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embruen

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embruen

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  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Miss
  • Birth Date : Friday 28 April 1989 (25 years)
  • <3 status : Single
  • Number of visits : 361
  • Number of comments : 5
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 1 posted

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embruen's page activity

Visits<b>rawr_ily96</b> - the 06/06/2013 at 11:34am

embruen's FML badges

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embruen's favorite FMLs

Today, my boyfriend went down on me for the first time. He definitely killed the mood when, while down there, he started saying, "Nomnomnomnom." FML

#20169456
120 comments

I agree, your life sucks (33158) - you deserved it (4960)

On 11/19/2012 at 12:46pm - intimacy - by wow babe - United States (Maryland)

Today, I was severely chewed out by my boss because, according to him, I look down on him too often. I'm 6ft5. FML

#20162604
94 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23030) - you deserved it (1561) - Translated from the french version of FML. Bon appétit!

On 11/13/2012 at 4:23pm - work - by makiju - Sent from mobile version

Today, on my job as a police officer, I received a typical domestic disturbance call. Not so typical was the address. Guess my wife's affair went terribly wrong while I was on shift. FML

#20155904
119 comments

I agree, your life sucks (39927) - you deserved it (1820)

On 11/09/2012 at 2:18am - love - by SebastianMiko (man) - Canada (Alberta)

Today, my boyfriend and I got intimate with each other for the first time. He shoved his hand down my pants, touched about an inch away from my clitoris, and whispered "cummm" in my ear. I doubt I'll have an orgasm ever again. FML

#20145795
118 comments

I agree, your life sucks (33504) - you deserved it (3526)

On 11/03/2012 at 2:02pm - intimacy - by Anonymous (woman) - Australia (Western Australia)

Today, my dad watched the news and decided to start preparing for Hurricane Sandy by buying $300 worth of long-life and canned food. We live in Australia. FML

#20138384
133 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28403) - you deserved it (1833)

On 10/29/2012 at 8:03am - misc - by StormSeason (man) - Australia (New South Wales)

Today, I broke up with my girlfriend, saying I had a lot on my plate. She responded by throwing an empty plate at my windshield. FML

#20138170
106 comments

I agree, your life sucks (10072) - you deserved it (24511)

On 10/29/2012 at 1:46am - love - by Anonymous - United States

Today, an old guy approached me and asked if I had ever seen an elephant with white ears. I shook my head. He then pulled the pockets out of his shorts and whipped out his sex nose. FML

#19926709
207 comments

I agree, your life sucks (32611) - you deserved it (4116)

On 07/12/2012 at 2:40am - intimacy - by Anonymous - United States (Texas)

Today, an old guy approached me and asked if I had ever seen an elephant with white ears. I shook my head. He then pulled the pockets out of his shorts and whipped out his sex nose. FML

#19926709
207 comments

I agree, your life sucks (32611) - you deserved it (4116)

On 07/12/2012 at 2:40am - intimacy - by Anonymous - United States (Texas)

Today, I had so much to do, I didn't know where to start. So I didn't. FML

#19714828
244 comments

I agree, your life sucks (11862) - you deserved it (41241)

On 06/01/2012 at 10:29am - misc - by Anonymous - Austria (Wien)

Today, some friends and I were pulled over on our way back from a party. We'd had a few drinks, so we tried to play it cool just in case we were over the limit. The cop didn't seem to want to breathalyze us, until my really high friend in the back seat said, "These are not the droids you are looking for." FML

#18451653
282 comments

I agree, your life sucks (12974) - you deserved it (41209)

On 12/07/2011 at 9:46am - misc - by Notadrinkanddriveidiot - United States

Today, my girlfriend shoved a Q-tip up my ass while I was brushing my teeth. FML

#18449583
234 comments

I agree, your life sucks (35185) - you deserved it (6629)

On 12/06/2011 at 11:39pm - intimacy - by Surprisebuttsecks? (man) - Canada (Ontario)

Today, my boss made me run yet another stupid errand. When I delivered the paperwork to his office, I saw an email printout on his desk. Apparently, he has a plan in the works to get me "fried" next month. I'm not sure whether to give him a letter of resignation or a bottle of barbecue sauce. FML

#18088361
172 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23068) - you deserved it (2345)

On 10/27/2011 at 12:15pm - work - by last literate - Canada (Saskatchewan)

Today, I lost my virginity to my boyfriend. Not only did he last just 2 minutes, he also sat there for a while afterwards, smacking his semi-erect penis in awe and saying, "Look, it's still hard! How crazy is that?!" FML

#17751753
205 comments

I agree, your life sucks (35755) - you deserved it (5393)

On 09/15/2011 at 4:03pm - intimacy - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Texas)

Today, I had to fire an employee because she constantly calls in, or is late to work. She became very emotional and I felt kind of bad, so I walked her out myself. We then got stuck in the company elevator. FML

#17750469
47 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25548) - you deserved it (3440)

On 09/15/2011 at 9:47am - work - by thatsmejl (man) - United States (Texas)

Today, while I was trying to explain to my friend how smoking weed everyday doesn't make you stupid, I forgot what I was talking about mid-sentence. FML

#16077554
482 comments

I agree, your life sucks (14071) - you deserved it (83531)

On 05/07/2011 at 11:29am - misc - by BCBUDDY - United States (Florida)



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