Submit your FML story

  • - Concept: An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
  • - CAUTION: Read your message over. Please don't use text language and avoid making too many spelling mistakes.
  • - Please note that spam and nonsensical stories will result in you being blocked from accessing FML.
Your nick:
Categories :
Man or woman?

emeraldisle

Offline (5 hours ago) | Search for a member

emeraldisle

56Fucked!

  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Madam
  • Birth Date : Wednesday 21 November 1990 (24 years)
  • <3 status : Single
  • Number of visits : 5330
  • Number of comments : 628
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 3 posted

About emeraldisle : I'm awesome.

Message me if you wanna chat. I love meeting new people. Don't be shy.

After being on this site for a while, I've come to realise that sarcasm and humour are lost on a lot of people.

emeraldisle's page activity

Visits<b>jazzybrar</b> - 18 hours ago<b>crazy_loner</b> - yesterday at 1:38am<b>ahmadmuneer</b> - yesterday at 12:48am<b>FoxHunt9119</b> - yesterday at 12:32am<b>MrDrDaBoss</b> - yesterday at 12:18am<b>sturschaedel</b> - yesterday at 5:52pm<b>Jake42100</b> - yesterday at 5:15pm<b>ENCOURAGER</b> - yesterday at 12:41pm<b>jackipdoc</b> - the 06/29/2015 at 2:49am<b>TransitLetum</b> - the 06/29/2015 at 12:00am<b>aruden</b> - the 06/28/2015 at 11:05pm<b>giantsfan2010</b> - the 06/28/2015 at 9:34pm<b>jokesonyou1</b> - the 06/28/2015 at 8:38pm<b>Karma220</b> - the 06/28/2015 at 8:14pm<b>karacakal2</b> - the 06/28/2015 at 7:58pm<b>10nachoman10</b> - the 06/28/2015 at 7:38pm<b>Jayroc</b> - the 06/28/2015 at 7:21pm<b>sandman676</b> - the 06/28/2015 at 7:01pm

Fucked!<b>crazy_loner</b> - yesterday at 7:38am<b>TransitLetum</b> - the 06/29/2015 at 6:00am<b>Jayroc</b> - the 06/29/2015 at 1:21am<b>decoydualist</b> - the 06/28/2015 at 10:25pm<b>kikoma</b> - the 06/28/2015 at 8:14pm<b>rafa015</b> - the 06/28/2015 at 7:40pm<b>csjc</b> - the 06/28/2015 at 6:28pm<b>fastman19</b> - the 06/18/2015 at 12:49pm<b>Corey122726</b> - the 06/18/2015 at 12:48pm<b>IamHercules</b> - the 06/18/2015 at 5:49am<b>tranced_</b> - the 06/18/2015 at 5:22am<b>dudeguy1989</b> - the 06/18/2015 at 4:38am<b>aclark2523</b> - the 06/18/2015 at 2:27am<b>russfml</b> - the 06/18/2015 at 2:10am<b>Robert3242009</b> - the 06/18/2015 at 1:06am<b>sandman676</b> - the 06/18/2015 at 12:31am<b>slick5880</b> - the 06/18/2015 at 12:28am<b>amine91</b> - the 06/17/2015 at 11:08pm

emeraldisle's FML badges

Inception

You read an FML that mentions a badge, and in return you've been awarded a badge. A badge inside a badge.

Perfectionist

Editing your comments can help you avoid embarrassment, and it might make you seem smarter.

The Mixer

You like to live life randomly, and we salute you.

See all of emeraldisle's badges

emeraldisle's favorite FMLs

Today, my parents heard about the decision to make same-sex marriage legal in all states. They're so outraged that they're even talking about getting a house in Canada. They're in for a surprise. FML

#21432698
194 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26125) - you deserved it (2109)

On 06/27/2015 at 5:38am - misc - by MovingtoCanada (man) - United States (Pennsylvania)

Today, a cute guy asked me if I was single. When I said yes, he said "Yeah, you look like the type", and walked away. FML

#21428639
52 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26456) - you deserved it (1999)

On 06/19/2015 at 3:51pm - love - by Anonymous - United States (Washington)

Today, I was sick, and my voice was really low and raspy. A cute guy smiled at me and said hi, so I said hi too. He looked shocked and said, "Sorry bro, thought you were a girl." I am. FML

#21421148
52 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27995) - you deserved it (1998)

On 06/05/2015 at 8:21am - love - by Anonymous (woman) - Sweden (Vastra Gotaland)

Today, I'm warning you: never spoon naked with your girlfriend after eating taco bell. The shartpocalypse just might begin in her ass and end on your stomach. FML

#21420039
105 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29405) - you deserved it (3952)

On 06/03/2015 at 1:01am - misc - by Anonymous (man) - Canada (Ontario)

Today, I got into a heated argument with my girlfriend. Not because of anything I did, but because she actually believes that pasteurization is when a pastor blesses a dairy product. "You know, like kosher." FML

#21416018
96 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26401) - you deserved it (2449)

On 05/26/2015 at 11:12am - love - by Anonymous (man) - United States (California)

Today, my mom told me I'm the reason she's going to kill herself one day. FML

#21414323
66 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27606) - you deserved it (2650)

On 05/23/2015 at 3:51am - kids - by DaoOfPow (man) - United States (Connecticut)

Today, I waited tables for the first time at my new restaurant job. I asked a group of older men what they would like. One replied, "A slice of that ass". I'm 19 and a guy. FML

#21413610
129 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31620) - you deserved it (2796)

On 05/21/2015 at 4:41pm - work - by Anonymous - United States

Today, my little cousin was helping me wash my car. After scrubbing all the dirt, I gave him the hose and said, "Okay, now rinse off this disgusting thing." He turned the hose on me. FML

#21409816
42 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23832) - you deserved it (5834)

On 05/14/2015 at 12:26am - kids - by ptarr12345 (woman) - United States (Pennsylvania)

Today, I told my husband I felt unfulfilled and unhappy in my life. He suggested I do more chores. FML

#21405437
65 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27452) - you deserved it (3272)

On 05/06/2015 at 12:13am - misc - by msleea - United States (California)

Today, I had to play the hot and cold game with my boyfriend until he found my clitoris. FML

#21405064
147 comments

I agree, your life sucks (34356) - you deserved it (4506)

On 05/05/2015 at 11:13am - intimacy - by baby_trex_arms - United States (California)

Today, in a crowded doctor's waiting room, my two-year-old daughter let a loud fart rip. I asked her, "What do we say?" She replied, "IT'S ME!" FML

#21398419
78 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28236) - you deserved it (4005) - Translated from the french version of FML. Bon appétit!

On 04/23/2015 at 8:27am - kids - by bleue - France (Midi-Pyrenees)

Today, I was trying to make a good impression with my fiancé's friends. After a few hours, I thought all was going well. As I walked to the washroom, I heard, "So what disability does she have? No one can be like that without something wrong in their brain." FML

#21395050
69 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29371) - you deserved it (2416)

On 04/17/2015 at 2:24am - love - by apparently_disabled - Canada (British Columbia)

Today, my school had to make an official announcement that students were not permitted to go home due to Zayn Malik leaving One Direction because so many girls were claiming they couldn't focus on school with such a dramatic event occurring. FML

#21381783
254 comments

I agree, your life sucks (39172) - you deserved it (3369)

On 03/26/2015 at 9:20am - work - by Anonymous - United States (California)

Today, my dad turned off our cable. The reason? His favorite character from The Walking Dead died. FML

#21375425
205 comments

I agree, your life sucks (32014) - you deserved it (3078)

On 03/16/2015 at 12:37am - misc - by jfields2474 - United States (California)



FML's blog

  • Tania's illustrated FML
  • Hi gang! How are you all doing? This week has been quite eventful for some people. Uber has been causing taxi drivers here and there to get their knickers in a twist, notable over here in France, which caused…

Friday 26 June 2015

The whole blog

FMyLife, world tour

Available on: