elysium_lit

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elysium_lit

0Fucked!

  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Miss
  • Birth Date : Wednesday 10 January 1990 (26 years old)
  • <3 status : With someone
  • Number of visits : 448
  • Number of comments : 5
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 0 posted

About elysium_lit : I'm 21. Anachronistic. I'm a university student with two jobs, a muscle disorder, and the care of my 3 year old niece. I try to make time to enjoy small things. I'm a double major - psychology and professional communication. I plan to work in an Equine Therapy related field.

elysium_lit's page activity

Visits<b>jill97</b> - the 03/05/2016 at 4:45am<b>FoxHunt9119</b> - the 03/08/2015 at 1:42am<b>Freeze</b> - the 09/10/2011 at 10:08pm

elysium_lit's FML badges

How depressing, no badges acquired at all. :/

elysium_lit's favorite FMLs

Today, when I came home from work, my computer was drenched with water. My sister claimed there was smoke coming out of it. FML

by Tokany / 04/28/2011 at 3:29pm / Romania (Cluj) / Miscellaneous

Today, I bought my boyfriend a gold watch for our 2 year anniversary. He bought me a jar of Nutella. FML

by nuttedthefout / 04/28/2011 at 9:16am / Love

Today, I gave birth to a beautiful baby girl. My husband, the father of the baby, got a birdie on the golf course at the exact same time. FML

by Sammy / 04/27/2011 at 1:07pm / United States (Texas) / Love

Today, on a first date, I finished eating my sushi, feeling proud to have managed chopsticks so elegantly and then rubbed my eye, oblivious to the fact I had just touched some wasabi. What followed was a classy exhibition on how to jump around screeching in pain. FML

by Jyocka / 04/26/2011 at 6:25pm / Canada (Quebec) / Miscellaneous

Today, it's hot and sunny, and a customer asked me how I was, I responded by saying "It's a hot sunny day. Who doesn't love the sun?" He responded by telling me he had just had three melanomas cut out. I guess I did find someone who doesn't like the sun. FML

by fifthtimesacharm / 04/26/2011 at 11:03am / Health

Today, I was at the bakery I work at. A man came in to pick up a cake he said he ordered, but we could find neither the cake nor the order form. He yelled at me about being 'incompetent' before remembering that he had ordered the cake from a different bakery. FML

by Anonymous / 04/25/2011 at 6:38pm / United States (Massachusetts) / Work

Today, I was listening to my son's teacher gossip about students whilst in the grocery store. I was thrilled when she described my son as "A model student". However, she then went on to say, "Which is surprising considering that his parents are trailer trash." FML

by kindgartin / 04/23/2011 at 5:26am / Canada (Nova Scotia) / Kids

Today, I logged on to Facebook and had 64 notifications. I thought that perhaps I was popular. But no, it was my ten year old sister, liking 64 of my pictures. FML

by GshDrnt / 04/20/2011 at 10:57pm / United States (California) / Miscellaneous

Today, I decided to start my exercise video routine. It's an African dance workout DVD. Just as I felt confident and motivated about getting in shape, I realized that my window was wide open and my neighbors were getting a front row seat to me waving my arms in the air like an idiot. FML

by JenniWearsPrada / 04/20/2011 at 4:27am / Miscellaneous

Today, my cat took a shit in my toaster. FML

by Anonymous / 04/19/2011 at 10:21pm / United States / Animals

Today, without even trying, I convinced my 17-year-old daughter that blueberries are just peas holding their breath. I have raised a complete airhead. FML

by parentfail / 12/11/2010 at 9:44am / United Kingdom / Kids

Today, my soon to be mother-in-law sent me a birthday present. It was a necklace for me to wear at my wedding. The pendant is a well known lesbian symbol. I'm a woman and I'm marrying her son. FML

by whasian / 09/21/2009 at 12:32pm / United States (Florida) / Love

Today, I was at my boyfriend's house while his plumbing was being redone. I really had to pee, but the toilet wasn't working, so I peed in his cat's litterbox. His cat got defensive, and started attacking me while I peed. My boyfriend walked in and saw the whole thing. FML

by litterbox_girl / 08/18/2009 at 9:13pm / United States (Pennsylvania) / Love

Today, my mom walks into my room, with a serious look on her face asks me "When a man is getting it from behind, the man on top orgasms, but what happens to the man on bottom? Do you think he takes care of himself or what?" Hand motions were included. FML

by Anonymous / 06/09/2009 at 4:14am / United States (California) / Intimacy

Today, my 5 year old nephew showed me green martians he'd made with his new Play Doh set. I smiled and said, "Wow! Now, how about some blue martians!" He looked at me and replied, "How about some blue shut the fuck up?!" FML

by offbeans / 02/16/2009 at 9:29pm / United States (California) / Kids