About emeraldisle : I'm awesome.
Message me if you wanna chat. I love meeting new people. Don't be shy.
After being on this site for a while, I've come to realise that sarcasm and humour are lost on a lot of people.
Why am I up so early?
You commented on an FML between 6 and 7 am.
50 favourites
Love knows no boundaries. You’ve already got 50 FMLs in your favourites list!
An insomniac or a creature of the dark
You commented on an FML between 1 and 3 am.
Today, I uploaded a cute photo of my boyfriend and me on Facebook. Ten minutes later, his friend commented: "Dude! You're supposed to capture the Snorlax, not date it!" FML
I agree, your life sucks (41880) - you deserved it (12185)
On 04/13/2013 at 12:25am - love - by Snorlax (woman) - Australia (New South Wales)
Today, my boyfriend of 2 weeks said that he was going to cook me dinner. After waiting for the frozen pizza that he decided to make for me to be completely cooked, he said, "Oh I hate this part", reached into the oven with his bare hands and took out the pizza, all while screaming. He is 24. FML
I agree, your life sucks (44635) - you deserved it (5214)
On 04/11/2013 at 11:42am - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States
Today, my boyfriend of 2 weeks said that he was going to cook me dinner. After waiting for the frozen pizza that he decided to make for me to be completely cooked, he said, "Oh I hate this part", reached into the oven with his bare hands and took out the pizza, all while screaming. He is 24. FML
I agree, your life sucks (44635) - you deserved it (5214)
On 04/11/2013 at 11:42am - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States
Today, at work as a gynecologist, I called in my last patient of the day. As soon as I took a peek, I noticed that she had stuck googly-eyes above her vagina. She told me with a straight face not to be afraid, because "She doesn't bite." FML
I agree, your life sucks (40624) - you deserved it (4301)
On 04/09/2013 at 2:01pm - health - by Anonymous - United States
Today, I had to get my grandparents out of jail, because they were caught having sex in a public place. They excused their actions by saying that you can only be young and stupid once, so if you continue doing stupid actions, you are still young. FML
I agree, your life sucks (36813) - you deserved it (2499)
On 04/08/2013 at 7:16pm - intimacy - by MrKento (man) - Honduras (Francisco Morazan)
Today, I shaved my pubic area for my fiancé. He told me it looked "like Frodo tried to hack off Gandalf's beard with Gimli's ax." FML
I agree, your life sucks (32195) - you deserved it (7290)
On 04/08/2013 at 5:17am - intimacy - by dancekat (woman) - United States (Washington)
Today, while on the bus, an elderly man fell asleep on my shoulder. He looked sweet, so I didn't push him off. A few minutes later, the bus jolted and his head slipped down into my breasts. I'm pretty sure you don't smile like that when you're really asleep. FML
I agree, your life sucks (32707) - you deserved it (4922)
On 04/04/2013 at 2:04pm - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - Portugal (Lisboa)
Today, I was lost in a foreign city so I asked a girl for directions. She replied, "Directions? ONE DIRECTION!" and started screaming in my face and jumping around. FML
I agree, your life sucks (36768) - you deserved it (3490)
On 04/03/2013 at 5:17am - kids - by Anonymous - United States
Today, my creepy co-worker walked up and said, "You know, I was having sex with this girl last night, and I almost said your name." FML
I agree, your life sucks (37747) - you deserved it (2651)
On 04/02/2013 at 12:11am - work - by QuinnyZebrass (woman) - United States (Arizona)
Today, I woke up next to my girlfriend. I was woken up by my mother breaking into my house to tell me I need to get ready for work. Then she got mad that I had a girl over. I'm 20. FML
I agree, your life sucks (32594) - you deserved it (3417)
On 03/26/2013 at 4:20pm - misc - by holycommander - United States
Today, I told my husband that a guy I work with told me that I'm the most beautiful woman he has ever met. My husband replied, "He needs to get out more." FML
I agree, your life sucks (30683) - you deserved it (4560)
On 03/26/2013 at 10:12am - love - by Candycane88 (woman) - United States (California)
Today, my 2-year-old daughter and my 27-year-old husband both woke me up in the early hours of the morning. Their complaints were the same: they'd both wet the bed. FML
I agree, your life sucks (28713) - you deserved it (1753)
On 03/22/2013 at 5:53pm - misc - by sickness and health my sphincter (woman) - Singapore
Today, my grandma gave me a sex talk. Not the usual one, either. This one was about blowjobs. I had to sit politely as she explained it's something all women have to learn if they want a well-behaved husband, but that it's an "acquired taste". Gag me. FML
I agree, your life sucks (33944) - you deserved it (3099)
On 03/15/2013 at 8:05pm - intimacy - by butnotlikethat (woman) - China (Jiangxi)
Today, while I was going down on my husband, our 3-year-old daughter woke up and started crying from the other room. He practically burst into tears too, whining that she was doing it on purpose to ruin his fun. He was serious. FML
I agree, your life sucks (37243) - you deserved it (3440)
On 03/15/2013 at 6:28am - intimacy - by Anonymous (woman) - United Kingdom (London, City of)
Today, my boyfriend started coming onto me, despite me being on my period. He said it was okay, and we went to his bedroom. He told me to spread my legs as he spread his hands. Thinking it'd be sexy, I did. He then yelled, "I AM MOSES! I PART THE RED SEA!" and broke down in laughter. FML
I agree, your life sucks (43130) - you deserved it (11066)
On 03/06/2013 at 3:20pm - intimacy - by RedWaters - United States
Monday 20 May 2013
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