emeraldisle

Search for a member

Online

emeraldisle

167Fucked!

  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Miss
  • Birth Date : Wednesday 21 November 1990 (25 years old)
  • <3 status : With someone
  • Number of visits : 9537
  • Number of comments : 733
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 4 posted

About emeraldisle : I'm awesome and I love cats.

After being on this site for a while, I've come to realise that sarcasm and humour are lost on a lot of people.

Message me if you could like chat on here. Don't message me if you're going to ask me to chat on another app or ask for nudes.

emeraldisle's page activity

Visits<b>dzinex7</b> - yesterday at 2:58pm<b>cat_lady_95</b> - the 07/24/2016 at 5:31am<b>ImKimitheEmo</b> - the 07/22/2016 at 8:54am<b>maxthebigseal</b> - the 07/21/2016 at 8:21pm<b>Magnoxidans</b> - the 07/21/2016 at 3:35am<b>Draveren</b> - the 07/20/2016 at 3:34am<b>holymacabre</b> - the 07/19/2016 at 6:46pm<b>zaidthunder1</b> - the 07/19/2016 at 3:14pm<b>kevinjiang</b> - the 07/19/2016 at 2:51pm<b>25thPanda</b> - the 07/19/2016 at 1:52pm<b>Mons</b> - the 07/19/2016 at 1:48pm<b>jbuckets_404</b> - the 07/19/2016 at 9:56am<b>acf1233</b> - the 07/18/2016 at 5:53pm<b>melisssa87</b> - the 07/16/2016 at 5:46am<b>stryder9090</b> - the 07/15/2016 at 12:35am<b>StormfrontX33</b> - the 07/14/2016 at 2:52pm<b>aboelmagd</b> - the 07/12/2016 at 8:02am<b>amayraniescobar</b> - the 07/11/2016 at 10:49pm

Fucked!<b>zaidthunder1</b> - the 07/19/2016 at 9:14pm<b>AngusEcrivain</b> - the 07/10/2016 at 10:43am<b>Therid</b> - the 05/26/2016 at 1:03pm<b>alphasmartass93</b> - the 04/27/2016 at 7:00am<b>unicornhugger</b> - the 04/20/2016 at 5:31am<b>ssnow</b> - the 04/02/2016 at 12:09pm<b>dimos4ever</b> - the 03/29/2016 at 9:15am<b>spicypie</b> - the 03/21/2016 at 9:22pm<b>AHzulu</b> - the 03/20/2016 at 9:13am<b>fungi0528</b> - the 03/14/2016 at 9:28pm<b>tin_cup</b> - the 03/14/2016 at 1:06am<b>BeccaRaye</b> - the 03/12/2016 at 5:13am<b>Toonice45</b> - the 03/09/2016 at 11:47pm<b>Feklfekl2222</b> - the 03/05/2016 at 1:01pm<b>aiw14</b> - the 03/01/2016 at 7:39am<b>aliciousness116</b> - the 02/25/2016 at 7:34pm<b>vikky538</b> - the 02/25/2016 at 6:03pm<b>Dieterle</b> - the 02/24/2016 at 1:50pm

emeraldisle's FML badges

Santa Claus

You've looked for Santa absolutely everywhere, and you managed to find him. Well done!

One more and it's business time

You've received 68 likes on your profile. Kinky.

Inception

You read an FML that mentions a badge, and in return you've been awarded a badge. A badge inside a badge.

See all of emeraldisle's badges

emeraldisle's favorite FMLs

Today, I was at Sea World and was about to take a picture of the big walrus. I noticed my phone was still set to use the front camera, and I muttered "Oops, selfie mode." A guy next to me turned, looked at me, and said "Not like there's a difference for you." FML

by furball / 06/15/2014 at 4:01pm / Animals

Today, my dad called me into the bathroom, saying "Get a load of this shit, son" and forcing me to look at the biggest, foulest-smelling turd I have ever seen in my life in the toilet. It's been three hours and I still feel physically ill. FML

by green and not with envy / 06/13/2014 at 4:17pm / Canada (Ontario) / Health

Today, I got to explain to someone that "enjoying the warm, rich aromas of fecal matter" is not a good subject to use as an ice breaker for making friends. FML

by Aether / 06/03/2014 at 6:51pm / United States (Texas) / Miscellaneous

Today, I was hit in the face by the placenta of a cow that had just given birth. FML

by disturbed / 05/31/2014 at 9:53pm / Ireland / Animals

Today, I got called "un-American" when I said I didn't care about Kim and Kayne's wedding. FML

by Yeppets / 05/28/2014 at 12:13am / United States (Illinois) / Miscellaneous

Today, thanks to my phone's shitty predictive text combined with me being half-asleep, I accidentally offered my heartbroken buddy "oral support" if he ever needs it. FML

by whoops / 05/25/2014 at 5:23pm / United States (Tennessee) / Intimacy

Today, the only person in my entire family to show up sober and on time to my graduation was my grandma. FML

by Congrats to me / 05/24/2014 at 7:57pm / United States (Ohio) / Miscellaneous

Today, I explained to my dad that I had spent over three hours baking, frosting, and decorating a cake from scratch and how proud I was of it. Without even looking up at me, he replied, "You really need a boyfriend." FML

by lifesabitch2016 / 05/24/2014 at 2:23am / United States (Washington) / Miscellaneous

Today, I took my son to lunch. After we ate, the waitress came over and told me that my son was the most well-behaved child they had ever had there. His response was to pull his pants down and moon the entire restaurant while smacking his bottom. FML

by BekkyLove15 / 05/18/2014 at 8:12pm / United Kingdom (Hampshire) / Kids

This FML has been commented on by its original poster.

Today, I walked in on my mom showing her friends that she can deepthroat a banana. That's something I could've lived a long and happy life without seeing. FML

by fuck florida / 05/16/2014 at 3:26pm / United States (California) / Intimacy

Today, my mom got drunk and started crying, ranting about all the things she could have done in life if I hadn't been born. FML

by Anonymous / 05/09/2014 at 7:57pm / United States (Ohio) / Kids

Today, my parents decided to get with the times. So far, they've made me get Snapchat and Instagram accounts, and made me add them on Facebook. They keep acting like annoying teenagers, and get mad at me when I don't play along. For the love of god, somebody save me. FML

by Anais Strongrump III Jr. / 05/09/2014 at 4:41pm / United States (Texas) / Miscellaneous

Today, my art teacher showed off a painting of his name he got in Japan. I can read Japanese, and it actually says "Old idiot". I really don't want to break it to him. FML

by Sam / 05/04/2014 at 2:12am / United States (Missouri) / Miscellaneous

Today, I pulled up next to a lady who was trying to text, smoke, and drive. My brother said that she was probably going to cause an accident. He was right. At the next light she hit us. She then yelled that I purposely caused the accident because, "that's how teenagers are". FML

by Anonymous / 05/03/2014 at 1:00am / United States (Nevada) / Transportation

Today, I joked to a client that every time I see his name, I start singing the song 'Dr Jones' by Aqua. He looked blankly at me, so I broke into song, 'Dr Jones, Dr Jones, calling Dr Jones... ' He still looked blankly, but now also utterly horrified, as were the rest of the waiting room. FML

by banana_tree / 04/21/2014 at 5:26pm / United Kingdom / Work