emILYforever

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emILYforever

0Fucked!

  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Miss
  • Birth Date : Not specified
  • <3 status : Not so sure
  • Number of visits : 1156
  • Number of comments : 27
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 5 posted

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emILYforever's page activity

Visits<b>karacakal2</b> - the 02/11/2016 at 6:42am<b>WordBea</b> - the 11/23/2015 at 11:11am<b>FusionPlacebo</b> - the 06/28/2015 at 8:46am<b>Feminism</b> - the 05/17/2015 at 10:14am<b>Bob3332</b> - the 07/08/2014 at 10:40pm<b>DraconicFeline</b> - the 04/12/2014 at 2:15pm<b>TheKittiesTitays</b> - the 01/13/2014 at 12:05am<b>alexmac222</b> - the 11/25/2013 at 1:18am<b>elJefe98</b> - the 11/06/2013 at 8:35pm<b>Rizzen</b> - the 11/05/2013 at 7:59am<b>miss_madison</b> - the 05/01/2013 at 7:32pm<b>Starter</b> - the 02/22/2013 at 8:56am<b>hollybird84</b> - the 12/23/2011 at 8:11am<b>imafaglol</b> - the 12/22/2011 at 12:57am

emILYforever's FML badges

How depressing, no badges acquired at all. :/

emILYforever's favorite FMLs

Today, I got pulled over by a state trooper for speeding. When he saw I had something in my pocket, he began to ask if it was a weapon. After arguing for a few minutes I was put in handcuffs. I was too embarrassed to pull the tampon out my pocket. FML

by Victoria / 10/21/2010 at 2:10pm / United States (Georgia) / Transportation

Today, my girlfriend told me to stop saying "I love you" so much because it's starting to annoy her. FML

by migsman / 09/14/2010 at 10:43pm / United States (Connecticut) / Love

Today, I was on the toilet, when my Mom thought it would be a fun idea to barge in, take a picture of me, post it on Facebook, and tag me. FML

by Anonymous / 08/20/2010 at 7:22pm / United States (Kentucky) / Miscellaneous

Today, I couldn't fall asleep till 3am and was woken approximately every hour or so. Why? I found out my new upstairs neighbors have a very active love life. She's a screamer. FML

by SleeplessInSoCal / 08/09/2010 at 2:18am / United States (California) / Intimacy

Today, as I was in the middle of giving my boyfriend head, he looked at me and said "Eat that cockmeat sandwich." He seriously thought it was a turn on. FML

by Username / 02/24/2010 at 10:06am / Intimacy

Today, I found out my little sister was a stripper. At the same time, she found out that when I said I was having a "quiet birthday with some friends," what I really meant was "hiring a stripper to jump out of a cake." FML

by Jon / 01/18/2010 at 3:26pm / United States (Oregon) / Miscellaneous

Today, my friend and I doodled on a sheet of paper trashing our English teacher. Later, I went to English class, and my teacher asked for us to take out a sheet of loose sheet of paper and write an essay. It wasn't until I had written on the whole front and flipped to the back that I realized I was using the doodle sheet. FML

by Busted / 01/12/2010 at 4:05pm / United States (New York) / Miscellaneous

Today, I pulled a hamstring by taking a dump. FML

by sadface / 01/04/2010 at 1:43am / Australia (South Australia) / Health

Today, I had a rare phone call from my ex-girlfriend. We ended up talking for hours about old times. It was the best conversation we have had in forever, it made me miss her and miss us. Later on in the day, she called back asking what we talked about. She was too high too remember. FML

by CP19JK12KH / 01/03/2010 at 4:56am / United States (Indiana) / Love

Today, I slipped as I was about to take a shower, knocking myself out cold. I woke up to someone banging on my door. It was a cop checking to see if I was okay. When I asked how he knew to come, he said he was notified by "a male neighbor who called anonymously." I guess I have a peeping Tom. FML

by ThatAintLogical / 12/18/2009 at 3:46pm / United States (Louisiana) / Health

Today, it's my birthday. My best friend called me at work and offered to take me out to lunch. When he went to pay for the meal, his card was declined so I told him not to worry and that I would pay for the birthday meal. He looked at me and said "It's your birthday?" He was serious. FML

by Rockyio / 09/30/2009 at 1:45pm / Canada (Ontario) / Miscellaneous

Today, I realized that my coach doesn't close the door and the blinds to perform half-naked body checks (to make sure his team is in shape) on anyone else but me. FML

by MaKaDa / 09/23/2009 at 7:28am / United States (Texas) / Miscellaneous

Today, I was taking a shower outside at my fiancé's beach house. I was struggling to take my bikini bottoms off so I started to walk backwards to step out of it. Little did I know that I had pushed the door open. My fiancé, his family, and my family all saw me bend over naked. FML

by Anonymous / 08/29/2009 at 12:10am / United States (New Jersey) / Miscellaneous

Today, my 250 lb ex-Marine dad announced he was going to start randomly punching me in the crotch, without warning, to "improve my reflexes." FML

by theregoesmyspermcount / 08/02/2009 at 6:45pm / United States (Texas) / Health

Today, I took my daughter to the lake. She told me she had to go to the bathroom and I whispered to her "just pee in the lake, it's fine, but go in a little deeper." She went in the lake and turned to me to yell "MOM, IS THIS DEEP ENOUGH FOR ME TO PEE?" FML

by Anonymous / 07/16/2009 at 3:04pm / United States (Massachusetts) / Kids