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  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Madam
  • Birth Date : Wednesday 21 November 1990 (24 years)
  • <3 status : Single
  • Number of visits : 5356
  • Number of comments : 628
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 3 posted

About emeraldisle : I'm awesome.

Message me if you wanna chat. I love meeting new people. Don't be shy.

After being on this site for a while, I've come to realise that sarcasm and humour are lost on a lot of people.

emeraldisle's page activity

Visits<b>karacakal2</b> - 4 hours ago<b>10nachoman10</b> - 21 hours ago<b>lil_jimmy</b> - yesterday at 8:31pm<b>jordanrecatto</b> - yesterday at 1:52pm<b>JoshWade62</b> - yesterday at 1:23pm<b>python199</b> - the 07/02/2015 at 10:31pm<b>devildog562</b> - the 07/02/2015 at 10:04pm<b>disbatch</b> - the 07/02/2015 at 1:50am<b>404usernotfound</b> - the 07/01/2015 at 6:40pm<b>Iwtumn</b> - the 07/01/2015 at 1:50pm<b>volleyball2700</b> - the 07/01/2015 at 12:16pm<b>jazzybrar</b> - the 06/30/2015 at 3:11pm<b>crazy_loner</b> - the 06/30/2015 at 1:38am<b>ahmadmuneer</b> - the 06/30/2015 at 12:48am<b>FoxHunt9119</b> - the 06/30/2015 at 12:32am<b>MrDrDaBoss</b> - the 06/30/2015 at 12:18am<b>sturschaedel</b> - the 06/29/2015 at 5:52pm<b>Jake42100</b> - the 06/29/2015 at 5:15pm

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emeraldisle's favorite FMLs

Today, I was at the mall with my young daughter. I hate pooping in public but I really had to go so I brought her in with me. Thinking we were alone, I started to go and my daughter yelled, "Good job, mommy, you're using the potty like a big girl!" I then heard laughing. FML


I agree, your life sucks (37331) - you deserved it (4574)

On 10/23/2014 at 2:43pm - kids - by Anonymous - United States

Today, after waiting for years for my oldest daughter to grow out of Twilight, my younger daughter discovered it. FML


I agree, your life sucks (32312) - you deserved it (3038)

On 10/19/2014 at 10:20pm - kids - by team hit bella with a car (man) - United States (Maryland)

Today, as a limo driver, I had to drive 8 guys for a night-out from their wives. I put the Michigan/Rutgers game on the radio, thinking they would appreciate that. Apparently, they wanted to listen to their "pump-up" songs instead, which were mostly Katy Perry songs. FML


I agree, your life sucks (37548) - you deserved it (4801)

On 10/06/2014 at 11:05am - work - by theseguysarewhipped... - Canada (Ontario)

Today, I overheard my brother telling his friend that having sex with a girl who's on the pill gives the guy female hormones and "turns you into like, half-chick, half-dude." He was serious. How am I related to this moron? FML


I agree, your life sucks (33392) - you deserved it (2456)

On 10/03/2014 at 4:43pm - kids - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Arizona)

Today, a guy told me I "kind of look like a girl" if he looked at me from the right angle. Well, I am a girl, and this is the closest thing to a compliment that I've gotten in years. FML

Today, I went on Facebook, only to see my grandpa had posted "feeling horny" with my grandma. FML


I agree, your life sucks (37256) - you deserved it (3709)

On 09/19/2014 at 10:27pm - misc - by failingdaily - New Zealand (Hawke's Bay)

Today, while on the bus, a friendly-looking guy smiled at me, so I smiled back. He then pointed at my teeth and said, "You gonna get those fixed, or just keep them as a conversation starter?" FML

Today, my cat decided to use my bowl of rice krispies as his litter box. FML

Today, I learned that while other people drunk call their exes, I drunk adopt cats. Seven cats, to be exact. FML


I agree, your life sucks (43589) - you deserved it (10425)

On 08/30/2014 at 7:56am - animals - by cat lady (woman) - Norway (Rogaland)

Today, I got my wisdom teeth removed. All I can remember is crying to my mom because I thought spoons were taking over the world. FML

Today, I asked my dad to give me a haircut. After 20 minutes of "fuck"s and "shit"s, he gave up and just shaved my head bald. I pull off the look so badly that two people I don't even know have already told me I look like a psychopath. FML


I agree, your life sucks (35675) - you deserved it (6021)

On 08/26/2014 at 3:12pm - misc - by alanh69 (man) - United States (Iowa)

Today, I was watching my 3 year old brother. He asked me to get him a cookie and I said, "What's the magic word?" He looked at me angrily and said "Bitch, please." FML


I agree, your life sucks (45729) - you deserved it (7794)

On 08/01/2014 at 9:57pm - kids - by WickedRene (woman) - United States (New York)

Today, my girlfriend's dad returned home from deployment. Being the grade A fucktard that I am, I got flustered and asked, "So um, did you make it back?" He looked me dead in the eyes and said completely deadpan, "No, obviously I died. Moron." FML


I agree, your life sucks (34056) - you deserved it (22639)

On 08/01/2014 at 4:45pm - misc - by whoops (man) - United States (Indiana)

Today, I confided to my grandma that I'm suffering from depression and I feel like a burden to everyone. She replied that her grandpa used to suffer from depression too, but that he'd cured himself in the end, namely by committing suicide. Thanks, grandma, thanks. FML


I agree, your life sucks (41640) - you deserved it (3920)

On 08/01/2014 at 4:09pm - health - by lacieQ (woman) - Canada

Today, my son said his first word. Unfortunately, that word was "cock." I've tried convincing myself that he's trying to say "clock" but I just can't do it. FML


I agree, your life sucks (40323) - you deserved it (7222)

On 07/31/2014 at 12:24pm - kids - by Anonymous - United States (Oregon)

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  • Here we go again. This week I'm talking to you live from the Paris Japan Expo. I'm dressed up as Bernard from the Sailor Moon series, and I almost got kicked out because my katana wasn't the…

Friday 3 July 2015

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