emeraldisle

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emeraldisle

175Fucked!

  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Miss
  • Birth Date : Wednesday 21 November 1990 (25 years old)
  • <3 status : With someone
  • Number of visits : 9885
  • Number of comments : 744
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 4 posted

About emeraldisle : I'm awesome and I love cats.

After being on this site for a while, I've come to realise that sarcasm and humour are lost on a lot of people.

Message me if you could like chat on here. Don't message me if you're going to ask me to chat on another app or ask for nudes.

emeraldisle's page activity

Visits<b>ChuckHolmes</b> - 6 hours ago<b>biscuit182</b> - 9 hours ago<b>ARetardedSeal</b> - 16 hours ago<b>crazy_bananas</b> - 21 hours ago<b>StormfrontX33</b> - yesterday at 12:08am<b>Vokul_Kulaas</b> - yesterday at 9:24pm<b>DA_JUDGE123</b> - the 08/24/2016 at 12:13am<b>Odin1624</b> - the 08/23/2016 at 6:44pm<b>Supersonic54</b> - the 08/23/2016 at 11:40am<b>robsmit98</b> - the 08/22/2016 at 6:27pm<b>funnyhowthatwork</b> - the 08/21/2016 at 2:33am<b>T_Rex561</b> - the 08/20/2016 at 10:45pm<b>spockadelic</b> - the 08/20/2016 at 9:45pm<b>MofoV</b> - the 08/20/2016 at 8:27pm<b>ames909</b> - the 08/20/2016 at 2:13pm<b>trumpet_girl17</b> - the 08/20/2016 at 2:07pm<b>mas12806</b> - the 08/20/2016 at 11:23am<b>DrafteeSelf</b> - the 08/20/2016 at 10:20am

Fucked!<b>Teyros</b> - the 08/20/2016 at 7:53am<b>Willman757</b> - the 08/18/2016 at 3:37pm<b>shiba10</b> - the 08/12/2016 at 4:39am<b>S_Melh</b> - the 08/11/2016 at 7:17am<b>tonyfan00</b> - the 08/04/2016 at 3:38am<b>Junkiegamer</b> - the 07/29/2016 at 1:59am<b>Godzillapro14</b> - the 07/28/2016 at 7:19pm<b>zaidthunder1</b> - the 07/19/2016 at 9:14pm<b>AngusEcrivain</b> - the 07/10/2016 at 10:43am<b>Therid</b> - the 05/26/2016 at 1:03pm<b>alphasmartass93</b> - the 04/27/2016 at 7:00am<b>unicornhugger</b> - the 04/20/2016 at 5:31am<b>ssnow</b> - the 04/02/2016 at 12:09pm<b>dimos4ever</b> - the 03/29/2016 at 9:15am<b>spicypie</b> - the 03/21/2016 at 9:22pm<b>AHzulu</b> - the 03/20/2016 at 9:13am<b>fungi0528</b> - the 03/14/2016 at 9:28pm<b>tin_cup</b> - the 03/14/2016 at 1:06am

emeraldisle's FML badges

Santa Claus

You've looked for Santa absolutely everywhere, and you managed to find him. Well done!

One more and it's business time

You've received 68 likes on your profile. Kinky.

Inception

You read an FML that mentions a badge, and in return you've been awarded a badge. A badge inside a badge.

See all of emeraldisle's badges

emeraldisle's favorite FMLs

Today, I went to a bingo club with my gran and won the second game and a butthurt old lady accused me of cheating. I ended up being taken aside by an apologetic member of staff and asked to leave. I'm still trying to figure out how you can even cheat at bingo. FML

by Anonymous / 02/20/2016 at 3:21am / United States (California) / Miscellaneous

Today, we had my grandmother with dementia round for tea. She looked me up and down and said, very matter-of-factly, "Well, with a figure like that, no one will rape you." FML

by Sgt_Jackrum / 02/05/2016 at 5:27am / United Kingdom (Sandwell) / Intimacy

Today, I visited my 90-year-old great-grandmother and her boyfriend. This wouldn't be a problem, if this boyfriend wasn't different than the one she had yesterday. She told me not to tell him about "the other one". FML

by anon / 02/01/2016 at 11:37am / United States / Love

Today, I had to teach my 16-year-old brother how to use a toaster. He thought you just plug it in and wait for it to "pre-heat." FML

by whatarethisss / 01/29/2016 at 11:20am / United States (Indiana) / Miscellaneous

Today, I walked into a room to help a patient get ready for bed. Except she already was in bed, with two other male patients. I work in a retirement home. FML

by Anonymous / 01/26/2016 at 5:22pm / Netherlands (Noord-Brabant) / Work

Today, my girlfriend gave me my first ever blowjob. It felt like she was skinning my dick alive with her teeth. I had to pretend to finish myself off in the bathroom and tell her it was because I didn't want her to have to swallow. FML

by Anonymous / 12/30/2015 at 10:21am / Canada (Ontario) / Intimacy

Today, I showed my husband a recipe for the meal I wanted us to make tonight. He saw cumin was an ingredient and broke into hysterics. By the time he managed to stop laughing, he gasped that he couldn't eat something "with cumin it" and broke down laughing again. FML

by -__- / 12/26/2015 at 8:41am / Miscellaneous

Today, my daughter asked me if we could adopt a child. I said no, since we can't afford to support another child. She then asked me if she could just adopt another dad instead. FML

by anon / 12/16/2015 at 10:28am / Australia (South Australia) / Kids

Today, my cat regurgitated his food right on top of a heating vent located on my floor. Now the whole house smells like hot vomit. FML

by Jack W. / 12/09/2015 at 2:26pm / United States / Animals

Today, I gave my boyfriend a blowjob for the first time. He came. A lot. I doubt I'll remember it as anything other than, "The day I found out what sneezing semen feels like." FML

by snortingspunk / 12/03/2015 at 7:52am / South Africa / Intimacy

Today, at my Grandfather's funeral, my Grandmother decided it would be a good time to tell the story of the time she went to a strip club. FML

by Kisuke_Urahara / 11/29/2015 at 9:11pm / United States (California) / Miscellaneous

This FML has been commented on by its original poster.

Today, while changing my daughter's diaper, I lifted up her butt to wipe her, which coincidentally caused her to fart. I hadn't wiped her yet so the force of air caused poop to fly at me at high speed, landing on my chest and face. My husband burst out laughing, saying, "You've been ass-blasted!" FML

by coolest_mom / 11/25/2015 at 1:00am / Kids

Today, I realised how damn creepy I am because I get nervous and smile when someone looks at me, and no it's not one of those smiles you'd love looking at, it's a smile straight out of a horror movie. I made a bunch of children run away. FML

by Hipnog / 11/07/2015 at 9:33am / Czech Republic / Miscellaneous

Today, I've been robbed. I came home to find my oven door missing. FML

by racello13 / 11/02/2015 at 10:26am / United States (New York) / Miscellaneous

Today, after years of difficulty, I finally found the perfect shade of foundation that matches my ultra-pale complexion. It's called "Death Flesh." FML

by 2pale / 11/01/2015 at 1:22pm / United States (Texas) / Miscellaneous