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emeraldisle

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emeraldisle

59Fucked!

  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Madam
  • Birth Date : Wednesday 21 November 1990 (24 years)
  • <3 status : Single
  • Number of visits : 5383
  • Number of comments : 628
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 3 posted

About emeraldisle : I'm awesome.

Message me if you wanna chat. I love meeting new people. Don't be shy.

After being on this site for a while, I've come to realise that sarcasm and humour are lost on a lot of people.

emeraldisle's page activity

Visits<b>michaelm1290</b> - 13 hours ago<b>ahmadmuneer</b> - yesterday at 11:21pm<b>Lct1196</b> - yesterday at 1:45pm<b>karacakal2</b> - the 07/04/2015 at 8:36pm<b>10nachoman10</b> - the 07/04/2015 at 3:55am<b>lil_jimmy</b> - the 07/03/2015 at 8:31pm<b>jordanrecatto</b> - the 07/03/2015 at 1:52pm<b>JoshWade62</b> - the 07/03/2015 at 1:23pm<b>python199</b> - the 07/02/2015 at 10:31pm<b>devildog562</b> - the 07/02/2015 at 10:04pm<b>disbatch</b> - the 07/02/2015 at 1:50am<b>404usernotfound</b> - the 07/01/2015 at 6:40pm<b>Iwtumn</b> - the 07/01/2015 at 1:50pm<b>volleyball2700</b> - the 07/01/2015 at 12:16pm<b>jazzybrar</b> - the 06/30/2015 at 3:11pm<b>crazy_loner</b> - the 06/30/2015 at 1:38am<b>FoxHunt9119</b> - the 06/30/2015 at 12:32am<b>MrDrDaBoss</b> - the 06/30/2015 at 12:18am

Fucked!<b>jordanrecatto</b> - the 07/03/2015 at 7:52pm<b>karacakal2</b> - the 07/03/2015 at 6:20pm<b>lil_jimmy</b> - the 07/03/2015 at 11:57am<b>crazy_loner</b> - the 06/30/2015 at 7:38am<b>TransitLetum</b> - the 06/29/2015 at 6:00am<b>Jayroc</b> - the 06/29/2015 at 1:21am<b>decoydualist</b> - the 06/28/2015 at 10:25pm<b>kikoma</b> - the 06/28/2015 at 8:14pm<b>rafa015</b> - the 06/28/2015 at 7:40pm<b>csjc</b> - the 06/28/2015 at 6:28pm<b>fastman19</b> - the 06/18/2015 at 12:49pm<b>Corey122726</b> - the 06/18/2015 at 12:48pm<b>IamHercules</b> - the 06/18/2015 at 5:49am<b>tranced_</b> - the 06/18/2015 at 5:22am<b>dudeguy1989</b> - the 06/18/2015 at 4:38am<b>aclark2523</b> - the 06/18/2015 at 2:27am<b>russfml</b> - the 06/18/2015 at 2:10am<b>Robert3242009</b> - the 06/18/2015 at 1:06am

emeraldisle's FML badges

Inception

You read an FML that mentions a badge, and in return you've been awarded a badge. A badge inside a badge.

Perfectionist

Editing your comments can help you avoid embarrassment, and it might make you seem smarter.

The Mixer

You like to live life randomly, and we salute you.

See all of emeraldisle's badges

emeraldisle's favorite FMLs

Today, I posted a video of a dance I choreographed on Facebook. I got a notification a few hours later telling me that my grandpa had also shared it. His caption? "My granddaughter dances like a gay baboon and this dance sucks balls. Throw grapes at her." Thanks grandpa. FML

#20604301
78 comments

I agree, your life sucks (48927) - you deserved it (9351)

On 04/19/2013 at 3:27am - misc - by thanks gramps - Canada (Yukon Territory)

Today, I went over to my boyfriend's house. After asking him what was wrong due to his weird attitude, he responded with, "This isn't working; I'm in love with my sister." FML

#20592364
182 comments

I agree, your life sucks (66236) - you deserved it (4048)

On 04/14/2013 at 11:45pm - love - by lonely (woman) - United States

Today, I uploaded a cute photo of my boyfriend and me on Facebook. Ten minutes later, his friend commented: "Dude! You're supposed to capture the Snorlax, not date it!" FML

#20587403
127 comments

I agree, your life sucks (48384) - you deserved it (13801)

On 04/13/2013 at 12:25am - love - by Snorlax (woman) - Australia (New South Wales)

Today, my boyfriend of 2 weeks said that he was going to cook me dinner. After waiting for the frozen pizza that he decided to make for me to be completely cooked, he said, "Oh I hate this part", reached into the oven with his bare hands and took out the pizza, all while screaming. He is 24. FML

#20584918
238 comments

I agree, your life sucks (50806) - you deserved it (10892)

On 04/11/2013 at 11:42am - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States

Today, my boyfriend of 2 weeks said that he was going to cook me dinner. After waiting for the frozen pizza that he decided to make for me to be completely cooked, he said, "Oh I hate this part", reached into the oven with his bare hands and took out the pizza, all while screaming. He is 24. FML

#20584918
238 comments

I agree, your life sucks (50806) - you deserved it (10892)

On 04/11/2013 at 11:42am - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States

Today, at work as a gynecologist, I called in my last patient of the day. As soon as I took a peek, I noticed that she had stuck googly-eyes above her vagina. She told me with a straight face not to be afraid, because "She doesn't bite." FML

#20582197
149 comments

I agree, your life sucks (47601) - you deserved it (4901)

On 04/09/2013 at 2:01pm - health - by Anonymous - United States

Today, I had to get my grandparents out of jail, because they were caught having sex in a public place. They excused their actions by saying that you can only be young and stupid once, so if you continue doing stupid actions, you are still young. FML

Today, I shaved my pubic area for my fiancé. He told me it looked "like Frodo tried to hack off Gandalf's beard with Gimli's ax." FML

Today, while on the bus, an elderly man fell asleep on my shoulder. He looked sweet, so I didn't push him off. A few minutes later, the bus jolted and his head slipped down into my breasts. I'm pretty sure you don't smile like that when you're really asleep. FML

#20574730
86 comments

I agree, your life sucks (38524) - you deserved it (6759)

On 04/04/2013 at 2:04pm - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - Portugal (Lisboa)

Today, I was lost in a foreign city so I asked a girl for directions. She replied, "Directions? ONE DIRECTION!" and started screaming in my face and jumping around. FML

#20572868
133 comments

I agree, your life sucks (45307) - you deserved it (5411)

On 04/03/2013 at 5:17am - kids - by Anonymous - United States

Today, my creepy co-worker walked up and said, "You know, I was having sex with this girl last night, and I almost said your name." FML

#20570966
76 comments

I agree, your life sucks (44654) - you deserved it (3127)

On 04/02/2013 at 12:11am - work - by QuinnyZebrass (woman) - United States (Arizona)

Today, I woke up next to my girlfriend. I was woken up by my mother breaking into my house to tell me I need to get ready for work. Then she got mad that I had a girl over. I'm 20. FML

#20561180
131 comments

I agree, your life sucks (38112) - you deserved it (4646)

On 03/26/2013 at 4:20pm - misc - by holycommander - United States

Today, I told my husband that a guy I work with told me that I'm the most beautiful woman he has ever met. My husband replied, "He needs to get out more." FML

Today, my 2-year-old daughter and my 27-year-old husband both woke me up in the early hours of the morning. Their complaints were the same: they'd both wet the bed. FML

#20555313
46 comments

I agree, your life sucks (35794) - you deserved it (2758)

On 03/22/2013 at 5:53pm - misc - by sickness and health my sphincter (woman) - Singapore

Today, my grandma gave me a sex talk. Not the usual one, either. This one was about blowjobs. I had to sit politely as she explained it's something all women have to learn if they want a well-behaved husband, but that it's an "acquired taste". Gag me. FML

#20545240
120 comments

I agree, your life sucks (43890) - you deserved it (5379)

On 03/15/2013 at 8:05pm - intimacy - by butnotlikethat (woman) - China (Jiangxi)



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