About emeraldisle : I'm awesome.
After being on this site for a while, I've come to realise that sarcasm and humour are lost on a lot of people.
About emeraldisle : I'm awesome.
emeraldisle's FML badges
You've looked for Santa absolutely everywhere, and you managed to find him. Well done!
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emeraldisle's favorite FMLs
by Aether / 06/03/2014 at 6:51pm / United States (Texas) / Miscellaneous
by disturbed / 05/31/2014 at 9:53pm / Ireland / Animals
by Yeppets / 05/28/2014 at 12:13am / United States (Illinois) / Miscellaneous
by whoops / 05/25/2014 at 5:23pm / United States (Tennessee) / Intimacy
by Congrats to me / 05/24/2014 at 7:57pm / United States (Ohio) / Miscellaneous
Today, I explained to my dad that I had spent over three hours baking, frosting, and decorating a cake from scratch and how proud I was of it. Without even looking up at me, he replied, "You really need a boyfriend." FML
by lifesabitch2016 / 05/24/2014 at 2:23am / United States (Washington) / Miscellaneous
Today, I took my son to lunch. After we ate, the waitress came over and told me that my son was the most well-behaved child they had ever had there. His response was to pull his pants down and moon the entire restaurant while smacking his bottom. FML
by BekkyLove15 / 05/18/2014 at 8:12pm / United Kingdom (Hampshire) / Kids
by fuck florida / 05/16/2014 at 3:26pm / United States (California) / Intimacy
by Anonymous / 05/09/2014 at 7:57pm / United States (Ohio) / Kids
Today, my parents decided to get with the times. So far, they've made me get Snapchat and Instagram accounts, and made me add them on Facebook. They keep acting like annoying teenagers, and get mad at me when I don't play along. For the love of god, somebody save me. FML
by Anais Strongrump III Jr. / 05/09/2014 at 4:41pm / United States (Texas) / Miscellaneous
by Sam / 05/04/2014 at 2:12am / United States (Missouri) / Miscellaneous
Today, I pulled up next to a lady who was trying to text, smoke, and drive. My brother said that she was probably going to cause an accident. He was right. At the next light she hit us. She then yelled that I purposely caused the accident because, "that's how teenagers are". FML
by Anonymous / 05/03/2014 at 1:00am / United States (Nevada) / Transportation
Today, I joked to a client that every time I see his name, I start singing the song 'Dr Jones' by Aqua. He looked blankly at me, so I broke into song, 'Dr Jones, Dr Jones, calling Dr Jones... ' He still looked blankly, but now also utterly horrified, as were the rest of the waiting room. FML
by banana_tree / 04/21/2014 at 5:26pm / United Kingdom / Work
Today, when I went to the shopping centre, the automatic door wouldn't open for me. I had to stand there and wait until someone else walked by to open it for me. I suffer from dwarfism and this is a daily occurrence. FML
by shorty / 04/21/2014 at 12:11am / Australia (Queensland) / Miscellaneous
by Anonymous / 04/18/2014 at 8:14pm / United States (Pennsylvania) / Kids
- Today, while taking a shower my dad burst through the door and startled me, making me sling soap in… Today, I got fired from my job. Why? Because I work with my boss' son, who's a lazy little shit. My… Today, like every other day, I was so short that my feet didn't touch the ground when I sat on the…