at 10:19pm<b>Amandallynn</b> - the 01/17/2015 at 7:07pm<b>Lct1196</b> - the 01/17/2015 at 12:41pm<b>CandienInEurope</b> - the 01/17/2015 at 11:36am<b>WD_Stevens</b> - the 01/17/2015 at 11:00am<b>Pleonasm</b> - the 01/17/2015 at 10:52am<b>vreid</b> - the 01/17/2015 at 10:50am<b>ZY1431</b> - the 01/17/2015 at 2:02am<b>TheDude992</b> - the 01/17/2015 at 12:06am<b>Evil20071</b> - the 01/16/2015 at 8:04pm<b>maxyutd</b> - the 01/16/2015 at 8:05am<b>ActionFearo</b> - the 01/15/2015 at 3:46am<b>K_kanaka</b> - the 01/09/2015 at 6:39pm<b>rogwest</b> - the 01/09/2015 at 3:06pm

Liked!<b>mansfield_j</b> - the 01/02/2015 at 3:07am<b>olpally</b> - the 12/15/2014 at 7:29pm<b>gary3768</b> - the 11/23/2014 at 7:00am<b>dannyayala76</b> - the 11/22/2014 at 12:50am<b>patrickalamo</b> - the 11/21/2014 at 1:11pm<b>AirBusDriver</b> - the 11/17/2014 at 12:57am<b>WeChaseClouds</b> - the 10/18/2014 at 7:36pm<b>PinkPoshling111</b> - the 10/02/2014 at 12:19am<b>spockadelic</b> - the 09/22/2014 at 2:45am

emeraldisle's FML badges

The Mixer

You like to live life randomly, and we salute you.

What'cha looking at?

You have put three pictures on your profile, not necessarily pictures of your profile.

I like your style

You've liked someone. How cute!

See all of emeraldisle's badges

emeraldisle's favorite FMLs

Today, I witnessed a large woman pee on a pregnancy test in the middle of a Walmart parking lot, clean herself off, then wander around with the test hanging out of her mouth, waiting for her result. Where in the name of Christ do these people come from? FML

#20701323
206 comments

I agree, your life sucks (69514) - you deserved it (4248)

On 06/02/2013 at 2:10pm - misc - by Anonymous (man) - United States

Today, I fainted. Instead of stopping to help, some guy stopped to draw a penis on my forehead. The EMT laughed. FML

#20692945
72 comments

I agree, your life sucks (46694) - you deserved it (3457)

On 05/29/2013 at 11:21am - health - by Anonymous (man) - United States

Today, I was walking down the stairs with my guitar in hand, singing "I Don't Wanna Miss a Thing" to my wife. I sang, "I don't wanna close my eyes, I don't wanna fall". Before I could say "asleep", I fell down the stairs. My wife almost pissed her pants laughing. My bum hurts. FML

#20691071
125 comments

I agree, your life sucks (63425) - you deserved it (14442)

On 05/28/2013 at 12:37pm - love - by Anonymous - Australia (New South Wales)

Today, my parents decided that since summer is almost here, it's a great opportunity to start having nude barbecues. I found this out after walking out into the backyard, hoping to sun myself a little, only to see the living nightmare that is my parents' naked bodies. FML

#20686007
107 comments

I agree, your life sucks (49527) - you deserved it (4519)

On 05/25/2013 at 6:47pm - misc - by Anonymous (man) - United States

Today, while at the movies, I had an uncomfortable amount of gas that I couldn't hold in any longer. I waited for a loud part in the movie to conceal it and took my chance. Problem was, the loud part ended abruptly. I didn't. FML

Today, I got to take my 10-year-old son to the junior high school at which I teach. When my students questioned him about what I was like at home, he told the entire class: "Well, she farts all the time." FML

#20684818
75 comments

I agree, your life sucks (45788) - you deserved it (8370)

On 05/25/2013 at 12:37am - kids - by Laurel (woman) - Canada (Ontario)

Today, my uncle drove to my house in his tractor, beer in one hand, and a radio strapped to the dash blasting country music at unimaginable volume. Neither of us live on a farm. Half the neighborhood stood angrily glaring at us until we went inside. FML

#20684256
70 comments

I agree, your life sucks (38634) - you deserved it (4213)

On 05/24/2013 at 6:48pm - misc - by unwilling redneck - United States

Today, I brought my girlfriend home for the first time. I was really excited to introduce her to my parents, until we found my mother waving around a wooden sword, and my father trying to shove my sister into the dryer. FML

#20671220
98 comments

I agree, your life sucks (45508) - you deserved it (4827)

On 05/18/2013 at 4:06pm - love - by Mr_poole (man) - United States (Colorado)

Today, I saw a coin on the ground. As I bent over to pick it up, some dude came up from behind, grabbed my waist and humped me three times. He ran away before I could get a good look at his face. FML

#20664572
141 comments

I agree, your life sucks (51439) - you deserved it (8927)

On 05/15/2013 at 4:08am - misc - by asdffhhjk (man) - Philippines (Manila)

Today, I was dancing in the passenger seat of my car with my family when a cop pulled us over. He thought I was trying to flag him down for help. I guess I'm not as good of a dancer as I thought. FML

#20662599
60 comments

I agree, your life sucks (37945) - you deserved it (12096)

On 05/14/2013 at 7:32am - misc - by ktorih137 - Canada (Nova Scotia)

Today, my family flew out to surprise my grandma for her 70th birthday. When we arrived, she and my grandpa were both sitting on the couch, high, smoking a joint. FML

#20649343
19 comments

I agree, your life sucks (50215) - you deserved it (11333)

On 05/08/2013 at 2:59am - misc - by Anonymous - United States

Today, I was in a bathroom stall and I accidentally dropped my new tampon on the ground. Just as I was about to reach for it, I heard a voice on the other side of the stall say, "Oh great, I needed that" and then a hand reached under my stall and grabbed it. It was my last one. FML

#20647074
159 comments

I agree, your life sucks (58956) - you deserved it (4602)

On 05/07/2013 at 1:10am - misc - by the girl next door (woman) - United States (Missouri)

Today, I went to go see my granddad in the hospital and asked if he needed anything. He replied, "I need you to get out and send that hot nurse in, I may be old but I still got it." FML

#20644913
67 comments

I agree, your life sucks (45673) - you deserved it (6117)

On 05/06/2013 at 4:35am - misc - by Anonymous - United States (California)

Today, I was out with my grandma when a pair of very shady guys approached us in the street, hands in their pockets. Without breaking stride, she pulled a knife out of her handbag and told them they'd better keep walking. They did. What the fuck, gran? FML

#20640901
81 comments

I agree, your life sucks (50200) - you deserved it (7085)

On 05/04/2013 at 1:05pm - misc - by emasculated 10000% (man) - Sweden (Kronobergs Lan)

Today, I finally started exercising. I'm a rather obese person and I'm super pumped up to finally get off my lazy butt and lose some weight. Locking myself in my room, I first started with a very simple exercise: jumping jacks. I farted each time I jumped. I jumped 10 times. FML

#20640437
108 comments

I agree, your life sucks (45677) - you deserved it (11244)

On 05/04/2013 at 4:11am - health - by thatonesilentkidinclass (man) - Philippines (Batangas)



Ronald Grandpey's illustrated FML

The Artist's interview

All illustrated FMLs

FML's blog

  • Ronald Grandpey's illustrated FML
  • Hello everyone, how's it going? You doing OK? Friday is the right time to get your glad rags on, go out, meet your friends, have a drink, get your freak on, shoot the breeze, shoot some hoops, don't shoot…

Friday 30 January 2015

The whole blog

FMyLife, world tour

Available on: