emeraldisle

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emeraldisle

190Fucked!

  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Miss
  • Birth Date : Wednesday 21 November 1990 (26 years old)
  • <3 status : With someone
  • Number of visits : 10715
  • Number of comments : 752
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 4 posted

About emeraldisle : I'm awesome and I love cats.

After being on this site for a while, I've come to realise that sarcasm and humour are lost on a lot of people.

Message me if you could like chat on here. Don't message me if you're going to ask me to chat on another app or ask for nudes.

emeraldisle's page activity

Visits<b>liinkinparkfan97</b> - the 11/29/2016 at 12:29am<b>CandyDawg</b> - the 11/25/2016 at 11:52pm<b>ahmadmad</b> - the 11/25/2016 at 11:27pm<b>ughitseve</b> - the 11/24/2016 at 5:35pm<b>StormfrontX33</b> - the 11/20/2016 at 11:56pm<b>Screwie</b> - the 11/09/2016 at 11:00pm<b>elladonald</b> - the 11/09/2016 at 12:45am<b>argnog</b> - the 11/07/2016 at 6:04pm<b>Shadowvoid</b> - the 11/07/2016 at 11:20am<b>thenameisfatma</b> - the 11/07/2016 at 4:11am<b>Qandol</b> - the 11/07/2016 at 1:24am<b>thundercrow1999</b> - the 11/05/2016 at 2:13am<b>Addiepop</b> - the 11/04/2016 at 2:13am<b>rashadkhanracing</b> - the 11/03/2016 at 10:11pm<b>idiotstar123</b> - the 10/30/2016 at 11:42pm<b>French_giirl</b> - the 10/19/2016 at 8:07am<b>ghetto_child</b> - the 10/18/2016 at 10:36pm<b>jrmertz00</b> - the 10/18/2016 at 10:09pm

Fucked!<b>CandyDawg</b> - the 11/26/2016 at 5:53am<b>ahmadmad</b> - the 11/26/2016 at 5:28am<b>Addiepop</b> - the 11/04/2016 at 7:13am<b>thundercrow1999</b> - the 11/03/2016 at 6:00pm<b>rashadkhanracing</b> - the 11/01/2016 at 9:28am<b>peeta0330</b> - the 09/26/2016 at 2:40pm<b>vhsjulia</b> - the 09/25/2016 at 5:53am<b>gwen128128</b> - the 09/24/2016 at 8:54pm<b>stellasue11</b> - the 09/24/2016 at 6:30am<b>Garagedwella</b> - the 09/24/2016 at 2:41am<b>pantsman66</b> - the 09/19/2016 at 11:03pm<b>amehl977</b> - the 09/19/2016 at 1:08pm<b>jbuckets_404</b> - the 09/18/2016 at 9:08pm<b>ItnHmn</b> - the 09/18/2016 at 7:15pm<b>delichick</b> - the 09/03/2016 at 3:16am<b>Teyros</b> - the 08/20/2016 at 7:53am<b>Willman757</b> - the 08/18/2016 at 3:37pm<b>shiba10</b> - the 08/12/2016 at 4:39am

emeraldisle's FML badges

The Thumb returns

You have thumbed 5000 comments.

Hard at Work

Voting on an FML from the Work category on a Monday between 8 and 9am, how ironic.

Santa Claus

You've looked for Santa absolutely everywhere, and you managed to find him. Well done!

See all of emeraldisle's badges

emeraldisle's favorite FMLs

Today, I joked to a client that every time I see his name, I start singing the song 'Dr Jones' by Aqua. He looked blankly at me, so I broke into song, 'Dr Jones, Dr Jones, calling Dr Jones... ' He still looked blankly, but now also utterly horrified, as were the rest of the waiting room. FML

by banana_tree / 04/21/2014 at 5:26pm / United Kingdom / Work

Today, when I went to the shopping centre, the automatic door wouldn't open for me. I had to stand there and wait until someone else walked by to open it for me. I suffer from dwarfism and this is a daily occurrence. FML

by shorty / 04/21/2014 at 12:11am / Australia (Queensland) / Miscellaneous

Today, I took my kids to an Easter party hosted by a local church. The nice lady in charge told the kids, "Jesus died, but He rose to life again!" My 9 year old screamed, "LIKE A ZOMBIE!" FML

by Anonymous / 04/18/2014 at 8:14pm / United States (Pennsylvania) / Kids

Today, I'm 25 years old, I've got an education and I only now found out in front of 15 people that, no, sparrows are not small pigeons that are going to grow up. FML

by pablito / 04/17/2014 at 6:37am / France (Rhone-Alpes) / Animals

Today, my house was robbed. My two 70-pound German Shepherds obeyed me when I told them to attack. They also obeyed the robber when he said, "Sit". FML

by stupiddog / 04/15/2014 at 8:08am / United States (California) / Animals

Today, in the middle of sex, my girlfriend yelled, "STUFF ME LIKE A TURKEY!" I couldn't finish. FML

by Anonymous / 04/14/2014 at 4:12pm / United States (Maryland) / Intimacy

Today, my Game of Thrones addicted girlfriend decided to name my penis Tyrion Lannister. FML

by off to the whorehouse, then / 03/31/2014 at 5:03pm / United Kingdom (Brighton and Hove) / Intimacy

Today, for the third time this week, a random person in the street walked up to me and told me how much I look like Grumpy Cat. FML

by no / 03/20/2014 at 6:18pm / United Kingdom (London, City of) / Miscellaneous

Today, I threw an eraser at my brother to get his attention because he couldn't hear me over his music. Being in a bad mood, he thought I was trying to aggravate his bad mood and responded by throwing a small desk cactus back. FML

by ThatGuyWithFMLs / 02/25/2014 at 4:31am / Japan (Osaka) / Miscellaneous

Today, I told my husband how frisky I was feeling, and asked him what he was going to do about it. He reached into our fruit bowl, tossed me a banana and told me to work it out, then returned to his video game. FML

by Anonymous / 02/15/2014 at 5:44pm / United States (Pennsylvania) / Intimacy

Today, I'm stuck in a hotel with my psychotic mom, all because she swore there were "demonic" noises coming from our oven. Yeah, our oven is totally possessed, you idiot. FML

by fuck my goddamn life / 02/15/2014 at 3:51pm / United States / Miscellaneous

Today, I ran out of toilet paper. I yelled from the bathroom for my parents to bring me some toilet paper. My dad slipped one tiny piece of toilet paper under the door and boomed, "THE FINAL TEST." FML

by airhead2015 / 02/12/2014 at 12:57pm / United States (Tennessee) / Miscellaneous

Today, someone hit my parked car. The impact caused the front of the car to go up onto the sidewalk, and I got a ticket for parking there. FML

by ccgundum / 02/01/2014 at 2:47am / Canada (British Columbia) / Miscellaneous

Today, I finally finished making my daughter's wedding cake. When I checked on it later, I found a large slice had been cut out. I soon found out that my husband had instagrammed himself eating it, with the caption "#guiltypleasures". FML

by Anonymous / 01/31/2014 at 11:36am / United Kingdom / Miscellaneous

Today, I had an upset stomach all day at work. When lunch break came, I rushed to the bathroom. Just as I turned into an unstoppable human whoopie cushion, a co-worker walked in. He heard the entire arse symphony, and just asked "What the fuck, dude?!" as he left. FML

by Anonymous / 01/30/2014 at 5:46pm / United Kingdom (Lancashire) / Work