About emeraldisle : I'm awesome.
Message me if you wanna chat. I love meeting new people. Don't be shy.
After being on this site for a while, I've come to realise that sarcasm and humour are lost on a lot of people.
Why am I up so early?
You commented on an FML between 6 and 7 am.
50 favourites
Love knows no boundaries. You’ve already got 50 FMLs in your favourites list!
An insomniac or a creature of the dark
You commented on an FML between 1 and 3 am.
Today, my daughter learned a new song. This would be great, except for the lisp her teacher has. I now have a child screaming about the "itchy bitchy spider" at the top of her lungs. FML
I agree, your life sucks (27365) - you deserved it (1754)
On 01/08/2013 at 8:01pm - kids - by ugh (woman) - United States (Michigan)
Today, I learned that toddlers cannot fully digest raisins. I learned this first-hand when my 15-month-old began pooping them whole. In the bathtub. FML
I agree, your life sucks (13904) - you deserved it (5873)
On 01/04/2013 at 11:59am - kids - by Raela (woman) - United States (New Jersey)
Today, I went on a blind date. As soon as my date saw me walking towards him, he checked his watch and said, "Oops, wrong place." Then walked right past me. FML
I agree, your life sucks (16379) - you deserved it (1387)
On 01/04/2013 at 1:12am - love - by Tiffosaur - United States
Today, I found out that there's something my new wife hates more than spiders. Black people. FML
I agree, your life sucks (19284) - you deserved it (4099)
On 01/03/2013 at 9:19pm - health - by WellShit (man) - United States (Minnesota)
Today, my boyfriend took me to his house and introduced me to his parents. He also showed me around his bedroom. I think he forgot to remove the dartboard on his wall, taped to which was a swiss-cheesed printout of one of my Facebook photos. FML
I agree, your life sucks (25613) - you deserved it (2574)
On 12/31/2012 at 7:55pm - love - by WasZumTeufel? (woman) - Germany (Nordrhein-Westfalen)
Today, I woke up to find pieces of a dead spider stuck in my braces. FML
I agree, your life sucks (43363) - you deserved it (2491)
On 12/26/2012 at 2:30pm - misc - by gaggin - United States (California)
Today, I baked some regular brownies for my friend. Just to mess with him, after he ate some, I said they had weed in them. He trashed my room in anger, and still won't believe me when I tell him that I didn't actually slip him any drugs. FML
I agree, your life sucks (8252) - you deserved it (25692)
On 12/21/2012 at 3:48pm - misc - by mateyouremental - United Kingdom (London, City of)
Today, I have a very uncomfortable cyst in my armpit and a sprained ankle both on my right side, resulting in me limping and keeping my arm awkwardly plastered to my side. My fiancé keeps walking like me and calling me Igor, saying "Yes, Master" whenever I ask him for something. FML
I agree, your life sucks (23890) - you deserved it (2652)
On 12/19/2012 at 12:16am - health - by Igor (woman) - United States (Pennsylvania)
Today, a friend informed me that my dog's name means "penis" in Greek. I live in a predominantly Greek neighbourhood, and apparently I've been screaming for "dong" every evening for the past 3 years. No wonder they don't talk to me much. FML
I agree, your life sucks (25195) - you deserved it (7593)
On 12/18/2012 at 10:30am - misc - by Dog_Lover (woman) - Canada (Quebec)
Today, on the way out to buy groceries, my boyfriend asked if I'd like him to buy some of my favourite flowers. Happy with his rare show of affection, I said yes. When he returned, he gave me a bag of our usual brand of flour and laughed hysterically in my face. FML
I agree, your life sucks (19858) - you deserved it (3293)
On 12/15/2012 at 7:06pm - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United Kingdom (London, City of)
Today, my best friend announced she was getting married. I've always wanted to be a bridesmaid but she then added, "You can't be in the bridal party because you don't have the same body type as the other bridesmaids. But you can still come to the bachelorette party!" FML
I agree, your life sucks (23047) - you deserved it (1661)
On 12/07/2012 at 1:01am - misc - by SBCR (woman) - United States (Iowa)
Today, I realized the number of cats I currently have is higher than the number of guys I've ever dated. FML
I agree, your life sucks (13869) - you deserved it (11366)
On 11/19/2012 at 11:15am - animals - by crazycatlady (woman) - United States
Today, my crush finally agreed to spend the night with me. I told my parents to act normal for one night. Apparently, "normal" is strutting around naked and acting like a chicken. FML
I agree, your life sucks (18771) - you deserved it (3766)
On 11/17/2012 at 8:34am - love - by schooyou101 - United States (Kansas)
Today, a homeless man asked me for some money to eat. He ate the five dollars I gave him. FML
I agree, your life sucks (18502) - you deserved it (2539)
On 11/13/2012 at 6:34am - money - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Pennsylvania)
Today, I was visiting family in Oregon. I did not know it was illegal to pump your own gas; the cops were involved. FML
I agree, your life sucks (19327) - you deserved it (1386)
On 11/12/2012 at 1:14am - misc - by Anonymous - United States
Monday 20 May 2013
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