Submit your FML story

  • - Concept: An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
  • - CAUTION: Read your message over. Please don't use text language and avoid making too many spelling mistakes.
  • - Please note that spam and nonsensical stories will result in you being blocked from accessing FML.
Your nick:
Categories :
Man or woman?

emeraldisle

Online | Search for a member

emeraldisle

16Liked!

emeraldisleemeraldisle
  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Madam
  • Birth Date : Friday 21 November 1986 (28 years)
  • <3 status : With someone
  • Number of visits : 4178
  • Number of comments : 604
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 3 posted

About emeraldisle : I'm awesome.

Message me if you wanna chat. I love meeting new people. Don't be shy.

After being on this site for a while, I've come to realise that sarcasm and humour are lost on a lot of people.

emeraldisle's page activity

Visits<b>Incognico</b> - one hour ago<b>Bulldozer36</b> - 3 hours ago<b>ksks1234</b> - 3 hours ago<b>Cadillac_kid_15</b> - 4 hours ago<b>Rfads5</b> - 4 hours ago<b>rebphil18</b> - 4 hours ago<b>FitFriday</b> - 6 hours ago<b>sb4331</b> - 7 hours ago<b>pantherfan0877</b> - 7 hours ago<b>0mysteriousman0</b> - 8 hours ago<b>TrackGirl19</b> - 8 hours ago<b>PlainWhiteWalls</b> - 8 hours ago<b>Georgia951</b> - 8 hours ago<b>Steve95401</b> - 8 hours ago<b>Queensland</b> - 9 hours ago<b>FlabbberGasted</b> - 19 hours ago<b>ItsaBucsLife</b> - yesterday at 8:16am<b>nix1993</b> - the 03/02/2015 at 1:52am

Liked!<b>ksks1234</b> - just now<b>pantherfan0877</b> - one hour ago<b>Steve95401</b> - 2 hours ago<b>Anz4c</b> - the 03/01/2015 at 2:33pm<b>curtnay2009</b> - the 02/19/2015 at 5:19am<b>joshtapp</b> - the 02/15/2015 at 4:27am<b>giantsfan2010</b> - the 02/09/2015 at 10:38am<b>mansfield_j</b> - the 01/02/2015 at 3:07am<b>olpally</b> - the 12/15/2014 at 7:29pm<b>gary3768</b> - the 11/23/2014 at 7:00am<b>dannyayala76</b> - the 11/22/2014 at 12:50am<b>patrickalamo</b> - the 11/21/2014 at 1:11pm<b>AirBusDriver</b> - the 11/17/2014 at 12:57am<b>WeChaseClouds</b> - the 10/18/2014 at 7:36pm<b>PinkPoshling111</b> - the 10/02/2014 at 12:19am<b>spockadelic</b> - the 09/22/2014 at 2:45am

emeraldisle's FML badges

The Mixer

You like to live life randomly, and we salute you.

What'cha looking at?

You have put three pictures on your profile, not necessarily pictures of your profile.

I like your style

You've liked someone. How cute!

See all of emeraldisle's badges

emeraldisle's favorite FMLs

Today, my car was keyed, while I was still sitting in it. FML

Today, I was at a Christmas party when I noticed someone had taken all of the cash I had from out of my wallet. It was a family gathering. I'm related to the culprit but have no idea who it is. FML

#20994219
66 comments

I agree, your life sucks (39692) - you deserved it (2904)

On 12/15/2013 at 11:47pm - money - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Florida)

Today, I woke up and coughed up the spider I thought I'd killed last night. FML

#20986479
128 comments

I agree, your life sucks (57051) - you deserved it (4852)

On 12/09/2013 at 4:01pm - misc - by igotpride - United States

Today, I received a poorly-written letter from my asshole neighbor in which he threatened to "sew" me because my dog shat on his lawn again. I went over, asked if he needed some wool for his sewing, and told him to stop being an idiot. Now he's apparently hiring a lawyer for real. FML

#20981890
180 comments

I agree, your life sucks (39198) - you deserved it (21780)

On 12/05/2013 at 5:26pm - misc - by possibly a sweater (man) - United States (Texas)

Today, a girl and I were flirting and it was going well. Feeling bold, I asked what she would do if I kissed her. She smiled flirtatiously and said "Why don't you try it and find out?" I went in for a kiss, and she slapped me. FML

#20965644
137 comments

I agree, your life sucks (55980) - you deserved it (12509)

On 11/21/2013 at 11:10am - misc - by smooth (man) - United States

Today, I was lying beside my 5-year-old son to help him get to sleep. He turned his head and asked, "Daddy, why do you suck so much?" FML

#20959118
101 comments

I agree, your life sucks (44746) - you deserved it (4315)

On 11/15/2013 at 8:53pm - kids - by I don't know, son (man) - Canada (Ontario)

Today, I was watching some episodes of The Walking Dead with my boyfriend, after recently introducing him to the series. A scene involving Carl came on, and my boyfriend said, "God damn. You ever give me a kid that annoying, I'll shoot both of ya right in the head." FML

#20950616
144 comments

I agree, your life sucks (38663) - you deserved it (6873)

On 11/08/2013 at 6:50pm - misc - by kel (woman) - United Kingdom (Coventry)

Today, while teaching juniors about black holes, I said, "Imagine everything being sucked into a black hole." An African-American student shouted, "I'd better start clenching!" Nobody took the lesson seriously after that. FML

#20946225
140 comments

I agree, your life sucks (44392) - you deserved it (5390)

On 11/05/2013 at 8:22am - work - by regretsteachinghighschool - United States (Minnesota)

Today, my husband and I were watching Jurassic Park. At the end of the movie, he commented on how amazed he was that they could "train those dinosaurs" to do exactly what they wanted them to do. FML

#20937890
112 comments

I agree, your life sucks (46849) - you deserved it (5061)

On 10/29/2013 at 1:01pm - misc - by Anonymous - United States (Wisconsin)

Today, my professor tried to scare the hiccups out of me. Some pee came out instead. FML

#20937069
76 comments

I agree, your life sucks (38485) - you deserved it (3862)

On 10/28/2013 at 6:39pm - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Pennsylvania)

Today, my girlfriend asked me if I could love anything more than her, and if so, what. I guess "bacon" was the wrong answer. FML

#20936378
197 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27789) - you deserved it (41165)

On 10/28/2013 at 12:58am - love - by BaconLover - Japan

Today, I was reminded that while I have a nice waist, bum and boobs, I'm unspeakably ugly. I was walking down the street when a guy wolf-whistled from behind me, and when I turned around, he visibly recoiled in disgust. FML

#20908389
136 comments

I agree, your life sucks (46582) - you deserved it (3803)

On 10/05/2013 at 1:51pm - misc - by british_babe (woman) - United Kingdom (London, City of)

Today, I sent my boyfriend a text asking him to come over a little later and have some "fun" with me. He texted back, "WTF babe? Breaking Bad's on tonight. You got a dildo, fucking use it." FML

#20900698
295 comments

I agree, your life sucks (63586) - you deserved it (26407)

On 09/29/2013 at 3:46pm - intimacy - by -___- (woman) - United States (Illinois)

Today, my girlfriend walked in on me taking a dump, and started plucking her eyebrows. When I told her I was uncomfortable, she said, "Aww, is my baby's poo shy? Is it, is it?" and pinched my cheek. FML

#20900665
115 comments

I agree, your life sucks (41258) - you deserved it (6902)

On 09/29/2013 at 3:21pm - misc - by noweddingforyou (man) - Canada (Ontario)

Today, I found a pamphlet for alcohol counseling on my front door today. I think it was from the guys who pick up my recycling. FML

#20886188
70 comments

I agree, your life sucks (36727) - you deserved it (10993)

On 09/18/2013 at 2:19am - health - by I get the hint -



Mathilde Morieux's illustrated FML

The Artist's interview

All illustrated FMLs

FML's blog

  • The Best of the Worst #12
  • Another month, another bunch of shitposts. Yes, it's time to delve into the postbag and have another look at the weird and wonderful stuff we've been sent by people from all over the world. Hope you…

Tuesday 3 March 2015

The whole blog

FMyLife, world tour

Available on: