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ember19

Offline (the 09/20/2014 at 12:54pm) | Search for a member

ember19

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  • Town/Country : Not specified
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  • <3 status : Single
  • Number of visits : 418
  • Number of comments : 0
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 2 posted

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ember19's favorite FMLs

Today, I saw a spider crawling on my new roommate's cheek, so I told her to stand still so that I could flick it off. Several long seconds of flicking made me realize that it wasn't a spider at all. I had been flicking her hairy mole. FML

#13331304
136 comments

I agree, your life sucks (14338) - you deserved it (30683)

On 10/05/2010 at 5:01pm - animals - by jabba (woman) - United States (Massachusetts)

Today, I went over to my friend's house. Her 5 year old son answered the door and when he saw me said, 'oh great, it's YOU' and slammed the door in my face. FML

#13300010
89 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24757) - you deserved it (4490)

On 10/03/2010 at 3:40am - kids - by notyouagain (woman) - Australia (Victoria)

Today, my mom was taking an online IQ test. To the question "On which continent is Canada located?" she responded "Antarctica." If intelligence is genetic, I'm screwed. FML

#12438050
189 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30654) - you deserved it (3169)

On 08/10/2010 at 7:19pm - misc - by Brandon (man) - United States (Connecticut)

Today, I realized that in French, my name means "penis." This wouldn't be so bad if my dad wasn't fluent in French. FML

#12332692
229 comments

I agree, your life sucks (40066) - you deserved it (3392)

On 08/05/2010 at 2:24pm - love - by kiki - United States (Massachusetts)

Today, to save money, I wanted to fix my own leaky roof instead of hiring someone. When I got on the roof, the ladder fell. As it was falling, it broke three windows and snagged the siding of my house ripping over half of it off. FML

#11803226
92 comments

I agree, your life sucks (16400) - you deserved it (26079)

On 07/11/2010 at 1:15am - misc - by Anonymous - United States (Pennsylvania)

Today, I decided to take a nap before a big job interview at 6. I set two alarm clocks to make sure I didn't miss it, but I woke up at 5:59. As I'm scrambling in a panic to get out the door, my mom says calmly, "I took your alarm clocks out of your room because you looked really tired today." FML

#10841820
104 comments

I agree, your life sucks (37586) - you deserved it (3040)

On 05/29/2010 at 1:39pm - misc - by thanksmum (woman) - Germany (Berlin)

Today, while at work at a maternity and baby clothes store, I was supposed to send out an email about our "Beat the Clock" sale. After it was sent to over 500 people, I realized that I'd misspelled the subject line. It read, "Beat the Cock Sale." FML

#7336635
121 comments

I agree, your life sucks (11766) - you deserved it (28406)

On 01/14/2010 at 10:55am - work - by Oops (woman) - United States (Georgia)

Today, my best friend was texting me about her sick dog. She wrote "Do you think she will get better?", so I wrote "I hope she does". It wasn't until later that I realized I accidentally wrote "I hope she dies" instead. FML

#7154032
121 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30904) - you deserved it (8472)

On 01/04/2010 at 10:32pm - animals - by poordog (woman) - United States (Virginia)

Today, the guy I've had a crush on came over to my house. My Dad came in to see how we we're doing, looks at me and says "Man... You've REALLY been puttin' on the pounds!", pokes me in the stomach a few times, and leaves. FML

#6968150
71 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29269) - you deserved it (3637)

On 12/27/2009 at 2:15am - misc - by Fatty (woman) - United States (Washington)

Today, I was asked by my mom if I could have a joint-birthday party with her dog because it would be the dog's "big 1-0." She was completely serious. FML

#6822450
40 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22966) - you deserved it (2236)

On 12/19/2009 at 1:20am - animals - by dog_day (woman) - United States (Arizona)

Today, I was at my 10 year high school reunion. I saw the girl I used to have a BIG crush on, so I decided to go over and say hi. She screams when she sees me. Then, she starts hitting me, looking panicked. I control her and ask why she's hitting me. She says 'Everyone thought you were dead!' FML

#6753136
89 comments

I agree, your life sucks (36729) - you deserved it (2275)

On 12/14/2009 at 4:21pm - misc - by Ghost (man) - United States

Today, my condo board refused to lift the new policy requiring pet owners to carry dogs in common areas because someone's dog is peeing in the hall. I can't physically carry my two dogs, so I'm now forced to wheel them through the building in a borrowed baby stroller. FML

#6351761
76 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27473) - you deserved it (3412)

On 11/18/2009 at 4:50am - animals - by Slivered - Canada (Ontario)

Today, I ran into a car. I suffered a concussion and broke my nose. I wasn't driving. I walked right into it. It was parked. FML

#6002557
72 comments

I agree, your life sucks (9475) - you deserved it (37466)

On 10/26/2009 at 2:35am - misc - by munchkin - Sent from mobile version

Today, I took a smoke break at work and I noticed a huge zit on my face. I used the reflection from a window to take care of the problem and then realized that there was a staff meeting taking place on the other side. FML

#5947832
58 comments

I agree, your life sucks (9455) - you deserved it (34745)

On 10/22/2009 at 7:05pm - misc - by JC (man) - United States (California)

Today, I was so bored, I sewed my name into my underwear. FML

#5822673
76 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21713) - you deserved it (12167)

On 10/13/2009 at 11:25pm - misc - by Anonymous - Sent from mobile version



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