Submit your FML story

  • - Concept: An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
  • - CAUTION: Read your message over. Please don't use text language and avoid making too many spelling mistakes.
  • - Please note that spam and nonsensical stories will result in you being blocked from accessing FML.
Your nick:
Categories :
Man or woman?


Online | Search for a member



  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Miss
  • Birth Date : Wednesday 21 November 1990 (25 years)
  • <3 status : With someone
  • Number of visits : 6420
  • Number of comments : 654
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 4 posted

About emeraldisle : I'm awesome.

After being on this site for a while, I've come to realise that sarcasm and humour are lost on a lot of people.

emeraldisle's page activity

Visits<b>rcarn</b> - yesterday at 5:34pm<b>Dwarfed</b> - yesterday at 11:30pm<b>threer</b> - yesterday at 7:29pm<b>PlsNarwals</b> - the 11/23/2015 at 12:03am<b>StormfrontX33</b> - the 11/22/2015 at 9:00pm<b>nhatt</b> - the 11/21/2015 at 1:33pm<b>majoroftheair</b> - the 11/21/2015 at 7:48am<b>Hiimhaileypotter</b> - the 11/19/2015 at 1:18pm<b>MrFloooo</b> - the 11/18/2015 at 12:44am<b>dontmindme7</b> - the 11/17/2015 at 9:54pm<b>sethsmith11</b> - the 11/14/2015 at 2:11pm<b>FalloutScrolls</b> - the 11/13/2015 at 8:36pm<b>MortenM</b> - the 11/13/2015 at 8:12am<b>ZombieGirl40</b> - the 11/13/2015 at 4:33am<b>AwesomeAsylum</b> - the 11/12/2015 at 2:08pm<b>jaydoug92</b> - the 11/11/2015 at 6:51pm<b>2infbvcxxcvbj</b> - the 11/11/2015 at 2:40pm<b>TCRII</b> - the 11/11/2015 at 1:44am

Fucked!<b>rcarn</b> - 24 hours ago<b>ZombieGirl40</b> - the 11/13/2015 at 10:33am<b>CCRider</b> - the 11/10/2015 at 3:08pm<b>Seashells77</b> - the 11/10/2015 at 5:35am<b>delfino1604</b> - the 11/10/2015 at 1:37am<b>HarshD9619</b> - the 11/07/2015 at 10:01pm<b>The_Avatar</b> - the 11/03/2015 at 3:51pm<b>boultzboi</b> - the 11/02/2015 at 4:17am<b>barisozdemir</b> - the 11/02/2015 at 12:30am<b>klc20071989</b> - the 10/30/2015 at 1:16am<b>Rodville</b> - the 10/29/2015 at 10:15pm<b>Envy22</b> - the 10/28/2015 at 5:41pm<b>Scrambled</b> - the 10/09/2015 at 2:44pm<b>BMBBball31</b> - the 10/04/2015 at 9:16pm<b>StiffPvtParts</b> - the 09/28/2015 at 1:59am<b>kunal222</b> - the 09/19/2015 at 3:45am<b>Stephc3213</b> - the 09/18/2015 at 12:40am<b>hasanjk</b> - the 09/09/2015 at 5:31am

emeraldisle's FML badges

One more and it's business time

You've received 68 likes on your profile. Kinky.


You read an FML that mentions a badge, and in return you've been awarded a badge. A badge inside a badge.


Editing your comments can help you avoid embarrassment, and it might make you seem smarter.

See all of emeraldisle's badges

emeraldisle's favorite FMLs

Today, I was at the mall with my young daughter. I hate pooping in public but I really had to go so I brought her in with me. Thinking we were alone, I started to go and my daughter yelled, "Good job, mommy, you're using the potty like a big girl!" I then heard laughing. FML


I agree, your life sucks (38067) - you deserved it (4650)

On 10/23/2014 at 2:43pm - kids - by Anonymous - United States

Today, after waiting for years for my oldest daughter to grow out of Twilight, my younger daughter discovered it. FML


I agree, your life sucks (35315) - you deserved it (3531)

On 10/19/2014 at 10:20pm - kids - by team hit bella with a car (man) - United States (Maryland)

Today, as a limo driver, I had to drive 8 guys for a night-out from their wives. I put the Michigan/Rutgers game on the radio, thinking they would appreciate that. Apparently, they wanted to listen to their "pump-up" songs instead, which were mostly Katy Perry songs. FML


I agree, your life sucks (38710) - you deserved it (4950)

On 10/06/2014 at 11:05am - work - by theseguysarewhipped... - Canada (Ontario)

Today, I overheard my brother telling his friend that having sex with a girl who's on the pill gives the guy female hormones and "turns you into like, half-chick, half-dude." He was serious. How am I related to this moron? FML


I agree, your life sucks (36386) - you deserved it (2949)

On 10/03/2014 at 4:43pm - kids - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Arizona)

Today, a guy told me I "kind of look like a girl" if he looked at me from the right angle. Well, I am a girl, and this is the closest thing to a compliment that I've gotten in years. FML

Today, I went on Facebook, only to see my grandpa had posted "feeling horny" with my grandma. FML


I agree, your life sucks (38700) - you deserved it (3827)

On 09/19/2014 at 10:27pm - misc - by failingdaily - New Zealand (Hawke's Bay)

Today, while on the bus, a friendly-looking guy smiled at me, so I smiled back. He then pointed at my teeth and said, "You gonna get those fixed, or just keep them as a conversation starter?" FML

Today, my cat decided to use my bowl of rice krispies as his litter box. FML

Today, I learned that while other people drunk call their exes, I drunk adopt cats. Seven cats, to be exact. FML


I agree, your life sucks (44553) - you deserved it (10714)

On 08/30/2014 at 7:56am - animals - by cat lady (woman) - Norway (Rogaland)

Today, I got my wisdom teeth removed. All I can remember is crying to my mom because I thought spoons were taking over the world. FML

Today, I asked my dad to give me a haircut. After 20 minutes of "fuck"s and "shit"s, he gave up and just shaved my head bald. I pull off the look so badly that two people I don't even know have already told me I look like a psychopath. FML


I agree, your life sucks (36441) - you deserved it (6135)

On 08/26/2014 at 3:12pm - misc - by alanh69 (man) - United States (Iowa)

Today, I was watching my 3 year old brother. He asked me to get him a cookie and I said, "What's the magic word?" He looked at me angrily and said "Bitch, please." FML


I agree, your life sucks (46790) - you deserved it (7929)

On 08/01/2014 at 9:57pm - kids - by WickedRene (woman) - United States (New York)

Today, my girlfriend's dad returned home from deployment. Being the grade A fucktard that I am, I got flustered and asked, "So um, did you make it back?" He looked me dead in the eyes and said completely deadpan, "No, obviously I died. Moron." FML


I agree, your life sucks (36677) - you deserved it (24621)

On 08/01/2014 at 4:45pm - misc - by whoops (man) - United States (Indiana)

Today, I confided to my grandma that I'm suffering from depression and I feel like a burden to everyone. She replied that her grandpa used to suffer from depression too, but that he'd cured himself in the end, namely by committing suicide. Thanks, grandma, thanks. FML


I agree, your life sucks (42864) - you deserved it (4018)

On 08/01/2014 at 4:09pm - health - by lacieQ (woman) - Canada

Today, my son said his first word. Unfortunately, that word was "cock." I've tried convincing myself that he's trying to say "clock" but I just can't do it. FML


I agree, your life sucks (42254) - you deserved it (7484)

On 07/31/2014 at 12:24pm - kids - by Anonymous - United States (Oregon)

Mselle Risa's illustrated FML

The Artist's interview

All illustrated FMLs

FML's blog

  • FML Pics : The top 4 pics
  • They say that a picture is worth a boring bunch of words thrown at you by a corporate robot. That's true. Corporate robots are the worst. Anyway, the FML Pics app is still being downloaded all over the…

Tuesday 24 November 2015

The whole blog

FMyLife, world tour

Available on: