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emILYforever

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emILYforever
  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Miss
  • Birth Date : Not specified
  • Number of visits : 404
  • Number of comments : 27
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 5 posted

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emILYforever's favorite FMLs

Today, I got pulled over by a state trooper for speeding. When he saw I had something in my pocket, he began to ask if it was a weapon. After arguing for a few minutes I was put in handcuffs. I was too embarrassed to pull the tampon out my pocket. FML

#13537704
178 comments

I agree, your life sucks (7785) - you deserved it (38983)

On 10/21/2010 at 2:10pm - misc - by Victoria - United States (Georgia)

Today, my girlfriend told me to stop saying "I love you" so much because it's starting to annoy her. FML

#13055136
196 comments

I agree, your life sucks (20051) - you deserved it (13068)

On 09/14/2010 at 10:43pm - love - by migsman (man) - United States (Connecticut)

Today, I was on the toilet, when my Mom thought it would be a fun idea to barge in, take a picture of me, post it on Facebook, and tag me. FML

#12650265
149 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31866) - you deserved it (3716)

On 08/20/2010 at 7:22pm - misc - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Kentucky)

Today, I couldn't fall asleep till 3am and was woken approximately every hour or so. Why? I found out my new upstairs neighbors have a very active love life. She's a screamer. FML

#12404191
118 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30863) - you deserved it (2747)

On 08/09/2010 at 2:18am - intimacy - by SleeplessInSoCal (woman) - United States (California)

Today, as I was in the middle of giving my boyfriend head, he looked at me and said "Eat that cockmeat sandwich." He seriously thought it was a turn on. FML

#8612395
205 comments

I agree, your life sucks (17656) - you deserved it (3052)

On 02/24/2010 at 10:06am - intimacy - by Username - Sent from mobile version

Today, I found out my little sister was a stripper. At the same time, she found out that when I said I was having a "quiet birthday with some friends," what I really meant was "hiring a stripper to jump out of a cake." FML

#7420693
282 comments

I agree, your life sucks (46038) - you deserved it (7424)

On 01/18/2010 at 3:26pm - misc - by Jon (man) - United States (Oregon)

Today, my friend and I doodled on a sheet of paper trashing our English teacher. Later, I went to English class, and my teacher asked for us to take out a sheet of loose sheet of paper and write an essay. It wasn't until I had written on the whole front and flipped to the back that I realized I was using the doodle sheet. FML

#7301581
73 comments

I agree, your life sucks (3853) - you deserved it (27299)

On 01/12/2010 at 4:05pm - misc - by Busted (woman) - United States (New York)

Today, I pulled a hamstring by taking a dump. FML

#7139059
119 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21468) - you deserved it (5193)

On 01/04/2010 at 1:43am - health - by sadface (woman) - Australia (South Australia)

Today, I had a rare phone call from my ex-girlfriend. We ended up talking for hours about old times. It was the best conversation we have had in forever, it made me miss her and miss us. Later on in the day, she called back asking what we talked about. She was too high too remember. FML

#7121282
80 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28988) - you deserved it (3093)

On 01/03/2010 at 4:56am - love - by CP19JK12KH (woman) - United States (Indiana)

Today, I slipped as I was about to take a shower, knocking myself out cold. I woke up to someone banging on my door. It was a cop checking to see if I was okay. When I asked how he knew to come, he said he was notified by "a male neighbor who called anonymously." I guess I have a peeping Tom. FML

#6812305
59 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26652) - you deserved it (1823)

On 12/18/2009 at 3:46pm - health - by ThatAintLogical (woman) - United States (Louisiana)

Today, it's my birthday. My best friend called me at work and offered to take me out to lunch. When he went to pay for the meal, his card was declined so I told him not to worry and that I would pay for the birthday meal. He looked at me and said "It's your birthday?" He was serious. FML

#5565703
84 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31323) - you deserved it (2881)

On 09/30/2009 at 1:45pm - misc - by Rockyio (man) - Canada (Ontario)

Today, I realized that my coach doesn't close the door and the blinds to perform half-naked body checks (to make sure his team is in shape) on anyone else but me. FML

#5424616
119 comments

I agree, your life sucks (40553) - you deserved it (3945)

On 09/23/2009 at 7:28am - misc - by MaKaDa - United States (Texas)

Today, I was taking a shower outside at my fiancé's beach house. I was struggling to take my bikini bottoms off so I started to walk backwards to step out of it. Little did I know that I had pushed the door open. My fiancé, his family, and my family all saw me bend over naked. FML

#4895922
81 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31439) - you deserved it (7429)

On 08/29/2009 at 12:10am - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (New Jersey)

Today, my 250 lb ex-Marine dad announced he was going to start randomly punching me in the crotch, without warning, to "improve my reflexes." FML

#4235904
276 comments

I agree, your life sucks (61165) - you deserved it (4976)

On 08/02/2009 at 6:45pm - health - by theregoesmyspermcount (man) - United States (Texas)

Today, I took my daughter to the lake. She told me she had to go to the bathroom and I whispered to her "just pee in the lake, it's fine, but go in a little deeper." She went in the lake and turned to me to yell "MOM, IS THIS DEEP ENOUGH FOR ME TO PEE?" FML

#3804490
129 comments

I agree, your life sucks (9870) - you deserved it (52490)

On 07/16/2009 at 3:04pm - kids - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Massachusetts)



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  • "If drawing stuff is the food of love, then get a better pencil." That's not a real expression, I just made it up because I needed a good opening line. It's not even that good of an opening line, but…

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