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emeraldisle

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emeraldisle

143Fucked!

  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Miss
  • Birth Date : Wednesday 21 November 1990 (25 years)
  • <3 status : With someone
  • Number of visits : 6982
  • Number of comments : 687
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 4 posted

About emeraldisle : I'm awesome.

After being on this site for a while, I've come to realise that sarcasm and humour are lost on a lot of people.

emeraldisle's page activity

Visits<b>robotech80</b> - 4 hours ago<b>rocksmith</b> - 4 hours ago<b>raven83</b> - 4 hours ago<b>ugaboykin</b> - 5 hours ago<b>thelittlem</b> - 5 hours ago<b>Coachjoost79</b> - 10 hours ago<b>MegasaurusRex89</b> - 11 hours ago<b>Arnoud</b> - 11 hours ago<b>Zinnie</b> - 11 hours ago<b>clickme</b> - 12 hours ago<b>xcllla_</b> - 12 hours ago<b>heartofhannah</b> - 13 hours ago<b>fatman1970</b> - 13 hours ago<b>Ashd09</b> - 14 hours ago<b>pawesome21</b> - 15 hours ago<b>Dune1988</b> - 15 hours ago<b>infantrysoldier</b> - 16 hours ago<b>Garagedwella</b> - 16 hours ago

Fucked!<b>mominlaw</b> - 14 hours ago<b>FuKcMee</b> - 16 hours ago<b>rohaanncool</b> - the 02/02/2016 at 10:19pm<b>LivToFail</b> - the 01/31/2016 at 7:17pm<b>Clapdaddy</b> - the 01/29/2016 at 9:56am<b>BigbenMrJDM</b> - the 01/29/2016 at 3:58am<b>fmlnjd2013</b> - the 01/28/2016 at 12:42am<b>ciaraash</b> - the 01/27/2016 at 11:29pm<b>JusstJef</b> - the 01/27/2016 at 3:34pm<b>ironhead</b> - the 01/27/2016 at 3:17am<b>InfestedCarOwner</b> - the 01/27/2016 at 2:25am<b>GrinchFu1</b> - the 01/26/2016 at 6:39pm<b>Nolimits2218</b> - the 01/20/2016 at 9:27pm<b>nathansmith1211</b> - the 01/19/2016 at 11:12pm<b>heartofhannah</b> - the 01/19/2016 at 4:43am<b>miss_fluffybutt</b> - the 01/17/2016 at 4:23am<b>lambda</b> - the 01/17/2016 at 4:09am<b>chaseafterwind82</b> - the 01/17/2016 at 12:58am

emeraldisle's FML badges

Santa Claus

You've looked for Santa absolutely everywhere, and you managed to find him. Well done!

One more and it's business time

You've received 68 likes on your profile. Kinky.

Inception

You read an FML that mentions a badge, and in return you've been awarded a badge. A badge inside a badge.

See all of emeraldisle's badges

emeraldisle's favorite FMLs

Today, we had my grandmother with dementia round for tea. She looked me up and down and said, very matter-of-factly, "Well, with a figure like that, no one will rape you." FML

#21522996
59 comments

I agree, your life sucks (17257) - you deserved it (1596)

On 02/05/2016 at 5:27am - intimacy - by Sgt_Jackrum (woman) - United Kingdom (Sandwell)

Today, I visited my 90-year-old great-grandmother and her boyfriend. This wouldn't be a problem, if this boyfriend wasn't different than the one she had yesterday. She told me not to tell him about "the other one". FML

#21521764
68 comments

I agree, your life sucks (18965) - you deserved it (1437)

On 02/01/2016 at 11:37am - love - by anon (woman) - United States

Today, I had to teach my 16-year-old brother how to use a toaster. He thought you just plug it in and wait for it to "pre-heat." FML

#21520751
53 comments

I agree, your life sucks (18021) - you deserved it (1509)

On 01/29/2016 at 11:20am - misc - by whatarethisss - United States (Indiana)

Today, I walked into a room to help a patient get ready for bed. Except she already was in bed, with two other male patients. I work in a retirement home. FML

#21519742
98 comments

I agree, your life sucks (19821) - you deserved it (1530)

On 01/26/2016 at 5:22pm - work - by Anonymous - Netherlands (Noord-Brabant)

Today, my girlfriend gave me my first ever blowjob. It felt like she was skinning my dick alive with her teeth. I had to pretend to finish myself off in the bathroom and tell her it was because I didn't want her to have to swallow. FML

#21509335
123 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23238) - you deserved it (4803)

On 12/30/2015 at 10:21am - intimacy - by Anonymous (man) - Canada (Ontario)

Today, I showed my husband a recipe for the meal I wanted us to make tonight. He saw cumin was an ingredient and broke into hysterics. By the time he managed to stop laughing, he gasped that he couldn't eat something "with cumin it" and broke down laughing again. FML

#21508031
64 comments

I agree, your life sucks (19925) - you deserved it (2805)

On 12/26/2015 at 8:41am - misc - by -__- (woman) -

Today, my daughter asked me if we could adopt a child. I said no, since we can't afford to support another child. She then asked me if she could just adopt another dad instead. FML

#21504401
39 comments

I agree, your life sucks (20364) - you deserved it (1980)

On 12/16/2015 at 10:28am - kids - by anon (man) - Australia (South Australia)

Today, my cat regurgitated his food right on top of a heating vent located on my floor. Now the whole house smells like hot vomit. FML

#21501908
47 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21533) - you deserved it (1956)

On 12/09/2015 at 2:26pm - animals - by Jack W. - United States

Today, I gave my boyfriend a blowjob for the first time. He came. A lot. I doubt I'll remember it as anything other than, "The day I found out what sneezing semen feels like." FML

#21499606
118 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23423) - you deserved it (3460)

On 12/03/2015 at 7:52am - intimacy - by snortingspunk (woman) - South Africa

Today, at my Grandfather's funeral, my Grandmother decided it would be a good time to tell the story of the time she went to a strip club. FML

Today, while changing my daughter's diaper, I lifted up her butt to wipe her, which coincidentally caused her to fart. I hadn't wiped her yet so the force of air caused poop to fly at me at high speed, landing on my chest and face. My husband burst out laughing, saying, "You've been ass-blasted!" FML

#21496534
91 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25519) - you deserved it (2649)

On 11/25/2015 at 1:00am - kids - by coolest_mom (woman) -

Today, I realised how damn creepy I am because I get nervous and smile when someone looks at me, and no it's not one of those smiles you'd love looking at, it's a smile straight out of a horror movie. I made a bunch of children run away. FML

#21489520
38 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21105) - you deserved it (2528)

On 11/07/2015 at 9:33am - misc - by Hipnog (man) - Czech Republic

Today, I've been robbed. I came home to find my oven door missing. FML

#21487297
59 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23992) - you deserved it (1705)

On 11/02/2015 at 10:26am - misc - by racello13 (woman) - United States (New York)

Today, my dad introduced me as his pet orangutan. I'm a redhead. FML

Today, my dad was telling me some childhood stories. He mentioned I once started sucking on a cow's udder when I was 2, and I asked why didn't he stop me. His response: "You were an accident and I wasn't good at the parenting thing". FML

#21471391
50 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25047) - you deserved it (1714)

On 09/22/2015 at 9:41am - misc - by gotmilk? - United States (Florida)



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