Submit your FML story

  • - Concept: An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
  • - CAUTION: Read your message over. Please don't use text language and avoid making too many spelling mistakes.
  • - Please note that spam and nonsensical stories will result in you being blocked from accessing FML.
Your nick:
Categories :
Man or woman?

emeraldisle

Online | Search for a member

emeraldisle

79Fucked!

  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Miss
  • Birth Date : Wednesday 21 November 1990 (24 years)
  • <3 status : Single
  • Number of visits : 5639
  • Number of comments : 634
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 3 posted

About emeraldisle : I'm awesome.

After being on this site for a while, I've come to realise that sarcasm and humour are lost on a lot of people.

emeraldisle's page activity

Visits<b>cole_tyler42</b> - 4 hours ago<b>Soninuva</b> - 21 hours ago<b>JessMac9000</b> - yesterday at 3:36pm<b>queensassygoat</b> - yesterday at 2:01am<b>thesnypist8</b> - yesterday at 10:55pm<b>shain1988</b> - the 07/26/2015 at 11:04pm<b>ShadJV</b> - the 07/26/2015 at 5:29pm<b>the_doc</b> - the 07/26/2015 at 2:39pm<b>kovalsky</b> - the 07/26/2015 at 5:36am<b>Big_Bear99</b> - the 07/26/2015 at 4:49am<b>premo25</b> - the 07/26/2015 at 3:19am<b>AngusEcrivain</b> - the 07/26/2015 at 3:02am<b>avadakedabra</b> - the 07/26/2015 at 2:56am<b>Galacticain</b> - the 07/26/2015 at 1:36am<b>stangluv</b> - the 07/25/2015 at 5:36pm<b>Liamj774</b> - the 07/25/2015 at 10:58am<b>Wiringify</b> - the 07/25/2015 at 1:18am<b>muarif</b> - the 07/24/2015 at 9:58pm

Fucked!<b>the_doc</b> - the 07/26/2015 at 8:39pm<b>Lukeeeeee</b> - the 07/25/2015 at 2:12am<b>Lane_Lander300</b> - the 07/24/2015 at 3:37pm<b>NathanWilley</b> - the 07/24/2015 at 4:10am<b>Matheo</b> - the 07/23/2015 at 11:24pm<b>Mmorpheus</b> - the 07/23/2015 at 2:13pm<b>michaelaranda</b> - the 07/23/2015 at 1:48pm<b>JoeOfDoom</b> - the 07/23/2015 at 8:00am<b>mattgainey</b> - the 07/23/2015 at 5:12am<b>man_in_black08</b> - the 07/23/2015 at 1:57am<b>trey600rr</b> - the 07/23/2015 at 1:50am<b>Tarlachia</b> - the 07/23/2015 at 12:50am<b>damiens123456</b> - the 07/23/2015 at 12:33am<b>FutBol_Fan_30</b> - the 07/23/2015 at 12:29am<b>dirtbikeguy</b> - the 07/23/2015 at 12:20am<b>insertnamehere37</b> - the 07/22/2015 at 7:33am<b>platypus546</b> - the 07/20/2015 at 11:22pm<b>elizabeth_black</b> - the 07/15/2015 at 7:12am

emeraldisle's FML badges

One more and it's business time

You've received 68 likes on your profile. Kinky.

Inception

You read an FML that mentions a badge, and in return you've been awarded a badge. A badge inside a badge.

Perfectionist

Editing your comments can help you avoid embarrassment, and it might make you seem smarter.

See all of emeraldisle's badges

emeraldisle's favorite FMLs

Today, my friends showed me a video of me blind drunk last night, getting into a fight with my front door. The door won, unlike my face. FML

#21447461
44 comments

I agree, your life sucks (14981) - you deserved it (11069)

On 07/26/2015 at 10:27am - health - by Anonymous (man) - Sent from mobile version

Today, I had a dream about a giant spider crawling around in my mouth. I woke up to find that dreams sometimes do come true. FML

#21445902
99 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26858) - you deserved it (1642)

On 07/23/2015 at 9:05am - animals - by dirtbikeguy (man) - United States (Illinois)

Today, I accidentally texted the girl I like, "Oh god, I just choked on a boner." I meant bone. FML

#21442630
88 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24155) - you deserved it (4288)

On 07/16/2015 at 3:22pm - misc - by Boneo and Juliet - United States (New Hampshire)

Today, my boyfriend told me I looked nice in my profile picture. I began to reply "Aww, thank you!" until he sent another message saying "Mostly because your face isn't in it." FML

#21442569
60 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22506) - you deserved it (2458)

On 07/16/2015 at 1:03pm - love - by hayleediaz - United States (California)

Today, I found a picture of myself on the "People of Walmart" site. FML

#21439858
138 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28890) - you deserved it (16241)

On 07/11/2015 at 1:03am - misc - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Colorado)

Today, while waiting the required 5 minutes for my hair removal cream to work, my cat rubbed all over my legs while I wasn't looking. After getting clawed to death throwing her in the bath to get the cream off, all her hair on that side fell off. I now have a half hairless cat. FML

#21438347
93 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22872) - you deserved it (3924)

On 07/08/2015 at 3:04am - animals - by coolcat10156 (woman) - United States (Texas)

Today, while reading my girlfriends kid's a story, her daughter started pouring a tiny watering can on my head. When I asked her what she was doing, she said, "Watering your head so your hair grows back". I'm twenty-seven. FML

#21437640
63 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23903) - you deserved it (2081)

On 07/06/2015 at 10:21pm - kids - by Anonymous - United States

Today, I was laying in bed facing my dad. In the middle of our conversation, I noticed he became interested in something behind me. I turn around to the sight of my mom lifting up her shirt, flashing her boobs. FML

#21437094
89 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25228) - you deserved it (2536)

On 07/05/2015 at 11:18pm - misc - by madisonnkelly - United States (Texas)

Today, a cute guy asked me if I was single. When I said yes, he said "Yeah, you look like the type", and walked away. FML

#21428639
54 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26893) - you deserved it (2012)

On 06/19/2015 at 3:51pm - love - by Anonymous - United States (Washington)

Today, I was sick, and my voice was really low and raspy. A cute guy smiled at me and said hi, so I said hi too. He looked shocked and said, "Sorry bro, thought you were a girl." I am. FML

#21421148
52 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28120) - you deserved it (1999)

On 06/05/2015 at 8:21am - love - by Anonymous (woman) - Sweden (Vastra Gotaland)

Today, I'm warning you: never spoon naked with your girlfriend after eating taco bell. The shartpocalypse just might begin in her ass and end on your stomach. FML

#21420039
104 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29463) - you deserved it (3954)

On 06/03/2015 at 1:01am - misc - by Anonymous (man) - Canada (Ontario)

Today, I got into a heated argument with my girlfriend. Not because of anything I did, but because she actually believes that pasteurization is when a pastor blesses a dairy product. "You know, like kosher." FML

#21416018
95 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26455) - you deserved it (2450)

On 05/26/2015 at 11:12am - love - by Anonymous (man) - United States (California)

Today, my mom told me I'm the reason she's going to kill herself one day. FML

#21414323
66 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27641) - you deserved it (2656)

On 05/23/2015 at 3:51am - kids - by DaoOfPow (man) - United States (Connecticut)

Today, I waited tables for the first time at my new restaurant job. I asked a group of older men what they would like. One replied, "A slice of that ass". I'm 19 and a guy. FML

#21413610
128 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31642) - you deserved it (2797)

On 05/21/2015 at 4:41pm - work - by Anonymous - United States

Today, my little cousin was helping me wash my car. After scrubbing all the dirt, I gave him the hose and said, "Okay, now rinse off this disgusting thing." He turned the hose on me. FML

#21409816
42 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23862) - you deserved it (5842)

On 05/14/2015 at 12:26am - kids - by ptarr12345 (woman) - United States (Pennsylvania)



FML's blog

  • Feeling shitty? Write to Auntie Bernie!
  • It's a new summer, so here's a new feature. OK, that doesn't mean much, but you've got to start somewhere. The idea came from the fact that we get sent a lot of FMLs that touch us, in our heart of…

Friday 24 July 2015

The whole blog

FMyLife, world tour

Available on: