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emeraldisle

Offline (yesterday at 11:11pm) | Search for a member

emeraldisle

36Fucked!

  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Madam
  • Birth Date : Wednesday 21 November 1990 (24 years)
  • <3 status : Single
  • Number of visits : 5070
  • Number of comments : 620
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 3 posted

About emeraldisle : I'm awesome.

Message me if you wanna chat. I love meeting new people. Don't be shy.

After being on this site for a while, I've come to realise that sarcasm and humour are lost on a lot of people.

emeraldisle's page activity

Visits<b>flyingmind</b> - 5 hours ago<b>Missythemini</b> - yesterday at 2:59pm<b>ale1139</b> - yesterday at 2:10pm<b>winterforever97</b> - yesterday at 2:08pm<b>PITSB</b> - yesterday at 8:11am<b>prajju99</b> - the 05/27/2015 at 11:42pm<b>Sobe_1900</b> - the 05/27/2015 at 11:17pm<b>hallieee</b> - the 05/27/2015 at 10:30pm<b>Kidjazzin</b> - the 05/27/2015 at 7:36pm<b>wayrpowe3</b> - the 05/27/2015 at 4:37pm<b>int15</b> - the 05/27/2015 at 12:58pm<b>pogopogopogo</b> - the 05/27/2015 at 12:06pm<b>sexymomo1234</b> - the 05/27/2015 at 11:04am<b>michaelm1290</b> - the 05/27/2015 at 7:30am<b>OhYouMad</b> - the 05/27/2015 at 6:40am<b>fastman19</b> - the 05/27/2015 at 6:39am<b>kirankrishnnnn</b> - the 05/27/2015 at 4:31am<b>ASeeR</b> - the 05/27/2015 at 3:49am

Fucked!<b>flyingmind</b> - just now<b>int15</b> - the 05/27/2015 at 7:00pm<b>ASeeR</b> - the 05/27/2015 at 9:49am<b>RA91</b> - the 05/27/2015 at 7:23am<b>infantrysoldier</b> - the 05/27/2015 at 5:09am<b>tompom331</b> - the 05/27/2015 at 4:37am<b>S232Flash</b> - the 05/27/2015 at 1:32am<b>sdroze1389</b> - the 05/27/2015 at 12:47am<b>Semperfi92340</b> - the 05/25/2015 at 4:04pm<b>jacky75</b> - the 05/21/2015 at 3:00am<b>NickVsHtml</b> - the 05/18/2015 at 7:11am<b>inowhtthefoxsays</b> - the 05/18/2015 at 12:07am<b>DolphinLaser23</b> - the 04/17/2015 at 10:54pm<b>_kyleG_</b> - the 04/17/2015 at 10:15pm<b>TheTshirt</b> - the 04/17/2015 at 7:25pm<b>the_aspect</b> - the 04/06/2015 at 12:45am<b>purpleturtle16</b> - the 04/05/2015 at 8:00pm<b>martin8337</b> - the 03/12/2015 at 6:04pm

emeraldisle's FML badges

The Mixer

You like to live life randomly, and we salute you.

What'cha looking at?

You have put three pictures on your profile, not necessarily pictures of your profile.

I like your style

You've liked someone. How cute!

See all of emeraldisle's badges

emeraldisle's favorite FMLs

Today, at work as a gynecologist, I called in my last patient of the day. As soon as I took a peek, I noticed that she had stuck googly-eyes above her vagina. She told me with a straight face not to be afraid, because "She doesn't bite." FML

#20582197
149 comments

I agree, your life sucks (47577) - you deserved it (4899)

On 04/09/2013 at 2:01pm - health - by Anonymous - United States

Today, I had to get my grandparents out of jail, because they were caught having sex in a public place. They excused their actions by saying that you can only be young and stupid once, so if you continue doing stupid actions, you are still young. FML

Today, I shaved my pubic area for my fiancé. He told me it looked "like Frodo tried to hack off Gandalf's beard with Gimli's ax." FML

Today, while on the bus, an elderly man fell asleep on my shoulder. He looked sweet, so I didn't push him off. A few minutes later, the bus jolted and his head slipped down into my breasts. I'm pretty sure you don't smile like that when you're really asleep. FML

#20574730
86 comments

I agree, your life sucks (38485) - you deserved it (6753)

On 04/04/2013 at 2:04pm - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - Portugal (Lisboa)

Today, I was lost in a foreign city so I asked a girl for directions. She replied, "Directions? ONE DIRECTION!" and started screaming in my face and jumping around. FML

#20572868
133 comments

I agree, your life sucks (45286) - you deserved it (5410)

On 04/03/2013 at 5:17am - kids - by Anonymous - United States

Today, my creepy co-worker walked up and said, "You know, I was having sex with this girl last night, and I almost said your name." FML

#20570966
76 comments

I agree, your life sucks (44625) - you deserved it (3125)

On 04/02/2013 at 12:11am - work - by QuinnyZebrass (woman) - United States (Arizona)

Today, I woke up next to my girlfriend. I was woken up by my mother breaking into my house to tell me I need to get ready for work. Then she got mad that I had a girl over. I'm 20. FML

#20561180
130 comments

I agree, your life sucks (38093) - you deserved it (4641)

On 03/26/2013 at 4:20pm - misc - by holycommander - United States

Today, I told my husband that a guy I work with told me that I'm the most beautiful woman he has ever met. My husband replied, "He needs to get out more." FML

Today, my 2-year-old daughter and my 27-year-old husband both woke me up in the early hours of the morning. Their complaints were the same: they'd both wet the bed. FML

#20555313
46 comments

I agree, your life sucks (35766) - you deserved it (2755)

On 03/22/2013 at 5:53pm - misc - by sickness and health my sphincter (woman) - Singapore

Today, my grandma gave me a sex talk. Not the usual one, either. This one was about blowjobs. I had to sit politely as she explained it's something all women have to learn if they want a well-behaved husband, but that it's an "acquired taste". Gag me. FML

#20545240
120 comments

I agree, your life sucks (43845) - you deserved it (5376)

On 03/15/2013 at 8:05pm - intimacy - by butnotlikethat (woman) - China (Jiangxi)

Today, while I was going down on my husband, our 3-year-old daughter woke up and started crying from the other room. He practically burst into tears too, whining that she was doing it on purpose to ruin his fun. He was serious. FML

#20544502
83 comments

I agree, your life sucks (49751) - you deserved it (5676)

On 03/15/2013 at 6:28am - intimacy - by Anonymous (woman) - United Kingdom (London, City of)

Today, my boyfriend started coming onto me, despite me being on my period. He said it was okay, and we went to his bedroom. He told me to spread my legs as he spread his hands. Thinking it'd be sexy, I did. He then yelled, "I AM MOSES! I PART THE RED SEA!" and broke down in laughter. FML

#20533607
190 comments

I agree, your life sucks (56103) - you deserved it (14696)

On 03/06/2013 at 3:20pm - intimacy - by RedWaters - United States

Today, I was taking a peaceful stroll in the local park when a curious turkey decided to follow me. Trying to shoo it away, I swung my leg at it, as if to fake kick it. Being the stupid animal it is, it decided to fly into my leg as I swung, causing my foot to connect to its neck. It died. FML

#20529231
230 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22370) - you deserved it (45677)

On 03/03/2013 at 9:40am - animals - by Anonymous - Australia (Queensland)

Today, my elderly neighbor had asked me to take her to her early morning doctor's appointment. I arrived at her house at 7:30 as agreed, and she appeared to have forgotten who I was. She started lobbing eggs out of her window at me, telling me she wasn't interested in what I was selling. FML

#20525434
88 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29798) - you deserved it (2217)

On 02/28/2013 at 6:57am - misc - by she sure has an arm. - United States (Massachusetts)

Today, I was pushing my wheelchair-bound grandpa back home, when a pretty girl walked past us in the opposite direction. He made me stop and turn him around, just so he could ogle her ass as she walked away. FML

#20518187
112 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27112) - you deserved it (4493) - Translated from the french version of FML. Bon appétit!

On 02/22/2013 at 9:27pm - misc - by hé merde - Sent from mobile version



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