Submit your FML story

  • - Concept: An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
  • - CAUTION: Read your message over. Please don't use text language and avoid making too many spelling mistakes.
  • - Please note that spam and nonsensical stories will result in you being blocked from accessing FML.
Your nick:
Categories :
Man or woman?

elysium_lit

Search for a member

elysium_lit

0Liked!

  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Miss
  • Birth Date : Wednesday 10 January 1990 (24 years)
  • <3 status : With someone
  • Number of visits : 291
  • Number of comments : 5
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 0 posted

About elysium_lit : I'm 21. Anachronistic. I'm a university student with two jobs, a muscle disorder, and the care of my 3 year old niece. I try to make time to enjoy small things. I'm a double major - psychology and professional communication. I plan to work in an Equine Therapy related field.

elysium_lit's page activity

Visits<b>Freeze</b> - the 09/10/2011 at 10:08pm

elysium_lit's FML badges

How depressing, no badges acquired at all. :/

elysium_lit's favorite FMLs

Today, when I came home from work, my computer was drenched with water. My sister claimed there was smoke coming out of it. FML

#15964444
114 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28360) - you deserved it (2415)

On 04/28/2011 at 3:29pm - misc - by Tokany (man) - Romania (Cluj)

Today, I bought my boyfriend a gold watch for our 2 year anniversary. He bought me a jar of Nutella. FML

#15961473
330 comments

I agree, your life sucks (37143) - you deserved it (8888)

On 04/28/2011 at 9:16am - love - by nuttedthefout -

Today, I gave birth to a beautiful baby girl. My husband, the father of the baby, got a birdie on the golf course at the exact same time. FML

#15948612
231 comments

I agree, your life sucks (42413) - you deserved it (5075)

On 04/27/2011 at 1:07pm - love - by Sammy - United States (Texas)

Today, on a first date, I finished eating my sushi, feeling proud to have managed chopsticks so elegantly and then rubbed my eye, oblivious to the fact I had just touched some wasabi. What followed was a classy exhibition on how to jump around screeching in pain. FML

#15937673
76 comments

I agree, your life sucks (13500) - you deserved it (23046)

On 04/26/2011 at 6:25pm - misc - by Jyocka (woman) - Canada (Quebec)

Today, it's hot and sunny, and a customer asked me how I was, I responded by saying "It's a hot sunny day. Who doesn't love the sun?" He responded by telling me he had just had three melanomas cut out. I guess I did find someone who doesn't like the sun. FML

#15933136
107 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23785) - you deserved it (4946)

On 04/26/2011 at 11:03am - health - by fifthtimesacharm -

Today, I was at the bakery I work at. A man came in to pick up a cake he said he ordered, but we could find neither the cake nor the order form. He yelled at me about being 'incompetent' before remembering that he had ordered the cake from a different bakery. FML

#15923303
98 comments

I agree, your life sucks (33237) - you deserved it (2663)

On 04/25/2011 at 6:38pm - work - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Massachusetts)

Today, I was listening to my son's teacher gossip about students whilst in the grocery store. I was thrilled when she described my son as "A model student". However, she then went on to say, "Which is surprising considering that his parents are trailer trash." FML

#15895508
156 comments

I agree, your life sucks (40675) - you deserved it (7648)

On 04/23/2011 at 5:26am - kids - by kindgartin (man) - Canada (Nova Scotia)

Today, I logged on to Facebook and had 64 notifications. I thought that perhaps I was popular. But no, it was my ten year old sister, liking 64 of my pictures. FML

#15866810
125 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28996) - you deserved it (5956)

On 04/20/2011 at 10:57pm - misc - by GshDrnt (woman) - United States (California)

Today, I decided to start my exercise video routine. It's an African dance workout DVD. Just as I felt confident and motivated about getting in shape, I realized that my window was wide open and my neighbors were getting a front row seat to me waving my arms in the air like an idiot. FML

#15855723
103 comments

I agree, your life sucks (13925) - you deserved it (22502)

On 04/20/2011 at 4:27am - misc - by JenniWearsPrada -

Today, my cat took a shit in my toaster. FML

#15852262
288 comments

I agree, your life sucks (49850) - you deserved it (8079)

On 04/19/2011 at 10:21pm - animals - by Anonymous - United States

Today, my soon to be mother-in-law sent me a birthday present. It was a necklace for me to wear at my wedding. The pendant is a well known lesbian symbol. I'm a woman and I'm marrying her son. FML

#5392687
119 comments

I agree, your life sucks (36102) - you deserved it (2659)

On 09/21/2009 at 12:32pm - love - by whasian (woman) - United States (Florida)

Today, I was at my boyfriend's house while his plumbing was being redone. I really had to pee, but the toilet wasn't working, so I peed in his cat's litterbox. His cat got defensive, and started attacking me while I peed. My boyfriend walked in and saw the whole thing. FML

#4639027
182 comments

I agree, your life sucks (14229) - you deserved it (64850)

On 08/18/2009 at 9:13pm - love - by litterbox_girl (woman) - United States (Pennsylvania)

Today, my mom walks into my room, with a serious look on her face asks me "When a man is getting it from behind, the man on top orgasms, but what happens to the man on bottom? Do you think he takes care of himself or what?" Hand motions were included. FML

#2736001
250 comments

I agree, your life sucks (78531) - you deserved it (5102)

On 06/09/2009 at 4:14am - intimacy - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (California)

Today, my 5 year old nephew showed me green martians he'd made with his new Play Doh set. I smiled and said, "Wow! Now, how about some blue martians!" He looked at me and replied, "How about some blue shut the fuck up?!" FML

#56665
506 comments

I agree, your life sucks (236377) - you deserved it (82022)

On 02/16/2009 at 9:29pm - kids - by offbeans (man) - United States (California)



FML's blog

  • K'Naye's illustrated FML
  • Woohoo it's the weekend! Winter is all around some of us, but not in our hearts. To help fight off the cold and seasonal depression, this week we're taking a look at love and tenderness. It's what keeps…

Friday 21 November 2014

The whole blog

FMyLife, world tour

Available on: