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emeraldisle

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emeraldisle

0Liked!

  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Miss
  • Birth Date : Saturday 22 November 1986 (27 years)
  • <3 status : With someone
  • Number of visits : 2719
  • Number of comments : 574
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 3 posted

About emeraldisle : I'm awesome.

Message me if you wanna chat. I love meeting new people. Don't be shy.

After being on this site for a while, I've come to realise that sarcasm and humour are lost on a lot of people.

emeraldisle's page activity

Visits<b>drumguy218</b> - 3 hours ago<b>ThriceWritten</b> - the 07/14/2014 at 1:22pm<b>katherineisacat</b> - the 07/14/2014 at 5:52am<b>sm159509</b> - the 07/14/2014 at 1:41am<b>Danny_Boy12</b> - the 07/13/2014 at 8:55pm<b>stevieman99</b> - the 07/13/2014 at 4:48pm<b>omgbrainZ</b> - the 07/13/2014 at 4:46pm<b>recklessryan</b> - the 07/13/2014 at 4:14pm<b>killthedead</b> - the 07/13/2014 at 3:44pm<b>mansfield_j</b> - the 07/13/2014 at 2:39pm<b>Sbx426</b> - the 07/13/2014 at 2:36pm<b>turtles4life</b> - the 07/13/2014 at 1:50pm<b>tuckit</b> - the 07/07/2014 at 8:25am<b>Reva750</b> - the 07/06/2014 at 9:03pm<b>abattior</b> - the 07/06/2014 at 3:43am<b>missmandersxoxo</b> - the 06/23/2014 at 3:30am<b>Luke1787</b> - the 06/18/2014 at 3:33am<b>Vitrolicz</b> - the 06/13/2014 at 1:23pm

emeraldisle's FML badges

I agree, their lives suck

200 votes confirming that their life is crap. It’s what the website is all about.

The Thumb strikes back

You have left your thumbprint on 2500 comments.

Keen reader – Level: master ninja

You have voted for 50% of the entire collection of FMLs to date.

See all of emeraldisle's badges

emeraldisle's favorite FMLs

Today, at the pool, a kid no older than 8 was sitting on the diving board, not letting anyone else use it. I went over and tried to reason with him, but he wouldn't listen. My uncle stormed over, said "I got this!" and punted him over the edge. We both got thrown out for "bullying" the kid. FML

#20827779
122 comments

I agree, your life sucks (46172) - you deserved it (6194)

On 08/08/2013 at 7:03pm - kids - by JuggaloSlasher15 (woman) - United States (California)

Today, it was my son's fifth birthday. I asked my grandmother, who is a baker, to make a birthday cake for the party. Two hours after the party started, she arrived drunk with a large ham with candles in it. FML

#20826835
118 comments

I agree, your life sucks (48762) - you deserved it (4325)

On 08/08/2013 at 4:03am - misc - by Anonymous - United States (Illinois)

Today, I walked in on my husband putting my anti-wrinkle cream on his balls. He said, "I thought it'd help." FML

#20822001
69 comments

I agree, your life sucks (48365) - you deserved it (4893)

On 08/05/2013 at 12:41pm - intimacy - by Serum - United States (Kansas)

Today, my parents held a big family dinner at our house. Being the only underage person there, I had to sit there while everyone got progressively drunker and started commenting on how eerily similar I look to Shamu the whale. FML

#20821917
78 comments

I agree, your life sucks (42918) - you deserved it (4231)

On 08/05/2013 at 11:33am - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States

Today, my step-brother said to me, "If we weren't related I would fuck you so hard." Mom says I should "be grateful for such a nice compliment." FML

#20809554
215 comments

I agree, your life sucks (62214) - you deserved it (5405)

On 07/29/2013 at 11:07am - misc - by PrettyScared (woman) - United States (North Carolina)

Today, my family and I went to feed carrots to the giraffes at the zoo. After I finished my first cup of carrots, I turned back to get some more. Suddenly, I was jerked back and a chunk of my hair was ripped out. The giraffe mistook the orange barrette in my hair for a carrot. FML

#20809312
79 comments

I agree, your life sucks (44409) - you deserved it (9600)

On 07/29/2013 at 4:19am - animals - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Illinois)

Today, while texting my boyfriend, I noticed that he copies and pastes old messages so he doesn't have to write new ones. FML

Today, I announced my third pregnancy to my family. My dad's only reaction was to scoff, "Really? Stop breeding already." FML

#20780277
122 comments

I agree, your life sucks (43308) - you deserved it (14335)

On 07/13/2013 at 4:26pm - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - Canada (Ontario)

Today, I woke up to a strange noise. I looked over to see my drunk husband standing at the dresser. I asked him what he was doing. "Peeing." I asked him, "In the sock drawer?" There was a pause. "Am I peeing in the wrong drawer?" FML

#20779714
102 comments

I agree, your life sucks (50366) - you deserved it (4165)

On 07/13/2013 at 10:32am - misc - by speechless - United States (Indiana)

Today, I was explaining to my son that porn isn't a realistic depiction of sex. Just as I finished explaining to him that threesomes rarely happen in real life, he started crying. I feel like a dream-crushing monster. FML

#20756438
122 comments

I agree, your life sucks (47262) - you deserved it (9220)

On 06/30/2013 at 5:44pm - kids - by sorry, kiddo (man) - Belgium (Brussels Hoofdstedelijk Gewest)

Today, a group of friends and I went out to a fancy club together. The doorman checked us out and let everyone in. Everyone except me, that is. The doorman's reason: "Her face looks like a baboon's arse." My "friends" all went in anyway, leaving me to walk all the way home. FML

#20753013
129 comments

I agree, your life sucks (48554) - you deserved it (4377)

On 06/28/2013 at 7:22pm - misc - by arse-face (woman) - Ireland (Clare)

Today, I went on a date with a seemingly really awesome guy. It went quite well, until dessert came and he started telling me why bestiality "isn't really so wrong, you know?" Riiiggghhttt. Looks like I'm still single. FML

#20742848
96 comments

I agree, your life sucks (42884) - you deserved it (3912)

On 06/23/2013 at 3:39pm - love - by kittyfiddlernono (woman) - Bulgaria (Pernik)

Today, my drunk dad decided to wake me up by lobbing our cat directly into my now-mauled face. FML

#20739340
34 comments

I agree, your life sucks (40176) - you deserved it (2835)

On 06/21/2013 at 4:38pm - animals - by Anonymous (woman) - Netherlands (Noord-Brabant)

Today, my grandma's new dildo arrived in the mail. We buried her yesterday. FML

#20731352
169 comments

I agree, your life sucks (68711) - you deserved it (3947)

On 06/17/2013 at 12:43pm - intimacy - by hinting (man) - United States (Michigan)

Today, after dating for almost a year, I decided to introduce my parents to the man I was sure I'd fallen in love with. When dad saw him, his and my boyfriend's face completely dropped. I asked them what was wrong because I could feel the discomfort. Turns out, I'm dating my dad's drug dealer. FML

#20724998
165 comments

I agree, your life sucks (72762) - you deserved it (7203)

On 06/14/2013 at 2:48am - love - by explanations (woman) - United States (Illinois)



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