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  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Miss
  • Birth Date : Wednesday 21 November 1990 (25 years old)
  • <3 status : With someone
  • Number of visits : 10483
  • Number of comments : 748
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 4 posted

About emeraldisle : I'm awesome and I love cats.

After being on this site for a while, I've come to realise that sarcasm and humour are lost on a lot of people.

Message me if you could like chat on here. Don't message me if you're going to ask me to chat on another app or ask for nudes.

emeraldisle's page activity

Visits<b>French_giirl</b> - yesterday at 8:07am<b>ghetto_child</b> - yesterday at 10:36pm<b>jrmertz00</b> - yesterday at 10:09pm<b>spockadelic</b> - the 10/18/2016 at 8:08pm<b>kintoki25</b> - the 10/18/2016 at 5:37pm<b>xercister</b> - the 10/18/2016 at 3:48pm<b>roman11</b> - the 10/15/2016 at 12:24pm<b>jrunison</b> - the 10/12/2016 at 11:35pm<b>Garagedwella</b> - the 10/02/2016 at 4:37pm<b>chokolada</b> - the 10/01/2016 at 3:32pm<b>Dramori</b> - the 09/29/2016 at 5:26am<b>AlphaPrince13</b> - the 09/26/2016 at 10:44am<b>gwen128128</b> - the 09/26/2016 at 9:20am<b>peeta0330</b> - the 09/26/2016 at 8:40am<b>FalloutScrolls</b> - the 09/25/2016 at 11:33am<b>vhsjulia</b> - the 09/24/2016 at 11:53pm<b>mas12806</b> - the 09/24/2016 at 5:02pm<b>jasoncann</b> - the 09/24/2016 at 3:05am

Fucked!<b>peeta0330</b> - the 09/26/2016 at 2:40pm<b>vhsjulia</b> - the 09/25/2016 at 5:53am<b>gwen128128</b> - the 09/24/2016 at 8:54pm<b>stellasue11</b> - the 09/24/2016 at 6:30am<b>Garagedwella</b> - the 09/24/2016 at 2:41am<b>pantsman66</b> - the 09/19/2016 at 11:03pm<b>amehl977</b> - the 09/19/2016 at 1:08pm<b>jbuckets_404</b> - the 09/18/2016 at 9:08pm<b>ItnHmn</b> - the 09/18/2016 at 7:15pm<b>delichick</b> - the 09/03/2016 at 3:16am<b>Teyros</b> - the 08/20/2016 at 7:53am<b>Willman757</b> - the 08/18/2016 at 3:37pm<b>shiba10</b> - the 08/12/2016 at 4:39am<b>S_Melh</b> - the 08/11/2016 at 7:17am<b>tonyfan00</b> - the 08/04/2016 at 3:38am<b>Junkiegamer</b> - the 07/29/2016 at 1:59am<b>Godzillapro14</b> - the 07/28/2016 at 7:19pm<b>zaidthunder1</b> - the 07/19/2016 at 9:14pm

emeraldisle's FML badges

The Thumb returns

You have thumbed 5000 comments.

Hard at Work

Voting on an FML from the Work category on a Monday between 8 and 9am, how ironic.

Santa Claus

You've looked for Santa absolutely everywhere, and you managed to find him. Well done!

See all of emeraldisle's badges

emeraldisle's favorite FMLs

Today, I witnessed my husband in the shower singing Chicago's "You're the Inspiration" to his penis while manscaping. I guess that's a bond we'll never have. FML

by LD / 01/23/2015 at 11:46am / United States (Idaho) / Intimacy

Today, I mixed up my chapstick and cork grease. Now my clarinet smells like cherries, and my lips smell like a gym floor. FML

by Anonymous / 01/19/2015 at 12:17pm / United States (Ohio) / Miscellaneous

Today, I sat my son down for the sex talk. By the time it was over, he'd corrected me on several factual errors and told me what felching is. Now I remember why I never wanted kids. FML

by Anonymous / 01/19/2015 at 9:34am / United States (Maine) / Kids

Today, I told my dog to give me the stick he had in his mouth so I could throw it for him. After I picked it up I realized it was a dried-out piece of shit. FML

by Anonymous / 01/16/2015 at 7:37pm / United States (New Jersey) / Animals

Today, I realized that while I've been the same minuscule height for the past five years, my feet won't stop growing. I'm 5 foot and a size 12. I look like a clown. FML

by Anonymous / 01/16/2015 at 5:15pm / United States (Virginia) / Health

Today, my father was playing with my son and his toy animals. He picked one up and said, "What is this? Some kind of African horse?" It was a zebra. FML

by Lily_Rain77 / 01/07/2015 at 7:52pm / Canada (British Columbia) / Miscellaneous

This FML has been commented on by its original poster.

Today, I had to explain to my little brother that my pads were not in fact "big band-aids" and that he should probably remove them from his legs. FML

by Anonymous / 01/01/2015 at 10:09am / United States / Kids

Today, I witnessed my very overweight cat trying to jump over my fence, only to shit himself half way up, and then land in it. FML

by Mr_snuggels / 12/24/2014 at 3:05pm / Canada (Ontario) / Animals

This FML has been commented on by its original poster.

Today, my parents had a loud argument over who is worse in bed. FML

by cantunhear / 12/19/2014 at 10:16pm / United States (New York) / Miscellaneous

Today, my 5-year-old daughter was asked by her teacher to write a letter to each member of her family to read during the holidays. Her letter to me said, "Dear mommy, come on. You could have done better than dad." FML

by Lisa / 12/15/2014 at 10:38pm / United States (Missouri) / Kids

Today, my dad and grandpa came to a charity event that I helped set up for people who have autism. I appreciated their support, until I heard my dad say "Man, some of these 'tards are pretty hot." and my grandpa replying "Yeah. Probably like dead fish in bed, though." FML

by ashamed / 12/13/2014 at 9:02pm / Australia (Queensland) / Miscellaneous

Today, on a dimly lit red eye flight, I woke up to see my mom's head bobbing up and down in my dad's lap. I guess giving out stealthy blow jobs next to your sleeping son is no big deal. FML

by Anonymous / 12/04/2014 at 2:33pm / United States / Miscellaneous

Today, I met an American guy at a bar. I felt flattered when he said, "You know what they say about Swedish girls, all so beautiful." After a pause, he filled in with, "What the fuck happened to you?" FML

by peceout / 12/02/2014 at 3:48am / Sweden (Hallands Lan) / Love

This FML has been commented on by its original poster.

Today, I asked my girlfriend's father for permission to take his daughter's hand in marriage. He asked me "Which one?" I said "Uh, the one I'm dating... Lisa." He belched and said, "Yeah sure, throw 'er off a cliff for all I care. Piss off, boy." So much for chivalry. FML

by Anonymous / 11/29/2014 at 4:54pm / United States (Massachusetts) / Love

Today, I drove over an hour to my grandma's house for her birthday party. When she answered the door, her eyes went wide and she said angrily "No, not you!" and slammed the door shut in my face. FML

by unwanted / 11/26/2014 at 1:13pm / Canada (Quebec) / Miscellaneous