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emeraldisle

Offline (59 minutes ago) | Search for a member

emeraldisle

145Fucked!

  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Miss
  • Birth Date : Wednesday 21 November 1990 (25 years)
  • <3 status : With someone
  • Number of visits : 7062
  • Number of comments : 691
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 4 posted

About emeraldisle : I'm awesome.

After being on this site for a while, I've come to realise that sarcasm and humour are lost on a lot of people.

emeraldisle's page activity

Visits<b>joecool86</b> - 5 hours ago<b>mickybagabeers</b> - 5 hours ago<b>leo_ost</b> - 11 hours ago<b>NinjaChris</b> - 17 hours ago<b>mattdumas1</b> - 17 hours ago<b>u2scsi</b> - 18 hours ago<b>Sonotsuave</b> - 21 hours ago<b>salmanch</b> - yesterday at 4:24pm<b>Bonngoo</b> - yesterday at 9:11am<b>Texan_here_</b> - yesterday at 7:50am<b>DumbAndYoung</b> - yesterday at 7:31am<b>habfan1970</b> - yesterday at 4:44am<b>lifesafaitytale</b> - yesterday at 3:46am<b>thetacosniper</b> - yesterday at 2:40am<b>Gshelton09</b> - yesterday at 7:26pm<b>askullnamedbilly</b> - the 02/11/2016 at 6:29pm<b>Kilgore_Trout</b> - the 02/11/2016 at 4:40pm<b>ldhull</b> - the 02/11/2016 at 2:35pm

Fucked!<b>Kilgore_Trout</b> - yesterday at 10:41pm<b>Holijust</b> - the 02/10/2016 at 11:23am<b>FuKcMee</b> - the 02/07/2016 at 7:59pm<b>rohaanncool</b> - the 02/02/2016 at 10:19pm<b>LivToFail</b> - the 01/31/2016 at 7:17pm<b>Clapdaddy</b> - the 01/29/2016 at 9:56am<b>BigbenMrJDM</b> - the 01/29/2016 at 3:58am<b>fmlnjd2013</b> - the 01/28/2016 at 12:42am<b>ciaraash</b> - the 01/27/2016 at 11:29pm<b>JusstJef</b> - the 01/27/2016 at 3:34pm<b>ironhead</b> - the 01/27/2016 at 3:17am<b>InfestedCarOwner</b> - the 01/27/2016 at 2:25am<b>GrinchFu1</b> - the 01/26/2016 at 6:39pm<b>Nolimits2218</b> - the 01/20/2016 at 9:27pm<b>nathansmith1211</b> - the 01/19/2016 at 11:12pm<b>heartofhannah</b> - the 01/19/2016 at 4:43am<b>miss_fluffybutt</b> - the 01/17/2016 at 4:23am<b>lambda</b> - the 01/17/2016 at 4:09am

emeraldisle's FML badges

Santa Claus

You've looked for Santa absolutely everywhere, and you managed to find him. Well done!

One more and it's business time

You've received 68 likes on your profile. Kinky.

Inception

You read an FML that mentions a badge, and in return you've been awarded a badge. A badge inside a badge.

See all of emeraldisle's badges

emeraldisle's favorite FMLs

Today, I went on Facebook, only to see my grandpa had posted "feeling horny" with my grandma. FML

#21261512
68 comments

I agree, your life sucks (39072) - you deserved it (3852)

On 09/19/2014 at 10:27pm - misc - by failingdaily - New Zealand (Hawke's Bay)

Today, while on the bus, a friendly-looking guy smiled at me, so I smiled back. He then pointed at my teeth and said, "You gonna get those fixed, or just keep them as a conversation starter?" FML

Today, my cat decided to use my bowl of rice krispies as his litter box. FML

Today, I learned that while other people drunk call their exes, I drunk adopt cats. Seven cats, to be exact. FML

#21248352
109 comments

I agree, your life sucks (44864) - you deserved it (10807)

On 08/30/2014 at 7:56am - animals - by cat lady (woman) - Norway (Rogaland)

Today, I got my wisdom teeth removed. All I can remember is crying to my mom because I thought spoons were taking over the world. FML

Today, I asked my dad to give me a haircut. After 20 minutes of "fuck"s and "shit"s, he gave up and just shaved my head bald. I pull off the look so badly that two people I don't even know have already told me I look like a psychopath. FML

#21245833
68 comments

I agree, your life sucks (36704) - you deserved it (6166)

On 08/26/2014 at 3:12pm - misc - by alanh69 (man) - United States (Iowa)

Today, I was watching my 3 year old brother. He asked me to get him a cookie and I said, "What's the magic word?" He looked at me angrily and said "Bitch, please." FML

#21227114
105 comments

I agree, your life sucks (47230) - you deserved it (7983)

On 08/01/2014 at 9:57pm - kids - by WickedRene (woman) - United States (New York)

Today, my girlfriend's dad returned home from deployment. Being the grade A fucktard that I am, I got flustered and asked, "So um, did you make it back?" He looked me dead in the eyes and said completely deadpan, "No, obviously I died. Moron." FML

#21226906
54 comments

I agree, your life sucks (36960) - you deserved it (24817)

On 08/01/2014 at 4:45pm - misc - by whoops (man) - United States (Indiana)

Today, I confided to my grandma that I'm suffering from depression and I feel like a burden to everyone. She replied that her grandpa used to suffer from depression too, but that he'd cured himself in the end, namely by committing suicide. Thanks, grandma, thanks. FML

#21226890
77 comments

I agree, your life sucks (43184) - you deserved it (4043)

On 08/01/2014 at 4:09pm - health - by lacieQ (woman) - Canada

Today, my son said his first word. Unfortunately, that word was "cock." I've tried convincing myself that he's trying to say "clock" but I just can't do it. FML

#21225778
120 comments

I agree, your life sucks (42666) - you deserved it (7536)

On 07/31/2014 at 12:24pm - kids - by Anonymous - United States (Oregon)

Today, I went to a bookstore to get "The Grapes of Wrath". I have a problem with controlling the volume of my voice, so once at the counter, I accidentally said quite loudly, "WHERE ARE THE ANGRY GRAPES?" FML

#21217858
91 comments

I agree, your life sucks (38679) - you deserved it (12906)

On 07/22/2014 at 11:36pm - misc - by Face fucking palm - United States (Georgia)

Today, after five years of dating, my boyfriend finally proposed to me. The words "just think of the tax breaks" were uttered. FML

#21208167
88 comments

I agree, your life sucks (43959) - you deserved it (4809)

On 07/13/2014 at 6:36pm - love - by justthinkofyourhand - United States (California)

Today, I saw a drunk woman drop her purse in the street. I picked it up and went to give it to her, only for her to scream at me for being a thief. Then she started crying, apologized and hugged me, then got angry again, and finally threw up on me. FML

#21208109
61 comments

I agree, your life sucks (49762) - you deserved it (4202)

On 07/13/2014 at 5:14pm - misc - by all puked out (man) - Netherlands

Today, my boyfriend and I were about to make love for the first time. The moment my bra came off, he started hyperventilating to the point of blacking out. So much for that. FML

#21208053
97 comments

I agree, your life sucks (53961) - you deserved it (5759)

On 07/13/2014 at 4:00pm - intimacy - by Anonymous (woman) - Spain (Catalonia)

Today, I sent my boyfriend a picture of my boobs. I quickly found out that I'd accidentally sent it to my sister instead. She sent me one back. FML

#21196202
152 comments

I agree, your life sucks (50186) - you deserved it (28349)

On 07/02/2014 at 1:01pm - intimacy - by boob sisters (woman) - United States (Georgia)



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