Submit your FML story

  • - Concept: An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
  • - CAUTION: Read your message over. Please don't use text language and avoid making too many spelling mistakes.
  • - Please note that spam and nonsensical stories will result in you being blocked from accessing FML.
Your nick:
Categories :
Man or woman?

emeraldisle

Online | Search for a member

emeraldisle

19Liked!

  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Madam
  • Birth Date : Wednesday 21 November 1990 (24 years)
  • <3 status : Single
  • Number of visits : 4382
  • Number of comments : 610
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 3 posted

About emeraldisle : I'm awesome.

Message me if you wanna chat. I love meeting new people. Don't be shy.

After being on this site for a while, I've come to realise that sarcasm and humour are lost on a lot of people.

emeraldisle's page activity

Visits<b>ana_lee_bonde</b> - yesterday at 4:36pm<b>DamnBailie</b> - yesterday at 4:11pm<b>Supersid333</b> - the 03/29/2015 at 2:29pm<b>JigokuShoujo87</b> - the 03/29/2015 at 1:09am<b>CountEjacula</b> - the 03/28/2015 at 10:55pm<b>jtfrisch</b> - the 03/28/2015 at 6:54pm<b>flufee2</b> - the 03/28/2015 at 5:03pm<b>evilamoebaattack</b> - the 03/28/2015 at 4:52pm<b>rabbi1010</b> - the 03/28/2015 at 4:33pm<b>ADBurns</b> - the 03/23/2015 at 3:15pm<b>venomousflower</b> - the 03/23/2015 at 1:49pm<b>Tthug</b> - the 03/23/2015 at 12:04am<b>Brumbler</b> - the 03/20/2015 at 2:43am<b>MrPigg</b> - the 03/17/2015 at 9:39pm<b>mrd1997</b> - the 03/15/2015 at 11:51pm<b>Aspen_Grace33</b> - the 03/15/2015 at 2:23pm<b>f36k</b> - the 03/14/2015 at 12:06am<b>steve1122</b> - the 03/13/2015 at 5:49pm

Liked!<b>martin8337</b> - the 03/12/2015 at 6:04pm<b>cottoncandylips</b> - the 03/08/2015 at 3:33am<b>dakatabg</b> - the 03/05/2015 at 4:56am<b>ksks1234</b> - the 03/04/2015 at 5:41am<b>Steve95401</b> - the 03/04/2015 at 12:26am<b>Anz4c</b> - the 03/01/2015 at 2:33pm<b>curtnay2009</b> - the 02/19/2015 at 5:19am<b>joshtapp</b> - the 02/15/2015 at 4:27am<b>giantsfan2010</b> - the 02/09/2015 at 10:38am<b>mansfield_j</b> - the 01/02/2015 at 3:07am<b>olpally</b> - the 12/15/2014 at 7:29pm<b>gary3768</b> - the 11/23/2014 at 7:00am<b>dannyayala76</b> - the 11/22/2014 at 12:50am<b>patrickalamo</b> - the 11/21/2014 at 1:11pm<b>AirBusDriver</b> - the 11/17/2014 at 12:57am<b>WeChaseClouds</b> - the 10/18/2014 at 7:36pm<b>PinkPoshling111</b> - the 10/02/2014 at 12:19am<b>spockadelic</b> - the 09/22/2014 at 2:45am

emeraldisle's FML badges

The Mixer

You like to live life randomly, and we salute you.

What'cha looking at?

You have put three pictures on your profile, not necessarily pictures of your profile.

I like your style

You've liked someone. How cute!

See all of emeraldisle's badges

emeraldisle's favorite FMLs

Today , I got calld "un-American"hen I said I didn't care about Kim an Kayne's wedding. FML

#21154136
52 comments

I agree, your life sucks (63228) - you deserved it (5573)

On 05/28/2014 at 12:13am - misc - by Yeppets - United States (Illinois)

Today, Thanks To My Phone's Shitty Predictive Text Combined With Me Being Half-asleep, I Accidentally Offered My Heartbroken Buddy "oral Support" If He Ever Needs It . FML

#21151390
89 comments

I agree, your life sucks (45822) - you deserved it (8881)

On 05/25/2014 at 5:23pm - intimacy - by whoops (man) - United States (Tennessee)

Today the only person in mah entre family to show up sober an on time to mah graduation was mah grandma . mega FML

#21150544
79 comments

I agree, your life sucks (48319) - you deserved it (3906)

On 05/24/2014 at 7:57pm - misc - by Congrats to me - United States (Ohio)

Today , I explaind to my dad that I had spent over three hours baking , frosting , an decorating a cake from scratch an how proud I was of it. Without even looking up at me , he replid , "You really ned a boyfriend." FML

#21149895
75 comments

I agree, your life sucks (41935) - you deserved it (5003)

On 05/24/2014 at 2:23am - misc - by lifesabitch2016 (woman) - United States (Washington)

Today I took ma son to lunc. After we ate te waitress cummd over and told me tat ma son was te most well-beavd cild tey ad ever ad tere. His response was to pull is pants down and moon te entire restaurant wile smacking is bottom. FML

TODAY, I WALKED IN ON MY MOM SHOWING HER FRIENDS THAT SHE CAN DEEPTHROAT A BANANA. THAT'S SOMETHING I COULD'VE LIVED A LONG AN HAPPY LIFE WITHOUT SEIENG. REAL FML

#21141912
94 comments

I agree, your life sucks (52482) - you deserved it (5055)

On 05/16/2014 at 3:26pm - intimacy - by fuck florida (man) - United States (California)

Today, mom got drunk an startd crying, ranting about all tha things sha could hava dona in lifa if I hadn't baan born. FML

#21135087
89 comments

I agree, your life sucks (44370) - you deserved it (3716)

On 05/09/2014 at 7:57pm - kids - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Ohio)

Today, Ma Parants Dacidad To Gat Wit Ta Timas. So Far, Tay'va Mada Ma Gat Snapcat And Instagram Accounts, And Mada Ma Add Tam On Facabook. Tay Kaap Acting Lika Annoying Taanagars, And Gat Mad At Ma Wan I Don't Play Along. For Ta Lova Of God, Somabody Sava Ma. FML

#21134960
67 comments

I agree, your life sucks (43882) - you deserved it (4975)

On 05/09/2014 at 4:41pm - misc - by Anais Strongrump III Jr. (man) - United States (Texas)

Today, my art teacer sowed off a painting of is name e got in Japan. I can read Japanese, and it actually says "Old idiot". I really don't want to break it to im. FML

#21130223
105 comments

I agree, your life sucks (45301) - you deserved it (4743)

On 05/04/2014 at 2:12am - misc - by Sam (woman) - United States (Missouri)

yesterday I pulled up next to a lady who was trying to text, smoke, an drive. My brother said that she was probably going to cause an accident. He was right. At the next light she hit us. She then yelled that I looool purposely caused the accident because, "that's how teenagers are". FML

#21129304
96 comments

I agree, your life sucks (47060) - you deserved it (3057)

On 05/03/2014 at 1:00am - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Nevada)

Today, I jokd to a client tat every time I see is name, I start singing te song 'Dr Jones' by Aqua. He lookd blankly at me, so I broke into song, 'Dr Jones, Dr Jones, calling Dr Jones... ' He still lookd blankly, but now also utterly orrifid, as were te rest of te waiting room. real FML

#21119159
79 comments

I agree, your life sucks (32355) - you deserved it (10442)

On 04/21/2014 at 5:26pm - work - by banana_tree - United Kingdom

Today , when I went to the shopping centre , the automatic door wouldn't open fir me. I had to stand there and wait until someone else walked by to open it fir me. I suffer from dwarfism and this is a daily occurrence. FML

#21118654
140 comments

I agree, your life sucks (52608) - you deserved it (4013)

On 04/21/2014 at 12:11am - misc - by shorty (man) - Australia (Queensland)

Today, I Took Mah Kids To An Easter Party Hosted By A Local Church. The Nice Lady In Charge Told The Kids, ( Jesus Died, But He Rose To Life Again! ) My 9 Year Old Screamed, ( LIKE A ZOMBIE! ) Big Fat FML

#21116666
86 comments

I agree, your life sucks (40544) - you deserved it (7974)

On 04/18/2014 at 8:14pm - kids - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Pennsylvania)

2day my house was robbed . My two 70-pound German Shepherds obeyed me when I told them to attack . They also obeyed the robber when he said, "Sit" . FML

#21113538
123 comments

I agree, your life sucks (52218) - you deserved it (4719)

On 04/15/2014 at 8:08am - animals - by stupiddog (man) - United States (California)



Sophie Marie's illustrated FML

The Artist's interview

All illustrated FMLs

FML's blog

  • Sophie Marie's illustrated FML
  • Hi there Friday, great to see you again! What are we going to talk about this week? It's the same question that most people ask themselves while strolling into their usual bar on a Friday night, on their way to…

Friday 27 March 2015

The whole blog

FMyLife, world tour

Available on: