Submit your FML story

  • - Concept: An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
  • - CAUTION: Read your message over. Please don't use text language and avoid making too many spelling mistakes.
  • - Please note that spam and nonsensical stories will result in you being blocked from accessing FML.
Your nick:
Categories :
Man or woman?

emeraldisle

Offline (5 hours ago) | Search for a member

emeraldisle

0Liked!

  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Miss
  • Birth Date : Saturday 22 November 1986 (27 years)
  • <3 status : With someone
  • Number of visits : 2796
  • Number of comments : 575
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 3 posted

About emeraldisle : I'm awesome.

Message me if you wanna chat. I love meeting new people. Don't be shy.

After being on this site for a while, I've come to realise that sarcasm and humour are lost on a lot of people.

emeraldisle's page activity

Visits<b>Pyro1921</b> - the 08/16/2014 at 10:18pm<b>hanamichi</b> - the 08/13/2014 at 1:58pm<b>TheThirdi</b> - the 08/12/2014 at 5:42pm<b>WizardlyUnicorn</b> - the 08/09/2014 at 5:16pm<b>ActionFearo</b> - the 08/09/2014 at 5:06pm<b>DetroitDov</b> - the 08/08/2014 at 2:48am<b>agentlilye</b> - the 08/07/2014 at 6:55pm<b>Zero_TAlent_</b> - the 08/06/2014 at 11:14pm<b>Ayezed</b> - the 08/03/2014 at 3:35pm<b>str8blunted247</b> - the 08/02/2014 at 10:31pm<b>killthedead</b> - the 08/01/2014 at 10:04am<b>HumbleExistence</b> - the 08/01/2014 at 3:24am<b>CammyGal</b> - the 08/01/2014 at 2:42am<b>rkdstp1995</b> - the 08/01/2014 at 2:34am<b>hulopro</b> - the 08/01/2014 at 2:13am<b>inner_peace</b> - the 08/01/2014 at 1:58am<b>DucHung</b> - the 08/01/2014 at 1:58am<b>baseballx07</b> - the 08/01/2014 at 1:26am

emeraldisle's FML badges

YDI master

That was your 500th “you totally deserved it” vote. We admire your dedication.

I agree, their lives suck

200 votes confirming that their life is crap. It’s what the website is all about.

The Thumb strikes back

You have left your thumbprint on 2500 comments.

See all of emeraldisle's badges

emeraldisle's favorite FMLs

Today, my professor tried to scare the hiccups out of me. Some pee came out instead. FML

#20937069
76 comments

I agree, your life sucks (37732) - you deserved it (3794)

On 10/28/2013 at 6:39pm - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Pennsylvania)

Today, my girlfriend asked me if I could love anything more than her, and if so, what. I guess "bacon" was the wrong answer. FML

#20936378
196 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27309) - you deserved it (40444)

On 10/28/2013 at 12:58am - love - by BaconLover - Japan

Today, I was reminded that while I have a nice waist, bum and boobs, I'm unspeakably ugly. I was walking down the street when a guy wolf-whistled from behind me, and when I turned around, he visibly recoiled in disgust. FML

#20908389
135 comments

I agree, your life sucks (46377) - you deserved it (3796)

On 10/05/2013 at 1:51pm - misc - by british_babe (woman) - United Kingdom (London, City of)

Today, I sent my boyfriend a text asking him to come over a little later and have some "fun" with me. He texted back, "WTF babe? Breaking Bad's on tonight. You got a dildo, fucking use it." FML

#20900698
292 comments

I agree, your life sucks (61124) - you deserved it (25689)

On 09/29/2013 at 3:46pm - intimacy - by -___- (woman) - United States (Illinois)

Today, my girlfriend walked in on me taking a dump, and started plucking her eyebrows. When I told her I was uncomfortable, she said, "Aww, is my baby's poo shy? Is it, is it?" and pinched my cheek. FML

#20900665
114 comments

I agree, your life sucks (41053) - you deserved it (6879)

On 09/29/2013 at 3:21pm - misc - by noweddingforyou (man) - Canada (Ontario)

Today, I found a pamphlet for alcohol counseling on my front door today. I think it was from the guys who pick up my recycling. FML

#20886188
70 comments

I agree, your life sucks (35515) - you deserved it (10570)

On 09/18/2013 at 2:19am - health - by I get the hint -

Today, after getting back from a year-long world trip, I nearly fell on my knees and cried when I saw boxes of Twinkies at my local gas station. Finding out they were back was the highlight of the year. FML

Today, I told my boyfriend I loved him. He told me he was a dinosaur. FML

#20883504
121 comments

I agree, your life sucks (42068) - you deserved it (5364)

On 09/16/2013 at 7:09am - love - by Kit (woman) - United Kingdom (Swindon)

Today, I saw an elderly gentleman in the street wearing a shirt with a big QR code on it. Amused, I used an app on my phone to decode it. It gave me a shortened web address, which I followed, only to be faced with a picture of the same gentleman naked, grinning, and giving a thumbs up. FML

#20882561
154 comments

I agree, your life sucks (54837) - you deserved it (27555)

On 09/15/2013 at 3:53pm - intimacy - by Anonymous (woman) - Romania (Bucuresti)

Today, I was playing World of Warcraft, when all of a sudden, I remembered I was supposed to be at a wedding. I was 25 minutes late to my own wedding. FML

#20880446
281 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22164) - you deserved it (89011)

On 09/14/2013 at 1:23am - misc - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Ohio)

Today, I was watching a movie on TV. One of the characters has the same name as my dog, and when his name was called, my dog got so excited that he jumped face-first into my TV. FML

#20876988
107 comments

I agree, your life sucks (49437) - you deserved it (3941)

On 09/11/2013 at 12:57pm - animals - by ugh Buck! (woman) - United States

Today, I came out of the closet. Now whenever I'm getting ready to go somewhere with my dad he says, "Lesgo, lesbo." FML

#20876692
165 comments

I agree, your life sucks (54383) - you deserved it (12193)

On 09/11/2013 at 2:17am - misc - by spiritbeast33 (woman) - United States (California)

Today, a week after my dad discovered Family Guy and started mindlessly repeating catchphrases from it 24/7, I finally lost my temper and told him how incredibly annoying it is. He just paused, turned to look me in the eyes, and said, "Shut up, Meg." FML

#20870528
144 comments

I agree, your life sucks (51503) - you deserved it (18756)

On 09/06/2013 at 6:56pm - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States

Today, I collected my new timetable at college only to find I've been dropped from all my classes. I've been listed as deceased. I'm definitely not dead and have no idea how I supposedly died. FML

#20867417
104 comments

I agree, your life sucks (48395) - you deserved it (2467)

On 09/04/2013 at 11:59am - work - by resurrected - United Kingdom (West Sussex)

Today, I read a seemingly serious article online about giving your smartphone some extra charge by putting it in the microwave for one minute. My phone is now fried. FML

#20864782
514 comments

I agree, your life sucks (17835) - you deserved it (127983)

On 09/02/2013 at 4:37pm - misc - by Anonymous - United States (Arkansas)



FML's blog

  • FML on vacation #2: In slow-moving hell
  • It was once a dream, now it’s come true. We’re at the place that was allocated months ago for preprogrammed, enforced holiday fun time. We’ve put on some cargo shorts, slipped on some of those…

Wednesday 13 August 2014

The whole blog

FMyLife, world tour

Available on: