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emeraldisle

Offline (53 minutes ago) | Search for a member

emeraldisle

145Fucked!

  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Miss
  • Birth Date : Wednesday 21 November 1990 (25 years)
  • <3 status : With someone
  • Number of visits : 7041
  • Number of comments : 691
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 4 posted

About emeraldisle : I'm awesome.

After being on this site for a while, I've come to realise that sarcasm and humour are lost on a lot of people.

emeraldisle's page activity

Visits<b>habfan1970</b> - 47 minutes ago<b>lifesafaitytale</b> - 2 hours ago<b>thetacosniper</b> - 3 hours ago<b>Gshelton09</b> - 10 hours ago<b>askullnamedbilly</b> - 11 hours ago<b>Kilgore_Trout</b> - 13 hours ago<b>ldhull</b> - 15 hours ago<b>Corey122726</b> - 16 hours ago<b>mrcurtis</b> - 17 hours ago<b>mominlaw</b> - 17 hours ago<b>MrScootyPuffSr</b> - yesterday at 2:26am<b>NachoKing</b> - yesterday at 1:05am<b>LonelyPotato</b> - yesterday at 12:23am<b>calk98</b> - yesterday at 10:34pm<b>MrGodface</b> - yesterday at 8:56pm<b>yayhoo16</b> - yesterday at 6:44pm<b>GamerG0DDESS</b> - yesterday at 6:13pm<b>Rebecca_917</b> - yesterday at 10:48am

Fucked!<b>Kilgore_Trout</b> - 7 hours ago<b>Holijust</b> - yesterday at 11:23am<b>mominlaw</b> - the 02/07/2016 at 10:36pm<b>FuKcMee</b> - the 02/07/2016 at 7:59pm<b>rohaanncool</b> - the 02/02/2016 at 10:19pm<b>LivToFail</b> - the 01/31/2016 at 7:17pm<b>Clapdaddy</b> - the 01/29/2016 at 9:56am<b>BigbenMrJDM</b> - the 01/29/2016 at 3:58am<b>fmlnjd2013</b> - the 01/28/2016 at 12:42am<b>ciaraash</b> - the 01/27/2016 at 11:29pm<b>JusstJef</b> - the 01/27/2016 at 3:34pm<b>ironhead</b> - the 01/27/2016 at 3:17am<b>InfestedCarOwner</b> - the 01/27/2016 at 2:25am<b>GrinchFu1</b> - the 01/26/2016 at 6:39pm<b>Nolimits2218</b> - the 01/20/2016 at 9:27pm<b>nathansmith1211</b> - the 01/19/2016 at 11:12pm<b>heartofhannah</b> - the 01/19/2016 at 4:43am<b>miss_fluffybutt</b> - the 01/17/2016 at 4:23am

emeraldisle's FML badges

Santa Claus

You've looked for Santa absolutely everywhere, and you managed to find him. Well done!

One more and it's business time

You've received 68 likes on your profile. Kinky.

Inception

You read an FML that mentions a badge, and in return you've been awarded a badge. A badge inside a badge.

See all of emeraldisle's badges

emeraldisle's favorite FMLs

Today, I overheard my mother talking to her friend, and using me as an example of how it's sometimes best to swallow. FML

#21196146
83 comments

I agree, your life sucks (53363) - you deserved it (5666)

On 07/02/2014 at 11:54am - intimacy - by unwanted daughter (woman) - Canada (British Columbia)

Today, I put on some sexy lingerie, ready to have some fun with my husband. I found him in the living room, opening a bag of doritos in front of the TV. He saw me and understood. Then he looked back at the doritos, then back at me and said gravely, "No way, babe. No way." FML

#21190698
135 comments

I agree, your life sucks (57996) - you deserved it (7455)

On 06/27/2014 at 7:50pm - intimacy - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Colorado)

Today, my sweet 7-month-old puppy ran up to a big fat dog at the park and did what she always does: roll over on her back to start to play. The big fat dog lifted his leg and peed all over my puppy's belly. After the shock, my soaking wet puppy jumped on me. FML

#21188726
101 comments

I agree, your life sucks (49494) - you deserved it (5531)

On 06/26/2014 at 12:57am - animals - by Pisser (woman) - United States (Oregon)

Today, I found out that the loving nickname my Chinese mother has been calling me my entire life essentially translates to "little retard". FML

#21185495
112 comments

I agree, your life sucks (52950) - you deserved it (5850)

On 06/23/2014 at 3:52pm - misc - by Anonymous - United States

Today, my coworker was telling me about his mom, when he asked about mine. I told him that I've never met my mom, because she died during my childbirth. It's a very painful subject for me, but all the same, my coworkers have decided they'll now only address me as "Tyrion". FML

#21178277
94 comments

I agree, your life sucks (46596) - you deserved it (4422)

On 06/17/2014 at 4:30pm - misc - by the lannisters send their retards - United Kingdom (London, City of)

Today, I was at Sea World and was about to take a picture of the big walrus. I noticed my phone was still set to use the front camera, and I muttered "Oops, selfie mode." A guy next to me turned, looked at me, and said "Not like there's a difference for you." FML

#21175629
150 comments

I agree, your life sucks (54439) - you deserved it (9070)

On 06/15/2014 at 4:01pm - animals - by furball (woman) - (Perth and Kinross)

Today, my dad called me into the bathroom, saying "Get a load of this shit, son" and forcing me to look at the biggest, foulest-smelling turd I have ever seen in my life in the toilet. It's been three hours and I still feel physically ill. FML

#21173465
89 comments

I agree, your life sucks (45170) - you deserved it (5643)

On 06/13/2014 at 4:17pm - health - by green and not with envy (man) - Canada (Ontario)

Today, I got to explain to someone that "enjoying the warm, rich aromas of fecal matter" is not a good subject to use as an ice breaker for making friends. FML

#21161981
68 comments

I agree, your life sucks (38006) - you deserved it (4608)

On 06/03/2014 at 6:51pm - misc - by Aether - United States (Texas)

Today, I was hit in the face by the placenta of a cow that had just given birth. FML

#21158688
82 comments

I agree, your life sucks (50317) - you deserved it (5534)

On 05/31/2014 at 9:53pm - animals - by disturbed - Ireland

Today, I got called "un-American" when I said I didn't care about Kim and Kayne's wedding. FML

#21154136
51 comments

I agree, your life sucks (65971) - you deserved it (5795)

On 05/28/2014 at 12:13am - misc - by Yeppets - United States (Illinois)

Today, thanks to my phone's shitty predictive text combined with me being half-asleep, I accidentally offered my heartbroken buddy "oral support" if he ever needs it. FML

#21151390
86 comments

I agree, your life sucks (51332) - you deserved it (9916)

On 05/25/2014 at 5:23pm - intimacy - by whoops (man) - United States (Tennessee)

Today, the only person in my entire family to show up sober and on time to my graduation was my grandma. FML

#21150544
81 comments

I agree, your life sucks (49954) - you deserved it (4028)

On 05/24/2014 at 7:57pm - misc - by Congrats to me - United States (Ohio)

Today, I explained to my dad that I had spent over three hours baking, frosting, and decorating a cake from scratch and how proud I was of it. Without even looking up at me, he replied, "You really need a boyfriend." FML

#21149895
75 comments

I agree, your life sucks (44865) - you deserved it (5332)

On 05/24/2014 at 2:23am - misc - by lifesabitch2016 (woman) - United States (Washington)

Today, I took my son to lunch. After we ate, the waitress came over and told me that my son was the most well-behaved child they had ever had there. His response was to pull his pants down and moon the entire restaurant while smacking his bottom. FML

Today, I walked in on my mom showing her friends that she can deepthroat a banana. That's something I could've lived a long and happy life without seeing. FML

#21141912
94 comments

I agree, your life sucks (58503) - you deserved it (5805)

On 05/16/2014 at 3:26pm - intimacy - by fuck florida (man) - United States (California)



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