emeraldisle

Search for a member

Online

emeraldisle

185Fucked!

  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Miss
  • Birth Date : Wednesday 21 November 1990 (25 years old)
  • <3 status : With someone
  • Number of visits : 10306
  • Number of comments : 747
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 4 posted

About emeraldisle : I'm awesome and I love cats.

After being on this site for a while, I've come to realise that sarcasm and humour are lost on a lot of people.

Message me if you could like chat on here. Don't message me if you're going to ask me to chat on another app or ask for nudes.

emeraldisle's page activity

Visits<b>Dramori</b> - 4 hours ago<b>AlphaPrince13</b> - the 09/26/2016 at 10:44am<b>gwen128128</b> - the 09/26/2016 at 9:20am<b>peeta0330</b> - the 09/26/2016 at 8:40am<b>FalloutScrolls</b> - the 09/25/2016 at 11:33am<b>vhsjulia</b> - the 09/24/2016 at 11:53pm<b>mas12806</b> - the 09/24/2016 at 5:02pm<b>Garagedwella</b> - the 09/24/2016 at 1:43pm<b>jasoncann</b> - the 09/24/2016 at 3:05am<b>stellasue11</b> - the 09/24/2016 at 12:30am<b>glory4oleg</b> - the 09/24/2016 at 12:14am<b>whatahatuis</b> - the 09/23/2016 at 11:52pm<b>trashyant</b> - the 09/23/2016 at 6:50pm<b>Sayeret_Matkal</b> - the 09/23/2016 at 6:34pm<b>dremnolvokun</b> - the 09/22/2016 at 10:54am<b>rodrigun449</b> - the 09/19/2016 at 10:59pm<b>droid1126</b> - the 09/19/2016 at 10:01pm<b>massive_kaos</b> - the 09/19/2016 at 7:47pm

Fucked!<b>peeta0330</b> - the 09/26/2016 at 2:40pm<b>vhsjulia</b> - the 09/25/2016 at 5:53am<b>gwen128128</b> - the 09/24/2016 at 8:54pm<b>stellasue11</b> - the 09/24/2016 at 6:30am<b>Garagedwella</b> - the 09/24/2016 at 2:41am<b>pantsman66</b> - the 09/19/2016 at 11:03pm<b>amehl977</b> - the 09/19/2016 at 1:08pm<b>jbuckets_404</b> - the 09/18/2016 at 9:08pm<b>ItnHmn</b> - the 09/18/2016 at 7:15pm<b>delichick</b> - the 09/03/2016 at 3:16am<b>Teyros</b> - the 08/20/2016 at 7:53am<b>Willman757</b> - the 08/18/2016 at 3:37pm<b>shiba10</b> - the 08/12/2016 at 4:39am<b>S_Melh</b> - the 08/11/2016 at 7:17am<b>tonyfan00</b> - the 08/04/2016 at 3:38am<b>Junkiegamer</b> - the 07/29/2016 at 1:59am<b>Godzillapro14</b> - the 07/28/2016 at 7:19pm<b>zaidthunder1</b> - the 07/19/2016 at 9:14pm

emeraldisle's FML badges

Hard at Work

Voting on an FML from the Work category on a Monday between 8 and 9am, how ironic.

Santa Claus

You've looked for Santa absolutely everywhere, and you managed to find him. Well done!

One more and it's business time

You've received 68 likes on your profile. Kinky.

See all of emeraldisle's badges

emeraldisle's favorite FMLs

Today, I confided to my grandma that I'm suffering from depression and I feel like a burden to everyone. She replied that her grandpa used to suffer from depression too, but that he'd cured himself in the end, namely by committing suicide. Thanks, grandma, thanks. FML

by lacieQ / 08/01/2014 at 4:09pm / Canada / Health

Today, my son said his first word. Unfortunately, that word was "cock." I've tried convincing myself that he's trying to say "clock" but I just can't do it. FML

by Anonymous / 07/31/2014 at 12:24pm / United States (Oregon) / Kids

Today, I went to a bookstore to get "The Grapes of Wrath". I have a problem with controlling the volume of my voice, so once at the counter, I accidentally said quite loudly, "WHERE ARE THE ANGRY GRAPES?" FML

by Face fucking palm / 07/22/2014 at 11:36pm / United States (Georgia) / Miscellaneous

Today, after five years of dating, my boyfriend finally proposed to me. The words "just think of the tax breaks" were uttered. FML

by justthinkofyourhand / 07/13/2014 at 6:36pm / United States (California) / Love

Today, I saw a drunk woman drop her purse in the street. I picked it up and went to give it to her, only for her to scream at me for being a thief. Then she started crying, apologized and hugged me, then got angry again, and finally threw up on me. FML

by all puked out / 07/13/2014 at 5:14pm / Netherlands / Miscellaneous

Today, my boyfriend and I were about to make love for the first time. The moment my bra came off, he started hyperventilating to the point of blacking out. So much for that. FML

by Anonymous / 07/13/2014 at 4:00pm / Spain (Catalonia) / Intimacy

Today, I sent my boyfriend a picture of my boobs. I quickly found out that I'd accidentally sent it to my sister instead. She sent me one back. FML

by boob sisters / 07/02/2014 at 1:01pm / United States (Georgia) / Intimacy

Today, I overheard my mother talking to her friend, and using me as an example of how it's sometimes best to swallow. FML

by unwanted daughter / 07/02/2014 at 11:54am / Canada (British Columbia) / Intimacy

Today, I put on some sexy lingerie, ready to have some fun with my husband. I found him in the living room, opening a bag of doritos in front of the TV. He saw me and understood. Then he looked back at the doritos, then back at me and said gravely, "No way, babe. No way." FML

by Anonymous / 06/27/2014 at 7:50pm / United States (Colorado) / Intimacy

Today, my sweet 7-month-old puppy ran up to a big fat dog at the park and did what she always does: roll over on her back to start to play. The big fat dog lifted his leg and peed all over my puppy's belly. After the shock, my soaking wet puppy jumped on me. FML

by Pisser / 06/26/2014 at 12:57am / United States (Oregon) / Animals

Today, I found out that the loving nickname my Chinese mother has been calling me my entire life essentially translates to "little retard". FML

by Anonymous / 06/23/2014 at 3:52pm / United States / Miscellaneous

Today, my coworker was telling me about his mom, when he asked about mine. I told him that I've never met my mom, because she died during my childbirth. It's a very painful subject for me, but all the same, my coworkers have decided they'll now only address me as "Tyrion". FML

by the lannisters send their retards / 06/17/2014 at 4:30pm / United Kingdom (London, City of) / Work

Today, I was at Sea World and was about to take a picture of the big walrus. I noticed my phone was still set to use the front camera, and I muttered "Oops, selfie mode." A guy next to me turned, looked at me, and said "Not like there's a difference for you." FML

by furball / 06/15/2014 at 4:01pm / Animals

Today, my dad called me into the bathroom, saying "Get a load of this shit, son" and forcing me to look at the biggest, foulest-smelling turd I have ever seen in my life in the toilet. It's been three hours and I still feel physically ill. FML

by green and not with envy / 06/13/2014 at 4:17pm / Canada (Ontario) / Health

Today, I got to explain to someone that "enjoying the warm, rich aromas of fecal matter" is not a good subject to use as an ice breaker for making friends. FML

by Aether / 06/03/2014 at 6:51pm / United States (Texas) / Miscellaneous