emILYforever

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emILYforever

0Fucked!

  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Miss
  • Birth Date : Not specified
  • <3 status : Not so sure
  • Number of visits : 1323
  • Number of comments : 27
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 5 posted

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emILYforever's page activity

Visits<b>karacakal2</b> - the 02/11/2016 at 6:42am<b>WordBea</b> - the 11/23/2015 at 11:11am<b>FusionPlacebo</b> - the 06/28/2015 at 8:46am<b>Feminism</b> - the 05/17/2015 at 10:14am<b>Bob3332</b> - the 07/08/2014 at 10:40pm<b>DraconicFeline</b> - the 04/12/2014 at 2:15pm<b>TheKittiesTitays</b> - the 01/13/2014 at 12:05am<b>alexmac222</b> - the 11/25/2013 at 1:18am<b>elJefe98</b> - the 11/06/2013 at 8:35pm<b>Rizzen</b> - the 11/05/2013 at 7:59am<b>miss_madison</b> - the 05/01/2013 at 7:32pm<b>Starter</b> - the 02/22/2013 at 8:56am<b>hollybird84</b> - the 12/23/2011 at 8:11am<b>imafaglol</b> - the 12/22/2011 at 12:57am

emILYforever's FML badges

How depressing, no badges acquired at all. :/

emILYforever's favorite FMLs

Today, I accidentally adopted a dolphin for $125. FML

by Optimus_Prime97 / 05/02/2012 at 10:39pm / United States / Money

Today, I had to chase my naked brothers around my house for twenty minutes, trying to get them to take a bath, all while they were chasing my best friend around yelling, "IT'S WIENER TIME!" FML

by ShylaMarie / 02/14/2012 at 5:29pm / Canada / Kids

Today, I had to bail my drunk husband out of jail after he and his best friend tried to steal a police horse from an officer. FML

by bellaskyeb / 01/08/2012 at 12:42pm / United States / Miscellaneous

Today, one of the children at my daycare came up to me and bit me on the face. He laughed so hard at my scream, that he threw up in my lap. FML

by mew / 10/25/2011 at 2:04pm / Canada / Kids

Today, during my first date with a girl I've liked for awhile, she tells me about some minor disabilities she was born with. Wanting to be honest with her too, I tell her I'm slightly autistic. Her response was, "I'm sorry this isn't going to work. I can't date a retard." I had to eat alone after that. FML

by DyingPlants / 10/09/2011 at 11:27pm / United States (Missouri) / Love

Today, I finally got the nerve to tell my parents that I'm no longer going to pay them a flat percent of my salary, but only what they need to cover my expenses. Their response: "Better find a place of your own then, you freeloading bastard." FML

by Anonymous / 10/03/2011 at 4:49pm / United States (Texas) / Money

Today, I was expecting my period. To avoid the embarrassment of everyone in the office finding out, instead of putting tampons in my bag, I hid one in my bra. It fell out while I was coming back from lunch. I am now known to all as "The Tampon Dispenser". FML

by Anonymous / 09/22/2011 at 9:55am / Australia (Queensland) / Miscellaneous

Today, I woke up to a text from a girl I had slept with two nights ago. It read, "Please don't get mad if you notice a rash on your private parts. Sorry in advance." FML

by SterlingSilver91 / 09/03/2011 at 7:49pm / Canada (Ontario) / Intimacy

Today, I was dancing with the 4 hottest girls I've ever seen at a club, and I fainted. FML

by gb / 08/18/2011 at 1:18am / Australia (New South Wales) / Health

Today, a customer had an allergic reaction to the almonds in the sundae I made for her. We're supposed to put the almonds on unless the customer asks otherwise. She complained to my boss that I'd poisoned her. FML

by Unemployed / 06/02/2011 at 12:40am / United States / Work

Today, I finally get to go home after a 16 day training event in Colorado. The plane has been sitting in the runway for over three hours due to lightning storms and we're not allowed to leave. We've spent more time on the ground waiting than the flight itself would take. FML

by Username / 05/27/2011 at 5:13pm / United States / Transportation

Today, to punish me for being hungover, my roommate blasted the bagpipe version of "Amazing Grace" through his stereo. FML

by jm_track / 02/26/2011 at 5:59pm / United States (Montana) / Miscellaneous

Today, I lost a glove while snowboarding. I got off my board to find it, when a bunch of kids took the opportunity to kick my snowboard down the hill, while yelling "Run, Forrest, run!" as I frantically chased after it. FML

by gumpy / 02/25/2011 at 3:37pm / United States (New Hampshire) / Kids

Today, I attended the wrong funeral. I spent twenty minutes trying to hide and walk away without being too conspicuous. FML

by Arlbethere / 02/25/2011 at 7:18am / United Kingdom (Northumberland) / Miscellaneous

Today, my Halloween costume finally showed up in the mail. Their consolation for a late delivery? A 50 cent discount. FML

by Anonymous / 11/07/2010 at 8:05pm / United States (California) / Money