emeraldisle

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emeraldisle

185Fucked!

  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Miss
  • Birth Date : Wednesday 21 November 1990 (25 years old)
  • <3 status : With someone
  • Number of visits : 10260
  • Number of comments : 747
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 4 posted

About emeraldisle : I'm awesome and I love cats.

After being on this site for a while, I've come to realise that sarcasm and humour are lost on a lot of people.

Message me if you could like chat on here. Don't message me if you're going to ask me to chat on another app or ask for nudes.

emeraldisle's page activity

Visits<b>AlphaPrince13</b> - 9 hours ago<b>gwen128128</b> - 10 hours ago<b>peeta0330</b> - 11 hours ago<b>FalloutScrolls</b> - yesterday at 11:33am<b>vhsjulia</b> - yesterday at 11:53pm<b>mas12806</b> - the 09/24/2016 at 5:02pm<b>Garagedwella</b> - the 09/24/2016 at 1:43pm<b>jasoncann</b> - the 09/24/2016 at 3:05am<b>stellasue11</b> - the 09/24/2016 at 12:30am<b>glory4oleg</b> - the 09/24/2016 at 12:14am<b>whatahatuis</b> - the 09/23/2016 at 11:52pm<b>trashyant</b> - the 09/23/2016 at 6:50pm<b>Sayeret_Matkal</b> - the 09/23/2016 at 6:34pm<b>dremnolvokun</b> - the 09/22/2016 at 10:54am<b>rodrigun449</b> - the 09/19/2016 at 10:59pm<b>droid1126</b> - the 09/19/2016 at 10:01pm<b>massive_kaos</b> - the 09/19/2016 at 7:47pm<b>nreed32</b> - the 09/19/2016 at 5:31pm

Fucked!<b>peeta0330</b> - 5 hours ago<b>vhsjulia</b> - yesterday at 5:53am<b>gwen128128</b> - yesterday at 8:54pm<b>stellasue11</b> - the 09/24/2016 at 6:30am<b>Garagedwella</b> - the 09/24/2016 at 2:41am<b>pantsman66</b> - the 09/19/2016 at 11:03pm<b>amehl977</b> - the 09/19/2016 at 1:08pm<b>jbuckets_404</b> - the 09/18/2016 at 9:08pm<b>ItnHmn</b> - the 09/18/2016 at 7:15pm<b>delichick</b> - the 09/03/2016 at 3:16am<b>Teyros</b> - the 08/20/2016 at 7:53am<b>Willman757</b> - the 08/18/2016 at 3:37pm<b>shiba10</b> - the 08/12/2016 at 4:39am<b>S_Melh</b> - the 08/11/2016 at 7:17am<b>tonyfan00</b> - the 08/04/2016 at 3:38am<b>Junkiegamer</b> - the 07/29/2016 at 1:59am<b>Godzillapro14</b> - the 07/28/2016 at 7:19pm<b>zaidthunder1</b> - the 07/19/2016 at 9:14pm

emeraldisle's FML badges

Hard at Work

Voting on an FML from the Work category on a Monday between 8 and 9am, how ironic.

Santa Claus

You've looked for Santa absolutely everywhere, and you managed to find him. Well done!

One more and it's business time

You've received 68 likes on your profile. Kinky.

See all of emeraldisle's badges

emeraldisle's favorite FMLs

Today, I was singing in my dorm. When I left a little later, a cute guy came up to me and asked if I was the girl who'd been singing. I proudly said yes. He replied, "Good thing you finally shut the fuck up!" and walked away. FML

by Anonymous / 11/02/2014 at 11:44am / United States (New York) / Miscellaneous

Today, I walked into the kitchen at the exact moment my uncle decided to bend over in short shorts. Apparently, his ballsack decided it needed extra room, because it dangled out of his pant leg. FML

by Alexismaria / 10/23/2014 at 4:05pm / United States / Miscellaneous

Today, I was at the mall with my young daughter. I hate pooping in public but I really had to go so I brought her in with me. Thinking we were alone, I started to go and my daughter yelled, "Good job, mommy, you're using the potty like a big girl!" I then heard laughing. FML

by Anonymous / 10/23/2014 at 2:43pm / United States / Kids

Today, after waiting for years for my oldest daughter to grow out of Twilight, my younger daughter discovered it. FML

by team hit bella with a car / 10/19/2014 at 10:20pm / United States (Maryland) / Kids

Today, as a limo driver, I had to drive 8 guys for a night-out from their wives. I put the Michigan/Rutgers game on the radio, thinking they would appreciate that. Apparently, they wanted to listen to their "pump-up" songs instead, which were mostly Katy Perry songs. FML

by theseguysarewhipped... / 10/06/2014 at 11:05am / Canada (Ontario) / Work

Today, I overheard my brother telling his friend that having sex with a girl who's on the pill gives the guy female hormones and "turns you into like, half-chick, half-dude." He was serious. How am I related to this moron? FML

by Anonymous / 10/03/2014 at 4:43pm / United States (Arizona) / Kids

Today, a guy told me I "kind of look like a girl" if he looked at me from the right angle. Well, I am a girl, and this is the closest thing to a compliment that I've gotten in years. FML

by MikaykayUnicorn / 09/21/2014 at 10:57am / Australia (Queensland) / Miscellaneous

This FML has been commented on by its original poster.

Today, I went on Facebook, only to see my grandpa had posted "feeling horny" with my grandma. FML

by failingdaily / 09/19/2014 at 10:27pm / New Zealand (Hawke's Bay) / Geek

Today, while on the bus, a friendly-looking guy smiled at me, so I smiled back. He then pointed at my teeth and said, "You gonna get those fixed, or just keep them as a conversation starter?" FML

by jewelthewat / 09/19/2014 at 8:52am / Netherlands (Utrecht) / Transportation

This FML has been commented on by its original poster.

Today, my cat decided to use my bowl of rice krispies as his litter box. FML

by mlustpdx / 09/04/2014 at 1:47pm / United States (Oregon) / Animals

This FML has been commented on by its original poster.

Today, I learned that while other people drunk call their exes, I drunk adopt cats. Seven cats, to be exact. FML

by cat lady / 08/30/2014 at 7:56am / Norway (Rogaland) / Animals

Today, I got my wisdom teeth removed. All I can remember is crying to my mom because I thought spoons were taking over the world. FML

by KristaAaronn / 08/27/2014 at 8:24am / United States (Tennessee) / Health

This FML has been commented on by its original poster.

Today, I asked my dad to give me a haircut. After 20 minutes of "fuck"s and "shit"s, he gave up and just shaved my head bald. I pull off the look so badly that two people I don't even know have already told me I look like a psychopath. FML

by alanh69 / 08/26/2014 at 3:12pm / United States (Iowa) / Miscellaneous

Today, I was watching my 3 year old brother. He asked me to get him a cookie and I said, "What's the magic word?" He looked at me angrily and said "Bitch, please." FML

by WickedRene / 08/01/2014 at 9:57pm / United States (New York) / Kids

Today, my girlfriend's dad returned home from deployment. Being the grade A fucktard that I am, I got flustered and asked, "So um, did you make it back?" He looked me dead in the eyes and said completely deadpan, "No, obviously I died. Moron." FML

by whoops / 08/01/2014 at 4:45pm / United States (Indiana) / Miscellaneous